Author Topic: Any musicians out there feeling the effects?  (Read 1533 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Any musicians out there feeling the effects?
« Reply #10 on: April 15, 2014, 04:43:06 am »
used to be a working musician for many years up in nyc, guitar (acoustic singer songwriter really) and accordion.... been many years and I'm trying to get back into it but it is very frustrating... I have the same thing with "windows" where one day I am my old self and then the next it's like I almost never played before but I also hope that as I heal those windows will get better and I will get back out there and be able to play out again...

Thank you for this thread, I thought it was just me never connected the coordination issues to the withdrawl!
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[Buddie]

Re: Any musicians out there feeling the effects?
« Reply #11 on: April 15, 2014, 04:55:18 am »
I play guitar and was working on my right / left hand synchronization when I came across this thread.

Since starting on Xanax and the wd, my coordination has really taken a hit. So has my cognitive abilities which really show up when playing music. I have to rely on playing from the sub-conscious instead of what I have drilled in by rehearsal and memory.

I notice when I'm in a window, I play well, and when a wave hits I sound bad no matter how much I try to overcome. The benzos really do alter fundamental brain function.

I'm counting on this being temporary, and am expecting a full recovery based on the progress over the last 2 years.

The best part of being 20 months out is that I can FEEL music again. My emotional link to the music is back, which is wonderful.

I see more and more that this is a common thing for us musicians. I have to rely on the subconscious most of the time, too. Once I get going on a rough night, my guitar playing usually gets better after the second hour. On a good night, it's a blessing. My timing is really taking a hit, too, on drums as well. But I know it's all related to the same thing in w/d. I used to be a human metronome. I know it will get better for all of us, may take a while with many broken 'windows' along the way but it'll pass. I just know it in my heart.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Any musicians out there feeling the effects?
« Reply #12 on: April 15, 2014, 04:57:47 am »
used to be a working musician for many years up in nyc, guitar (acoustic singer songwriter really) and accordion.... been many years and I'm trying to get back into it but it is very frustrating... I have the same thing with "windows" where one day I am my old self and then the next it's like I almost never played before but I also hope that as I heal those windows will get better and I will get back out there and be able to play out again...

Thank you for this thread, I thought it was just me never connected the coordination issues to the withdrawl!

It's not just you, I'm feelin' it, too. It will get better.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Any musicians out there feeling the effects?
« Reply #13 on: April 15, 2014, 05:00:49 am »
Talking about timing - no way could I even find the beat during the waves it was so bad. Never mind about playing around the beat - just let me find the darn thing.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Any musicians out there feeling the effects?
« Reply #14 on: April 15, 2014, 05:07:24 am »
I hear you. I was playing Roller by April Wine this afternoon and I just couldn't get the timing of the verses right for the life of me. After dinner (and my evening dose), went down and played it again almost perfectly. Sat down on the drums for 45 minutes tonight and sounded like my old self again. Windows. Timing. Coordination. Weakness. Concentration. Learning a lot here on my first day in the forum.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Any musicians out there feeling the effects?
« Reply #15 on: April 15, 2014, 05:28:13 am »
used to be a working musician for many years up in nyc, guitar (acoustic singer songwriter really) and accordion.... been many years and I'm trying to get back into it but it is very frustrating... I have the same thing with "windows" where one day I am my old self and then the next it's like I almost never played before but I also hope that as I heal those windows will get better and I will get back out there and be able to play out again...

Thank you for this thread, I thought it was just me never connected the coordination issues to the withdrawl!

It's not just you, I'm feelin' it, too. It will get better.

 :hug:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Any musicians out there feeling the effects?
« Reply #16 on: April 15, 2014, 06:14:47 am »
I'm new to the forum and just introduced myself in the introductions area. I'm a musician and have been a drummer for over 40 years plus I always tinkered on guitar. I decided to pick up my guitar and seriously start learning how to play better about 3 years ago. It's a great outlet for relaxation because it takes me worlds away from my w/d problems.

Lately what's been happening is my coordination seems to be taking a hit. The stuff I was doing with my left hand fingering on the fretboard a year ago is hard to do right now, like finger diarrhea. Sometimes my left ring and pinky fingers seem to get confused and have a mind of their own, like a general clumsiness. Also noticing it in my right foot on the drums (I normally have a lightning fast foot and only play a single kick). My right foot gets sore and tires much more quickly and I'll get an extra beat in (or miss one) every now and again.

Also noticing a weakness in my arms/hands, especially with my right strumming hand on guitar, not as much power as I had a few months ago and tiring easily. Some nights are good, some are bad. I know that coordination problems are one of the side effects of w/d from what I've read. Almost like the brain fog travels right down into my fingers and the brain to finger thing isn't connecting quite as 'sharp' as it was last year. Especially with the cut back to 1.75 mg of clonazepam I made on February 20th. Has anyone else encountered this? Interestingly, I also notice that my typing skills on the computer are real sloppy lately. Must all be related somewhow, yet I can can count down from 100 to 0 in increments of 7 without a mistake, brain still functioning at least  :)

How is this thread pertinent to withdrawal and recovery?  And why hasn't been moved?   Just curious.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Any musicians out there feeling the effects?
« Reply #17 on: April 15, 2014, 12:59:22 pm »
I'm new to the forum and just introduced myself in the introductions area. I'm a musician and have been a drummer for over 40 years plus I always tinkered on guitar. I decided to pick up my guitar and seriously start learning how to play better about 3 years ago. It's a great outlet for relaxation because it takes me worlds away from my w/d problems.

Lately what's been happening is my coordination seems to be taking a hit. The stuff I was doing with my left hand fingering on the fretboard a year ago is hard to do right now, like finger diarrhea. Sometimes my left ring and pinky fingers seem to get confused and have a mind of their own, like a general clumsiness. Also noticing it in my right foot on the drums (I normally have a lightning fast foot and only play a single kick). My right foot gets sore and tires much more quickly and I'll get an extra beat in (or miss one) every now and again.

Also noticing a weakness in my arms/hands, especially with my right strumming hand on guitar, not as much power as I had a few months ago and tiring easily. Some nights are good, some are bad. I know that coordination problems are one of the side effects of w/d from what I've read. Almost like the brain fog travels right down into my fingers and the brain to finger thing isn't connecting quite as 'sharp' as it was last year. Especially with the cut back to 1.75 mg of clonazepam I made on February 20th. Has anyone else encountered this? Interestingly, I also notice that my typing skills on the computer are real sloppy lately. Must all be related somewhow, yet I can can count down from 100 to 0 in increments of 7 without a mistake, brain still functioning at least  :)

How is this thread pertinent to withdrawal and recovery?  And why hasn't been moved?   Just curious.

Hi [...].   :)  Since I am also a musician, I know why this thread is very pertinent to both withdrawal and recovery.  I'm both a musician and a songwriter.  I play the guitar and [...] and also owned a music publishing company on Music Row for many years.  Music has been a fundamental foundation for my life as I was raised in a very musical family.  However, during my taper I stopped playing both the guitar and [...], (something I did daily since I was in the 3rd grade), because I felt no connection to my instruments and also my hands trembled a great deal.  My creative energy was completely zapped for a very long time and I stopped writing songs.  It was a form of derealization I suspect, because although I mainly continued feeling connected with most of my environment, my connection with my instruments was broken.  This has improved for me a great deal during my year off Benzos, but I'm still not feeling as connected as I was prior to withdrawing.  I guess this is one of my symptoms that I've yet to completely overcome.  Hope that helps you make the connection. 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Any musicians out there feeling the effects?
« Reply #18 on: April 15, 2014, 02:26:49 pm »
Hi [...],

We allow anything about withdrawal to be discussed that impacts lives.  Whether it is a corporate job or a job in the music industry, if withdrawal has made it difficult or impossible it is important to be able to reach out to others who might have experienced the same thing.

Like [...], music was my life since I was 6 years old. I started performing at 7 and was written up in several newspapers at an early age.  I lost my music for over two years, while on benzos and during recovery.  I still taught but it was by motor reflex after having taught for so many years.  My coordination was so bad that not only did I have bruises from running into furniture but I was unable to control my fingers on the keyboard. It all part of the loss that happens due to these drugs.

I'm happy to say I have regained all I lost. In addition, I think my concentration level is higher now than even before benzos because I have had to concentrate on my wellbeing for so long that I have better skills now. Music is in my head all the time now and I'm loving it. 

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Any musicians out there feeling the effects?
« Reply #19 on: April 15, 2014, 03:27:30 pm »
How is this thread pertinent to withdrawal and recovery?

This was my first topic in the forum and although you'd never know it, I was actually terrified that I might be the only one stuggling with coordination problems tapering off of clonazepam. I wish you could see me trying to type this right now.

And why hasn't been moved?   Just curious.

Did you read all the replies? This thread isn't so much about music as it is the problems trying to play it while in w/d. One person said "Thank you for this thread, I thought it was just me never connected the coordination issues to the withdrawl!"
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.