Kindling reinstatement!

I couldn't take the pain anymore, and I took k for a month after 3 years! I started at 1 mg for four days and then .75 for four days. Then .5 for four days and now and .25 for two weeks....i have been off and on so many times....please tell me how long I need to taper. I hate that I threw away 3 years, but I was soooooo sick since January that my family was begging me to do something....Is this short reinstatement long enough for a long taper am I ever going to be benzo free. Free from the damage.. I don't want to stay on it but I can't cold turkey it again.. All my reinstatements have been cold turkeys