[Sl...] Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Last week my therapist and I decided to go ahead and let that be our last session. We'd been talking about that for about four or five sessions. Been with her for several months, and one other therapist prior to her for several months too. "You're doing all the work out there in your life," she says. So, we agreed that if I need to go in and have a session I can just call a week or so ahead and set an appointment. I also had been seeing a taper doc, my "pill doc," I call her, once per month. Last Thursday I told her that I'd be seeing her every 60 days now for a while. Nothing new happening in her sessions either; just repetition. So I'm feeling pretty good about these steps. I know what to expect in my cuts; that cycle, with its predictable hell in 3 to 7 days after the cut, then the gradual less and less hell and I cut again. No mysteries. Soooo.... onward. - Slappy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Ka...] Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Good progress! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Sl...] Posted April 6, 2014 Author Share Posted April 6, 2014 Good progress! Thank you, Kallor. Long ways to go on the taper.. but I am lucky in that I have not had to hold real long on a dose, and have not had to reinstate an old higher dose. Just plugging along at my little ole 5% cutting rate. - Slappy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Di...] Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Good progress! Thank you, Kallor. Long ways to go on the taper.. but I am lucky in that I have not had to hold real long on a dose, and have not had to reinstate an old higher dose. Just plugging along at my little ole 5% cutting rate. - Slappy Yes, definitely good progress. I'm tapering so slow that it's pitiful, but it works for me. So I'll just keep going, and will finally get there. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Sl...] Posted April 6, 2014 Author Share Posted April 6, 2014 Yep. It's the right direction. Slow as it may be. I don't know about you.. but I do feel that I've learned a lot about myself during this journey. Old feelings and their history in me, their effects on my life's decisions, relationships, etc. The ways I've coped starting very young. The walls I've run into head first, then learned to climb by making the tools and equipment from somewhere inside of me. There is one thing about walls that are in our way.. making our way over the top affords quite a view from up there; view toward where we've come from, and the grand panorama of where we want to be. - Slappy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[be...] Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Good for you Slappy. Seems like you've come a very long way! Betsy :yippee: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ca...] Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Very nice Slappy-good for you! I enjoyed reading your thoughts on how you've moved forward and how to climb walls instead of running into them. I used to have an image of myself running full bore into one wall, then turning around and running full bore into another one and on and on. So it's a metaphor I relate to. I'm glad your taper is going relatively smoothly and that you've seen such progress after obviously putting in a lot of work on yourself. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Sl...] Posted April 6, 2014 Author Share Posted April 6, 2014 Thank you Disney Girl, Betsy and Cate. I'm curious about the use of the word, "window" we see around the forums. Is that to mean a window of clarity on the world or life in general. Or more like a good feeling that came along during the day? Or something else. Just curious because I like the word as applied to this.. especially the "walls" analogy I often use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Di...] Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 Yep. It's the right direction. Slow as it may be. I don't know about you.. but I do feel that I've learned a lot about myself during this journey. Old feelings and their history in me, their effects on my life's decisions, relationships, etc. The ways I've coped starting very young. The walls I've run into head first, then learned to climb by making the tools and equipment from somewhere inside of me. There is one thing about walls that are in our way.. making our way over the top affords quite a view from up there; view toward where we've come from, and the grand panorama of where we want to be. - Slappy Totally agree. Have been learning a lot about myself. And the learning continues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ca...] Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 I take "window" to mean when you feel good as compared to a "wave" of withdrawal symptoms. When you have a rare good day with less or little withdrawal symptoms, before you get hit with another wave. I take it to mean physically as well as mentally/emotionally. Someone correct me if I'm wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Sl...] Posted April 7, 2014 Author Share Posted April 7, 2014 I take "window" to mean when you feel good as compared to a "wave" of withdrawal symptoms. When you have a rare good day with less or little withdrawal symptoms, before you get hit with another wave. I take it to mean physically as well as mentally/emotionally. Someone correct me if I'm wrong. That's pretty close to the way I've been taking it (maybe benzo buddies needs a "Benzo Glossary of Benzo Slang." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Ne...] Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 Good for you - you are getting more independent in dealing with all of this. It is good to know, however, that your therapists are there for you if you need them, kind of a safety net. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[bi...] Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 Keep up the good work Slappy. Its like a destnation and driving on the highway. Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Sl...] Posted April 7, 2014 Author Share Posted April 7, 2014 Keep up the good work Slappy. Its like a destnation and driving on the highway. Bill Great way to put it, brother bill. Benzo Brother Bill? 3B? BBB? Don't mind me.. it's the green tea talking. Good for you - you are getting more independent in dealing with all of this. It is good to know, however, that your therapists are there for you if you need them, kind of a safety net. I sure do see it as a safety net.. I have been feeling great working up to this point in time with her; we knew it was coming and she let me run the show on when. I am quite fortunate to have found that facility. I did go through a therapist there at first that was not really connecting with me, so I was given the opportunity to try another. And yeah, what you said using the word, "independent." I like that.. hadn't thought about that much but yeah now that you mention it I think I've got an old part of myself back that has dealt with adversity and sad situations thrown at me beginning early on in my life. Nice to see that portion of myself coming into play again. Heal on, good people, - Slappy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[th...] Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Window = feeling good. Wave = feeling crappy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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