Depression at an All Time High

Every day my depression is getting worse.  I feel more and more alone.  No one understands what I am dealing with.  My family ignores me, they are tired of my crying and in ability to function.  I've lost all my friends, husband and slowly my college age children.

 

Since I've started to forced direct c/o from A to Klonopin it's gotten worse.  Everyday since starting the c/o it gets worse and worse with each passing day.  SSRI's don't work. 

 

Between my deep depression and anxiety I can't take it anymore.

 

 

Any suggestions how to cope?  I've tried CBT that didn't help.  My psych made me feel worse.

 

 

Try

 

 

I'm so sorry, Trying. There is a thread under "substitution titration plans" where user formywifeandkids talks about curcumin, which can sometimes apparently be helpful, though I have not tried it. Apparently john kabat zinn also has mindfulness meditation and books for depression but I know it's hard to focus on any of that, especially when you feel alone. I've seen klonopin make many here depressed, so that may be adding to your depression as well as feeling maybe some withdrawal effects. Some people take walks or baths to help distract but I know all too well that it's hard to do anything when depressed. I hope you feel better soon.

My husband was extremely depressed this last winter. All is gone now and what helped, I think, it is:

- getting lower and lower with the tapper

- lot of sun since the spring started.

 

Also he started taking inositol up to 18 gr per day ( split in 3 doses).

Nervgirl - thank you for taking the time to reply.  I need all the help I can get.  You have good suggestions, I will definitely give them a try. 

 

Darkshadow - thank you for taking the time to reply.  I always thought depression was more of a female issue.  I see there is hope for me. 

 

 

 

Take Care.  I appreciate the support.

 

Try

We were taught that depression was a female thing only. Men dont talk about it so it stay hidden more often than not.

 

Many men also suffer from depression, we know that now. My neighbor is terribly depressed also, hes a male.

 

What a pair we are him and I. He is at least functional though, very busy etc...he isnt in twd or suffering from benzo poisoning though

 

Hang in there Try, I wish the best for you, and pray the depression lifts when we jump off this crap.

 

 

Darkshadow - thank you for taking the time to reply.  I always thought depression was more of a female issue.  I see there is hope for me.

 

There is also hope.

Depression as a woman issue ... There is some truth in it thinking about our hormonal fluctuations. I know that I am always prone to crying at certain moments during my cycle but there are also additional causes. I cried a lot during the last years and it was because the miserable situation we were in and sometimes the hormone were just an enabler.

In your case as my husband's you add the damn benzo WD.

The worse was in resistance WD and first half of his tapper.

 

You will get better!

Did you have the major depression while on Ativan?  Before I crossed to Valium, I did not have major depression on Ativan.  I was bummed about the whole weaning thing, but that was more of a rational thought process, like, "Boy this stinks, I wish I didn't have to do this."  That is different from depression, in my opinion.  For me, depression is a physical feeling.  I did not have it on Ativan.  That is why I switched BACK to Ativan after the failed c/o to Valium.  Valium gave me a physcial/chemical depression.  I don't know for sure, but that may be happening to you with the Klonopin.  Once I went back on the Ativan, I felt so much better and was able to continue with my taper.  Now, I'll get pretty depressed for about 3-4 days after a cut, but then it lifts until the next cut.

Kickin,

 

My depression is MAJOR since this direct c/o to Klonopin.  Making me almost non functional.  It's intense and really bad.  Ativan I was depressed but not to this level.

 

Something for me to think about.  My psych always says it's my fault I'm too sensitive to meds.

 

 

Try

 

 

Cymbalta worked wonders for my depression, which was truly horrible.

Thanks Keagan......

 

 

Try

Hey try, just wanted to say I am dealing with the exact same thing right now.

 

So down I have no motivation to do anything. Feel like life is pointless just so incredibly down that nothing will crack a smile for me or make me feel any emotion other then depression.

 

Could this still be the Ativan wd perhaps since we are both feeling the same thing.

Ruby,

 

I don't know it's either the Atvian or what we switched to.  All I know is mine is really disturbingly bad.  Not one drop of  serotonin in my body.  And, nothing to get it going. 

 

 

Try 

Hi Try:

Depression and anxiety are my two main symptoms through this whole ordeal but as I tapered down to smaller amounts, it did get much less intense. I still get it now but much less often and it is getting milder all the time. I am waiting for the day when it dissipates to normal and is replaced back with the joy I once used to feel. Depression is a very common symptom. Hold on and keep going. You will heal.

LiveLoveLaugh

Live,

 

Can depression make you feel horribly sick?  I've been feeling really bad going to different doctors.  They all tell me I'm suffering from depression.  Even though I have physical symptoms of not feeling well.  Another set of tests are being run, because I find it hard to believe depression can make me feel that sick.

 

This whole benzo thing is far more complicated than I would have ever thought.

 

 

Thanks for the info.

 

Try

Try i think that wd plus depression can make u feel awfully sick!

Try,

 

I am sorry to hear that you are so depressed. I am, too, but I was already in a severe depression before I was on Lorazepam.

 

I am tapering from Lorazepam. Can't do Valium. Makes me even more depressed. Also had problems with Klonopin.

 

I am a little late in responding to you. Are you feeling any better today? I hope so. Is there anything that brings relief?

 

Iam

 

 

Iam,

 

Right now my issue seems to have shifted to major anxiety.  I still get some depression.  It comes and goes.  The anxiety isn't budging. 

 

I listen to music and try to stay distracted.  How do you manage?

 

I hope you are doing well. 

 

Try

 

Try,

 

The anxiety is horrible, too. I try to distract with cozy mysteries, and at night my husband and I watch episodes of "The Good Wife" and I get a little relief. Basically, getting into another "story' besides the current story of my life sometimes gives me a little relief. Today I started a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills group which will meet once a week for 9 months. Maybe it will see me through withdrawal! It's supposed to teach how to manage emotions, among other things. I felt a little less anxious at the end of the group.

 

I struggle with feeling like I can't cope in general in life (even before Lorazepam withdrawal), so I am hoping that this will give me more skills and confidence in coping.

 

Hang in there,

Iam

Long walks and hot showers plus good nutrition and lots of vitamin Bs are helping me out of what I call the black pit with the greasy side. As Robin Williams said just before he died "The only thing worse than being alone, is being with people who make you feel alone." Talking to people who know what depression is, seems to help me a lot. None of my family or friends fit this bill. I get it.