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March 2015 article about benzodiazepine recovery: "I'm Not Waving, I'm Drowning"


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Here's the full title of the article:

 

"I'm Not Waving, I'm Drowning": An Autoethnographical Exploration of Biographical Disruption and Reconstruction During Recovery From Prescribed Benzodiazepine Use.

 

The PubMed link provides a description of the article about recovery, including a mention of the role that the "online community" plays. This "community" is not named in the abstract, but there's a reference to "success stories" that provide hope.

 

Have a look:

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25800715

 

While I don't have access to the article, I did come across a related document, which is a "Poster Presentation Prize" from the Sociology of Health & Illness, dated Sept. 2014.

 

See Poster #7 in the link below for a description:

 

http://www.britsoc.co.uk/media/69915/MedSoc14_Poster_Presentations.pdf?1412590338153

 

 

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Here's the full title of the article:

 

"I'm Not Waving, I'm Drowning": An Autoethnographical Exploration of Biographical Disruption and Reconstruction During Recovery From Prescribed Benzodiazepine Use.

 

The PubMed link provides a description of the article about recovery, including a mention of the role that the "online community" plays. This "community" is not named in the abstract, but there's a reference to "success stories" that provide hope.

 

Have a look:

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25800715

 

While I don't have access to the article, I did come across a related document, which is a "Poster Presentation Prize" from the Sociology of Health & Illness, dated Sept. 2014.

 

See Poster #7 in the link below for a description:

 

http://www.britsoc.co.uk/media/69915/MedSoc14_Poster_Presentations.pdf?1412590338153

 

 

 

Interesting, thank you Lapis. :thumbsup:

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Looks like a great article. Especially poignant is the mention of "biographical disruption," and the need to "construct a new life and fresh identity"

 

This weighs on me especially hard - my old biography was so incredible, (and many of my former colleagues are still leading incredible lives) it's painful reconstruct myself as a lesser version of my old self. At least it seems that way in the depths of withdrawal.

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Lapis,

 

Thank you again for another great article. You have contributed so many excellent articles.  I wonder how we could get a copy/access to the full article?

 

Wow. We are the "muted group", but also, we are in the process of "identity reconstruction". So eloquently put.

 

I often wonder where we would be, without the internet.

 

We will get there. One day.....one window at a time.....

 

 

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Looks like a great article. Especially poignant is the mention of "biographical disruption," and the need to "construct a new life and fresh identity"

 

This weighs on me especially hard - my old biography was so incredible, (and many of my former colleagues are still leading incredible lives) it's painful reconstruct myself as a lesser version of my old self. At least it seems that way in the depths of withdrawal.

 

Qui, you're not alone on this one. I think we all struggle with the issue of identity, of who we were before and who we are now. The truth is, though, that it's not over. We're still here, our bodies are still changing and recovering, and it's not over yet. We are "works in progress". I do hope we can get to see this full article, because we're just getting a snippet here.

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Lapis,

 

Thank you again for another great article. You have contributed so many excellent articles.  I wonder how we could get a copy/access to the full article?

 

Wow. We are the "muted group", but also, we are in the process of "identity reconstruction". So eloquently put.

 

I often wonder where we would be, without the internet.

 

We will get there. One day.....one window at a time.....

 

It's SO good to be able to share these articles with others here and to be able to have these virtual discussions. Many of us feel really alone, so our online community is extremely important. It's also important to have information that's based on fact because it's easy to let ourselves get lost in anxieties about unknowns. It's one of the reasons that I continue to search. I, too, think the internet provides an invaluable opportunity to learn, understand and share.

 

Thanks, Who, for your comments here. It's nice to virtually meet you and everyone else here! If I can find the article, I'll certainly share it.  :)

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This is a link to info about the author, Alison Fixsen. You'll see a reference to the benzodiazepine research paper in the section called "Conference Presentations".

 

http://www.findatherapy.org/homeopathy/alison_fixsen_2225.html

 

Another reference to Alison Fixsen, with a mention of benzodiazepine withdrawal:

 

http://scholar.google.co.uk/citations?user=cdYFrK0AAAAJ&hl=en

 

 

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Lapis,

 

Thank you for your continued efforts at keeping us informed with current benzo "goings-on" in the world. This pub med article actually helped validate for me that while the world seems to expect me to be who I was, for good or for bad, i am no longer that person.

 

  I've been struggling with that, feeling I'm less than I was, when in fact, looking at it today, I'm simply different than I was.

 

And while the future is unknown and, frankly, kinda scary, I am finally beginning to accept that I have to stop listening to the expectations of others and begin to trust my gut which has been screaming at me to stop trying so hard to get back into what no longer fits.  I'm not going to lie and say I'm hugely excited to begin anew, but I can say in some ways Im relieved to take off some unnecessary pressure.

 

Thanks again for your effort Lapis :)

 

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Hi WWWI,

Good to hear from you! I'm still hoping we can see the whole article so that we can get the whole picture. It's such a brief outline, and I, for one, don't want to assume anything about the contents. I do get the feeling that the author is referring to BB and/or something much like it, which reinforces how important it is for us to be sharing info and support here.

 

I understand what you're saying about identity. It's a huge issue. People are always changing as they go through life, but this particular change is so unwanted, so unnecessary and so painful. I keep looking to the Success Stories to see that people do get well and return to good lives. I believe the author of this article is one of those people.

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With the help of someone who can access online medical libraries, I was able to read a copy of the whole article by Alison M. Fixsen this afternoon. It's 16 pages, and it begins by giving factual information about benzodiazepines and withdrawal, including extensive references to medical journal articles, studies, books and other writings. Of course, the main thrust of the article is a highly personal account of Alison Fixsen's (the author's) journey through her initial benzodiazepine prescription, taper and recovery from withdrawal. She mentions BenzoBuddies by name, and writes of the shared common experiences, the support and encouragement and the Success Stories as vital parts of her online community. Towards the end, she writes of her "Rebirth and Reconstruction".

 

It was great to read of Ms. Fixsen's journey and recovery, and it reflects feelings, fears and experiences that we can all relate to here on BB. I heartily congratulate her on both her recovery and her achievement in having a published article on this topic in "Qualitative Health Research" (March 2015).

 

Due to copyright issues, I can't copy and paste parts of the document here. But should you be interested in reading it, you can find access information on this page:

 

http://qhr.sagepub.com/content/early/2015/03/21/1049732315576496.full

 

 

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This weighs on me especially hard - my old biography was so incredible, (and many of my former colleagues are still leading incredible lives) it's painful reconstruct myself as a lesser version of my old self. At least it seems that way in the depths of withdrawal.

 

I always knew that I was a talented individual in many ways but I now realize even how much more potential I had that wasn't being utilized because I took it for granted. And yes,it is painful feeling like a lesser version of yourself. I have improved a fair amount over the past 6-8 months so I have been working on getting my life back in order and it's quite a slap in the face to not be able to do things that would have been incredibly easy before this mess began. Oh well....we have to play the hand we are dealt I suppose.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Good morning Magga,

 

Thank you for sending this link. I am now sitting with my coffee, and newly established weekend ritual of drinking a fine, locally roasted organic coffee with organic cream and sugar, served in my fine china. What a wonderful way to begin this beautiful, sunny, green Spring morning:)

 

Blessings to you, and all the BB's

 

Tracy

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Magga, thanks so much for sharing that link! I hope others will share their thoughts on the full article, now that it's available for all to read.
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Lapis,

 

I just read the article. It made me cry. Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm glad to be able to read it. I think it's a good article to share with medical professionals. 

 

Thank you again :smitten:

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Oh, who-am-i, you're welcome, but I didn't want people to be crying!!  It's really good to be able to share the info here on BB. I'm sending a huge hug!

Lapis

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It's all good Lapis: to cry means to feel, and for so long I couldn't feel anything. I'm grateful to be able feel emotions again, all of them :)

 

What a triumph that someone has written such an outstanding piece, articulating what we are going through here on BB's. I liked the way she said that checking in at BB's "fed my daily need for hope" 

 

 

I think that is what it gives us all, hope. :smitten:

 

 

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Okay, then, that's good to hear! It is, indeed, amazing to see such a validating piece of writing in a journal. And yes, hope is food for the soul, and we need a lot of that right now.  :)

 

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  • 6 months later...
It seems that access to this article is no longer possible without having to purchase it. Does anyone know another way to gain access? I have someone I'd like to share it with....Thank you
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Actually, no hurry. I've decided my brainwaves need a break from technology, computers, computer screens, smartphones, phone apps, email, etc etc. Ciao for now, I'm going to detox from technology and see what happens...
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