my recovery so far, ANYONE HAD IT WORSE?

3 weeks of use Klonopin.25-.5mg for sleep C/T 1mg Ativan 12 days later and 40 mg of Celexa which I nearly died

Since no drugs No history of Mental health, or medications, never smoke or did drugs or drank alcohol

 

Month 1:

averaging base line -10% pure hell

Hell Brain freeze type pain all over my body

very severe flu like symptom

sever Sinus pressure

24 hour stomach cramp

sever insomnia 1 hour sleep per day

lots of pain all over my body

suicidal ideation

severe fear like I was dying 24/7

body temp changes down to 95-96 F sat in front of heater for the entire month

chills

tremors

Anger

Crying spells

burning sensation on stomach

tingling and something moving under the skin by my shins area

vision distortions

derealization

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain

clay color stools

lots of gas and burps

heart racing up to 120 bpm

brain felt ice cold

blood pressure attacks

frequent urination was off the chart

sore leg muscles

hissing noise was so severe

nausea

sweating like crazy

Sleep would rev me up slept 1 hours per day for the entire month

spent most of the night pacing the house.

 

Month 2

averaging base line 50%

Wave and windows

I thought things were getting better

all the symptoms of Month 1 but to a lesser degree

I though I was going to be healed by month 3, boy I was wrong

MSG in yogurt had me pacing for 16 hours of hell no sleep for day and half

morning wood would set me off the chart

could not have sex

hot shower set me off acute wave

reacted to everything

melatonin for sleep set me in acute 10% brain jolts

reaction to antibiotic cream for 3 days of hell

sleepy toxic nap made sxs twice as hard

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain

 

Month 3

averaging base line 40%

3 types of Headaches

a.Brain Freeze pain like you would eat a large scoop of ice cream

b.at times I felt I was hit in the head with a 2x4 and the pain was just like a roller coaster up and down

        c. sinus pressure with a dull ache in the head

Brain freeze pain moved down to my core stomach and spine

start having spine and ribcage pain

right eye pain

Shaky eyes

floaters

hissing noise got worse

severe insomnia

anger and rage

crying spells got worse

sweating and cold brain feeling

head pressure

could not have sex it would rev me up

prostate pain

hot shower set me off

right side liver pain went to ER was nothing

found out I have a kidney cyst 1.3 mm in diameter (great!)

Sleepy but unable to take a nap

toxic naps made sxs worse

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain

 

Month 4 Off

average base line 70%

Right eye pain

sleeping more in most days still can not get enough sleep 4 hours max

head aches

brain freeze pain in the body and head

anger

crying spells

turned the corner 10% improvement in SXS a little more tolerable

things opened up slightly

waves were less intense

Shaving cream set me off for 24 hours hell I felt like I was in elevator

I was able to nap 2 hours without feeling the toxicity

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain come and go

felt like I was in laundry machine after a nap several times.  Who needs to go to six flags great American

just take Klonopin and wait 4 months free rides

 

Month 5

averaging base line 70%

Frustration

Stomach pain

Right eye pain

sleeping more in most days still can not get enough sleep 4-5 hours max

head aches

brain freeze pain body and head

anger

except the fire ants attack on the stomach was gone for now

deep dark depression

took more naps 1-2 hours without getting revved up

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach somewhat stopped

 

Month 6

average base line 60%

Right eye pain

sleeping more in most days still can not get enough sleep 4 hours max

head aches

brain freeze pain body and head

anger

same as Month 5

more head aches

insomnia was back sleeping 3 hours now

5 days of bad sleep

Hydrogen peroxide set me off dizzy on a small cut on my hand

Acute symptoms returns from month and 2 and I get hammered for a few days a month

Deep dark depression

 

Month 7

average base line %50 lots of set backs

Blood sugar dropped low few times scary!

lost total hope in healing

frustration

right eye pain was less

headache was less

more anger

slept more 4-5 hours some days

anger and frustration was severe

food sentivity Still

May 25th I got slammed with a bad wave went down to 30% metally

suicidal idiation and other mental crap but induced not the normal me

Depression is deep dark

Have no faith that I will ever heal

no hope

low appetite

tremor

 

Month 8

I do not know yet

 

Month 9

 

Month 10

 

Month 11

 

Month 12

 

Month 13

 

Month 14

 

Month 15

 

Month 16

 

Month 17

 

Month 18

 

Month 19

 

Month 20

 

Month 21

 

Month 22

 

Month 23

 

Month 24

 

Month 25

 

Month 26

 

Month 27

 

Month 28

 

Month 29

 

Month 30

 

Month 31

 

Month 32

 

Month 33

 

Month 34

 

Month 35

 

Month 36 may be less or could be worse do not know

this is shit is perm

 

could go longer not sure

 

White coat assholes put me in this mess and they do not even recognize this

No Help No support I almost lost my job of 15 years who knows I may still

 

 

ITS SUMMER CAN NOT HAVE A Freaking ICE CREAM BECAUSE IT MIGHT SEND ME TO WAVE

GREAT LIFE

 

its so amazing that how fast your life can go from 100 to 0

White coats tried to prescribe more meds Lexapro, Amitriptyline, Ativan, Xanax, Seroquel, Ambien, Welbutrine, lunesta,

 

I am glad I did not take anymore

why did I stop K first it did not help me sleep but made things worse rebound insomnia

I started seeing spots, I started having jolts in my head

heart rate was bouncing between from 140 back to 45.

 

I felt like my heart was going to stop most of the times it was beating so slow 40-45 beats it woke me up all the time

7 ER trips.  Spent near $5000 out of pocket to find out what's wrong with me

insurance bill was $40000 with two hospital stays for nothing

waste of my life 

 

WHY??? why me I did 4 tours overseas I served this country and I get a brain damage "THANKS FOR YOUR SERVICE Soldier"

Rambo got a better treatment when he came back from Vietnam

 

 

W, its shocking what you are going through, just after short term use. i think

Klonopin is the biggest beast among all Benzos. i am so angry as well,

will never trust a white coat clown again.

 

keep the face ,don't loose hope, we are all unique , so many have recovered and so many

have not. who knows ? your recovery might happen soon, i hope it does mate.

Wow, I can identify with so much of what u said. I CT ambien 9 weeks ago after 2 years at 10mg. I stopped ct because ambiem was the cause of my excruitiating back pain, numbness in limbs and burning. I even had my gallbladder out but the pain got worse. After multiple med tests, MRIs, CT Scans, everything negative, I discovered it was ambien use. Which my PCP prescribed for 2 years at 10mg. I had $10,000 out of pocket medical expenses. My doctors do not believe ambien is the cause of my problems, think I am a psych case, never had anxiety or panic until WDs from ambien. My physical WDs are burning sensations, vibrations, nerve pain, muscle pain, sore back and spine, numbness. I had a great job too for 13 years, on disability now, and have to go to a doctor monthly for my disability approval.....he thinks i am crazy.

Will probably lose my job. i thought I would be ok , after 2 weeks and then after 1 month and then 2 months, but now I just don't know! I wish i was as strong as you, I am about to cave thinking maybe valium can get me thru this? ..............I am praying for you, cindy

WTFK7 - thank you for your service to our country. Get better bud.

Hey WTF,

 

I am so sorry this is happening to you.

Please try to stay away from the doctors and let your brain heal.

It will heal completely, but is going to take time...I wish I knew how much time..I don't.

 

Hang tough soldier...You can and will do this.

I promise.

Just remember you are healing.

 

I wish I could reach through this computer and help you.

 

Much love and healing,

Causing

Hey WTF,

 

I am so sorry this is happening to you.

Please try to stay away from the doctors and let your brain heal.

It will heal completely, but is going to take time...I wish I knew how much time..I don't.

 

Hang tough soldier...You can and will do this.

I promise.

Just remember you are healing.

 

thanks for your kind words I gave up on this even God Gave up on me

3 weeks of use I should have been healed by now but I guess not

I have to accept that this is permanent and I have to live like this for the rest of my life

I just do not know how but I guess I figure it out. 

 

 

I wish I could reach through this computer and help you.

 

Much love and healing,

Causing

3 weeks of use Klonopin.25-.5mg for sleep C/T 1mg Ativan 12 days later and 40 mg of Celexa which I nearly died

Since no drugs No history of Mental health, or medications, never smoke or did drugs or drank alcohol

 

Month 1:

averaging base line -10% pure hell

Hell Brain freeze type pain all over my body

very severe flu like symptom

sever Sinus pressure

24 hour stomach cramp

sever insomnia 1 hour sleep per day

lots of pain all over my body

suicidal ideation

severe fear like I was dying 24/7

body temp changes down to 95-96 F sat in front of heater for the entire month

chills

tremors

Anger

Crying spells

burning sensation on stomach

tingling and something moving under the skin by my shins area

vision distortions

derealization

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain

clay color stools

lots of gas and burps

heart racing up to 120 bpm

brain felt ice cold

blood pressure attacks

frequent urination was off the chart

sore leg muscles

hissing noise was so severe

nausea

sweating like crazy

Sleep would rev me up slept 1 hours per day for the entire month

spent most of the night pacing the house.

 

Month 2

averaging base line 50%

Wave and windows

I thought things were getting better

all the symptoms of Month 1 but to a lesser degree

I though I was going to be healed by month 3, boy I was wrong

MSG in yogurt had me pacing for 16 hours of hell no sleep for day and half

morning wood would set me off the chart

could not have sex

hot shower set me off acute wave

reacted to everything

melatonin for sleep set me in acute 10% brain jolts

reaction to antibiotic cream for 3 days of hell

sleepy toxic nap made sxs twice as hard

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain

 

Month 3

averaging base line 40%

3 types of Headaches

a.Brain Freeze pain like you would eat a large scoop of ice cream

b.at times I felt I was hit in the head with a 2x4 and the pain was just like a roller coaster up and down

        c. sinus pressure with a dull ache in the head

Brain freeze pain moved down to my core stomach and spine

start having spine and ribcage pain

right eye pain

Shaky eyes

floaters

hissing noise got worse

severe insomnia

anger and rage

crying spells got worse

sweating and cold brain feeling

head pressure

could not have sex it would rev me up

prostate pain

hot shower set me off

right side liver pain went to ER was nothing

found out I have a kidney cyst 1.3 mm in diameter (great!)

Sleepy but unable to take a nap

toxic naps made sxs worse

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain

 

Month 4 Off

average base line 70%

Right eye pain

sleeping more in most days still can not get enough sleep 4 hours max

head aches

brain freeze pain in the body and head

anger

crying spells

turned the corner 10% improvement in SXS a little more tolerable

things opened up slightly

waves were less intense

Shaving cream set me off for 24 hours hell I felt like I was in elevator

I was able to nap 2 hours without feeling the toxicity

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain come and go

felt like I was in laundry machine after a nap several times.  Who needs to go to six flags great American

just take Klonopin and wait 4 months free rides

 

Month 5

averaging base line 70%

Frustration

Stomach pain

Right eye pain

sleeping more in most days still can not get enough sleep 4-5 hours max

head aches

brain freeze pain body and head

anger

except the fire ants attack on the stomach was gone for now

deep dark depression

took more naps 1-2 hours without getting revved up

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach somewhat stopped

 

Month 6

average base line 60%

Right eye pain

sleeping more in most days still can not get enough sleep 4 hours max

head aches

brain freeze pain body and head

anger

same as Month 5

more head aches

insomnia was back sleeping 3 hours now

5 days of bad sleep

Hydrogen peroxide set me off dizzy on a small cut on my hand

Acute symptoms returns from month and 2 and I get hammered for a few days a month

Deep dark depression

 

Month 7

average base line %50 lots of set backs

Blood sugar dropped low few times scary!

lost total hope in healing

frustration

right eye pain was less

headache was less

more anger

slept more 4-5 hours some days

anger and frustration was severe

food sentivity Still

May 25th I got slammed with a bad wave went down to 30% metally

suicidal idiation and other mental crap but induced not the normal me

Depression is deep dark

Have no faith that I will ever heal

no hope

low appetite

tremor

body vibration during sleep

still have vision distortion

feeling like I am going to faint

yeah after 7 months off not surprise at all

I thing I am getting worse instead of getting better

 

Month 8

I do not know yet

 

Month 9

 

Month 10

 

Month 11

 

Month 12

 

Month 13

 

Month 14

 

Month 15

 

Month 16

 

Month 17

 

Month 18

 

Month 19

 

Month 20

 

Month 21

 

Month 22

 

Month 23

 

Month 24

 

Month 25

 

Month 26

 

Month 27

 

Month 28

 

Month 29

 

Month 30

 

Month 31

 

Month 32

 

Month 33

 

Month 34

 

Month 35

 

Month 36 may be less or could be worse do not know

this is shit is perm

 

could go longer not sure

 

White coat assholes put me in this mess and they do not even recognize this

No Help No support I almost lost my job of 15 years who knows I may still

 

 

ITS SUMMER CAN NOT HAVE A Freaking ICE CREAM BECAUSE IT MIGHT SEND ME TO WAVE

GREAT LIFE

 

its so amazing that how fast your life can go from 100 to 0

White coats tried to prescribe more meds Lexapro, Amitriptyline, Ativan, Xanax, Seroquel, Ambien, Welbutrine, lunesta,

 

I am glad I did not take anymore

why did I stop K first it did not help me sleep but made things worse rebound insomnia

I started seeing spots, I started having jolts in my head

heart rate was bouncing between from 140 back to 45.

 

I felt like my heart was going to stop most of the times it was beating so slow 40-45 beats it woke me up all the time

7 ER trips.  Spent near $5000 out of pocket to find out what's wrong with me

insurance bill was $40000 with two hospital stays for nothing

waste of my life 

 

WHY??? why me I did 4 tours overseas I served this country and I get a brain damage "THANKS FOR YOUR SERVICE Soldier"

Rambo got a better treatment when he came back from Vietnam

3 weeks of use Klonopin.25-.5mg for sleep C/T 1mg Ativan 12 days later and 40 mg of Celexa which I nearly died

Since no drugs No history of Mental health, or medications, never smoke or did drugs or drank alcohol

 

Month 1:

averaging base line -10% pure hell

Hell Brain freeze type pain all over my body

very severe flu like symptom

sever Sinus pressure

24 hour stomach cramp

sever insomnia 1 hour sleep per day

lots of pain all over my body

suicidal ideation

severe fear like I was dying 24/7

body temp changes down to 95-96 F sat in front of heater for the entire month

chills

tremors

Anger

Crying spells

burning sensation on stomach

tingling and something moving under the skin by my shins area

vision distortions

derealization

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain

clay color stools

lots of gas and burps

heart racing up to 120 bpm

brain felt ice cold

blood pressure attacks

frequent urination was off the chart

sore leg muscles

hissing noise was so severe

nausea

sweating like crazy

Sleep would rev me up slept 1 hours per day for the entire month

spent most of the night pacing the house.

 

Month 2

averaging base line 50%

Wave and windows

I thought things were getting better

all the symptoms of Month 1 but to a lesser degree

I though I was going to be healed by month 3, boy I was wrong

MSG in yogurt had me pacing for 16 hours of hell no sleep for day and half

morning wood would set me off the chart

could not have sex

hot shower set me off acute wave

reacted to everything

melatonin for sleep set me in acute 10% brain jolts

reaction to antibiotic cream for 3 days of hell

sleepy toxic nap made sxs twice as hard

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain

 

Month 3

averaging base line 40%

3 types of Headaches

a.Brain Freeze pain like you would eat a large scoop of ice cream

b.at times I felt I was hit in the head with a 2x4 and the pain was just like a roller coaster up and down

        c. sinus pressure with a dull ache in the head

Brain freeze pain moved down to my core stomach and spine

start having spine and ribcage pain

right eye pain

Shaky eyes

floaters

hissing noise got worse

severe insomnia

anger and rage

crying spells got worse

sweating and cold brain feeling

head pressure

could not have sex it would rev me up

prostate pain

hot shower set me off

right side liver pain went to ER was nothing

found out I have a kidney cyst 1.3 mm in diameter (great!)

Sleepy but unable to take a nap

toxic naps made sxs worse

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain

 

Month 4 Off

average base line 70%

Right eye pain

sleeping more in most days still can not get enough sleep 4 hours max

head aches

brain freeze pain in the body and head

anger

crying spells

turned the corner 10% improvement in SXS a little more tolerable

things opened up slightly

waves were less intense

Shaving cream set me off for 24 hours hell I felt like I was in elevator

I was able to nap 2 hours without feeling the toxicity

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach on top of cramping pain come and go

felt like I was in laundry machine after a nap several times.  Who needs to go to six flags great American

just take Klonopin and wait 4 months free rides

 

Month 5

averaging base line 70%

Frustration

Stomach pain

Right eye pain

sleeping more in most days still can not get enough sleep 4-5 hours max

head aches

brain freeze pain body and head

anger

except the fire ants attack on the stomach was gone for now

deep dark depression

took more naps 1-2 hours without getting revved up

feelings like fire ants were munching on my stomach somewhat stopped

 

Month 6

average base line 60%

Right eye pain

sleeping more in most days still can not get enough sleep 4 hours max

head aches

brain freeze pain body and head

anger

same as Month 5

more head aches

insomnia was back sleeping 3 hours now

5 days of bad sleep

Hydrogen peroxide set me off dizzy on a small cut on my hand

Acute symptoms returns from month and 2 and I get hammered for a few days a month

Deep dark depression

 

Month 7

average base line %50 lots of set backs

Blood sugar dropped low few times scary!

lost total hope in healing

frustration

right eye pain was less

headache was less

more anger

slept more 4-5 hours some days

anger and frustration was severe

food sentivity Still

May 25th I got slammed with a bad wave went down to 30% metally

suicidal idiation and other mental crap but induced not the normal me

Depression is deep dark

Have no faith that I will ever heal

no hope

low appetite

tremor

 

Month 8

its been 218 days

so far 60 % Base line

the headache is back

right eye pain is back

Clicking noises in my brain

I feel like my brain is moving in my skull try to jump out of this misery

Still have acute symptoms like hopelessness, fear, extreme food sensitivity

so far  6 days into my month 8 and I am not feeling any better than month 4

Any idea how to cope with this for the rest of life?

 

 

Month 9

 

Month 10

 

Month 11

 

Month 12

 

Month 13

 

Month 14

 

Month 15

 

Month 16

 

Month 17

 

Month 18

 

Month 19

 

Month 20

 

Month 21

 

Month 22

 

Month 23

 

Month 24

 

Month 25

 

Month 26

 

Month 27

 

Month 28

 

Month 29

 

Month 30

 

Month 31

 

Month 32

 

Month 33

 

Month 34

 

Month 35

 

Month 36 may be less or could be worse do not know

this is shit is perm

 

could go longer not sure

 

White coat assholes put me in this mess and they do not even recognize this

No Help No support I almost lost my job of 15 years who knows I may still

 

 

ITS SUMMER CAN NOT HAVE A Freaking ICE CREAM BECAUSE IT MIGHT SEND ME TO WAVE

GREAT LIFE

 

its so amazing that how fast your life can go from 100 to 0

White coats tried to prescribe more meds Lexapro, Amitriptyline, Ativan, Xanax, Seroquel, Ambien, Welbutrine, lunesta,

 

I am glad I did not take anymore

why did I stop K first it did not help me sleep but made things worse rebound insomnia

I started seeing spots, I started having jolts in my head

heart rate was bouncing between from 140 back to 45.

 

I felt like my heart was going to stop most of the times it was beating so slow 40-45 beats it woke me up all the time

7 ER trips.  Spent near $5000 out of pocket to find out what's wrong with me

insurance bill was $40000 with two hospital stays for nothing

waste of my life 

 

WHY??? why me I did 4 tours overseas I served this country and I get a brain damage "THANKS FOR YOUR SERVICE Soldier"

Rambo got a better treatment when he came back from Vietnam

Woofs comes to mind he's had it very bad. I have learned that as bad as it is it can always be worse.

Woofs comes to mind he's had it very bad. I have learned that as bad as it is it can always be worse.

 

I do not even think woofs had it this bad

 

I can assure you Woofs had and still has it this bad!!!!

 

I've gone through all your symptoms and I can relate to everyone and some more not listed.

 

Even though I have so many I only ever talk about the ones that disturb me the most and that's DP DR, but the one that hit home is the morning wood and sex.

 

They both send me to hell, had sex Friday night as I have a fiancée who I love and adore and to me still is the hottest thing on 2 legs and I don't want to loose her but after I was in hell, spent the night been electrocuted, stung with bees, heart palps, severe burning in my limbs, prostate and bladder pain, agitation, feeling like I need to get out of my own skin, disorientation, sweats and my favourite severe head pressure and feeling like I'm lying on a Rocky boat, puked 3 times through the night the anxiety was so bad and my fiancée slept through the lot, when she woke in the morning she was none the wiser of what I had gone through just so we could have sex.

 

I never got out of bed yesterday and I'm still reved up since, if I told anyone normal this they would think I was insane...

 

Last week I had a wet dream and woke up as you do with raging wood and I got a similar after effect but not as intense as Friday night, even sometimes we will have lots of foreplay and I won't follow through if you know what I mean but still what should be pleasure revs me up, I get a similar reaction sometimes after lifting weights indoors, still can't face gym at 19 months off and I lived in gym before this shit happened me..

 

2 weeks of Lorazepam for headaches ruined my life and I feel so bad 19 months later I cannot see any way back to who I was, it's stolen my life, used to love a beer with my mates on the weekend, now not 1 beer in 23 months !!!

 

So buddy believe me you have just written my symptom list by writing your own..

 

My sincere sympathies

 

Woofs

Woofs comes to mind he's had it very bad. I have learned that as bad as it is it can always be worse.

 

Thank you bud

 

Like you I'm now doing this 19 months and I'm still trapped in hell..

 

Satan likes torturing me and it feels like I'm going to be stuck with him forever!!!

 

I was able to do more my first year off and had a little hope, now I've got none...

 

 

Wow! Just a 3 week use, but you said Ativan you also used. Hmmmm. It seems it's getting better each month so far for me. Hope next month you're 95% healed.

I can assure you Woofs had and still has it this bad!!!!

 

I've gone through all your symptoms and I can relate to everyone and some more not listed.

 

Even though I have so many I only ever talk about the ones that disturb me the most and that's DP DR, but the one that hit home is the morning wood and sex.

 

They both send me to hell, had sex Friday night as I have a fiancée who I love and adore and to me still is the hottest thing on 2 legs and I don't want to loose her but after I was in hell, spent the night been electrocuted, stung with bees, heart palps, severe burning in my limbs, prostate and bladder pain, agitation, feeling like I need to get out of my own skin, disorientation, sweats and my favourite severe head pressure and feeling like I'm lying on a Rocky boat, puked 3 times through the night the anxiety was so bad and my fiancée slept through the lot, when she woke in the morning she was none the wiser of what I had gone through just so we could have sex.

 

I never got out of bed yesterday and I'm still reved up since, if I told anyone normal this they would think I was insane...

 

Last week I had a wet dream and woke up as you do with raging wood and I got a similar after effect but not as intense as Friday night, even sometimes we will have lots of foreplay and I won't follow through if you know what I mean but still what should be pleasure revs me up, I get a similar reaction sometimes after lifting weights indoors, still can't face gym at 19 months off and I lived in gym before this shit happened me..

 

2 weeks of Lorazepam for headaches ruined my life and I feel so bad 19 months later I cannot see any way back to who I was, it's stolen my life, used to love a beer with my mates on the weekend, now not 1 beer in 23 months !!!

 

So buddy believe me you have just written my symptom list by writing your own..

 

My sincere sympathies

 

Woofs

 

That totally blows Woofs. Knowing how sick I was in the throws of withdrawal it really rocks me to my core to read how sick you still are. I am getting better at 6 months off, but I know I probably have another 6 months to go before I am fully healed. I am really looking forward to reading your future posts about when you start getting windows Bud and it IS going to happen. It does for everyone. Hang in there Woofs, your time is coming and you are way overdue......