The Long Hold Support Group

Hi Jasmine,

 

I don't know what caused it, but I hope benzo is the reason. The Ashton manual mentions it. And also, that it will go away after the taper has ended and recovery has been completed. I'm holding on to that thought.

 

Stay strong! 

does your Polyneuropathy has to do with fibromalgia?

Jasmine, this was me one year ago in this post, and there's one of Gardener's comforting posts to me. I hope it helps you too.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=151673.msg2893488#msg2893488

 

thank you Valiumnomore for this.

thank you so so much

 

my sister has been on valium for the a long time, went from 60mg to 0.5mg, but never kindled. never stopped. she was on 3mg of klonopin until she switched to valium.

she is doing good and doesn't want to get off it.

 

i think i will take a break from BB for a while to focus on stabilizing.

 

Jasmine, this was me one year ago in this post, and there's one of Gardener's comforting posts to me. I hope it helps you too.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=151673.msg2893488#msg2893488

 

thank you Valiumnomore for this.

thank you so so much

 

my sister has been on valium for the a long time, went from 60mg to 0.5mg, but never kindled. never stopped. she was on 3mg of klonopin until she switched to valium.

she is doing good and doesn't want to get off it.

 

i think i will take a break from BB for a while to focus on stabilizing.

 

You're very welcome Jasmine. She's on 0.5 mgs of valium after coming from 60 and won't jump? That's funny. Anyway, I think we're too obsessed with being off drugs and we forget to live, so kudos to your sister. May I ask why she wants to stay on 0.5? Or did you mean 5?

 

You'll be ok. Just hold the dose, always the same dose, and distract as much as possible. LET TIME PASS (Gardener told me that).

Morning Trish you are being a bit quiet for my liking it is never a good sign.Listen twiny if you are able to cut just do it stop giving your anticipatory anxiety time to overwhelm you.You have a mental block because you are now under 1 mgs?l know this is scary honey no one wants to suffer however we will and do get through it.

  I have had that particular emotional blunting for years and l have no doubt it will pass.Sadly it doesn't blunt the fear and anxiety.

Now pull those big girl pants up and try to get through your day the best you can.That really is all any of us can do.love you my lST X

Hello twinnny!

Always nice to see a post from you! It lifts my sprits. I'm holding out awhile longer bc of heart sxs. I'm having an uptick in palps. I have no courage to drop when my heart is acting up. I am trying to get my diet coke intake down. I'm drinking 3 a day instead of 4 with the occasional cheat where I'll have 4 😔 don't judge me I'm trying 🙏🙄

I have been very busy though, I'm now into crafting. I love making things. I just bought a table top Christmas tree and decorated it for Fall. It's adorable! I don't know if that kind of thing is big over where you are but here in the states, especially the country style decorating, it's a thing. Decorate a tree for all holidays or season's. I'm also looking into making other fall/ Christmas decorations.😁

I am still dealing with quite a bit of anxiety so keeping busy with my new interest is very helpful, that's why I have been quiet.

So not sure when my next cut will be.. The moon and stars are just going to have to be lined up just right and world peace will have to be accomplished or it just ain't gonna happen anytime soon 🙄

I'm so happy to read that you daughter passed her exams! Congrats to her! 🎉🎊💃 I see my neice has my brains🤥😉

 

I hope everything your end is getting better. I think of you often and as always include you in my prayers. You make sure to take care of yourself! 

Love you,

LST ❤️

 

Hey V,

That was a very nice post from you this morning. I enjoyed reading it. You're very supportive and it's so nice to see you here again. Certainly not happy about your sxs though. You're making the right decision. No point in tapering when you're suffering muscle pain from the last cut. Wait it out and when you feel better then make your plan of action. I will do the same. Still dealing with palps and trying to keep busy with my latest muse, crafting! Lol

 

Be well my friend sending love and hugs,🙏❤️❤️

Trishy

 

Trishy what a great hobby! You could open a pinterest account and post your crafts! 

Jasmine, this was me one year ago in this post, and there's one of Gardener's comforting posts to me. I hope it helps you too.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=151673.msg2893488#msg2893488

 

thank you Valiumnomore for this.

thank you so so much

 

my sister has been on valium for the a long time, went from 60mg to 0.5mg, but never kindled. never stopped. she was on 3mg of klonopin until she switched to valium.

she is doing good and doesn't want to get off it.

 

i think i will take a break from BB for a while to focus on stabilizing.

 

You're very welcome Jasmine. She's on 0.5 mgs of valium after coming from 60 and won't jump? That's funny. Anyway, I think we're too obsessed with being off drugs and we forget to live, so kudos to your sister. May I ask why she wants to stay on 0.5? Or did you mean 5?

 

You'll be ok. Just hold the dose, always the same dose, and distract as much as possible. LET TIME PASS (Gardener told me that).

 

she just knows that once you are off it, if you get back on it again, you will have to go on a higher dose.

she is on 0.5mg (she takes 1/4 of a 2mg pill everyday)

 

we are boat people from the vietnam war and we were traumatized since childhood. anxiety is part of our make-up now.

 

hi Jwl, do you feel good on 1mg of valium? have you experienced tolerance?

how long did it take you to taper 20mg to 1mg of valium?

 

Hi Jasmine. Yes I feel really good except I'm kinda in a wave because of my tooth infection. I'm not sure what you mean by tolerance. If you mean did I ever reach a point where it was not having any beneficial effects then probably yes. If you mean did i ever experience tolerance WD then no. Every time I held I felt better. I've been tapering on and off for about 5 years. That's including many holds. But I'm probably an exception.  Many people have tapered much quicker with very little symptoms. Don't get discouraged that you've reinstated at 9 mgs. That's really not very much. I think your main priority should be to get stable.

 

hi Jwl, have you tried to get off before?

5 years taper is not a long time . the last time it took me 3 years to taper 4mg. and it was already really hard.

did you have anxiety and adrenaline surge during your taper?

 

Before I found BB, I tried to CT and experienced all the sxs you've described. It took me almost a year to get stable so I guess you could say I've been tapering for 6 years. Unfortunately, for those of us who've CT or tapered too fast, our CNS got screwed up and we've become hypersensitive. I've found the only solution is to take it nice and slow.

 

Don't give in to the fear that you have get rid of the "poison" ASAP.

 

Keep posting on this thread. I for one am thankful it's here.

 

 

JWL, why are you on gabapentin and naltrexon?

 

My idiot doctor put me on gabapentin, valium, and vicoden for my fibromyalgia (nerve pain). I've only recently been on LDN. It's for pain relief also.

 

As far as daily micro tapering, I think it's the way to go. You make tiny, almost infinitesimal, cuts every day so your body can gradually adjust. If if feel you're going too fast, you just hold at that dosage. I do the liquid Diazepam taper. It's simple and accurate. All you need is a 1 ml syringe and a 100 ml graduated cylinder.

 

Jasmine, when I was in you're shoes, I had those same thoughts: Am I damaged forever? Will I ever heal? Just remember WD amplifies our worries and fears. Everything gets blown out of proportion. You will heal and there's no reason your taper can't go smoothly.

 

 

Hey v!

You sound very good. Im pretty sure i have ocd too. Im sorry you have that itd awful. I cant stop meddinh with my teeth bevsuse they feel very weird. Just the frint ones. I really hope we come out of this halfway decent looking. Lol! Im outdide the drs to have then check my back neck omg! Im outside an hour early. I have no patience. Anothet sx!! Glad you are holding with that muacle tension. I think we need more relaxation skills. This wd hypes to up.  Blah! Ly suzy

 

Hi stut! I hqbe heen lurking. Trying to not focus to much on wd. So happy your daughter passed her exams! She sounds very bright! Hope your sx are not to bad and the greif is lessening. Too much going on to brar these fwys, bit we are doing it one fwy st a time. Ly suzy

 

Hang in there everyone. This is a long process but it gets better.

Hey v!

You sound very good. Im pretty sure i have ocd too. Im sorry you have that itd awful. I cant stop meddinh with my teeth bevsuse they feel very weird. Just the frint ones. I really hope we come out of this halfway decent looking. Lol! Im outdide the drs to have then check my back neck omg! Im outside an hour early. I have no patience. Anothet sx!! Glad you are holding with that muacle tension. I think we need more relaxation skills. This wd hypes to up.  Blah! Ly suzy

 

Hi stut! I hqbe heen lurking. Trying to not focus to much on wd. So happy your daughter passed her exams! She sounds very bright! Hope your sx are not to bad and the greif is lessening. Too much going on to brar these fwys, bit we are doing it one fwy st a time. Ly suzy

 

Hang in there everyone. This is a long process but it gets better.

 

Suzy I'm glad I sound good. I don't feel good but we can't complain much as we know it could be much worse couldn't it? Hey, good luck with that doctor appointment. Let's see what they say about your neck. I hope they don't think it's a good idea to give you valium but I wouldn't be surprised  Stay away from that crap as I know you will. I hope you're wearing a sexy facemask! Something sexy but simple. I hope GP would chime in and help with some sexy, feminine mask desings for the ladies in a pandemic. We need some fashion in these hopeless days.

 

A big hug to you before the Dr. appointment. If they give you a benzo prescription I'd get it. It's a great way to build your "just in case" stash.

Hey V,

 

I know you feel better somewhat you have that great sense of humour back!! That's hillarious!!! Ahaaaa. Omg, I'm glad that's over. It was awful. My ,muscles were tensing and I was there forever. I told her about the benzo. That's always a good time! She didnt do much. Just felt my neck and around that area. I said its probably muscle tension because of the taper. She was going to say fibro. Oh, here we go again with the misdiagnoses. She was nice though. She pres a muscle relaxer. Cant take that. It really feels like I hurt my arm or neck and my shoulder blades are killing g. I hope I dont have a slipped disc or something torn. She said she could feel the tension and didnt think so, I would be in more pain. I hide pain well as I'm used to it know. This is why I hate to go. Then I dont have pea e of mind and keep thinking they ,issed something. Hmmm. Troch, see I do it too! She said to go to the physiotherapist and they could do shots of trigger point lidocaine shots. Idk. May e I'll just wait. Ugh

Ok, I am listening to proverbs. One just said, "Measure a thousand times and cut once" what!! I'm thinking benzos. What does that mean.

As a retired contractor, it means make sure you get your measurements right because once you cut a board you can't fix it. A thousand times sounds a little OCD

 

I think all of us who are tapering tend to be OCD. It might have something to do with an excess of glutamate, like autistic kids who can laser focus on something and ignore everything else.

 

V. I also appreciate your posts. Your compassion, humor and knowledge. I know it's hard to stay upbeat with what you're going through

Thanks Jwel, I was list on that one!! Lol

That is promising.  I AM DREADING AUG. 10- this is when I will get my next period.  I was traumatized by my last one.  Geez

Oh goodness DD, that’s funny.  I think so.  Wow.  I totally have OCD and get that case of the “now now now dammit I want to be done now!”

Trishy- what a cool hobby.  I should find one to help me distract from the triggered sxs from Maggie’s passing. 

Stut- thank you for your words of compassion.  Ya, I have been distracted the last couple months with Maggie and COVID as I’m sure we all are.  I’m in a hot spot and about 147 people in immediate city alone have died.  Just grief around us everywhere. 

 

I hope all well today.  Some folks on here I don’t know.  This group moves fast.

 

OHHH and Olive Kitty I am so happy for you and your freedom.  You worked so hard.  Your my inspiration.  ❤️

 

Love to all

Meems 😻

Hey everyone my pharmacy gave me a different brand of clonazepam this yesterday because this brand makes 0.25 tablets . Today I feel anxious could it be all in my head since I knew they were different ? Anyone have experience with this? I can't tell if it's my usual anxiety or new anxiety from the change its weird lol

Hi meems,

I am so sorry about Maggie.  It is so painful losing pets. I lost my 2 cats and I was devastated. I never thought I'd feel better. I still think of them and it hurts but not falling apart like I was. I understand. She was very loved and knows you loved her and had a good life. I think we all have this OCD sx. Most days I dont even want to take it but down the hatch it goes, ugh. ❤❤🙏

Hi blkhwk,

My k was changed to a teva generic. I felt the change it leveled out eventually. Some people are fine with the switch. I am very sensitive to anything pill wise. There is a teva support group. Some people switch slowly over or see if the pharmacy will give you your old brand. Sorry that happened. I understand. You will be ok. Keep holding that helps so much.

Thanks so much as long as I eventually stabilise on the other brand that's what scares me .

I think you will. I did. See how it goes.  I think as long as its nothing major it will be fine. We will see what others think as a now we are all different.

anyone sleep okay even with slow slow tapering?

Hey everyone my pharmacy gave me a different brand of clonazepam this yesterday because this brand makes 0.25 tablets . Today I feel anxious could it be all in my head since I knew they were different ? Anyone have experience with this? I can't tell if it's my usual anxiety or new anxiety from the change its weird lol

 

I think you will be fine with time. Before I knew about the difference in generics I switched between 4-5 different manufacturers of K. I noticed an uptick in symptoms when I switched from Teva to Roxane liquid V, but it leveled out after a couple months.

That is promising.  I AM DREADING AUG. 10- this is when I will get my next period.  I was traumatized by my last one.  Geez

 

Mine should start August 1st.  .

should I mark you ladies on my calendar in red pen?....lol

Sorry had to joke...its either laugh or cry in this.

 

I'm schedule my life around it right now.....

 

But "Miss fortitude" on a thread today commented on this saying hers were bad too but now are not. I was glad to hear that!