Dying

I feel like I am dying. Day 8 with maybe an hour or two sleep in all that time. OTC aids don't work. Don't know what to do. Tried Trazadone one night and it didn't work. This feels like permanent brain damage. I can't go on like this anymore. Saw a naturopathic doc, two remedies she gave me have done nothing. I am going to go insane and end up drugged in a nursing home. How can I not be sleepy after no sleep for 8 days. Even took a Benadryl this morning and lay down  and that did nothing. I am desperate and don't know where to turn for help.

When I jumped, almost nothing OTC or prescribed gave me sleep.  I tried trazadone.  Made me really groggy, but no sleep (and it gave me nasty headaches).  I tried benadryl.  Sometimes I'd fall asleep, but I wouldn't stay asleep for long.  I tried doxy (Unisom).  It worked better for me than benadryl, but not well.  Melatonin did nothing.  Herbal remedies did nothing.  They are very weak compared with benzos, and most target GABA-A (which has already been compromised by using the benzos). 

 

Gabapentin did help to prolong my sleep, but it didn't put me to sleep very well.  Cannabis did help to get me to fall asleep and also prolonged my sleep, but it's not a good match for everybody as it may cause anxiety.

 

Ultimately, I got my sleep back from going cold turkey for all sleeping aids.  It definitely sucked for a while (about 8-10 days if I recall and this was several months after being free from benzos).  It also took some discipline.  I knew that I could walk out to the garage, light one up and sleep for hours, but the better path (for me) was to let my brain get free from all foreign sleep meds.

This severe insomnia has been going on since December when I hit tolerance on the benzos, and continued throughout my taper and now post-taper.

 

I had been trying various sleep aids during this time (mostly OTC stuff--Benadryl, Unisom, melatonin, but I did also try Trazadone, Flexeril, and Rozerem), but gave everything up a month ago. After four days of no sleep aids (and four days after having my first session of energy work and massage) I started sleeping--4 hours, 3 hours, 5 hours!--on my own. This lasted for a couple of weeks. Then I added acupuncture to the mix and the sleeping stopped. I had two sessions of acupuncture and decided to quit it...it seemed to be revving me up. Eight days since my last acupuncture session and I can't sleep.

 

Why am I not yawning? Why do I not have that normal tired, sleepy feeling like I did before benzo use when I missed out on a night of sleep (like if one of the kids was sick and I was up all night with them...the next day I would nap!).

 

How are we supposed to go on? What if this takes two years to resolve?

 

I HATE that this *hit is on the market...think of all the suffering that would have been avoided if this poison had never been brought to market.

 

Thank you for replying to me, bads...I feel so alone in this...especially when it's 2 am and the whole household is asleep.

 

Misty

I remember seeing you post about the acupuncture treatment and that your sleep declined after that.  So apparently something about the acupuncture didn't work for you, but what???  This is way out of my knowledge base.  Have you talked with the acupuncturist? 

I did talk to the acupuncturist. I asked her if the treatment could be stimulating, and she said yes. She was trying to treat the depression, even though I told her I had horrible insomnia (that's one of the main reasons for the depression.) I was so ticked off...the last thing I need is stimulation--I am too awake already!!!

 

Needless to say, I have stopped going to her for treatment, and am continuing with the energy work and massage that helped me to finally get some sleep.

Misty, i am right there with you. Cannot sleep..it alludes me. I can no longer drive anywhere..have tried just about everything to sleep.

I am not yawning either!! This has to get better, can it get any worse?

trying the Fisher Wallace stimulator as soon as it arrives on my doorstep!

Im there also and have been for almost a year now. Zero sleep to 3-4 hrs max. I can not function at all. I became tolerant to all OTC aids and melatonin, i even started taking them both and that didnt help. I gave up and now just try to sleep without anything. If i sleep i sleep if i dont i dont. Its terrible.

so, i think this is our life for a bit! This has got to pass!!! Praying for all of us that we get some much needed sleep. I hate to say this...but, has anyone slipped and taken a benzo for sleep during this time?

I need to admit that I have.

What are we to do??

I slept terribly for two months after c/t. Third month was better, but went through a lot of ups and downs where I'd sleep hard for a few days and then would not do so well for a few days. So I think that may be typical with recovery to see saw back and forth some. It's tough, but I do like Groove said and just  give up struggling to sleep. Now at 5 months off I haven't had a sleepless night in about 6 weeks. I've had a few where I got around 3 or 4 still, but they are becoming less and less. Hope you get some good sleep soon.

I have struggled with lack of sleep as well.

 

I don't like to take anything night after night for fear that I will become dependent on it.

 

So - - -

Benadryl - - once or twice a week

 

followed by

 

Advil pm (1/2 pill) once a week or so

 

Melatonin does not work for me.

 

Had major problems with Trazadone 3 wks ago. I experienced loss of balance. While this is a common side effect, it scared me to no end. AND I was using my father's cane to move around the household. Sheesh.

 

So . . . "back to the drawing board". What am I going to do?

 

I watch my diet; Try to avoid caffeine and high sodium foods -- yadda yadda.

 

Log onto Benzobuddies for help and reassurance.

 

How frustrating to not be able to sleep! Sleep is a basic need for all humans and animals, for that matter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I only slept about 2 hours a night for a whole year. It actually did not cause me any problems other than worrying about what problems it might cause.

 

I think one of the best things you could do is to try to be okay with just getting 2 hours of sleep.

 

I remember that the fear of not sleeping was actually keeping me awake. If you could reduce this fear  by being OK with little sleep you have a better chance of sleeping.

I am not even gettin two hours a night. It's zero hours or micro sleeps which are just a minute here or there. I cannot function to handle my day-to-day responsibilities. It is so hard to believe that this will work itself out. My naturopathic doc had me start 5htp. Took 50 mg, did nothing. Took 100 mg last night, nothing. She told me to go up to 200 mg tonight. Tempted to just stop it. When I was getting some sleep a month ago I wasn't taking anything.

Misty -

Interesting! I did not yawn for over a year and a half after I went cold turkey. I also did not sleep much more than 3 hours a night for well over a year. I, too, tried several prescription drugs and they didn't work. Neither did non-prescription things. I finally realized that my poor sleep wasn't going to kill me. I accepted it as the result of being on benzos for far too long. By accepting these things, it took away much of the anxiety I had about not sleeping. And - it may be a coincidence - but I started sleeping a bit more after I had done this. Now I get from 5-7 hours a night, and while not very restful, with many wake ups, its a lot better than before. I can cope with it.

You are the only other person Ive "met" who stopped yawning, too.

east

Misty -

Interesting! I did not yawn for over a year and a half after I went cold turkey. I also did not sleep much more than 3 hours a night for well over a year. I, too, tried several prescription drugs and they didn't work. Neither did non-prescription things. I finally realized that my poor sleep wasn't going to kill me. I accepted it as the result of being on benzos for far too long. By accepting these things, it took away much of the anxiety I had about not sleeping. And - it may be a coincidence - but I started sleeping a bit more after I had done this. Now I get from 5-7 hours a night, and while not very restful, with many wake ups, its a lot better than before. I can cope with it.

You are the only other person Ive "met" who stopped yawning, too.

east

 

Funny east:

 

I never yawned on my regular dose of benzos for 10 years. Not once. Now they I am getting down in my dose, I have begun to yawn and I love it!

I am right there with you.  I have tried OTC sleep aids, warm baths, counting backwards by 3s from 300.  I am feeling miserable and am sitting here at 0330 with no one to talk to.  I came off 2 mg Ativan tapered off in 21 days.  Last dose 10/15.  I do not know how I am going to make it

I may have to break down and take Lunesta. I am twelve days with nothing but a micro sleep here or there. I can't function. I don't want to become dependent on a Z drug, but what do you do when NOTHING else is working?

I was on xanax for 7-8 years for sleep. When I jumped it took me about 1.5 years to get normal sleep. I now sleep 7 to 8 hrs with no sleep aids. It takes time.  Do not chase sleep with pills or magic remedies.  Limit ur time time in bed.  If u r wide awake get out of bed and chill out in another room.  These things work. They didn't work at first but works every time now.  It takes time. 

I was on xanax for 7-8 years for sleep. When I jumped it took me about 1.5 years to get normal sleep. I now sleep 7 to 8 hrs with no sleep aids. It takes time.  Do not chase sleep with pills or magic remedies.  Limit ur time time in bed.  If u r wide awake get out of bed and chill out in another room.  These things work. They didn't work at first but works every time now.  It takes time.

 

I agree completely!  Pills are not the answer.

But what do you do when the insomnia is at the point where it's dangerous?

Dangerous??  I often felt really crappy when I didn't sleep, but I never felt as though my life/health was threatened.  Probably not a good idea to do long drives in a car if you feel really sleepy.  Same for operating heavy machinery, but that warning also accompanies benzo and sleeping pill use. 

 

Hard as it may seem, the best course that I can think of is to relax and let sleep come naturally.  It will come back, but it takes time.

Misty, you need to do what you must to break this cycle. If taking lunesta for one night will help..then do it.

I am right there with you!!!

Give your lunesta script to a loved one and only allow them to give you 1 pill every 6 nights.

It may not even help...but, yes..you need to sleep.

 

So I went to see a psychiatrist at the VA regarding my withdrawal symptoms.  They tapered me off of Avitan in 3 weeks after taking 2 mg for over 6 years.  My last dose was last Wednesday. She did not want to put me back on Avian to taper over a longer period.  She prescribed hydroxyzine 50 mg at bedtime along with mirtazapine 15 mg. Both of these meds have antihistamine characteristics and I know that Benadryl really dries my mucous membranes on a half dose.  Sigh....I will try it and see of it helps.

 

This forum is amazing.  It is reassuring that I am not alone and it is reassuring to reads progresses and success stories.  Thank you everyone.

Not sleeping much wont kill you, so Im not sure what you mean by dangerous. I agree with badsocref - if you know youre impaired (from lack of sleep, alcohol or benzos, or whatever-) don't drive or use heavy machinery. Don't put yourself in situations where you need sharp reflexes, in other words.

 

The problem with taking the Lunesta is that it could easily become a habit.....cant sleep, so reach for the pill. That's the kind of thinking that got a lot of us in troubles with benzos. Lunesta isn't technically a benzo but it acts like one, and has a withdrawal like one.

 

I do understand how desperate you feel. I have been there many, many times. I, too, tried a couple of prescription meds, and luckily, none of them worked. I know how I am, and if one had worked, I would have had a hard time stopping it. I regret having given in to my fear of insomnia, quite frankly.

east

I am 31 weeks out. Never feel sleepy. Brain constantly feels AWAKE. Even if I was getting a few hours a night, I could cope. But it's literally a minute here or there, micro sleeps. By dangerous I mean what this does to our health long term. And I have to drive most days: the nearest stores are about 7 miles away.

Misty93:

 

It sounds like things have crossed a line for you with sleep (or lack thereof).

 

When I broke down in 2010, I didn't sleep for 8 days--same as you.  I know what you mean when you say you are not sleeping:  you are literally not sleeping.  I also tried acupuncture at that time and it made the anxious/terror-state I was in worse; definitely stimulating.

 

I was, for better or for worse, put on Zyprexa to shut it all down.  That is hard core--definitely not advocating it, but nothing else worked.

 

For me, there was no option but to take something.  I couldn't function.  It sounds like you are at that limit.

 

I think if you go down the med route there may be better choices than Lunesta.  It is worth investigating, in my opinion, because things sound desperate for you.

 

I know a lot of people here are anti-med, and philosophically I am right there with them.  But I have been in your shoes: it is excruciating to literally stop sleeping and seems impossible that our bodies could survive.  It came down to functionality for me and the cortisol shooting through my body was just not letting up.

 

I support whatever decision you make around a med to help this.  It is scary when nothing "touches" sleep.

Mainly I just wanted to let you know I have been where you are and it SUCKS.  I am sorry you are going through it.