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Withdrawal from Lorazepam


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Hi everyone,

 

I have been on Lorazpam 1mg which was prescribed to me 'as needed' a little over a year ago. Last pill was taken 24 days ago. I have been having horrible obsessive thoughts (scary ones), no appetite, feeling like I lost myself, but than I am able to function (pretent to, anyway). I miss my old self before the Lorazepam where I had ups and downs like any other person but was HAPPY. I need support, when will this nightmare go away?  thanks to all of you. 

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Hi everyone,

 

I have been on Lorazpam 1mg which was prescribed to me 'as needed' a little over a year ago. Last pill was taken 24 days ago. I have been having horrible obsessive thoughts (scary ones), no appetite, feeling like I lost myself, but than I am able to function (pretent to, anyway). I miss my old self before the Lorazepam where I had ups and downs like any other person but was HAPPY. I need support, when will this nightmare go away?  thanks to all of you. 

 

Hey SDM,

Welcome to BenzoBuddies. You've come to a great place to find support for tapering off of and recovering from benzos. I was wondering how long you spent tapering off the Lorazepam? Cold turkeys or tapering too rapidly can cause some intolerable withdrawal symptoms. From the symptoms you described, I can tell you they are very typical of benzo withdrawals. The Ashton Manual has great information on what benzos do to the body/mind, withdrawal symptoms that one might get, and tapering schedules. Here is the link for it:

 

http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/index.htm

 

I know what you mean about missing your old self. You can be your old self again. It just takes time. There is no magic pill to make all the withdrawal symptoms go away, but keeping in mind that withdrawals are actually signals that our bodies are healing from the effects of the benzos, can really help. Staying positive, hopeful, and taking things as they come, goes a long way in this journey. If you have any questions or just want to vent, we are here for you.

 

Lori :smitten:

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Hi everyone,

 

I have been on Lorazpam 1mg which was prescribed to me 'as needed' a little over a year ago. Last pill was taken 24 days ago. I have been having horrible obsessive thoughts (scary ones), no appetite, feeling like I lost myself, but than I am able to function (pretent to, anyway). I miss my old self before the Lorazepam where I had ups and downs like any other person but was HAPPY. I need support, when will this nightmare go away?  thanks to all of you. 

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies, SDM, and congratulations on being benzo-free.  ;D

 

I was on lorazepam for many years as you can see in my signature block below.  I believe I started seeing a real lessening of symptoms about 3-4 weeks after I took my last scrap of pill but, as I'm sure you've read, we're all different.  I still had and have little waves of symptoms from time to time but since I know what they are, I try not to fret about them.  I figure it takes as long as it takes and there's little of the process I can control other than how I choose to think about it.  Oh, and I have increased my (very mild) exercise and cut out all caffeine except for an occasional cup of tea which I believe have helped, along with continuing controlled breathing to alleviate anxiety.  I know I had to take baby steps back into my life for quite a while and pretend my way to periods of happiness ("fake it till you make it").  Can  you think of anything that might bring a little happiness into your life that you could plan to do this week?

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Hi SDM,

 

welcome to benzouddies, if you seek support then you came to the right place. This forum has lots of supportive members that want to help each other out, more support is coming your way, take care.

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Just wanted to add my name to your list of supporters!  Everyone here is so nice and helpful.  I hope you find what you need here.  The 'chat' feature is a good way to feel as though you belong, so welcome!
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A thank you note to all,

 

Feeling so blessed to find this site. Yesterday, while feeling horrible, I entered the chat room. Had racing/obsessive/scary thoughts; my body was weak I was so scared. I was in the chat room for a while, and received so much help, support and understanding, and  it actually eased my symptoms. I can see the light. For the first time in three weeks I felt HOPE.  Thank you 'recover'.  You are the best, and thank you 'Chris'  for your kind words.

Shelly.

 

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Hey SDM,

So glad to hear that you are getting the support you need in this process of recovery from benzos. And feeling HOPE again is wonderful!! Just keep believing that you will fully heal from the lorazepam. It takes time, but while you are waiting it out, atleast you know you have a support system here, with others who can understand what you are going thru.

 

Lori :smitten:

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Hey Shelly,

 

I'm so sorry I didn't make it to welcome you sooner!  By now I'm sure you realize you are among new buddies!  :)

 

Keep the Ashton manual around for awhile.  It will definitely make you feel alot more sane!    :hug:

 

:2funny:  Keep hanging out with us and you WILL feel sane! 

 

I do hope you're feeling better.  Glad you came to chat!  :)

 

 

Phyllis    :smitten:

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Dear Lady,

 

In the past I came across the Ashton Manual, but never read it thoroughly. I read it now, it is like she is describing most of my symptoms, about the paranoia/obsessive thoughts. the niddle/itchy pain in my body etc. I feel much better. You are all soooooo wonderful.  I think the worst symptoms are the mental ones. I was always a thinker, but never, in my wildest dreams would ever see myself being scared from a person in the street, for no justified reason, and than blow it out of propotion with my mind. After reading the manual everything started to make more sense to me. But the only problem is that somebody has to regulate these medications. I was never told by my PCP that it is addictive or that it directly effects the chemistry in the brain. How dare they!!!!! It is a scandal.

They give us medication that alter the brain chemistry and fail to let us know in advance?? what a shame!!!!!!!!! 

I know everything happens in life for a reason. I know that this process is changing me a lot. Only those who are going through what we are going will ever understand. So maybe at the end WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES, to go through the journey of hell and come back complete and less fearful.

Lady thank you for being there for me I feel much better. I am working on a new obsessive thought that might be more pleasant.....lol 

 

Your Friend

  Shelly :yippee:

 

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Hi SDM -

 

Another welcome from a fellow Lorazepam person.  Soooo many ups and downs, and such a shock.  I was only "on" it for 2 months, have been "going off" it for 3 months. 

 

RE: the medical situation - a friend recently said there ought to be someone in the doctor's office, clinic, or whatever, an assistant, who, as a part of his/her job, whose job it is to help you when it's time to go off the medication. It would be such a simple thing to add, not very expensive, either - someone informed and experienced - like us.  My doctor just said "I hope the taper goes well for you, see you in three months."  I had no idea what it would be like.  And when I see him in another month, we're going to have a conversation I doubt he is expecting.

 

Stay with it, and stay with BB's - everyone here has been an enormous help to me.  No one else really gets it. 

 

Snow

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Hi Shelly,

I'm sorry to hear you are still suffreing to some extent. Did you taper your meds. I'm glad that you are off of them. These things you are feeling do go away. It does take some time. I'm wishing you all the best. Kel

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Snow, thank you soo much for sharing.  It is terrible, such an addictive drug and nobody in the doctors office bothered to educate us.

I just wonder if you got the mental symptoms as I do like the obsessive thoughts etc. I got the itchy skin at the beginning, pain in my head and numbs lips (thought I had a stroke) but now left with the mental ones....It is like a twiight zone....lol

Would love to hear from you.

 

 

Your friend

Shelly.

 

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Hi Shelly -

 

I have terrible days I think will never end.  No energy, no interest in anything, feel like I need to sleep all the time but there is no sleep, cry a lot, can't be present with anyone, can't think my way through the simplest things, can't remember anything, don't care what happens around me, can't enjoy anything, even petting the dog holds nothing for me.  I NEVER, on those days, believe it will ever end. They there will be a string of good days - and I don't believe I ever had those bad days, and the bad days are 100 times worse after a string of good ones.  There's a lot of despair, I think I'm really losing my mind, maybe have Alzheimer's, and on and on.  Maybe not being able to be mentally and emotionally "with" people who love me is the worst.  Such loneliness!  And it's so horrible to watch the time going by and going by and not being able to enjoy any of it.

    Also I have a lot of trouble with sleep, and very poor appetite, can't think of anything I would even want to eat, start losing weight. 

 

Things that help get me through the day (not that I enjoy it you understand) include meditation, and making myself spend as much time outdoors as I can.  Also, I have a great therapist who can take it on my bad days and helps me work hard on the good ones.  I do think the "issues" that come up during the bad days have psychological truth in them for me to explore, though on the bad days I don't thing anything has much meaning.

 

Snow

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

....It is like a twiight zone....lol

 

 

Hey Shelly,

 

Just stopping in to check on you!  :)

 

Believe it or not, I used to wake up with James Brown's song I Feel Good in my head.  Then one morning I woke up and instead of JB, I had the twilight zone theme in my head!!  :2funny:    You aren't alone in feeling that way!!

 

Hope today is good to you!    :mybuddy:

 

 

Phyllis    :smitten:

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Hi SDM,

 

You know what used to really bother me?  I was stuck in this time warp of suffering.  I measured my days by the number of days I'd suffered, it seemed endless.  The only thing I could count on changing was the days, but the suffering remained the same.  The rest of the people in my life had been able to move on.  Each day held for them a new adventure, an event or simply the passing of time.

 

For me, I was stuck in the same day over and over, filled with pain and suffering.  I'm sorry, I don't seem to be explaining this very well.  But, I hope you can relate to it anyway.

 

I just want you to know that I'm past the pain, it finally ended and I now have a life that has opened up to all that is available to experience.

 

Pam

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Hi SDM,

 

You know what used to really bother me?  I was stuck in this time warp of suffering.  I measured my days by the number of days I'd suffered, it seemed endless.  The only thing I could count on changing was the days, but the suffering remained the same.  The rest of the people in my life had been able to move on.  Each day held for them a new adventure, an event or simply the passing of time.

 

For me, I was stuck in the same day over and over, filled with pain and suffering.  I'm sorry, I don't seem to be explaining this very well.  But, I hope you can relate to it anyway.

 

I just want you to know that I'm past the pain, it finally ended and I now have a life that has opened up to all that is available to experience.

 

Pam

 

Thanks for stating it so clearly, Pam.  That about says it for me, but I'm still stuck in it.  It helps to hear from someone who's been on that path and come through it.  It is hard to believe it's going to happen from "The Other Side."

 

Snow

S

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Hey Pam, :-*

 

God bless you Pam; you couldn't describe it any better. Yes, the days that pass by, I know it way too well. And then the moments, hours of clarity, where we try so hard to hold on to. And than the fear lingers that the symptoms will come back, and than boom!!! we are faced with a big cloud- new symptoms are knocking on the door. But when we see the sun shininng with full clarity, completely symptoms free, for two full days; we regain the hope, and able to reclaim our old selves. Small steps, hesitant, yet determined.  

Pam my story is actually painful since I actually started my withdrawal December 08 when I stopped cold turkey (didin't know at the time), and  relaped twice in February, (only reason I took the pill in February was because I didnt know it was withdrawal and thought I am simply too stressed and need the pill), so I went through this hell before joining the group. You can just imagine, going through withdrawal, without knowing what was happening. I think this factor made my symptoms even worse. Than I started reading through the internet and found this site. What a relief it was!!!!! Yes Pam, time passed by, people's lives continued to move forward, while all we could do is pray to God, down our knees from the weakness of our bodies. I feel better- much better, and I know the direction is only forward, for each one of us towards the full clarity.

Thank you so much for all the love and support.

God bless you all!

 

Shelly

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Hi SDM,

 

I hear you so well with all you say. I think we both have done the same w/d times only I eventually reinstated due to s/x's I could not handle anymore. I so wish I didn't but it's done and now I'm titrating and still in this awful w/d stage of no good days to be had as of yet. I'm so glad you do have those good days, and hope you can get more and more of them soon.

 

I also love how Pam puts what we are going thru into perspective. She's been where we are and is always here to lift us up. I think she's an angel sent here to us to give us the hope we need!!! :)

 

Thanks ladies again for all your help. And God Bless you all. :angel:

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Hey Shelley!   

 

Just wanted to comment on "life moving forward without us".

 

I would love to be part of "life".  I do pretty good once i'm there.... it's getting there!  Yesterday I even had to cry before leaving with my husband to go to the grocery store!  Why?  Good question.  I just did NOT want to get in the shower, or do anything that had to do with leaving home.    :pokey:

 

The southeast TX state fair has been running and I wanted to go so badly to it.  Yes, it's been there 10 days now and today is the last day and I didn't make it.  Oh well, guess there's always next year!    :crazy:

 

Then we have my daughter who wanted me to babysit yesterday.  There was no way I was watching a 2 1/2 yr old for 4-5 hrs!  :-\  Not when I don't know how "I'll" feel from hour to hour.    :(        This too shall pass.

 

Well, now that I've vented here I guess I can ask how you are!  So how have you been Shelley?  :laugh:

 

Praying you have a good Sunday!      :hug:

 

 

Phyllis    :smitten:

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I can so relate,Phyllis - my son asked me to spend the weekend with his kids while he and his wife were away - It broke my heart - first because it indicated he had no idea what is going on with me, and second, because I just could so not do it!  Someone who needs a hour or more nap right after breakfast is not going to be able to be of any use to her grand-daughters.  I haven't seen them in a year, and that, too, breaks my heart.  Life moving on without us - I know I should say something cheerful about here, but think I'll just leave it at that, and thanks for the mutual "listening!"

 

Snow

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Hey sweet Lady, Snow, Skooter and all my BB friends :-*

 

 

Yes, time goes by, as we pause, in this unbearable suffering, but I am a living proof, like many others, that there is hope.

I went through physical and mental hell since Dec 08 when I c/t (didn’t know better at the time), relapsed twice in February not knowing it was all withdrawal.

And only at the peak of my horrible symptoms, God almighty showed mercy, and lead me to the internet and I found all of you to guide me and pull me up.  I was in mental and physical anguish that no words can ever describe. 

For the first time, in a long time I am actually able to enjoy my food in a restaurant, lay back and relax, go shopping and stroll around with no care. At times, it seems so surreal, and I keep asking why? Why do we all have to go through this?  I guess what really matters is to just complete this journey and never give up.

I don't know what tommorrow will bring, but I look forward, and the only time I look backwords is to NEVER FORGET!

It is the first time in a long time that I actually believe with full certainty that full healing is a guaranteed to each one of us. A month ago I wouldn't believe there is actually a possible end to this horror.

Sweet Lady,   you are a true inspiration to all of us here, and I know your coming days will be filled with joy and God will give you a well deserved compensation at the end of this journey.

Snow I pray the light will shine on you sooner than later-please keep going, it DOES GET BETTER. And Skooter, you are too smart and cute to lose faith so don’t you ever give up!!! And to all -I know there is a clear light and serenity  at the end of this journey, all you got to do is keep going despite the unbearable pain. Yes symptoms are sneaky, they appear with no warning. One symptom eases for another to sneak in, but REMEMBER the light is more powerful that any symptoms- It doesn’t sneak in, but rather APPEARS full force and diminish this horror. At the beginning we are just able to see tiny glimpse of it, but than it becomes wider and wider until it fully overpowers this horror.

Love you all.

 

Shelly. :-*

 

 

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Guess what??    :yippee: :yippee:

 

I just got back from Wal Mart ALL BY MYSELF!  :2funny:    Sad when that has to thrill someone so much!!    :crazy:

 

I asked my son to go pick up a steam cleaner for my carpet, he said ok but as usual it was going to be on "his" time (which sometimes never comes).  I got up, got dressed and off I went to Wal Mart without a 2nd thought of whether or not to go!  I even brought the list that my husband and I hadn't finished at the grocery store and did my Wally World shopping while there!      :oXo:   

 

:yippee:    I WON TODAY!    :yippee:

 

 

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Guess what??     :yippee: :yippee:

 

I just got back from Wal Mart ALL BY MYSELF!   :2funny:    Sad when that has to thrill someone so much!!    :crazy:

 

I asked my son to go pick up a steam cleaner for my carpet, he said ok but as usual it was going to be on "his" time (which sometimes never comes).  I got up, got dressed and off I went to Wal Mart without a 2nd thought of whether or not to go!   I even brought the list that my husband and I hadn't finished at the grocery store and did my Wally World shopping while there!      :oXo:     

 

:yippee:    I WON TODAY!     :yippee:

 

 

 

:yippee: :yippee: Phyllis, I remember how excited I was when I drove myself to and from Wally World!! It was so liberating!! Proud of you!!  :yippee: :yippee:

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Guess what??     :yippee: :yippee:

 

I just got back from Wal Mart ALL BY MYSELF!   :2funny:    Sad when that has to thrill someone so much!!    :crazy:

 

I asked my son to go pick up a steam cleaner for my carpet, he said ok but as usual it was going to be on "his" time (which sometimes never comes).  I got up, got dressed and off I went to Wal Mart without a 2nd thought of whether or not to go!   I even brought the list that my husband and I hadn't finished at the grocery store and did my Wally World shopping while there!      :oXo:     

 

:yippee:    I WON TODAY!     :yippee:

 

 

 

:yippee: :yippee: Phyllis, I remember how excited I was when I drove myself to and from Wally World!! It was so liberating!! Proud of you!!  :yippee: :yippee:

 

Thanks Theresa!    :)    I still can't believe the agoraphobia was gone this morning.  I didn't think twice about it and cried not to go to the grocery store YESTERDAY!

 

Gotta love the ride!    LOL

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