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Better than Ever at Two, now THREE Years off Xanax


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Megan this is such good news!

 

I remember you were the first to greet me when I joined BB.  You were and still are so very encouraging to all of us still dealing with the w/d process.  It is wonderful to read success stories!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi:

I know about you because you responded to my introduction.

Thank you so much for responding.

I don't really understand how to use the posting system in order to get some conversation going.

Your physical symptoms during withdrawal sound like mine so reading them calms me a bit.

I'm feeling very fearful about my nerve pain, generalized burning, patches of burning (feet, hands arms, lips, tongue) sudden singular nerve sensations, muscle spasms and some deep sudden bone pain anywhere and everywhere all of which causes a vicious cycle of pain and fear followed by more pain due to the nerve stimulation by the fear.

I just want to be my slightly anxious but happy self again.

The severe psychological symptoms from my original Klonopin withdrawal have mostly abated.

I'm now tapering off of Valium after starting it, when 6 months off of the Klonopin, because of the terrible fear due to the extreme uptick of physical symptoms of withdrawal after a flu. 

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I was experiencing my morning yucky ness and went to your post. It thrilled me that I could hear from another artist. I am at 5 mgs Valium from a taper beginning with 3 mgs xanex. I painted when I was on xanex and have been blocked for the time I am concentrating on recovery.

I blame my intuition and my feelings for getting me in this mess .

But I know that that thinking is wrong. I am learning to handle fear and anxiety in other ways and.take heart in your saying the anxiety is now less than before.

I pray to once again accept and love my artist self. Thank you for your story!

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Can you tell me the pros and cons of transitioning to Valium?  I guess I am a baby, but when I go off I feel so awful I go back to a small dosage.  Why go to Valium.  Won't that then become another withdrawal to suffer through?
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Can you tell me the pros and cons of transitioning to Valium?  I guess I am a baby, but when I go off I feel so awful I go back to a small dosage.  Why go to Valium.  Won't that then become another withdrawal to suffer through?

 

Valium has a much longer half-life than Xanax or some other benzos.  It's also a little more sedating than Xanax.  It worked for me for that reason, though some people find it too sedating.

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Megan,

 

Can you please tell me how you did the Valium switch.  Since it lasts longer in the body, it seems you wouldn't take the same dosage each day.  I am at 1/4 to 1/2 a day.  I am thinking .5 mil of Valium instead but would it build up for a worse addiction?

 

Blessings,

 

Roemer

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Megan,

 

Can you please tell me how you did the Valium switch.  Since it lasts longer in the body, it seems you wouldn't take the same dosage each day.  I am at 1/4 to 1/2 a day.  I am thinking .5 mil of Valium instead but would it build up for a worse addiction?

 

Blessings,

 

Roemer

 

Hi,

 

I did my complete taper in about 10 weeks.  My prescriptions had been stopped, and all I had to work was what I already had on hand.  I don't remember dosages, but I do remember that for 3 or 4 days I was taking both Xanax and valium, and after that I took only valium.  It was a fast taper, by necessity.

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Megan, reading your success put a smile on me :)  I can't wait for this whole ordeal to be over. Tapering, tapering, tapering, new drugs more drugs more tapering and waiting for the miracle of healing.  This can't be real but is ?  sigh :(

I just can't put my head around these long healing times. What is it with this darn drug? 

 

Wishing you continued healing Megan :thumbsup::smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

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Thank you, everyone!  I'm glad my story can help inspire others.  Getting off benzos isn't easy, but it is worth it!

 

:smitten:

 

Truer words never spoken.  All the thanks for me to BB! :smitten:

 

Karen

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This is a great success story.

I don't come here often...but I am glad I did.

 

I am so happy for you and your testimony is very encouraging.

 

Much love and continued healing,

Causing

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Your stories are inspirational I feel like I'm going insane!  I don't know exactly where to post this but basically I had my first panic attack that I can remember in high school, been diagnosed with ptsd, dmr, agoraphobia, panic disorder, gad you name it. Basically drank and smoked herb all through my 20's almost died from it.  Then was detoxed in the hospital and told I probably wasnt going to live. I did and decided to get married and have my first kid, had a relapse of severe anxiety depression while I was pregnantbinge drank for about 3 weeks hospital saved me and my daughters life.  But my first experience with lorazepam was when they put me in a coma for it after nearly dying in the hospital in 2009. After having my first baby was feeling depressed still smoked herb and went to get help from psychiatry at Kaiser at the time was diagnosed with postpartum depression put on zoloft and gabbapentin and then ended up in the hospital with pins and needles feelings tremors, they had to put seisure pads around me accused me of drinking again.  I told them that I had not.  Now that i've done more research think it was protractive withdrawls. They diagnosed me with seritonin toxcicity syndrome. Then my health got real bad and they put me on prednizone and a whole bunch of other meds that made my anxiety go sky high eventually i was at 6mg of lorazapam a day for 6 months.  Went to see the head of the department she got me off the gabapentin and then i had the courage to get myself of the lorazepam went from 2mgs 3x a day to 11/2 3x a day to 11/2 twice a day and did the rest on my own all within two months this was back in 2012 decided to stay on the mirtazapine that they had put me on when diagnosed with ssts.  So i wouldnt drink during my second pregnancy. During my 2nd pregnancy no drinking but my anxiety was through the roof only way i could get through it was to smoke herb which i know sounds terrible but better than taking lorazapam!  After my second daughter was born in 2013 I still had severe anxiety but was functional was still smoking herb occasionally but taking my kids to the park being a mom used lorazepam on occasion for sleep like 1 mg or a trip or two to the park dealing with my agoraphobia. Long story short we moved to be closer to my husbands work way out to the boonies I lost my former caregivers started drinking again cause i didnt want to use the lorazepam, then in dec 2013 started 2mg Lorazepam to make sure i wouldnt go into alcohol withdrawls by jan i was up to 3 taking it every 8 hours. My doc told me to stop drinking and stop smoking herb so i did. became less functional then he upped my lorazepam and i stopped tolerating it, so he switched me to klondazapam stopped tolerating that was itching all over like crazy. Then he put me on librium then I started with the doctors out here my pshychiatrist dropped me after they put me on every ssri imaginable none of which i can tolerate.  I started with a new psychiatrist have only had 2 sessions with him so far but am less functional than i have ever been in my life i feel like im going crazy was at 150 mg of librium by my other doctor then dropped by 33% all at once then with the next one was tappered from 100 to 95 severe withdrawls, then to 90 even more severe withdrawls then changed to the new one I'm seeing now. He bumped me back up to 95 mg of librium and am so disfunctional i have to have caretakers take care of me and my kids. He originally bumped me back up to 100 but felt suicidal on that so then went back down to 95 the next day.  I feel like I'm stuck here, no hope no way out. I don't know what to do, they have me in I.O.P. but its not helping me at all. Since starting the librium ive become progressively worse and worse.  I want off the benzos but dont want to loose my family or end up in a mental hospital where all they will do is dose me and send me back out to I.O.P. again, feel so weak i sometimes can't get out of bed or lift a jug of milk cryig constantly feel like im living in hell and that it's just hopeless.  Has anyone gone through what i am going through?  Any advice on how to get my life back or what route I should go with my new psychiatrist feel like every decision i make only makes things worse and like im living in an unreal world.  I havent had a drink or smoked herb since Jan but feel less functional and sane every day that goes by, just make it through the day is every day of my life i feel no joy only pain and misery, everyone has a different answer.  PLEASE HELP! :crazy:
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Thanks Birdman, Muggzie, and causingpain.  I appreciate your kind words!  :smitten:

 

Mommyof2, that's quite a story.  You'll find that many here have similar stories about being switched from benzo to benzo, and other drugs as well, both prescription and nonprescription.  For me, it was Xanax all the way with an a/d thrown in.  I'm currently tapering off citalopram, and doing so much slower than I tapered off Xanax.  So far, so good.  My advice to you is to keep posting on the boards, and remember that our boards generally have themes, i.e., "Other Medications" for non-benzo drug related questions, "Anxiety" for anxiety related posts, etc.  We also have a Support Group section where you'll find special interest groups for your particular situation, such as being a parent in withdrawal.  Hope this helps....

 

:smitten:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Megan!  :)

 

It is so encouraging to me that you continued to feel improvement from 1 - 2 years off!  I noticed that you said your symptoms were always worse in the mornings.  Mine are too, and I generally feel better by noon.  Are your mornings symptom free now? 

 

Thanks for being such a light for all of us!! :smitten:

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Very, very encouraging, Megan!!! Thank you so much for listing your sxs as your healing improved and for posting your success story. I've been reading a book lately, and I swear I don't remember reading one of the chapters, but I must have. That's scary to me. Info goes out the window a lot, like it's been wiped away. So knowing that you've gotten through all of that and are painting again - that's huge!!! Thank you again!!!
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Hi HealingHope,  most of my mornings are normal now, but since I'm still tapering citalopram, there are a few sluggish mornings.  Nothing like before, though

 

Terry38, I remember what a joy it was when I could read and follow a plot again.  I'm glad you can do that now....

 

:smitten:

 

 

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Thanks Megan.

 

Did you ever have days that seemed to flip on you?  Today my anxiety and symptoms have been increasing instead of the normal decrease.  I do NOT like this change!  I was so close to being 100% and I feel like I have backslid so much.  The changing of symptoms brings such fear.  I'm only 3 weeks out from hitting the year mark and things are looking worse.  :(

 

If I was at 95% before, I will get there again...right??

 

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It's not unusual to have "waves" even when you're nearly a year out.  I was still having them then, and I even had one final bout of pretty severe vertigo just before I finally healed.  Healing from this isn't linear, it's an up and down process.  It's an up and down process that gradually evens out, at least that's how it was for me.
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  • 2 weeks later...

Tapered Klonopin 1mg x3 day in 6 months.  Could never have done it without BenzoBuddies.

Came here everyday and got tremendous support in between the poor souls who just couldn't help themselves.  They ended up just disappearing.  I had a buddy who was just a month ahead of me in tapering.  We supported each other and monitored each others tapers.

 

I was actually an exciting experience.  We shared all our windows and waves.  We even called each other after we jumped and kept in touch.  Time passed and the last I had spoke to her she reinstated.

 

That was sad to hear.  All that work.

 

Work is exactly what it was.  Coming back and hearing how some people are still suffering post taper symptoms is sad also.  I can just offer them reassuring that they too be get passed what they are going through and be new all over again.

 

This is a great place.

 

Karen Muggzie

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Mugs, that was a sad story.....so sad that there are some of us in just too much pain to find the end of the tunnel....may they eventually find their peace.... :-[
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Mugs, that was a sad story.....so sad that there are some of us in just too much pain to find the end of the tunnel....may they eventually find their peace.... :-[

 

yep. :(

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Hi HealingHope,  most of my mornings are normal now, but since I'm still tapering citalopram, there are a few sluggish mornings.  Nothing like before, though

 

Terry38, I remember what a joy it was when I could read and follow a plot again.  I'm glad you can do that now....

 

:smitten:

 

Hi Meg's,  You say mornings are best?  Me too. Then by 5:00 pm the tinnitus and nerves rev up and by bedtime it's peaking, again.  Then if I wake up anytime after 4:00AM it's all reset for another cycle.  I do notice every morning seems better than the next.  Does this sound familiar? At time's I get so scared this last little bit of healing will never happen for me and I'll be caught in this cycle forever :'( :'( :'(

 

Hugs Bird  :smitten:

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Good morning Megan, as you can see I am only a little over 3 months off the Valium. Megan, I am starting to experience some anxiety and shakiness. My confidence is being shaken also right now. My body feels very stiff and painful. I was doing pretty good then bam yesterday I only slept 3 1/2 hours and my anxiety jumped to a new level.

 

Is there any advice you could give me? Also Ive been listening to the anxiety summit, now in my 14TH day. I was wondering if you had any thoughts on the Amino Acids therapy? Thank you Megan for any advice you can give me.

 

Love Jackie :smitten:

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Hi everyone, and thanks for the kind words......

 

Bird - actually, for me, mornings were the worst time.  Every day it was the same for many months, extreme morning anxiety which got better very gradually until 4pm, when I'd usually feel a lot better.  This went on for almost a year, when I began to actually have a few good mornings.  After that everything evened out slowly....

 

Jackie - what you're going through is normal for someone in acute withdrawal (first few months off, usually).  Symptoms wax and wane, and new symptoms can appear.  It's a roller coaster ride.  What worked best for me was distraction, using anything that got my thoughts off my symptoms for a little while.  I practiced this over and over until distracting myself became automatic.  Use anything that works for you.  As far as supplements, etc, I tried a few and none of them did anything for me.  I soon came to realize that time is the healer, and there's really nothing we can do to rush the process.

 

:smitten:

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