I was doing so well... now God help me

Hypnic jerks, which have been causing me insomnia for nearly 6 months now, but which have been subsiding, have now suddenly gotten worse in the past week.

 

In January they became so bad that they were keeping me awake all night every other night.  I had to quit my job because I couldn't function going to work every other day on zero sleep. Having this problem and not knowing how to solve it made me become deeply anxious and depressed, and have suicidal ideations.

 

Never experienced any of these symptoms before my brush with Valium. 

 

My conventional doctor didn't understand what was going on.  He wanted to put me on Ambien.  Thanks to BenzoBuddies, I was informed enough to say no to that.  In February I went to see a holistic doctor, who put me on a regimen that helped immensely.  It involved some lifestyle changes but also supplementing with magnesium and 5HTP at night. 

 

My sleep and my life improved greatly over the course of March, April and May.  The jerks never went away completely yet, but they lessened in severity and wouldn't keep me awake for long.  I even had stretches lasting a few nights where I could fall asleep without magnesium. I was just starting to feel like my old self again.  My holistic doctor said I could use the magnesium indefinitely but would need to taper off the 5HTP.  So I tapered slowly during June and by the end of the month, was off 5HTP. 

 

I was feeling so good that I planned a trip to visit friends in NYC, where I used to live until recently.  I felt like I was finally ready to take on that challenge, after months of barely feeling like I could function.  I'm supposed to leave in a week's time.

 

No sooner did I book the tickets than my hypnic jerks and muscle twitches began to flare up considerably.  The last few nights even two magnesium pills haven't been enough to calm the jerks.  That hasn't happened since February when I began using the magnesium. 

 

If this continues, I'm not sure I can go on my NYC trip.  I'm truly worried and upset.

 

Why is this happening?  Could it be that somehow I've become "desensitized" to the magnesium supplement, so it doesn't work as well now?  Could it be that it was the 5HTP that was helping me sleep the most, and now that I'm off it, things will just go back to the way they were before?  Could it be the stress of the upcoming trip?  Could it be that one mixed drink I had last week, has set me back?  I've had the occasional beer, approximately one per week with nothing too negative happening.  But maybe liquor, even mixed, is too much for my system now? 

 

I'm just so tired.  And I'm so tired of being tired. :'( And I'm terrified.  Terrified that my insomnia will go back to what it was months ago.  Terrified that I'll have to cancel my trip and miss out on a lot of fun.  Terrified that I'll never be able to handle normal stresses or challenges in my life again, because it triggers severe insomnia.  Terrified that the suffering will just never end...

 

Any positive thoughts, advice, relevant experiences, encouragement are greatly appreciated.

 

 

 

 

I've had a lot if this during withdrawal. That was my first symptom of tolerance withdrawal. I've noticed that it get worse when I do changes in supplements. I have tapered off phenergan lately and these jerks came back every time I cut down. But as soon as I got stabilized they went away. I think they also can worsen if there is something that stresses you, like going on a trip. My advice is to not let them scare you. Just go with them. They are very common valium withdrawal symptoms, but they will go away eventually!

 

HGHG

HGHG,

 

Thanks for your reply.  I'm glad to hear that things have stabilized for you.  I worry that they never will for me.  But knowing it has happened for others gives me a bit of hope.  I need to work harder on not getting so stressed about it, perhaps learn some meditation techniques.  Just seems like nothing really helps get me to sleep except a healthy dose of magnesium + 5HTP. 

Hi there,

 

I'm in on this discussion as well and jerks have been my worst symptom. They got so bad I went for a sleep study, only the sleep study was during one of my better phases. I did really well until I jumped last week. Jumped from 0.12mgs of valium and back they came with a vengeance. They are really, really scary. I too thought they were improving and had the worry about becoming tolerant to vitamins. oddly I found ovaltine and dyorolyte helped and then suddenly they didn't. Stress does make them worse, I agree. But the twitches can also make one stressed. They feed off each other. I think very slowly over time they will improve. Looking back over the last 9 months mine have improved, regardless of what I take but I can't see it on a day to day basis.

 

I have the same fear about a holiday. But withdrawal is such a strange thing you might be fine when you get there. You just don't know!

 

Love Buddy42

I am right there with you. This has been my only real problematic symptom that I can't deal with. I am almost a year out and still getting them. I never supplemented with anything. Although I do get some magnesium from using stomach meds for reflux. However, they have gotten much better than they were. I have found that certain things for me have triggered them to flare up: stress both good and bad, going to bed late, acid reflux medications, and most recently I speculate having two sips of champagne at a wedding. Hadnt had any jerks for two and a half months and then they immediately came back and I have had them now going on two weeks since that wedding. Usually went I get a wave of them it lasts several months. I am hoping that's not the case here. I wish you luck!

Hi there,

 

Your story is the closest to mine that I have found on BB! I too was wondering if I had got tolerant to Ovaltine, dyorolyte. Both relieved the jerks and twitches. Stress good and bad also make them worse.

 

I would be interested to know what helps you. Maybe I can share tips as well.

 

Love Buddy42

Hi Buddy 42,

 

It's good to know that I'm not alone, that I'm not the only one out there having this symptom.  That's really interesting that Ovaltine and Dioralyte helped you.  Might be something I could try.  I'm very hesitant to add another supplement pill to the mix, although it's very tempting right now to find something to replace the 5HTP.  So maybe those would be fairly benign alternatives to try. 

 

I keep telling myself that I've survived this far, over 8 months.  I've survived the acute withdrawl phase, and it's never going to get worse than that, as long as I stay away from the benzos and psychiatric drugs.  It's only going to get better from here.  I had many other symptoms that have gone away, and I just have to have faith that this symptom will eventually go away too.  I had dizziness, racing heart, palpitations, low blood sugar, cog fog, short term memory issues, for the first few months.  All that I basically gone.  This will go too.

 

I'll let you know if I try anything that works for me.  Also, if you find anything else, don't hesitate to message me and share.  Thanks for posting!

 

Love BlessedHuman

It's the magnesium. You're not the only one having trouble with it.

 

You can read my older posts if you want more details, but I am 100% sure it's the magnesium.

 

Be careful coming off it. It feels like acute all over again.

Interesting that you said that, zmt, because just yesterday I started halving my magnesium. I was taking a very small dose. I'll have to read your older posts. I've started cutting down on the few supplements I've been taking.

You think the magnesium is chasing the jerks?

How many mg. of magnesium were you taking per day, zmt, before you c/t'd?

zmt,

 

100% certainty is a very high degree of certainty indeed for someone who's never met me.  I don't think your post is very helpful frankly.  It's fear mongering about magnesium.  I'm sure magnesium can be abused just like anything else, but there's no need to spread fear about it.  Magnesium is a very important mineral in the body, and most of us don't get enough from our nutrient poor diets.  It's been a very helpful tool for me, but I don't plan to take it forever.  Except for this week, I've had to use LESS of it over time, not more.  And when I starting taking less, it wasn't ANYTHING like acute withdrawl. 

 

You think the magnesium is chasing the jerks?

 

Yes. I think she is in tolerance withdrawal on magnesium pills, which is why no amount will work anymore.

 

In my experience, magnesium pills behave like a mild benzo. There are about four or five of us now going through acute withdrawal again thanks to quitting magnesium. It's not as intense, but it's pretty close.

Magnesium from food is completely different from taking a magnesium supplement.

 

Good luck.

 

zmt,

 

100% certainty is a very high degree of certainty indeed for someone who's never met me.  I don't think your post is very helpful frankly.  It's fear mongering about magnesium.  I'm sure magnesium can be abused just like anything else, but there's no need to spread fear about it.  Magnesium is a very important mineral in the body, and most of us don't get enough from our nutrient poor diets.  It's been a very helpful tool for me, but I don't plan to take it forever.  Except for this week, I've had to use LESS of it over time, not more.  And when I starting taking less, it wasn't ANYTHING like acute withdrawl.

Hi irenakt,

 

Thanks for your reply!  Nice to know that I'm not alone in this.  Don't hesitate to message me if you find something that works for you.  Best of luck to you as well!  I will be praying for all of us.

 

Love BlessedHuman

How many mg. of magnesium were you taking per day, zmt, before you c/t'd?

 

200mg twice per day of magnesium citrate by NOW Foods.

is it safe to assume you've had a full neurological workup? If your signature history is correct, then you took an extremely low dose of benzos for an extremely short period of time. If it were me, and I were having problems like you describe 8 months later, I would definitely get a neurological and/or neuromuscular evaluation to look for a more plausible explanation for such severe problems, especially if they're having such a detrimental effect on your ability to do the things you want to do.

 

I'm not trying to downplay your problems, at all -- but if your extremely minimal use of benzos are really the only factor here, then you've reacted to them in a way that simply doesn't appear anywhere in any of the medical literature, and that often implies some kind of co-morbid condition. (That is, the benzos may well have been the straw that broke the camel's back, but there was something else waiting there below the surface). I'm not trying to be an alarmist; usually I'm not super enthusiastic about going the route of lots of tests and appointments after a benzo problem, but in your shoes, I would be.

 

I also agree with ZMT - I think magnesium is far more likely to be a factor in your current situation than taking a total of ~20mg of valium 8 months ago. Magnesium definitely causes muscle twitches and hypnic jerks; I experienced both myself pretty severely after taking it daily for a period of months and then getting less regular about it. I developed a very prominent and extremely annoying eye twitch which was almost constant for a period of weeks, and which has only resolved after about a month of taking almost zero supplemental magnesium.

I only took benzos a short time and I had a work up by two separate neurologists. One told me it was benzo withdrawal but didn't think it should be lasting this long. I feel like I have had every neurological test for this and there's no explanation.

Interesting that you said that, zmt, because just yesterday I started halving my magnesium. I was taking a very small dose. I'll have to read your older posts. I've started cutting down on the few supplements I've been taking.

 

If you were on a low dose short-term, you might be fine. I was on it for upwards of 5 months. The other buddies with problems were on it for months as well.

BlessedHuman, how many mg. of magnesium are you taking per day?

Hi there,

 

This magnesium debate is interesting and might explain some of my problems as I have been taking it in Ovaltine.

 

I was on a low dose of benzodiazapam and have had a full neurological as well as muscular workout! All have come back clear including an overnight sleep study! No doctor is prepared to tell me what is wrong so I have come to my own conclusion. benzo withdrawal!

 

Love Buddy42

And again,

 

Be careful with Dyorolyte Blessedhuman. One of the brands has added alcohol. Not much but as it works on GABBA I'd avoid it. I use the rehydration kind. For some reasons it calms my nerves. I only discovered it because I got a stomach bug. Instead of getting worse I got better!

 

I also find that limiting the amount of bright lights/ stimulation during the day can lessen the jerks!

 

Love Buddy42

zmt, I've been taking magnesium for about three months now. Knowing that I'm extremely sensitive to all drugs, more so now during benzo w/d, it makes me wonder if my sudden increase in pains and throbbing head have anything to do with halving the magnesium.

For me that was the first sign of trouble. If I skipped a dose of magnesium, I would get excruciating headaches.

 

zmt, I've been taking magnesium for about three months now. Knowing that I'm extremely sensitive to all drugs, more so now during benzo w/d, it makes me wonder if my sudden increase in pains and throbbing head have anything to do with halving the magnesium.

Thanks for the info once again, zmt. I had the throbbing head for awhile during w/d (feels like it's pulsating) and thought it went away. Now it's back again the last couple of days. I'm going to quit taking the magnesium altogether.