Author Topic: ocd, depression, anxiety..debilitating  (Read 3780 times)

[Buddie]

ocd, depression, anxiety..debilitating
« on: March 12, 2009, 09:13:48 pm »
I have bad ocd, constant 24/7 anxiety and depression.  I also have bad PTSD and truama from all of this and thinking and obsessing about it 24/7 which I can't control. I honestly feel all of this has made me sicker than the taper itself.  I am coming off anyway but I know I need help..actually I am too unstable for therapy and don't leave the house as everything causes shaking, flushing and extreme anxiety..even being at home I still have the pit in stomach and chest and am exhausted from the anxiety which brings on dr all the time and complete dysfunctioin..anyway..I may need benzos but am petrified to remain on them but also know this is more than withdrawal at this point and I need something to help...I know we become very sensitive during withdrawal but what do people take who have underlying debilitating disorders that got derailed with a truamatic cold turkey and withdrawal where they are in 24/7 panic and dysfucntional..has this happened to anyone else.. and what worked for you...also the herbs are like using skirt guns on a fire..
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[Buddie]

Re: ocd, depression, anxiety..debilitating
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2009, 09:21:10 pm »
[...], what dose are you on now? Is your sig line up to date?
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[Buddie]

Re: ocd, depression, anxiety..debilitating
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2009, 09:31:22 pm »
no..I am at .35..but this isn't withdrawal anymore to this severity...if you read my posts from 2007 here you can see i became completely decompensated and terrorized and really do have bad problems now..doc thinks I need to stay on and up dose to knock all this out that has been ongoing for 2 years and get me fucntioning again and half way stable and then come back down..however I am petrified to stay on but am very dysfunctional and have been in constant anxiety and agony and i know I need help.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: ocd, depression, anxiety..debilitating
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2009, 09:35:18 pm »
no..I am at .35..but this isn't withdrawal anymore to this severity...if you read my posts from 2007 here you can see i became completely decompensated and terrorized and really do have bad problems now..doc thinks I need to stay on and up dose to knock all this out that has been ongoing for 2 years and get me fucntioning again and half way stable and then come back down..however I am petrified to stay on but am very dysfunctional and have been in constant anxiety and agony and i know I need help.

I"m sorry you still feel so bad Lori. I'm not sure to say to you about updosing or getting off. Do you realize that at 0.35mg valium, you are essentually benzo free?

TC
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: ocd, depression, anxiety..debilitating
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2009, 09:40:35 pm »
Hi [...],
 
What you are describing is very, very common while tapering and post benzo use.  The drugs drive the fear and the only way to get out of this is to go through it and heal.

Even if you had conditions before the benzos that doesn't mean they will still be there once off.  Many, many people develop coping skills during benzo wd and don't feel the need to take drugs to get through life.


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I may need benzos but am petrified to remain on them but also know this is more than withdrawal at this point..

After all you've been through it surprises me that you would even consider using benzos.  I think you have been to many drs. and they can't find a problems so what makes you think it's more than wd?  There is really no way you can know that until you have been off the drugs for a period of time.

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and I need something to help


As you know there is nothing we can take for benzo wd.  If there were many of us would have taken it a long time ago and I would have been the first one in line. 

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with a truamatic cold turkey and withdrawal where they are in 24/7 panic and dysfucntional..has this happened to anyone else....

All cold turkeys are traumatic, there's no way around that one.  Yes, I was in panic/anxiety and dysfunctional for many, many months.  The difference between you and me is that I didn't reinstate.  We pretty much started from the same place and if you continue tapering we will end at the same place.  It's just taking you longer to get there. 

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and what worked for you

Getting off the drugs and letting your body heal, that's the only thing that will work.  I don't know if you are looking for a recommendation for more drugs but you know we don't do that here. 

TS
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: ocd, depression, anxiety..debilitating
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2009, 10:11:10 pm »
[...],

You have now once again been told the SAME thing by all the different benzo forums where you are a member.  You are asking the same questions over and over and receiving the same answers.  Do you want someone to tell you to updose?  You need to get off ALL drugs and let yourself heal.  Why don't you believe this is true????  You are almost to the end of your taper.  JUST DO IT!! :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: ocd, depression, anxiety..debilitating
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2009, 11:00:13 pm »
Thanks [...], TS and Molly..
No., I am not asking to updose..I said that is what the doc thinks should be done...what I am asking is what are some alternatives med wise for me to get to a functioning level again..I don't want to take benzos...but I know I had ocd, anxiety pre benzo and all of that has went out of control...if my own self help skills were enough then I wouldn't be in such agony as I have had 2 years to work on them...everything is not withdrawal and most are not in severe anxiety 24/7 and recluses in their homes and not on the phone and even doing nothing they suffer to the point of exhaustion to the point of being physically weak from lack of rest...my quest to be benzo free has cost me when I was not well in alot of ways to start the taper and kept going anyway..my anxiety was not managed at all and I was not sleeping..like I said I am petrified to stay on them or to updose but I also recognize I have a big problem...I don't want benzos and i am praying to God there is something else to help treat my issues that are way out of control....I also took quinolones too and there is some thought those could have posed a problem for me....I know no forums advocate anything and I wasn't looking for that..but surely others on forums who have been on benzos have mental issues that keep them very sick and they don't want to use the benzos but are too unstable for therapy.  That was what I was looking for is others who are in that position..some know what is withdrawal and what isn't and it helps to talk to people who have come off benzos while being unstable with their other disorders..just for feedback...as I think systems are more sensitive after benzos and some have better luck with things.  And YES Molly I will continue to ask as although alot of people are on numerous forums some are not and only visit one site so it helps to throw situations out there to get others perspective...I know these are benzo withdrawal forums but I find it hard to believe that nobody has other issues like this and are suffering in this way with other things.  I am not trying to be rude to you Molly but it might be best if you please not post on my thread here or at any other forum...it does not help me...I don't need sympathy or a kick to taper..i have been and in the worst possible way..I want to be benzo free and survive...you don't me or my history so please don't post less than helpful things or "call me out"..Thanks  (my fisrt post said " I am coming off anyway" even though I may need them."  So I am not looking to use benzos.  the docs aren't finding physical problems except from chronic stress, muscle movements and sleep deprivation...there is alot of anxiety and depression and ocd that can make people sick..
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: ocd, depression, anxiety..debilitating
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2009, 11:26:01 pm »
Sorry Lori!!  I only want you to heal and be well!!  I will stay off YOUR threads!!  I believe you have misinterpreted my comments.  Just trying to be supportive.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: ocd, depression, anxiety..debilitating
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2009, 11:33:28 pm »
Quote
what I am asking is what are some alternatives med wise for me to get to a functioning level again..

[...],  I'm sure that if someone found a pill that would end the suffering and give them a life back they would shout it from the roof tops!  But no one has that pill and one doesn't exist.  

Not only that, but you haven't been diagnosed with anything!  You have labeled yourself with several illness that would make us cringe if we even thought we might end up with something like that.  

I know of people that have had certain dr. diagnosed disorders when they started benzos and when they got off the drugs they didn't have it any longer, but I don't know of one person that got off the drugs and ended up worse off that they were in the beginning.


Drs diagnose us all the time with the mental disorders, ABC syndromes (ocd, add, ptsd, etc.,) and in the end we find out none of it was true.  We are just human beings that go through some hard times in life and instead of them telling us that and sending us on our way they give us drugs.  This has become so common place we now do it to ourselves and think we need a drug to function.

Why not try living life off the drugs instead of trying to find something else to replace what you are getting off of?  It's like I tell a friend of mine, "Why not plan on living instead of planning on dying?"  

It takes the same amount of energy and effort but it makes you feel better and the results are different.  
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: ocd, depression, anxiety..debilitating
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2009, 02:05:23 am »
Molly..I am sorry..I owe you an apology..I am incredibly on edge and I did get too sensitive and I apologize to you.  I know tapers are hard..I do...I think my mistake was this...I was suffering extreme anxiety from health problems and surgeries and then I took the ativan and xanax and the doses were actually not enough to knock out what I was experiencing and the panic grew and i was not functioning well...and then I cold turkeyed with all of that going on and went into a total complete breakdown and quit functioning in 5/2007 and instead of waiting for that to settle and getting some rest, etc I went on too low of a dose and began a fast taper should not have done that..I was in NO position to even think about a taper as I was so blown out of the water in every way..cut off from myself, family, friends, job and not even comfortable in my house...just 24/7 panic, shaking and complete nervous system breakdown...so that all continued and i stayed homebound and convinced myself it would all go away if I just off again..i was completely truamatized and really all I did was make myself sicker...the body and brain did that daily for 2 years..and I now see that it's not so much the withdrawal anymore but just a system out of control and never recovered from the breakdown...that won't heal...it's like starting a taper when you are already completely non-fucntional and basketcase and expecting it to get better...big mistake on my end..because now this is the norm..2 years daily and I just feel like this is the new norm for my brain and I am in a hypersroused state that never had a chance to settle and now have to figure out what to do to get this at a more bearable place as you can see I am dealing with more than just a taper withdrawal..my system was sick before the taper started..that was my mistake..had I done it like most I would suffer but not to this extent..i also have not slept more than 4 hours in 2 years so you can see out of fear and wanting to be off the benzo so bad..i dug myself in bad hole...love, [...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.