1 year off tomorrow

And i did think I would have turned a corner.

 

After my ONE dose of a antipsychotic it made my hell even worse.

After one year of surviving the minutes I still am.

Terror, anxiety, fear and suicidal depression 24/7

Sorry I have nothing positive to say.

No window,  no corner, nothing.

 

 

GG

I am so sorry, GG.  I just don't know why some people react so badly to these drugs.

 

You are being so strong and brave enduring all this.

 

We all hope you will get a glimmer of hope very soon.

 

I hope your dad and mum are both doing okay.

 

Hugs

 

LF 

Thank you so much lf!

I don't know why I am like this. The antipsychotic now scare me more than the benzos. I feel so damaged.

My dad is as well has he can be after a coma, my mum is fine too.

They are unfortunately gone to my dad's sisters funeral, sh of course had to pass away too on top.

I can't even attend the funeral the lunatic I am.

 

Love and healing to you too lf  :smitten:

I am so very sorry to hear about your dad's sister.

 

Life can be so cruel at times.

 

Keep hanging on. Something positive must happen soon.

 

LF 

Yes it must!!

GG has had enough bad luck! The boyfriend,  the dad and the mums accident, the aunt and all this in wd!

 

I should live like a bloody dutchess after this lol! We all should!

 

thanks for being my friend lf!

 

Lots of love 

 

 

Benzomama,

 

You are getting farther and farther away from benzos being one year off!! That is a good thing. You are also a warrior who will not give up or give in, time will be the healer for you.  Distraction will help the time pass while the cns recovers. Hang in there, the tomorrows up ahead will bring healing to you.

 

pianogirl 

Thanks for you words Pianogirl!

 

The other drugs refd me up pretty badly too.... maybe even prolonged... who knows...

it just scares me soooo much how I never have asecond of sxs free... but I guess many people do.

 

Thanks for you words Pianogirl!

 

The other drugs refd me up pretty badly too.... maybe even prolonged... who knows...

it just scares me soooo much how I never have asecond of sxs free... but I guess many people do.

 

 

I was pretty symptomatic at one year. Sure, I was doing more but there were some pretty bleak times as well.  Medications can really affect a lot of people in a negative way.  I've never had a single one that I haven't had some reaction to, mostly minor, but still a bother.  Psych meds were horrible for me and I had every side effect known and even some rare ones.  Still, recovery will happen when the system is ready, when it has had time to return to balance. It's a very complicated system, our cns,  all the wires have to connect just right.  Give it time, it will.

 

PG 

Thanks pg,

it's just a common benzo sxs right that one thinks you'll be the one left doomed....

its just so scary with no windows, having those windows seem like aha ok I'm still in there.

Surviving the minutes and days is sooooo hard after 12 months...

but I guess everyone gets there even if it's one hell of a ride and some others don't have quite such a hell ride.

 

Thanks for the encouragement 

Just keep in chugging along GG. Ive had no windows either and still pretty crummy. But it cant be this horrible forever. Keeo your chin up

Thanks sal!

 

I am chugging,  never heard that word before, but I'll do it anyway. 

same to you!

Like a train just chugging down the tracks lol american lingo

Ok, I'll do that then.

Rather use the german autobahn huh? No speedlimit it would all go faster.

Hahaha thatd be a great way! In an audi r8 too!

Yes Audi r8 or a bmw m5! 

Just the fastest way possible

Need to find yourself a metaphorical Koenigsegg then! Thatd be the fastest

Hmmm let's stick to the german cars!

 

Königsegg are they even allowed on the road?

You're so brave GG and such a fighter!

 

You can do this 

Thanks kiddo!

 

Getting harder, not easier to hang on.

Especially if you actually feel worse since the day you stopped.

 

Xoxo

I don't know what to say.....it's awful how you've suffered. I can empathize with how hard it is but I certainly get breaks, where I know you haven't. I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this, it juts isn't fair.

 

We have no choice other than continuing to hang on. Your time for healing will come. 

Thanks kiddo.

 

This surely is awful no words to it.

And all the stuff happening to me while it doesnt make it easier. ...

Boyfriend, dad, mum etc.

 

I hope this will turn good for me, hanging on thin threads.

I've only recently got to know you and I'm not sure what happened with your boyfriend/Mum and Dad. I hope nothing too serious. 

Oh, my bf of 6years left. My dad had a accident and was in coma for 2 months and my mum had a accident too.

Both survived and are fine...

This is just a hell ride. I so wish i can come on here one day and encourage people..

I'm so scared of being so non functional and sick so far out.

Thanks for your support kiddo!

I wish you healing too!!

 

Oh GG....that's terrible!!!!! I'm so sorry.....that's a lot of stress and sadness on top of withdrawal 

 

You ARE going to inspire people once you're healed. New members will see that no matter you didn't give up. You will give them hope. 

Danke kiddo