Thank you both SO much for responding. I highly respect and appreciate your stories and kindly your time to help me out in such a desparate time
I do apologize for the confusion about doses between my post and Siggy. I shouldn't have edited while feeling so cloudy :/ I will add more info now to hopefully clarify more of my situation now..
I forgot to insert that I was switched from Xanax to Ativan last November. About 6mg X/day at that time. I was having no major symptoms except for some fogginess and increased anxiety. I asked my doctor to put me on a less potent but same class drug being totally nieve to all of this - in fact no idea still that benzos are life ruiners. Okay. Soo I went from that to 3mg sublingual Ativan, clearly this ignorant drop was not working for me as I was having major panic attacks - within a couple weeks was put on 6mg/A/day. This too, within weeks became not enough. I then for a couple months was bound to the bottle, had to take 1mg every 4-5 hours to keep the INSANE tolerance w/d at bay. And I mean HORRENDOUS. I became more and more unstable very quickly and eventually picked up on the patterns, and realized "hey, my life is NOT horrible, I do NOT have major anxiety - something is wrong here - this pill seems to take away my symptoms but maybe it is causing it as well..."
Again, having never been told about the possible side fx/adverse effects of benzos - this was the first time I actually thought to look into it. I found a few video stories on youtube and some articles with adverse effects/symptoms and almost passed out in disbelief..... For the previous year+ I was convinced I had about 20 health conditions - it became clear to me exactly why all my scans/xrays/bloodwork/holter heart monitor results were all normal.. And i knew my occasional vertigo spells (which I've had my entire life basically) and my TMJ could not be causing these insane symptoms.. Soo..
I immediately decrease my doses figuring it would help in a few days - again being nieve still to a lot of what I know NOW... fortunately it did help. this is where the 3-4mg/A/day comes in. Just for a short period of time.. Okay so I make a doctors appt. I had found the Ashton manual (thank god!)! Printed and brought with me the TS for the use of 3mg/A/day based on the fact that for just a very short while I had been taking 3-4, may as well round down and not up seeing as it would make it worse (or so i thought) and take more time to taper...
I start my taper according to the A.M.. And now that I think of it I can't remember 100% and do not have the TS at hand but i do think the total V equivalent then was - 30mg.. This was mid switchover from A-V I believe.. I was in the 2nd last day if week (stage) 3 - and figure that since I would recently have been brought fully onto V that because i've had NOTHING for 13 days that I could skip the ativan fully and go with 10mgV 3x/day, stabilize and resume my taper....
I am so sorry for rambling and possibly repeating myself, my brain is so cloudy right now it is ridiculous... But yeah... So.. I really was hoping to find that maybe it was NOT too late to resume
there is nothing preventing me from tapering, I could get back on tomorrow with a fax to my doctor... Again I hate these pills as much as the next person... But i have the option of tapering, nothing aside from me believing in idiotic words from medical staff at the detox that it was a great idea - safe and won't cause any damage as these were my concerns. . I take my part in responsibilityfor agreeing to it in my fragile state- of course.. But again this was not my only option... I feel that the taper would be much safer than risking a likely 2% odd of "getting lucky" on a c/t....
Does months out on a c/t compare in effectiveness to 2 weeks, I wonder? Or as mentioned there is a "frame" of hope for me? :/ Is V only going to be the right decision, you figure - to resume my taper or should I go back to where I left off WITH the ativan....? Any input GREATLY forever appreciated!!
If the 2 weeks is in fact still not too far gone, will I have less odds of PWS/years of symptoms? I am making myself believe that this is true. I am trying to remain optimistic of course...
Is there any more posts around or literature in the web with some validation to this at all? That anyone knows of... Again I know I want to do it - but am scared and confused and have about 12 hours to make a decision..... :S
If I missed/failed to address any of your points I apologize I did read thoroughly, just unable to backtrack to check atm as I am on my cellphone..
Again, I cannot thank you enough for your time - hell I would pay per word here as this is how much it means to me and how desperate I am right now!
Endless thanks and appreciation, all!! <3