Last Reach Out - Should I Reinstate or Not?

Will keep this very short as I've recently posted my whole story..

 

I was @ the end of Stage 3 (week 3) - 3mg Ativan taper via Ashton - went into a medical detox thinking my taper would just be shortened. I was convinced it was my best bet to come off totally in 10 days. So I did. It (today) has been 14 days and I'm worrying like all hell - that my odds of nasty PWS/lack of time for my GABA rcptrs/CNS to heal on the 40ish week taper - is going to keep me at the mercy of this garbage if anything years longer than I would had I just continued the taper..

 

I have now the ability to reinsate at 30mg Valium, resume my taper.. Is this "2 week" grace period for those who have RD/CT - actually the case? Is my brain just as screwed either way? I am so confused and stressed out as I feel I have no time to figure this out as I am now at 2 weeks..

 

Am I better off (in anyones opinion) to not take my chances and just reinstate? Is this going to help my brain heal better/faster than not? Any more info greatly appreciated. I intend to reinstate tomorrow morning...

 

Thanks in advance if anyone else has any thoughts/advice..

If you chose to reinstate do it now. You are in the safest two week window now. You have the best chance for it to work. I quit 5 mg of ativan cold turkey december 4th. I went to a detox center. No one talked to me about how horrific this withdrawal would be.

You are probably screwed in the short term either way. If you can handle your symptoms ride it out. If really bad reinstate and taper

Benzosrcruel:

 

Thank you so much for your response and sharing your story with me. I am feeling better to be hearing this 2 week grace period does exist... Helped alot to read it again. I will be deciding tomorrow at 11am what I'll be doing.... :/

 

I wish you the very best in your recovery, heal quick. ML&R

Onelove24:

 

Well, that's kind of a buzzkill to read... :S Will keep those points in mind a well... Thanks for your input.

Not trying to be a buzzkill. W/d sucks its just gonna happen. But you could heal quickly. People do. I did the first time. Just being real that in the short term it wont be fun

What are your symptoms?  Do you have any depersonalization (feel like your living in a dream)

 

Molly

IGo2God:

 

Thank you so much for responding! Well, yea in fact depersonalization is probably my worst symptom (most debilitating. Aside from the extreme lack of balance/poor motor/cog skills, extreme heart palpitations, constantly burning hot, and so on. I've been in bed for most of thelast 1.5 years - that's how sick these evil drugs have made me. These symptoms occurred daily prior to detox,  went away for a couple days after leaving the detox then within 1 week WHAM.  Tenfold. Worse than ever, and on nothing to help it. This Lyrica is keeping me from having fu-blown seizures but that's about it i think.... (Again today is day 14)  These are the reasons why I am now so worried... That the rapid detox has been a very very bad idea, and I am hoping to find that because it's only 2 weeks that I could resume my taper without any permanent duty to this 10 day detox..

 

I'm wondering: Is there still benzos in my body? Is this why within a coulle weeks it may be more effective? As the shock hasn't fully set in yet?

 

Thanks so much again for your time. ML&R

I would probably reinstate.  If the 30 mgs isn't enough I would to go up to where I felt ok.

I would stay at my reinstated dose for several weeks or longer and try to calm my brain down. 

Our brain is being attacked by glutamate storms and needs time to heal and calm itself from the out of control glutamate.

I reinstated at to low a dose (1 mg Xanax) and it didn't help at all.

 

My symptoms from my c/t were worse on week 3, but I was on Klonopin which has a longer half life.

 

Don't panic, you'll be ok what ever your decision.  It took awhile but I'm much better now.

 

Molly

You will get your life back no matter what you chose. We all will heal. If your symptoms are somewhat under control i personally would carry on. If they are debilitating I would reinstate. The early days of my withdrawal was nothing less than horrific. The mental torment was excruciating.  In the first 35 days I went to the ER 10 times. Three of the by ambulance. After that i started to get better a teenie tiny bit each day. I am now capable of smiling and laughing.When I look back I don't know how I survived. I really don't, it was that terrifying. .. but I did and I am glad I did as the best years are yet to come.

I'd just like to post this so that you have all the information you can. This is what Dr. Ashton has to say about reinstatement:

Reinstatement, updosing

 

A dilemma faced by some people in the process of benzodiazepine withdrawal, or after withdrawal, is what to do if they have intolerable symptoms which do not lessen after many weeks. If they are still taking benzodiazepines, should they increase the dose? If they have already withdrawn, should they reinstate benzodiazepines and start the withdrawal process again? This is a difficult situation which, like all benzodiazepine problems, depends to some degree on the circumstances and the individual, and there are no hard and fast rules.

 

Reinstatement after withdrawal? Many benzodiazepine users who find themselves in this position have withdrawn too quickly; some have undergone 'cold turkey'. They think that if they go back on benzodiazepines and start over again on a slower schedule they will be more successful. Unfortunately, things are not so simple. For reasons that are not clear, (but perhaps because the original experience of withdrawal has already sensitised the nervous system and heightened the level of anxiety) the original benzodiazepine dose often does not work the second time round. Some may find that only a higher dose partially alleviates their symptoms, and then they still have to go through a long withdrawal process again, which again may not be symptom-free.

 

Updosing during withdrawal? Some people hit a "sticky patch" during the course of benzodiazepine withdrawal. In many cases, staying on the same dose for a longer period (not more than a few weeks) before resuming the withdrawal schedule allows them to overcome this obstacle. However, increasing the dose until a longed-for plateau of 'stability' arrives is not a good strategy. The truth is that one never 'stabilises' on a given dose of benzodiazepine. The dose may be stable but withdrawal symptoms are not. It is better to grit one's teeth and continue the withdrawal. True recovery cannot really start until the drug is out of the system.

 

Pharmacologically, neither reinstating nor updosing is really rational. If withdrawal symptoms are still present, it means that the GABA/benzodiazepine receptors have not fully recovered (see above). Further benzodiazepines cause further down-regulation, strengthen the dependence, prolong withdrawal, delay recovery and may lead to protracted symptoms. In general, the longer the person remains on benzodiazepines the more difficult it is to withdraw. On the whole, anyone who remained benzodiazepine-free, or has remained on the same dose, for a number of weeks or months would be ill-advised to start again or to increase dosage. It would be better to devote the brain to solving individual symptoms and to finding sources of advice and support. Advice about how to deal with individual symptoms is given in the Manual (Chapter 3).

I, too, spent much time in bed on benzos...to be precise 79 days I spent in bed. I was soooo sick. What I did not know then was that I was in a tolerance withdrawal.benzos are so cruel...thus my username of benzosrcruel.

Sometimes it feels like any decision we make is out of fear and the unknown with these damn pills.

Benzos are cruel for sure.. :'(

 

 

Molly

Thank you hope1962. I believe I had read that once before but since I seem to be comprehending a bit better these days it was nice to read again.

I remember the only way I was able to taper successfully was to keep splitting the doses. I started out at once a day and by time I decided to jump (3 years later) I was taking my Valium 6x a day. I would go back on if it were me, not saying what you should do but I would only do it if I had complete control over my taper and I would go slow. 30 mg is a lot to taper really fast. It took me 3 years to get from 30 mg to 4 mg!!!

Tough decision.  Are you able to function and work now?  That could be a factor in your decision.  Whether you reinstate or not, you are likely to experience some level of discomfort in the next six months.  Reinstatement is not a panacea plus the reasons you took the benzo may still need to be addressed, regardless.  There is also the possibility of kindling due to being on and off several different benzos, so there are no guarantees that reinstatement would put you back to whatever level of "calm" you were previously.  That being said, I personally reinstated about a month after a c/t off only 7mg valium.  Within a week, the majority of symptoms were significantly improved.  However, I still had to deal with (by choice) 10 months of an unpleasant taper with cuts every 10 days.  I had anxiety and depression throughout, some of which was there prior to first taking the valium (anxiety).  After I finished the taper, it was at least four months before I was feeling significantly better and a year to really sort things through.  However, nothing compared to the intensity of side effects of the c/t (for me).  In addition, one can develop balance problems (vertigo) and tinnitus (ear ringing) from rapid detox or c/t.  My otoneurologist tapers all his patients off even as "low a dose as 2mg valium" for several months. I was lucky to find him because other doctors foolishly were telling me to just taper off the reinstated valium in 30 days and replace with Lexapro (glad I didn't listen).  My understanding is that GABA receptors can take months to heal, sometimes a year or two. So replacing with antidepressants (some of which also have vertigo as a side effect) just didn't make sense to me.  I'm not knocking antidepressants. Prof. Ashton writes that for some, it may be helpful in the process, but certainly not as a "cure for anxiety" .  I found ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) to be helpful for anxiety.  Check out the Acceptance and Commitment workbook for Anxiety by Seifert and Eifert.  Ultimately, whether c/t, rapid detox or slow taper, I had to do something about managing stress better.  For years, I thought I had to eliminate anxiety or cover it up, but it can be helpful to take a different perspective.  Also, be aware that whether rapid detox or taper, one will likely at some point face rebound anxiety in which one can get stronger anxiety for some periods (than one had before) including the possibility of panic or mini panic attack.  I never had panic before but had two mini episodes in my first six months off the valium.  I think it can be part of the normal healing process as the body and brain adjust.  That is not to say that everyone will have a panic attack, just that it is possible in high stress situations, particularly if one was/is prone to anxiety.

 

Good luck, whatever you and your doctor decide,

 

Vertigo (no more)

I know you were going to make your decision today about reinstatement. Please let us know if you did. Thanks!!

"The truth is that one never 'stabilises' on a given dose of benzodiazepine. The dose may be stable but withdrawal symptoms are not. It is better to grit one's teeth and continue the withdrawal. True recovery cannot really start until the drug is out of the system."  Dr. Heather Ashton, The Ashton Manual, http://benzo.org.uk/manual/bzcha00.htm

 

I read Dr. Ashton's manual before I found this site.  Thanks to Hope1962 I re-read what was posted above.

 

In day 15, I am struggling but I am trying to let the quote I've reposted here from Hope1962 be my guiding light.

 

 

Please let us know how your doing Iwantmylifeback, did you reinstate?

   

    I usually try to base my decision concerning reinstatement advice on whether or not the buddy has depersonalization and derealization and how severe it is.  It's one of those symptoms that seems to stick around a long time and is very disabling.  But even if it's severe it's possible it might only last a couple months and be worth the c/t decision, it's just hard to know with these things.

 

 

Molly