Doc lets me do as I please... now what?!?! (Liquid V help... please!)

I hesitate to even post in here because I haven't been that great of a benzo-buddy, i.e.: I haven't been much of a cheerleader for others, only using this board to help myself and for that I am sorry. I really empathize with all of your struggles and while I am definitely having my own, I feel like I'm in a bit of a place of privilege in that I don't have in co-occurring medical conditions. I simply have a 13+ year long benzo addiction. This place I've gotten myself into is ALL MY FAULT, I knew what I was getting into when it was mis-prescribed for me and therefore I often feel like I don't deserve other's help but I am a little stuck and would do ANYTHING to get some feedback and advice. I have a great Dr in that he'll do/prescribe any amount of anything I want, but at the same time he's like: "you're on your own, dude, figure out a plan and I'll write the scripts".

I'm down to 6mgs of V and have had hardly any symptoms during my 2 years of tapering from 60mgs V... just ramped up anxiety and social phobia and THE INABILITY TO LEARN (the most frustrating of all  for me).

Anyhow, like I said I am sort of in a place of privilege in that my doc will do what I ask and I'm thinking it would be wise to maybe switch to liquid V and do the daily titration but cannot find a schedule on here. That's really all I'm looking for is someone to point me in the direction of maybe a post or thread that deals with this subject.

Any help would be so appreciated. I'd also gladly be more active member of this group, I just don't feel comfortable giving advice to such personal situations so if anyone has ideas on how I could be a better Buddy, I'm all ears and actions!

Thanks again in advance. Please help me find good info on switching to liquid V.

Thank you for listening and helping each other so much, this is quite an amazing community.

xx, Funk_Ills

I honestly think it is a great situation that your doc is so hands off yet will write the scripts.  That's perfect for benzo tapering in my book.

Here is an example of a daily taper method.  There is no schedule, nor should there be.  You need to let symptoms guide you down.  At your dose, if it were me, once stabilized I'd begin by cutting .020mg per day and see how that goes for a few weeks.  Good luck and don't hesitate to ask more questions.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=97511.msg1248599#msg1248599

Wow SG57! Thank you for that link! Exactly what I was looking for. I am so inspired when I see 'Benzo Free!' in someone's signature. Thanks for still hanging around & helping others even though you seem to be out of the woods.

Like most folk's posts that I read here, I also experience the "cog-fog"... trying to figure out a path on my own can seem overwhelming. I have nobody in my life who knows ANYTHING about what I'm going through except my Dr and my appts with him last 10 minutes, once/month. He just asks what I want and writes a script. It can be good and bad... If I told him I wanted my next Rx to be for 60mgs V/day he would just write it, no questions asked. Seriously! Especially for a person with a history of addiction like myself, he can be dangerous! This forum is the only motivation outside of myself that is helping me get off this crud. Thank you Thank YOU THANK YOU ALL!

Hi funkills

I can't add anything to what SG has already said, only to say don't feel bad about not being as active as others are on BB. We are all deserving of help of BB, regardless of our individual situations, because we are all in the same benzo-boat. Mostly the advice that anyone gives is only based on their own experiences, and the day will come when you will be in a better positon to "pay it forward" too.

In response to Butam:

During my 12 years at 6 mgs, I honestly didn't pay attention to exactly how much I actually took daily until the last year when I decided I was done with it. Both my husband I were written essentially bottomless prescriptions of Xanax from a Doc at the methadone clinic we attended; for many years, I would just take a piece of a 2mg stick when I felt uncomfortable or anxious, there was never any need to regulate my intake due to the huge amount of Xanax in our house. When I got off methadone I started to really notice the inter-dose w/d's and started to monitor how much I was actually taking daily. It would generally range anywhere from 6-8 mgs/day.

I decided I wanted off Xanax and became very strict with my dosing, rather than just popping some whenever I felt I 'needed it'.

I started by breaking up 6mgs into 1mg doses and would take one every 3 hrs throughout the day. I set an alarm on my phone and was strict with my dosing schedule. Even if I didn't feel I needed it, I'd take it . Or if I wanted it before it was time I'd wait.

I then cut one of my doses into 1/2mg and stayed on the 3 hr schedule. Didn't even notice the change.

I then reduced another dose to 1/2 mg, stayed on my schedule and again, didn't notice a change.

I did this 2 more times, rather painlessly, before my doc would allow me to switch to Valium (started at 40mgs V).

Wow! Long answer to short question! Sorry about that.

Short answer: I was never really aware of how much I was taking during those 12 years but it averaged to about 6mgs day. Yes, I would increase as needed but was generally just popping pills without keeping track of my daily dose for most of that time.

I see your signature says you are on 6mgs/day. How's that going for you? Do you have a taper plan? Best of luck to you! I've been really really lucky in my taper. There's been some bumps but never enough to even make me miss one day of work.

All good I'm used to long replies/talking etc :; no wink emoticons.

Edited sig.