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Maybe a good thing at the tail end of this taper?


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I have just been reading on the post withdrawal board and a member posted about being over stimulated at 5 months out, pertaining to having clarity but finding it uncomfortable to listen to music, watch films and generally any emotion towards being happy or excited was not easy.

 

That is pretty much where I am at since a month ago.

 

I made a small dose correction because PRIOR to correcting my dose I had a weird feeling that I can only describe as stepping into a huge room with minimalist things inside, no carpet, hard floors, high ceiling and very sparse... a place where you could hear a pin drop... that is how heightened my senses were and it was really, really strange... almost like a sort of existential dead end like being stripped of everything... so I made a dose correction but although that sounds bad, it could have been the verge of something good in a way, maybe a breakthrough?

 

I just don't know any more at this point, I have been holding for a month and need to hold a bit longer, I have been feeling pretty much OK and quite normal BUT tonight I am a bit wired and my senses are a bit high again... it's like "whoa!, reality!" sort of...

 

I wonder if this is a good thing to be feeling like this when people that are 5-6 months out are feeling the same? Maybe I really am healing in this taper and who knows? Maybe I will feel quite good healing in the coming months?

 

I think this could go either way at this point, it is either going to just be difficult for awhile and will slowly improve or it's going to start to get weird and right now I can't really tell which way.

 

I am seeing a Doctor at the beginning of next week and will discuss this with them but it could be that I am on the verge of breaking through something or this is how it is going to be for some considerable time to come.

 

I hope this over stimulation thing does not last too long, the way I see it is that it could be the brain working for the first time with little to no drug and that sensory stuff like music, films and excitement are simply too stimulating but if that is a sign that the brain is starting to work, then that has to be a good thing I think, even if it feels horrible right now.

 

I love the clarity but I am having to choose what on watch on TV very carefully, I will more than likely go into reading mode and play games on the computer until my brain starts to get used to this new clarity...

 

I am far more aware of the traffic outside, the birds singing, my vision is clearer, it's amazing because everything sort of has a more solid feel but there is still a sense of surreal in a minor way...  I sat outside tonight and I was far more aware of the stars in the sky, the moon and just, well, existence really, everything was more pronounced I guess.

 

It's a trip and not necessarily a bad way, it's just a bit much to take in right now.

 

I can only describe it as being on the verge of seeing and hearing stuff as it should be and my brain is just trying to get comfortable with that...

 

I think ultimately, it is a good sign, every though I feel pretty wired right now.

 

 

 

 

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