[tr...] Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 This is a lost of the hell I've Bern enduring .... it's not a complete lost but I'm sp acared to be 16 months pit and still suffering so grately. I don't have all of these sx anymore ...but enough to make me question my sanity and ability to endure every single Melting brain Burnjng brain Burnjng acid body Melting face Objects moving Body floating upward Body Being pulled down Severe body abd head pressure Buzzing of body head Terror in mind and body Panick Impending doom Black hole depression Paranoia Severe dr/dp Lsd trip Everything looks black and white Sounds traumatizing Smells intense and traumatizing Hearing robotic voices in head Severe akathesia Tinitus so loud it kept me awake Body cramps abd aches Hair feeling wet or growing Icy hot on skin Fiber glass on skin Dreaming while awake (eyes closed) Adrenal surges Hearung voices in head Hearing conversations between others inside head Room breaking up into puzzle pieces Internal vibrations Ears full of fluid Ears feel wet on the outside Confusion Rapid speech 2000 miles a minute Pacing the floors Agitation of the body to the point of biting self Pulling hair out Scratching face till it bled Scared to shower Scared to get off couch Positive or negative thoughts bring terror through body Body literally feels like toxins ate running through it 3am waking with terror and blood curdling depression Scared of Shadows on my room Sounds send terror through my body Smells are too powerful and send signals of trauma through me Don't feel safe Urge to hide in the closet Sobbing uncontrollably and begging my mom to make it stop Heart rate 200 when standing Electric current through body thst is actually painful Feels like a brick is sitting inside my head on my brain Brain feels literally numb Don't have any feeling that my son is actually mine Visions/flashes of me putting a gun to my head Literally feel my brain short circuit Feels like fire crackers shooting out of my brain Brain zaps Feel lethargic at times but body won't rest Irritability Emotions too much Soaking the bed in sweat like I took a shower in the bed Severe anxiety and depression mixed together Zero sleep ...too revved up ..body amd mind Inability to feel love or joy Thought of sex makes, me cry Mouth burning with tongue ice cold Stinging all over body Inability to eat Then eat a ton Hissing inside Brain Hysteria Jerking all over body Low blood sugar feeling Ptsd surrounding hospitals and my experience Feel there is no way out Inability to find peace Inability to distract The trauma is on my mind 24 7 and follows me to sleep when I can sleep Stomach issues Csn hear mysekf crying inside mysekf Terrified abd rumination over bipolar and mental illness Legs feel paralysed with terror Can not see the future ...don't think I'm going to be here Head feels to light at times Breasts always feel odd I feel like on a terrible lsd trip People distorted Desire to run n get help Vione inside me while talking to people thst says they know ur mentally ill Feels like a force wants me dead Feels like the hulk is inside me and going to burst out abd kill everyone Feels like a tiger is, eating my insides Can not take naps... body and mind won't allow it Vaginal agitation Fear of harming others mainly son Complete fear of losing it completely/psychosis Visual hallucinations No connection to people I know mike is my husband but it's like a dream ... Broken sentences in head thst make no sense Complete inability to feel calm peace or relaxation Chills up body Hot and cold flashes Inability to regulate temp Cant get words out Feel the extreme need to pace Complete restlessness Night terrors Flashes of my past causing terror Stinging like fire ants eating me Mind racing about the reaction no matter what im doing Everything looks like a black and white horror movie Agitation Rage Felt like the devil possessed me metallic taste in mouth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[tr...] Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 Guys I'm really scared Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [Mi...] Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Traumatized, you're not alone on a lot of those symptoms. Some of your symptoms I either have or had earlier including: Melting face Objects moving Body floating upward Body Being pulled down Everything looks black and white Sounds traumatizing Smells intense and traumatizing Hearing robotic voices in head Hearing voices in head Hearing conversations between others inside head Room breaking up into puzzle pieces Scared of Shadows on my room For me, it's a part of the depersonalization / derealization. Do you feel safe? Is your husband with you? It sounds like you're getting slammed with both mental and physical withdrawal at the same time. That's a lot to handle. Hope you're feeling better soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[me...] Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Guys I'm really scared I'm so sorry you're still suffering like this, and my heart goes out to you. I too had many, if not most, of the symptoms you mention at one time or another. But, though it took a full two years, I finally healed. Have you had any improvement at all in any of your symptoms? Even a small improvement is a sign of healing. It can take some of us a long time to heal, but eventually we do heal. Also, it would help you to get more support if you'd take the time to Create a Signature. This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you. Megan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[tr...] Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 Megan I have seen improvement but when I get hit I get hit hard I mean full blown Think I csnt hold on one more second...anguish ...dr/dp..burning acid ..extreme desperation ..crying hysterically ...telling my husband I'm not going to make it.... panick and terror all night mixed with severe depression and electric jolts .... I can't even put into works the torture ...and at 17 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Ro...] Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Well I've not had vaginal agitation, or LSD trip, but just about every other one of those things I've experienced in either small doses or tidal waves during my tolerance and taper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[kd...] Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 My dear , I am appalled by Drs drugging people to the point . You have been through so much . Any ct is difficult but off fifteen different drugs . You cns has taken a big hit, but it will heal, time will heal us all . It seems like forever but it happens....My thoughts and prayers are with you....Diane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[We...] Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 What do you eat ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ja...] Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 Guys I'm really scared I too ... Fear of harming others mainly son Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Ch...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Guys I'm really scared I too ... Fear of harming others mainly son Not nice, jabba. Please reread this section of the Forum Rules that everyone agrees to when they become members: Be polite towards, and respectful of, your fellow Buddies. We do not tolerate attacks upon fellow members. Any account created for the purposes of causing arguments and/or ill-feeling will be banned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [Lu...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 What do you eat ? Just about to ask this too haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 can someone give me a proper description of TRUE LSD trip.... someone who had this experience for real....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ja...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Not nice, jabba. Please reread this section of the Forum Rules that everyone agrees to when they become members: Be polite towards, and respectful of, your fellow Buddies. We do not tolerate attacks upon fellow members. Any account created for the purposes of causing arguments and/or ill-feeling will be banned. I believe that instead of banning me, the administrator should contact by MP traumatized80 to hear what state is ... or remain quiet for a potential murder ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mo...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Not nice, jabba. Please reread this section of the Forum Rules that everyone agrees to when they become members: Be polite towards, and respectful of, your fellow Buddies. We do not tolerate attacks upon fellow members. Any account created for the purposes of causing arguments and/or ill-feeling will be banned. I believe that instead of banning me, the administrator should contact by MP traumatized80 to hear what state is ... or remain quiet for a potential murder ... Knock it off jabba.....i told you once before these psych.meds can set off all sorts of crazy symptoms. if you have no clue about it..... its better to shut your bloody mouth. > Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mo...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 What do you eat ? That was a silly question W......you have so much knowledge . I can assure you these crazy symptoms do exist......believe me. and they have nothing to do with food.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ja...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 its better to shut your bloody mouth. > First close the mouth you, thanks. Here you are talking to someone who wants to kill the child, perhaps not realize it. Fear of harming others mainly son Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[pi...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 its better to shut your bloody mouth. > First close the mouth you, thanks. Here you are talking to someone who wants to kill the child, perhaps not realize it. Fear of harming others mainly son We take any reference to harm of any kind very seriously and have contacted the OP to give her the appropriate information to deal with this issue. Not all communication takes place on the open forum. All we can do is suggest on the ground, face to face help from a professional, the rest is up to the person. Your comment to the OP, or I should say "emoticon" was not helpful or supportive in any way which is why you were received the reply from Challis. Let's treat each other with respect and spend time more wisely by supporting and encouraging our members. pianogirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[tr...] Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 Jabba I have absolutely no desire to harm my child!!!! Did you read my list? ! It says I have a fear of it..I fear that my sx will make me lose my mind. I have a therapist and I'm very honest with her. She sees no signs that I'd do it..but when u have went through what I have you fear everything #!! I will not be writing on this forum any longer. I feel even more scared and crazy now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ja...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Jabba I have absolutely no desire to harm my child Well, again not write it, I just responded to that symptom ... I will not be writing on this forum any longer See you, but I think you have informed about what to do: and have contacted the OP to give her the appropriate information to deal with this issue P.S. Your comment to the OP' date=' or I should say "emoticon" was not helpful or supportive in any way which is why you were received the reply from Challis[/quote'] Ok, it's right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mo...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Jabba I have absolutely no desire to harm my child!!!! Did you read my list? ! It says I have a fear of it..I fear that my sx will make me lose my mind. I have a therapist and I'm very honest with her. She sees no signs that I'd do it..but when u have went through what I have you fear everything #!! I will not be writing on this forum any longer. I feel even more scared and crazy now. traumatized80, please stay with us ........please keep posting. there are many Members here who know what you are going through. Honestly , please stay .....you are such a nice person and i know for sure the stage you are in now.....is temporary, you will make it. Just ignore a European continental fool.......he is clueless, he can't help it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [Bi...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 The thought of harming loved ones or committing violent acts is not uncommon in folks with OCD(something that can be triggered in benzo withdrawal). They are simply thoughts. Thoughts do not equal action. Our withdrawing brain seems to like to attack us where we are most vulnerable. So sorry you are dealing with this. In my worst OCD moments I've often had the most violent thoughts and images flash through my mind. It's unfortunately fairly common and it fortunately does pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mo...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 The thought of harming loved ones or committing violent acts is not uncommon in folks with OCD(something that can be triggered in benzo withdrawal). They are simply thoughts. Thoughts do not equal action. Our withdrawing brain seems to like to attack us where we are most vulnerable. So sorry you are dealing with this. In my worst OCD moments I've often had the most violent thoughts and images flash through my mind. It's unfortunately fairly common and it fortunately does pass. Nice....I was hoping for someone with experience would come along.......! great support.....thank you for posting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ja...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Just ignore a European continental fool.......he is clueless, he can't help it. You are a woman putting really bad, I'm sorry: I have not offended anyone, much less you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[pi...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 That's enough already, let's just stick to the topic of the thread. While we understand that members may involve themselves in healthy debate and disagreement, personal attacks are neither healthy or appropriate. pianogirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Ba...] Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Traumatized, this is a horrific list of things you are going through, many of which I have experienced. Please stick with this forum, it will be so helpful to you. I know what it is like to be so terrified by all this, and I think you gave Avery good description of some of the things many of us experience. Hang in there and just ignore any unhelpful comments.. I know you're scared :smitten: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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