feel so ugly

I used to be a beautiful woman but I feel so ugly lately. Tired from bad sleep, inflammation in the face, the thought that everybody is watching me and think I am the most ugly person they see.

 

Do you recognize this feelings? It is hard, I just went to the city and after a few minutes I ran to my care and drove home..Where is me, my beautiful, selconfidence me...

I used to be a beautiful woman but I feel so ugly lately. Tired from bad sleep, inflammation in the face, the thought that everybody is watching me and think I am the most ugly person they see.

 

Do you recognize this feelings? It is hard, I just went to the city and after a few minutes I ran to my care and drove home..Where is me, my beautiful, selconfidence me...

 

Hi, it will all come back once you have jumped and recovery is taken place....

its a temporary feeling......its part of this game.

 

You will be beautiful again ! how do i know ? experience.....

 

take care.

At least  you used to be beautiful, and will be again.

 

However I'm still old, greying, and ugly- and always will be.  C'est la vie.

 

I can at least, dress nice.

Lianne, Morreweg is right. It will come back. i am not there yet but there already have been changes. Benzos are a horrible soul stealing drug, they rob you of yourself and gouge out the core of your being. But you will heal.

 

I used to be very confident, love my alone time, and was (is) the oldest of a large extended family. Everyone relied on me for help and support. During this benzo nightmare I couldn't be alone (extreme fear), I felt like I let everyone down and everyone was dissapointed in me. Now this is not true, my family has been very supportive (although only a few kind of understand what I am going through). But this was how I felt. Now at the home stretch of this taper I am already coming back some, still have plenty of rough days but improvement is definite.

I believe I will recover completely, at some point, and you will too. Hang in there and God bless you, don't let the benzos get the best of you, you will come back to your normal self and you will be more beautiful because of the inner strength this experience will have given you.

At least  you used to be beautiful, and will be again.

 

However I'm still old, greying, and ugly- and always will be.  C'est la vie.

 

I can at least, dress nice.

 

A man doesn't have to be beautiful.....grey and interesting is cool too.

I thought I looked like an ugly 90-year old graying woman. And I was so distorted looking in the mirror, I couldn't recognize myself.

 

But now, I can almost recognize myself and I'm realizing that most of my self-perceptions over the past year have been in my head. Yes, the bags under the eyes from lack of sleep are real, and I have a few gray hairs, but a lot of it was the benzos messing with my head.

 

It's getting clearer and clearer now.

 

Lianne, you're still a beautiful woman. You just can't see it right now, but you will see yourself clearly again. And your beautiful self - inside and out - will be there getting more and more beautiful as you heal.

 

Hang in there. 

Thanx so much for your replies. It is really awful. I can't get my  mind set of it. Looking in the mirror I see an old woman. I don't know how to hold my face when I am on the street. Hope you know what I mean. If I have to smile or not. Normal looking isn't there anymore. I also think when I am talking to somebody, she See's this and that on my face, en there is so much tension than.  I also think I went old very quickly by al the sleep I missed. Terrible. I hold on, thank you, I need to hear your stories.

Hi all    I was good looking and looked 30 year's younger than I am , not bragging its just what everyone I know and met all said so, all i saw was my ''OK'' face . But now its gone i know what others meant about what I saw as ''ok''I look like Ursula Andress in the film ''She'' when she walks into the flame of eternal youth a second time after living for a 1000 year's the first time, then ages 20,000 year's in seconds of going back in to the flame with her lover   But GOOD NEWS PEOPLE!!! YAY!!!

 

There is an old thread on here under alternative health about this very thing, men and women on there in the same boat as us and yes IT DOES GET BETTER!! HOORAH!!!  I just found the link again so happy reading its been a great help to me as i have hair loss, turned grey and wiry and teeth issues as well as another cruddy bag of shite has happened to my body.

 

Nova  :smitten:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=77400.msg1022613#msg1022613

I feel (am) ugly most of the time, but for the last 2 weeks I have been choosing my clothes more carefully, a bit of make up...the worse I feel, the more careful I am to look well, it seems to be working for me.

Old grey fattening.

 

No amount of beauty sleep will do me any good. 

 

Lianne you're still beautiful, you just have to remember it.  The problem with the Benzos and their after effects- is that they make you forget these things.

Boy can I relate!!!!!

 

I feel very ugly and notice every little thing now due to not sleeping and the stress...

Sunken eyes, dark circles, poor looking skin, lack of vigor....I could go on and on

 

Looking in the mirror is terrifying to me, especially at certain angles.

 

I used to look 5 years younger than I was, I'm 30 now and most people think I'm in my mid 30's.

I think insomnia plays a role in how you look. I looked just awful when I had a long bout of it. Now, people tell me how young I look. ha ha! lol

I think insomnia plays a role in how you look. I looked just awful when I had a long bout of it. Now, people tell me how young I look. ha ha! lol

 

That is so encouraging to hear!!!

 

Thank you! 

Lianne,

Listen to all the wonderful posts. I have to listen as well. I feel as you do. Some days I look in the mirror and can't believe what this horrible drug has done to me. I have grey hair, hanging skin from weight loss, bags under the eyes from only 4 hours of sleep a night, and the look of worry on my face all the time. The anxiety is so draining. But it is good to hear from so many buddies "that this too shall pass". We need to keep checking in with the success stories and know that brighter days are ahead.

In the meantime, I try to meditate, pray, eat healthy and do some light exercise like walking.

I have to admit that I shed a few tears almost every day. But I think I read somewhere that the tears release the toxins! How's that for putting a positive spin on things. Keep your chin up!😍

 

And all the people you see moving forward: buying houses, having children, everything goes well, my relationship is under lot of pressure... Heavy Heavy. More people in their 30's?

And all the people you see moving forward: buying houses, having children, everything goes well, my relationship is under lot of pressure... Heavy Heavy. More people in their 30's?

 

You will be this way too. A house, perhaps kids, a great job and a loving spouse. I bet when you look back at these posts a couple of years from now you'll say, "Now why did I think this way would be permanent?" Bets

I tell us this tapering has aged me so much. I'm all flab, even my knees are fat and flabby😳. My clothes no longer fit, even though my weight is the same. What's up with that???

 

I have dark circles under my eyes, face is pale and sagging. I could go on! I don't like what's happened, it's really hard for me to accept.

 

RG

I totally get it RG. I am in my mid fifties and that is a hard age in so many ways. But I think Bets is telling us the truth when she says it can and will all be behind us. We just have to keep on keeping on.

Encouraging each other is a great way to do that. I keep posting crazy questions and guess what?  There is always a faithful BB there to comment or answer. Keep on venting, but keep on going! 

 

I tell us this tapering has aged me so much. I'm all flab, even my knees are fat and flabby😳. My clothes no longer fit, even though my weight is the same. What's up with that???

 

I have dark circles under my eyes, face is pale and sagging. I could go on! I don't like what's happened, it's really hard for me to accept.

 

RG

 

I have the same thing and it haunts me.. I'm only 30, just turned 30 and man do I look so different that just a year ago...

 

I have this hollowed out gap under my eyes that makes me look really old when lighting is coming from the side... ughhh, it's a struggle to not look in the mirror.

 

It's so hard to believe that this can be reversed... I ask myself, how can a face go backwards? I'm a guy and I'm growing out my hair ( I love having long hair ) just to help conceal the aging...sorta like what norman reedus has done with his eyes due to a car accident he was in....

 

ughhhhh.... I hope you're right Bets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:crazy:

I tell us this tapering has aged me so much. I'm all flab, even my knees are fat and flabby😳. My clothes no longer fit, even though my weight is the same. What's up with that???

 

I have dark circles under my eyes, face is pale and sagging. I could go on! I don't like what's happened, it's really hard for me to accept.

 

RG

 

I have the same thing and it haunts me.. I'm only 30, just turned 30 and man do I look so different that just a year ago...

 

I have this hollowed out gap under my eyes that makes me look really old when lighting is coming from the side... ughhh, it's a struggle to not look in the mirror.

 

It's so hard to believe that this can be reversed... I ask myself, how can a face go backwards? I'm a guy and I'm growing out my hair ( I love having long hair ) just to help conceal the aging...sorta like what norman reedus has done with his eyes due to a car accident he was in....

 

ughhhhh.... I hope you're right Bets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:crazy:

 

Am I ever wrong? Oops, I guess I can be. But I just noticed personally now that I have been sleeping at least 7-8 hours per day for a long while, compared to the 2-3 hours of sleep for a year, I have gotten a  lot younger looking. Even when the light is sideways. I know so because so many people tell me so out of the blue. A couple of people that I only knew since I had bad insomnia and now that it has gone away, they said, "I thought you were nearing 60. Now I can see that you are only 40." The reasons: good sleep and exercise! The exercise makes me sleep really well. When I don't do it due to bad snow, I find I am going backwards in the sleep department. But Spring is coming soon and the snow has been melting. Boy, what a tough winter those in New England have had this year. The newspaper said it was the worst winter for us here since 1934.

Bets

I tell us this tapering has aged me so much. I'm all flab, even my knees are fat and flabby😳. My clothes no longer fit, even though my weight is the same. What's up with that???

 

I have dark circles under my eyes, face is pale and sagging. I could go on! I don't like what's happened, it's really hard for me to accept.

 

RG

 

I have the same thing and it haunts me.. I'm only 30, just turned 30 and man do I look so different that just a year ago...

 

I have this hollowed out gap under my eyes that makes me look really old when lighting is coming from the side... ughhh, it's a struggle to not look in the mirror.

 

It's so hard to believe that this can be reversed... I ask myself, how can a face go backwards? I'm a guy and I'm growing out my hair ( I love having long hair ) just to help conceal the aging...sorta like what norman reedus has done with his eyes due to a car accident he was in....

 

ughhhhh.... I hope you're right Bets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:crazy:

 

Am I ever wrong? Oops, I guess I can be. But I just noticed personally now that I have been sleeping at least 7-8 hours per day for a long while, compared to the 2-3 hours of sleep for a year, I have gotten a  lot younger looking. Even when the light is sideways. I know so because so many people tell me so out of the blue. A couple of people that I only knew since I had bad insomnia and now that it has gone away, they said, "I thought you were nearing 60. Now I can see that you are only 40." The reasons: good sleep and exercise! The exercise makes me sleep really well. When I don't do it due to bad snow, I find I am going backwards in the sleep department. But Spring is coming soon and the snow has been melting. Boy, what a tough winter those in New England have had this year. The newspaper said it was the worst winter for us here since 1934.

Bets

 

This really made my morning. I was on the verge of tears reading it. I had a terrible night last night and thought about suicide many times while laying in bed. I thought about how badly I want to make these doctors pay for the crime they have inflicted upon me and others.

 

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I haven't been exercising because I haven't had the energy due to not sleeping. I will put that back into action today.

 

Thank you Bets.

 

;D

Slow down your taper (I am big on this), and wear makeup from the time you get up in the morning until you go to bed.  I hadn't wanted to look in the mirror until I started the makeup routine, even when at home all day.  I am 68, and some say I still have my looks, but without makeup (a modest amount) I can't see it.

Slow down your taper (I am big on this), and wear makeup from the time you get up in the morning until you go to bed.  I hadn't wanted to look in the mirror until I started the makeup routine, even when at home all day.  I am 68, and some say I still have my looks, but without makeup (a modest amount) I can't see it.

 

I'm a male.

Slow down your taper (I am big on this), and wear makeup from the time you get up in the morning until you go to bed.  I hadn't wanted to look in the mirror until I started the makeup routine, even when at home all day.  I am 68, and some say I still have my looks, but without makeup (a modest amount) I can't see it.

 

I'm a male.

 

LMAO! Why don't you watch the movie, Some Like It Hot? That will change your mind about make-up.

Bets