Klonipin Taper Plan and Reduction Journal (Personal Style)

This thread will document my taper plan from approximately, on average, 2mg per month for the last 9 months.

 

There were days I used 11mg Klonipin (this was from the beginning of the day til the end, but I know very much that this was very bad.)  I used days that I worked to use .25mg to make up the difference.  The last 2 months, I have run out of my 2mg script at least 72 hours before next refill/appointment.  Each month I swore that I would really start my taper plan as soon as I got my script filled.  And I failed both months. I failed the very first day by taking 4mg or 5mg or something similar.

 

I want to document and update my plan, and use this as a way to gain feedback and also to stay ON my plan, if I have some sort of moral responsibility and accountability to anyone that might be reading this thread.  I am going to be brutally honest, and with that honesty will show the mind of an addict.

 

It is possible that I will update every day, but perhaps not due to work.  My current situation and my slogan is this:  FIX EVERY DAY.  'Fix' is used in the proper terminology and not the junkie terminology.  I want to make that word mean something good to me.

 

MY CONDITION:  I am 5'7 175lbs and in good health.  I have no glaring health issues and the only serious complaint I have in my life is the fact that I work nights and that causes insomnia, fighting against the grain to sleep during the day - and my anxiety problems.  Of course the addict problem as well.  I had no idea Klonipin was insidious and my doctor did not warn me of the risks involved.  He just showed me a list of anxiety medication that my insurance company had given him that they would approve, and I picked one off the list that he recommended.  We started at .5.

 

THE PLAN:  This is going ultra-super slow and I have reason to believe that it might be actually be more harmful to my body to go as slow as this, as the amount of Klonipin total will be more than documented success taper stories. I have not yet gotten to the point where K-pin makes me feel the opposite of what it is supposed to do.  If I take 2, I will feel 'normal + anxiety free', if I take 1 I will feel 'normal + slight anxiety', if I take 1.5 I will feel 'Normal + enough strength to make it to the store that day and do laundry'. 

 

I will drop 5% every 14 days.  I am going to begin with 1.5 Klon, and in 2 weeks I will reduce it by 5%.  I will continue doing so until I am done.  I will shave small pieces off.  I will update this journal every day until I tell you that I have succeeded.  At this rate it will take *40* weeks to take my last Klonipin.

 

I can keep my meds under lock and key but as I am divorced and am single, I have noone that can get my meds but me.  I will keep them there as to make it a pain to get, but I know that if I break down I will get one if I need it.

 

This is as serious as I think I can get at this point.  I just hope I do not fail this time, as it will demoralize me big time.

 

Day 1 (November 25th am) I have 2.25 klonipin left and it is not until December 5th at midnight that I can refill my next script of Klonipin.  I have five work days during this time.  I have the option to get 15mg of Xanax to bridge me until my next appointment which I will use, tomorrow afternoon, on the condition that it goes into the taper plan.  I have taken 2.25 Klonipin today and feel just fine.  The last 3 days, work days, I took .25, .25, and .75.  I felt general malaise and anxiety on work day 3.  If I choose not to take the Xanax, I will have an average of .25kpin over 9 days, which will likely turn me into a bit of a wreck, but I know I will not die.  I will just have the bad dreams and hallucinations.

 

I have a spreadsheet that I am updating every day that will show me how many Klonipin I was scripted, how many I am supposed to take, how many I have taken, how many I have left, whether it is a work day or not, what the average is above or below my target taper plan. 

 

Thank you for reading and I welcome your opinions and knowledge.  This will not be an easy run, but I will do my best.  Once again, thank you. 

 

 

My god do I hope this will be a very boring taper, but since I have no other issues other than an addiction to Benzos, I am hoping that this will be a good 'control group' journal that might be useful for someone.  Or even if someone is in the same position looking for answers, I hope I can help.

 

By the way, my previous 2 weeks worth of Klonopin use were:

 

.75., .25, .25, 2, 4, 2.5, 7.75, .25, 8.5, .25, 1.25, 11.5, 11.5, 8.5

 

The huge spike at the end is followed by a string of proper use, fortunately.  I don't know how or why I use that way.  It's like I just give up and say 'screw it, I want to feel better' and I go for it.  Even though I know I will pay for it later.  It's just the mind of the addict. 

 

I'll be back in the afternoon to let folks know how I feel.

 

-kdawg

Hi,

 

Don't give up. You are looking for help.  This is a good place to get it. Running out of K is not a good thing. Xanax won't replace it, at least it didn't for me. I still went into K w/d (they start in three days) and had to go back to K and wean off Xanax.

 

Get help here.

Good luck to you.

 

Jenny

Thank you Jenny, I had the same problem.  I am hoping that the small amount of Xanax combined with a very small amount of Klonipin will get me through the problems enough to get to my starting point with the Klonipin-only taper.

 

DAY 2 of what I call pre-Taper (running out of Klonipin, still may decide to get Xanax)

 

It's the waking up that is the worst for me.  From a decent night of sleep to remembering, 'oh yeah forgot about this for awhile.  big ball of anxiety about to hit in 3....2....1.... boom'.  Constantly looking at my spreadsheet, waiting for the time when I can REALLY start.  Hoping I don't fail for the third month in a row.  I know I want this stuff gone, and it's been less than a year, but it's got it's hooks in me pretty good.  When I take an amount that makes me feel awake and energetic, I do things like make YouTube Videos, do laundry, etc.  People rely on me to be me.  When I'm not feeling well and not around I need to make excuses that I don't want to make.  I constantly want to talk to someone like my friends and family, but I know for a fact that while my friends do help - they have their own lives and problems and only have enough time to help me a little.  My family is out of the question.  My family is the reason I still have a job, still have anything at all.  My father is old school.  He just wouldn't do anything at all.  He'd just tell me to tough it out and deal with it -- that I shouldn't have started in the first place. 

 

Okay, so I feel fine physically today except for the anxiety of knowing that I will have a difficult 8-9 more days ahead of me.  As I said, I will be able to take a very very small amount of Klonipin every day, which will assist in taking the edge off.  (Or is it better to take a proper dose every few days?  I am unsure.)  In any case, things will start to get more interesting soon.  Writing about it helps, takes the mind off.  Thanks for listening. 

 

kdawg

 

 

15mg Xanax possible off the table, will let you know later.  I figured that I was going to be able to get these 'bridging' xanax, so I took my proper dose yesterday instead of splitting it up.  As it is now, I have .25mg of Klonipin to split over 180 hours.  Clearly this will not really work, and withdrawals will become a part of my life.  Reinstatement will come, but it will come eventually and the taper plan will start, but I am left with possible health risks and clear trouble with many different issues.  Thanksgiving weekend makes contacting a doctor near impossible and only the ER (which I loathe to go into the ER for a drug withdrawal issue, but I do have health insurance) as a backup plan.  I will have to concern myself at this point with hoping that my body isn't completely ruined when I go to work and end up getting fired for being unable to properly perform my job. 

 

So yes it's a rather scary proposition.  In any case, I will continue with my daily blog and maintain my story throughout this grueling 40 week process.

 

Day 3 Pre-Taper Plan .05 Klonipin taken.  No withdrawal symptoms except for fear of the coming week.  This could be something that changes my life, whether I can perform my job or not in this period.  Last month (another failed attempt to start tapering) I was able to make it 72 hours and feel relatively fine, with the final day insomnia being an issue. Quite scary.  Does anyone reading this know exactly the date a refill is allowed for?  Is it 28 days?  27 days?  In any case it will be a trial.

 

I will let you know today if doctor #2 does what he says and fills the gap with xanax or continues his time in Vegas without a care in the world for the patients that need him.

 

-kdawg

 

Edit to Day 3 pre-taper

 

I was able to receive 25mg of Xanax from Doctor #2 who deigned to call me in a script.  He was very accommodating after 4 phone calls to his office over a span of 3 days.  I will still begin my proper taper on December 5th, because Xanax and Klonipin are two different drugs and it will be hard to accurately know what to taper.  I know it has a less half-life than Klonipin so I may be forced to take a little more until my proper taper begins.  Yes, the scary mind of the user is in action here. 

 

As expected, after 1mg of Xanax I feel good.  I can't wait to really try and really work hard at getting this awful meds' hooks out of me. 

 

I will continue to write each day as Jenny noted, Xanax will not replace Klonipin and I still may experience some withdrawal effects which may make me want to take even more Xanax.  This will assist me in keeping myself accountable to do what I say I will do. 

 

Thank you for reading,

Kdawg

thekdawg21,

 

I'm a bit confused.  Are you saying you have been taking as little as .25mg of Klonopin and then the next day jumping up to something as high as 11.5mg and then drop down to a super low dose again?  I never thought such a thing was possible without devastating effects.  I hope whatever you are trying to do to get off will work.

Yes my friend that's what I did.  The half-life covered me for the next day.  I wasn't too thrilled, but my job keeps me so busy that I can't even consider what I'm feeling, I just have to work work work.

 

I think it caught up to me yesterday, after the big spike followed by the almost nothing dosing.  I was dealing with some hardcore anxiety about whether my second doctor was going to call me back or not.

 

My physiology and absolutely slow metablolism might mean that I get a good delayed reaction (up to a week or more) when it comes to some feelings that others might get the very next day.

It's working so far!

 

Day 4 Pre-Taper

 

Today is a work day and I feel absolutely fine.  I don't know if this is a ridiculous mistake or not, but since I'm actually taking less meds than normal, it seems the right way to go.  Today, I will take .5mg of Xanax instead of the 2 or 1.5 I would if I had a day off.  (for some reason it's much harder since on days off and I'm a shut in, the hours go by much more slowly)

 

Yesterday during the afternoon I took 1mg of Xanax and felt fine.  In the evening I took 1 more mg of Xanax and I was barely writing texts out properly I was so tired.  I remember taking at least 3 minutes to write a text out properly, I kept falling asleep in my chair.  I believe this means my dose is too high.

 

In any case, I feel super strong about this klonipin taper.  Here is what I expect to happen:

 

- To feel mostly okay, with cravings to feel good enough to take just a few more so that I can be superman and get everything done around the house.

- Anxiety will be lower than normal, and with that 'just slightly better than normal' I wil be tempted to go for the 'feeling great' which I know is no longer on the table.

 

Quick summary:

 

Last night's symptoms: 

 

- Nodding out for an hour or two, last two hours of 'being awake' were almost completely non productive.

- Nothing else.

 

Tonight's symptoms, just before work:

 

- Took .5 Xanax and I should feel just perfectly fine.  It is 1/3rd of what I took yesterday. 

 

Thanks again for reading!

Day 5 Pre Taper

 

Can you believe it I only took 1mg Xanax today?  I felt fine too.  I'm feeling better and better and stronger and stronger about this taper plan.  I'm testing the waters right now and I don't see any sharks just yet. 

 

Anxiety at a minimum, things around the house getting done... Things won't start to really happen until I start dropping MG of Klon, but I am hoping that my slow metabolism will assist me.

Day 6 Pre-Taper

 

Today was the first day I started to really start to feel bad.  I felt off.  Sick.  Like something was wrong.  I had slept 14 hours the night before and felt like I just couldn't stop sleeping, but I had to wake up for work. 

 

Today is Sunday and I will get my Klonipin script refilled on Friday, and that will likely fix my malaise because as JennyK said (and I didn't quite believe, Xanax will not make you feel better from a Klonipin withdrawal).  I assumed Xanax would make me feel the same, just for less time.  That's not true though.  I feel exactly the same as I did last month when I ran out of Klonipin, except if I take a .5 Xanax I might feel a little energetic for about a half hour or so, and if I take more than that I simply feel sleepy.  I haven't broken my pact yet and this is not fun.  I want to feel normal and just take enough to make me feel normal, but I need to get this drugs hooks out of me or I will end up on this drug for life.  And every month will be a fight to make sure I don't take too much.  (Clearly tolerance is having it's effect on me.)

 

Also this deep malaise I feel could definitely be just a huge comedown from the days where I was taking 11.5 and 8.5k days.  It's impossible to know. 

 

Anyway, another work day tomorrow.  The days are easier to abstain from taking meds, but your job performance suffers.  I just hope that a taper plan works.  I find it hard to believe that someone taking a med for 8 months can suffer it's effects for years, and I'm not sure I can handle that.  3 Years of withdrawal, malaise, hallucinations, shivers, lack of energy?  How can it possibly be done?  I really hope that it's a little easier than most people say it is.

 

Thanks for reading,

Kdawg

Day 7 and 8 Pre-Taper

 

These were bad days.  I worked, but I struggled with no Xanax until the end of the day just so I could take 1mg and get a full eight hours of sleep.  I had no side effects other than severe anxiety and that just...  impossible to describe feeling of feeing awful.  Like a horrible tingling in your body.  A feeling like you want to be doing anything but what you are doing right now, but when you go and do it, you get that same feeling to want to go do something else.  I laid today with my knees on the ground and head into the floor begging myself to just PLEASE succeed on the taper when it starts.  I called a 24 hour pharmacy to see when I can get my prescription refilled, but they just said 'not yet'. 

 

Hopefully my prattling on hasn't killed my thread and I do hope that people are reading it, because I will have questions as we go along.  Such as this one:

 

I have a 24 CVS pharmacy within a few miles and I called the pharmacist and asked her if she could tell me when the earliest I could re-fill it.  I have been out of klonipin and replacing it with Xanax for the past 5 days.  She told me the 5th.  So I tried to use the Android app to get my prescription filled on midnight December 5th.  They called me up saying that they can't fill it now.  The earliest was in 4 days. (This was November 30th, 4 days from them is December 4).  So I am here with 4.5mg of Xanax left, and wondering how much I can use to assist in staving off these horrible feelings (just the assistance in getting to sleep is the biggest one). 

 

The app has told me I can fill the damn prescription since November 30th, of course that's not true.  Last month I screwed up my taper because I was in a different state all month without my spreadsheet to tell me how much I could take and I trusted that app, thinking that was the date that I would run out, so I tapered based on the app's date saying when it would be ready.  Needless to say that was my introduction to this wonderful site and I failed my second Taper attempt because of the CVS app and either my misunderstanding of ways pharmacies work, or something I should be calling my lawyer about with this app that lies about when I can pick up my prescription.  It even goes so far as to tell me, paraphrasing: "You are all set!  You will be able to pick up your prescription of Clonazepam tomorrow at 11am (when I get home from work)"  I could prove all this with screenshots and my script bottle... Noone bothered to call me and tell me this was impossible, that it was too early.  Maybe it's fine for non scheduled meds to pick up 5 days early?  I don't know. 

 

So I'm in this kind of accidental cold turkey withdrawal, psyched and I think this is the best frame of mind I've ever been in regarding beginning the taper.  The last 2 times I say 'Oh I'll just take a few extra that first day so I can feel better quicker' and this time I'm not even thinking that way.  I'm thinking: Taper plan.  That's -it-.  I'll deal with what's to come with the taper, but there will be no days where I break the rules unless my tolerance level will essentially require me to go with 2mg per day, at which point I will spend the extra $200 to talk it over with my doctor. 

 

So can anyone shed any light on why I'd get two different opinions and two different outcomes on getting my script filled sometimes 28 days after last fill and sometimes 27 days?  Does the exact time of fill or pickup have anything to do with it?  Was the pharmacy tech just being lazy and probably thinking I'm just your bog standard drug addict looking for his fix when she refused to tell me was the earliest date and time I could get my script filled and to set that up for me? It seems like those are standard things for me.  I work at 1am in the morning.  I could pick up my script at midnight and make it in for my shift no problem if they had it ready for me when I stopped by.

 

I hope this sort of daily and semi daily posting isn't getting people bored and unconcerned with my situation, but it is very helpful for me to write out my thoughts so I can re-read them them later on to see what sort of hellish anxiety and feeling poorly is getting to me.

 

Once again, thanks for listening.  I wish I could find an NA meeting that met near me during the times that I am awake, but my work schedule (1am to 11am) requires me to get my sleep pretty much during the day.  Perhaps I can find something around noon in my area.  But then again... Klonipin... anxiety... etc..  I do want help though.  I need it.  I will ruin my life and I am a  father, and I can't leave this world to my daughter alone, even though all of my drug habits have begun because her mother blindsided me in about the worst way anyone could imagine and the only relief I could find was through meds.  10 years later (not all of them on meds) I still wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

 

Thanks again for reading: Kdawg 

 

 

 

 

Day 9 Pre Taper

 

Spirits are okay today.  At the best, I can get my Klonipin script filled tonight and start on the iron-clad steel fisted will of the gods taper tonight.  At the worst, I have to keep doing horrible things to my body by filling up with Xanax and worse options (at 1.5mg, which is my goal for the beginning of the taper.) 

 

I had a bomb drop on me today, my Dad is very likely to lose his job, and even though I am 36 years old, I rent a room off of his estate.  I never saw my father as a child.  But he may have to move out west (we live in Jersey) to keep the standard of living he is used to.  I have grown to absolutely love living with my father as an adult.  He took me in after my divorce ten years ago.  Money was horrifically tight and he allowed me to stay rent free until I found a job that could pay more for the new expenses I was accruing (child support/alimony/health insurance).  My goal with my wife and I was to let me be a student and she would take care of the bills now while I kept my eyes on a bigger prize, an MBA from a decent state college.  She left halfway through the plan, and I was left with just a part time job.

 

Now, my father has a good chance to be leaving within a year.  I love my dad and while he has no idea I am going through what I am going through, he has taught me all the things I needed to know about adulthood that a male child living with his mother had a hard time learning.  My mother took care of my needs but in a very fearful way.  It was a hard way to grow up, and my father instilled a certain confidence in my responsibility side of life that I never had before.  Regardless of all of the issues, and borrowing money (and always paying it back), I built an excellent credit score and a certain amount of strength in my ability to keep myself alive.  My anxiety will now greatly increase, sadly, because my father leaving will be my last remaining family member other than my daughter and (we still consider each other family, it's a strange situation) my ex-wife.  But I must stay strong.  I have approximately a year to rid myself of this disease of addiction.  I hope I can transform what was previously a weakness (fear, stress, anxiety) into an inspiration.  It would be very hard to maintain this klonipin addiction and also pay a new, higher cost of living and also my monthly $200 visits to my phychiatrist that is essentially a script writer.  I'm not good at talking about myself and he's not good at (or doesn't seem to care too much) about talking about getting a plan together for fixing this anxiety problem. 

 

Either one or two more days until operation, kick the hell out of Klonipin goes into effect.  I am excited but also extremely nervous.  I believe I am motivated even more than ever to be rid of this.  I hope I can make some friends here that can help me stay on the path. 

 

I feel okay, I know I can make it until my script is filled.  36 hours is nothing.  I have 2.5mg of Xanax left.  It will be plenty.  I will sleep like the dead.  I have that constantly temperature issue with skulls and spiders and very real illusions and hallucinations popping out at me all the time. I can't watch certain parts of movies right now.  My god I wish my doctor told me about this.  And when I told him it was time for help, I wish he did more than pull out the script pad and then talk about a mutual hobby we have (tennis).

 

I expected something a lot different from the drug, I expected something a lot different from the psychiatry system in general.

 

As soon as I start getting my taper going, I am going to work on getting my insurance company to work on some kind of counselor that works for me.  I pray that I can find something that will help.

 

- Kdawg

Day 10 Pre-Taper

 

This will be the worst of it, I hope.  I haven't taken a Klonipin in about a week so I am thinking, and maybe if someone can chime in, I can start at 1.25mg instead of 1.5?

 

It seems like my particular situation is kind of rare. Why rare?  No other troublesome issues such as GI issues or anything else except for the terrible sleep difficulties, the anxiety, the unwillingness to do ANYTHING except for read information about Benzos which makes me completely obsess.  I took Kpins on a huge spike/almost nothing the next day.  I have not really ever taken them at a standard physician prescribed rate. 

 

I have ordered the necessary ingredients for a Titration style taper from Amazon and a marble mortar and pestle cost around $10, and the Volumetric container for another $10.  They will arrive in a few days and I will immediately start Titrating when they arrive.  I believe the ritual of preparing and taking doses in that way will create a psychological routine for my brain to expect something different than reaching into a bottle and grabbing a pill (or a handfull).

 

Anyway, I am scared.  I don't know if I can do it, but this is the most determined I have ever been.  Please if you are reading this, just one good vibe... send it to the man in Jersey who wants to defeat this inner beast.  I have prepared everything to the greatest extent that I possibly can.  I will either receive the K-pins in a few hours, later in the morning, or after midnight tonight (from a 24 hour store).

 

I am an amateur historian and I am going to try and summon the courage and iron will of the soldiers that fought for all countries in any time period.  This is MY hardest personal battle and I am praying that this is my Gettysburg.  My turning point. 

 

Thank you for reading,

Kdawg

Day 1 and 2 of Klonipin Taper Plan

 

The plan went off horribly. I took about 7mg of Klonipin the first day and 5 today.  They aren't helping much either.  I got off on the wrong foot but I can still right the ship. I didn't start off as badly as I had the last 2 months. That's a plus.

 

I called up an ex girlfriend (the mother of my daughter) and even my daughter and told them of the problems I was going through.  They are good people.  Even though I'm not in my ex's life anymore, she said she would be happy to be in my support team.  And my daughter is too young to understand, but knowing that people love you make you stronger inside.  I immediately got on the treadmill and did about a 45 minute run to get the juices flowing, and I now have a cup of tea here that I'm sipping while I wait for my work uniform to be done in the wash.  I will take a good sized shower while my work clothes dry and then hit up the sack for a few hours of sleep before work. 

 

I guess I'll come out and judge the success of my taper plan on a graded scale:

 

Day 1:F

Day 2:D+  The plus is because I managed to make some important connections and remind myself why I'm fighting to rid this drug from my life.  I'm hoping the holidays do a service to me in the same manner. 

 

I can steer this ship correctly, and what I think is happening is that Xanax I was taking is leaving my system and I am feeling worse than I normal should have.  I will even out within a few days and I should be able to steel myself for the proper dosage a day.

 

The next 3 days should be cakewalks as they are work days and I won't even have time to take more Kpins than I should.  I'll be fine for those days.  I may need to take a hydroxazine when I get home to sleep, but those days are typically the easiest possible to get through.

 

Thank you for listening.  A support team is critical.

 

Thank you for listening,

Kdawg

Day 3 Taper  Okay, it wasn't as easy to keep a .5 mg Klon for the day as I thought it would be.  I am constantly having temperature issues with either too hot or too cold.

 

Other than that, I did make it through with only the one .5 Klonipin.  I have an appointment with my Phych and I'm going to ask him if it's better to take less on days that I think that I can or if I should keep a steady dose all the time in my system.  One one hand, less total drug in my system, on the other, a more even keel droppage.

 

I think that part of my problem is that once I take Klonipin to a certain level and it makes me feel good, I have less of an ability to resist taking more to continue that feeling. 

 

It's easier to have that slight edge to resist it.  I know that sounds crazy, but it's definitely true.

 

In any case, day 3 over with, grade: B.  Success with thoughts of going back.

 

Day 4 Taper Beginning Woke up after 4 hours with my skin on fire.  I suspect the Xanax is working it's way out and Gaba is bending me over a barrel.  Ended up taking 3mg Kpin to manage the day.  That's 1.5 more than my normal dose.  So day 3 was a failure, and after such a good start too.  I need time to right this ship, and one day at a time that is.

 

Ups and downs I've had, unlike what it seems other posters have had.  It's awful.  The worst part is lack of sleep, and lack of a way to make the pain go away for just a little while.  Only when I sleep does that happen.  After the 3 mg (the lowest amount I think I could take to get me back to sleep so I can be effective for work) I have to promise myself no more doses today. 

 

Day 4 synopsis:  I am clearly NOT following what I'd hoped I'd be able to.  My body is not letting me do the things that I need to do AND maintain an absolutely essential high energy and focus at my job unless the drug is in my system.  I have a docs appointment Tuesday and the 10th, I'm going to ask them both of their opinions on what my plan is to be, and use both opinions as a way to come to a better conclusion.  Day 4 (beginning of day 4 at that) has been a disaster.  My support group isn't around, I have noone to talk to, noone to help me whittle away the hours in distraction. (that I think is the key), to have a support system that can come over and center you.  Maybe I'll text some people.

 

Thanks for reading:

Kdawg

 

Day 4 (Still beginning)

 

So I know i've been posting a lot, and have had a lot of questions that have gone unanswered, and I think i've been making a serious mistake by keeping uneven levels of Klonipin in my bloodstream day to day.  I originally thought that by having a lower amount of Klonipin total in my system would make a taper easier, but I am starting to believe that a more even amount of klonipin, even taking my proper dose during a work day when I don't feel I need it as much, is key to having less of those spiky days where I feel a blowup of anxiety and feel the need to take more than prescribed for that day. 

 

This might just be completely bog standard knowledge, but I'm very dumb.

 

So to BenzoBuddies (and two docs I'll be seeing in the next 2 days):  Same dose every day no matter what?  Take less if you think you can?

 

Is there any consensus?

 

 

KDawg,

 

I'm not an expert by any means, but I would try to keep your doses even on a daily basis, level out and slowly taper.

 

Just my input, maybe others will chime in.

 

All The Best!!

 

TRY

Hi there

 

I hope you are doing well.

 

I think by jumping your doses all over the place you may be in effect producing the kindling experience which will make your final taper far more painful.

 

I know it's hard but you need to choose a dose - maybe one that isn't too low to start with, then reduce gradually.

 

I understand its hard, I have an addicts nature myself, but the more you kindle the more you risk PAWS. Joining NA would be beneficial and I understand that's hard due to your work hours, but being in such a large city there will be midday meetings and you could just commit on your days off (they are the days you say you struggle with the most). AA also understands the nature of addiction so if the NA resources are limited you could look into joining there instead.

 

I don't want to sound preachy and I am not being judgemental, if you need support or a friend feel free to PM me anytime.

Day 4 (Still beginning)

 

So I know i've been posting a lot, and have had a lot of questions that have gone unanswered, and I think i've been making a serious mistake by keeping uneven levels of Klonipin in my bloodstream day to day.  I originally thought that by having a lower amount of Klonipin total in my system would make a taper easier, but I am starting to believe that a more even amount of klonipin, even taking my proper dose during a work day when I don't feel I need it as much, is key to having less of those spiky days where I feel a blowup of anxiety and feel the need to take more than prescribed for that day. 

 

This might just be completely bog standard knowledge, but I'm very dumb.

 

So to BenzoBuddies (and two docs I'll be seeing in the next 2 days):  Same dose every day no matter what?  Take less if you think you can?

 

Is there any consensus?

 

I really don't think you will find many at all that would advise you to jump around.  Keep your dose steady.

I am by no means an expert either but all your doing is confusing your brain further,,xanax an k,,your brain needs to be stabilized before you do anything,,,I hope you can devise a good plan and once and for all get through,,your to young to be going through this,,steph

How's it going out there man? I wanted to say, I enjoy reading your journal!! You have an update on how you're doing? Hope you're well!

 

-runner

I too enjoy reading your journal. Keep trying - you can do it

Taper Plan Day 5-8  Hi folks! I didn't think anyone was reading so I started writing in a journal instead.  I just happened to check the forums and noticed that people actually are and I am not just writing to myself on the internet.  It's great to hear about that!

 

So here's what happened in the meantime and I have some important info to people that might have been bouncing doses around like me.

 

I went to see my doctor and I told him about what I was doing, going from 1.5 to .25 to 3 to 5 to .25x3 days and stuff like that and I just saw the look in his eyes.  I knew right then that I was a complete idiot.  How could I think this was a good idea?  I was lowering my dose and my body was freaking out and I was overcompensating to feel right again.  So stupid. 

 

So he suggested we up my dose for a month, so I can get used to taking doses exactly the same every day and it would be easier on me.  I was grateful he suggested it as I was thinking this myself.  I hate the end-of-month anxiety that comes with coming close to the end of your doses.  My doctor isn't very communicative, doesn't confirm appointments, and is impossible to contact mid-appointment.  So the anxiety level when appointment time comes around is very high. 

 

The only problem is that he made a mistake.  I was taking 3 .5 mg a month as a script and he accidently wrote the script for 4 1mg pills per month which doubled my dosage+.  I didn't notice until I got to the pharmacy and filled the script that my pills were a different color, and then looked and saw I have a huge amount of dosage. 

 

I told my support people (friends and such) this, and they were scared for me.  Was I going to give into temptation and go b***s out?  Actually, no.  It helped.  It calms me down knowing I have options.  If my doctor doesn't show up (which is a bit of an irrational fear, but that's what these things do to you) I can stay at my proper dose until I find an alternative.  I haven't messed up since.  I've been sticking to my taper plan and feeling fine.  The anxiety from worrying about anxiety is gone, and to me, that's a huge thing.  I have way more pills than I need and I'm going to keep it that way. 

 

The last 3 days I've slept fine, (8 hours at least) kept to my normal schedule, and have been exercising and interested in cooking and eating well.  Things are looking up.

 

I've purchased everything I need for titration when it comes to start dropping the dose and I'm not worried at all (it IS a few weeks away), but I'll be using that method when it's time. 

 

So here is the moral of the story.  If you are on a taper plan, DONT BE AN IDIOT AND CHANGE IT JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL OK.  Stick to your plan.  You know your body.  You can't expect your body to heal when you are bouncing your doses all over the place like a rollercoaster. 

 

Thank you for reading, and I will definitely add you in pm and talk with you!

Kdawg

Klonipin Taper Plan Day 9  Smooth sailing so far.  No messups, still taking the proper dosage.  I love this safety net of extra pills in case of a scheduling mess up or anything else that could happen.  I have no worries about benzos, even the tapering.  I have my titration stuff ready and I'm going to go all out with this plan.  I have another few weeks to go (actually it falls on New Years Day for my first drop) and stabilizing my dosage without pingponging is the plan for now.  I may start updating every few days instead of every day since things are fairly stable for now. 

 

Thanks for reading,

Kdawg