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My Birthday today and feeling crazy


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HI guys,

 

I'm feeling so crazy today, I don't know what to do make myself feel better.  I just want this to be over so I can feel normal again.  I'm trying to pretend to be okay around my family, but am having such a hard time.  Especially since I cry every morning, like clockwork for a couple of hours.  I'm sure quitting smoking has something to do with it, but I just want to feel better.  Some days are better than others.  I'm still having the crazy, racing thoughts, some insomnia, apprehension, lots of depression.  I keep telling myself what a bad person I am, and how I don't deserve anything good.  I was never like this before.  My imagination is still working over time majorly. I'm still afraid of almost everything.  I'm trying to just let the thoughts come so that I can get through them, but I just end up crying in frustration sometimes.

 

I was only on those damn Xanax pills for 6 weeks, could this be the cause. Someone please respond, I want to know that this is normal for Xanax lingering side effects.  Or do I need serious therapy?  More meds?  I just want to feel better.

 

Tammy 

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I have no family I can talk to, someone please respond.  Sometimes reading alot of these things on the Benzo withdrawal sites just makes it worse.  I read something that said it could take 3-6 months to feel better and even then it may last longer.  I need help.

 

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Hi Tammy,

 

Happy Birthday!! I have started a birthday thread for you.  Others will drop by and post their birthday wishes.. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=10329.0

 

I know you are having a hard time now, but you will get over this and feel normal again. I was only on klonopin for 8 weeks, and I am still tapering from it. I too have good days and bad, but I know that there is another good day coming. Before you know it, the good days will far outweigh the bad days and soon the bad days will be history. You need to find things to do to distract yourself from dwelling on the symptoms as the anxiety you are feeling just adds to the symptoms. Hang in there, sweetie!!

 

T2 :smitten:

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I have no family I can talk to, someone please respond.  Sometimes reading alot of these things on the Benzo withdrawal sites just makes it worse.  I read something that said it could take 3-6 months to feel better and even then it may last longer.  I need help.

 

Hi, Tammy.  I'm sorry today is so rough.  :( None of this is fair but it seems particularly unfair to have to fake a happiness on your birthday.

 

I couldn't remember your story at first so went back and read your other posts.  Just 2 days ago you were feeling a lot better; hard to remember when you're feeling bad, I know, but it helps to remind yourself of those times. 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=10218.msg135561#msg135561

 

Benzo withdrawal is an emotional rollercoaster.  All you can do is hang on and try as much as possible to distract yourself.  Focusing on others important in your life really does help, too.  Just remember, you won't always feel the way you do now.  You may not even feel this way later today.  Accept "what is" as much as you can but be confident that it will change, because it will.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/beeper0002/BBuddies/hang_in_there_kitten.jpg

 

 

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The Beeper is wise, Tammy, and gives great advice.;););););););) Stay distracted on good things and let the bad things take care of themselves.

You will be o.k. don't be scared. HAPPY BIRTHDAY:):):):):):)....

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Hi Guys,

 

I am feeling a bit better.  I always feel bad in the mornings, the a little better in the afternoon.  We were going to go out for my birthday, but I'm just going to have the family get take out and we can eat here at home.  Thanks again, guys,  I have to many things to work through it seems, most of it created during the Xanax withdrawals.  Someone mentioned focusing on others, I'm trying really hard to do that.  Why is it so hard?  I never had problems thinking of others before.  In fact that's all I ever did!  I feel like a big kid.

 

Thanks for the birthday wishes, too.

 

P.S. 43 today, yikes!

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Happy Birthday!!!

 

These drugs definately cause us to have a rollercoaster of emotions/symptoms/feelings!!!  I thought I had completely lost my mind before I found out what was really going on.  Your mind is fine...it's the drugs!  I can't emphasize that enough!!  Now that I have stopped listening to psychiatrists & moron doctors...I am doing GREAT!  Do I have anxiety sometimes...you bet.  You just have to learn a different way of dealing with it than popping a pill.  Hang in there!

 

Love,

 

Jen

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I hope your day is better today Tammy.  Happy belated birthday!  There are so many days that I just want to avoid dealing with my kids, my work....pretty much everything.  Then I feel all guilty because I'm a grown up and should be able to handle things.  Think about something that makes you happy...the beach, your pet, a movie.  It will make you smile and for some weird reason it helps to lift the fog on your brain.  :smitten:

 

Keep plugging along!

 

Melissa

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Hi Tammy,

 

I am sorry for seeing this late but a BIG happy birthday to you , you and this board are the best, don't ever feel that you are not a good person, well maybe you are right..you are a GREAT person, don't let your BD get you down, you have me and this board to always be there for you.

 

Take Care

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Hi Tammy.......many happy returns and hope you enjoyed your takeaway, was it Chinese or Indian? :)...........if it makes you feel any better, I had a rotten birthday on the 31st......too many visitors, plus the added bonus of local kids ringing the door bell for two hours solid (Halloween!).

 

Mornings are especially bad for me too, but a hot bath normally sorts me out, plus a good breakfast.......hope you feel better, and rest assured things will get better, but maybe slowly.

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Hi Tammy,

 

Its Geor-hey, oh baby, if anybody knows what u are going through its me. I am feeling the exact same way. I as well took Xanax, but I took it for a few years. I pretty much convinced myself I am going nuts too. hehehehe.. Its so hard not to think that when your mind is scattered, racing with horrible thoughts and you cry every time your alone analyzing the way you feel and how everything feel and looks weird. Sound familiar? Its super hard to deal with this roller coaster, I know hun. It blows my mind that something so nuts like these withdrawals are kept so under wraps by the drug companies and totally down play it to doctors.

 

Tammy, I was really bad the other night. I was so tired and exhausted and didn't know how I could keep going. I just wanted to talk to someone who was going through the same thing. Thankfully my new friend Thomas offered to let me call him. It made a world of difference to just be able to talk to somebody. What we can't do alone, we can do together. Let me know if you want to chat, I'll give you my phone number.

T

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