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Is this anxiety? What is this sensation?


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I have been having the following problem. I am 6 months benzo free. Been having this problem a long time now....

 

I have this awful feeling so often that I can only guess is anxiety. This state that I get in is not characterized by the "stereotypical" things like heart palpitations or hyperventilation.  What happens to me is that I feel inwardly very uncomfortable.  I get the strong urge to go and run away to a dark place where I can curl up in a ball and hide from everything. Most distressing is that I get this strange sensation in my head, where it feels like my brain is floating in water or that my head is full of water. It is really hard to think or do anything requiring my mental attention. It is hard to read a magazine, and typing a letter or going out in public is out of the question.  It is such an uncomfortable and scary feeling.  I feel blank, like a bumbling moron. Can't do anything. It is so awful.  I get this feeling when I am sitting at the table eating breakfast, when I am watching t.v... in other words I am not doing anything to provoke feeling anxious. I even got this feeling when walking around the lake with a friend... an activity that should be relaxing.

 

    Does anyone else have this feeling/sensation?

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I think this is combination of anxiety and w/d sxs- i go thru phases of the head - know just what you mean and you describe it well.  i get panic/anxiety with and without need to runaway andcurl up.  think our system is in overload andcant compute whats coming in - thats why you want dark quiet room - i give into that when bad.  i do get breaks from these now, but im 16mths off a cold turkey.

know you are not alone...

spring

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Spring,

 

It is almost like I feel my brain in my head. Like I am hyper aware of my brain, in my head, when I shouldn't be.  It just feels like something is terribly wrong.  I have even had an MRI done because I was so concerned by this persistent sensation that something was seriously wrong.  The MRI was fine.

 

Sometimes the sensation will subside for me as well, though it is not often.  In some ways I feel like I have gotten worse over these 6 months and in some ways better.  :'(

 

I can't imagine being at 16 months and still feeling so awful. I am so sorry Spring. :( I heard you were one of the people like me who are still having a hard time, though for some reason we never talk. ???

 

Have you considered any other medications to help? What about Buspar?

 

I hope things get better for us.  I am having such a hard time holding on. :'(

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This is anxiety, I would say based on the fact that I feel this way too, but you might want to get checked out by the doc if you need to be sure. If anything it will give you piece of mind.

 

 

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CC, I get something very similiar. Mine is anxiety, but mine also seems to be mixed with sadness and unhappiness. It's the worst feeling I have ever had in my life.  This hit me at about five months off the Klonopin and it scared me to death. I feel that at least for me, it was me "waking up" finally after being somewhat numbed by the benzo. For me, it was the worst part of my taper. I am not sure if we are talking about the same thing, but just thought I would let you know that I got something maybe like what you have, at five months off.  :)
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Hi CC,

 

Sorry to hear you feel so bad.  It does sound like anxiety - which as you probably know - has no rhyme or reason to it.  It just is.  From the things that I read about benzos your system is now in hyper-awareness and it will take time - no one cuz everyone is different - to normalize

My thoughts are with you :smitten::hug:

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Thank you Cristy.  I read it.  You really have a knack for describing the awful feelings that we have been experiencing.  The whole time I read your message I kept knowing exactly what you meant.  Thank you for sharing that with me, it was comforting to hear someone else recall dealing with these very feelings in their own life. 

You should post your message to me on the anxiety board or the general withdrawal board.  I think a lot of people would find comfort in your descriptions and knowing that they are not alone.  You have such a knack for putting into words the sensations and feelings we experience that are very hard to describe.

 

I hope I can write you a personal message back soon.  :smitten:

 

 

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Hang in there cc - this is absolute hell, but better times will come - I have had some breaks from things.  thinking of you and backing you all the way

spring xx

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I have decided that it is in my best interest to abstain from any support sites related to benzodiazepines, anti-depressants, or tinnitus for 2 months.  This commitment also extends to talking about these subjects via emails as well.  If I have been corresponding with you through email please remember that my sudden disappearance has nothing to do with you!  And furthermore I apologize that we must stop communication abruptly.  Please know though that this lapse of communication will not be forever.

 

I have made this commitment to myself because I have come to realize that I am using sites of this nature to neutralize obsessions that I am having regarding the above subjects. I have also come to believe that this behavior is hindering me instead of helping me.

 

Please know that my decision to abstain from using this site for 2 months is not the result of anything that a member here did or did not do or that a member has said. In fact, I have found the support of members at this site to be wonderful and am very thankful for the contact I have had with all individuals here.

 

You can assist me in this commitment by reminding me of it should I falter and post something. You may also assist me by not encouraging me with any replies if I should falter and post something.

 

I hope that everyone here will support me in my desire. Don't forget about me though! I don't plan on never posting again, but for now I am going to abstain for 2 months.

 

Maybe I will return with good news.  :)

 

Sincerely,

- michelle <3

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  • 2 months later...

I have been having the following problem. I am 6 months benzo free. Been having this problem a long time now....

 

I have this awful feeling so often that I can only guess is anxiety. This state that I get in is not characterized by the "stereotypical" things like heart palpitations or hyperventilation.  What happens to me is that I feel inwardly very uncomfortable.  I get the strong urge to go and run away to a dark place where I can curl up in a ball and hide from everything. Most distressing is that I get this strange sensation in my head, where it feels like my brain is floating in water or that my head is full of water. It is really hard to think or do anything requiring my mental attention. It is hard to read a magazine, and typing a letter or going out in public is out of the question.  It is such an uncomfortable and scary feeling.  I feel blank, like a bumbling moron. Can't do anything. It is so awful.  I get this feeling when I am sitting at the table eating breakfast, when I am watching t.v... in other words I am not doing anything to provoke feeling anxious. I even got this feeling when walking around the lake with a friend... an activity that should be relaxing.

 

 

    Does anyone else have this feeling/sensation?

 

I get it all the time!!!

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Hey, CC...It's been two months!  ;)

 

I hope you're doing well. Thinking about you, and still praying for you, too!  :smitten:

 

Love,

Kimba

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I get this too. I hope the leaving of the computer has helped you CC and am very very curious to know how you are doing now. I sure hope it's better. I find that although I'm getting so much support here, I also get fearful from those who have done the c/t and seem to be in this for such a long period of time, hence wondering if you are better :smitten:
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CC -

 

Bingo. Reading people's worst experiences from these kinds of sites can cause you to imagine and worry more. 

 

If your symtoms are persisting, have a full neurological work-up but really there is little benefit that can come from continually seeing, "OMG! It's been 2 1/2 years now with no let up. OMG!!" :)

 

You're smart to spot that osmotic effect, and to STAY AWAY from what you know is deliterious to you.

 

Best,

Ten

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  • 3 weeks later...
I could not agree with you more.  Since anxiety and its symptoms no doubt are real and take some many forms physically and mentally the power of suggestion has been inordinately difficult for me.  I had no ringing in my ears during my taper or for the almost 4 months being xanax free just a lot of head congestion, sinus symptoms, and ear popping.  Suddenly out of the blue after reading so much about tinnitus I  had ringing in my ears. Granted this could be all caused by withdrawal, it is well documented that it happens, yet I can't help but think that I focused so much on this that I got it.  Have I become a hypochondriac because the symptoms are so widespread and variable during this period of GABA readjustment.  Anyone else have similar thoughts or am I out there by myself?
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I was extremely grateful for this site.  No power of suggestion for me.  I read the Ashton Manual and knew what to expect so when a new symptom cropped up I just went with the flow.

 

Patty  xo

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I know that if I hadn't had the list I would have beelined to the ER a dozen times by now!  But you're right, the power of suggestion is very strong.

 

I got tinnitus after taking 4mg of Ativan and I didn't know it was a symptom until I looked it up afterwards.  A doctor stressed to me that it's important not to rely too heavily on all the sites because they really can exacerbate your condition.  (One tinnitus site I went on actually said something like "don't read this site, it makes tinnitus worse")!!

 

I've just gotten to the point where if something comes up I just attribute it to w/d syndrome. I don't bother looking at the list. When I realized that half my s/x were actually anxiety the intensity of those symptoms, as well as my emotional anxiety, reduced considerably.

 

Unfortunately, tinnitus is not a symptom of anxiety.

 

ginger1222

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I have not found I have developed any more s/x's from reading others stories as I had them all before I read the Ashtons Manual (which was where I realised it wasn't just me) and then the panic was relieved. And then finding BB's and hearing other's stories I became more relaxed with all I've been going thru. I do however find with reading other's threads that I start to worry now about the "how long" factor being in w/d for so long. This is the one fear I'm not able to shake off and for that reason I'm considering taking a break from internet.
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  • 1 month later...
:sick:Hi critter cuddler,i know exactly what you mean,i have it all the time,it's horrible i kn ow,but eventually it will get better,i can't even go for a walk it gets so bad,hang in there it will get better.      Kristine
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