Anxiety Support Group

There is a section in forum for topics relating to anxiety but I thought it might be helpful to start an anxiety support group in this support group section for those who have particular issues with anxiety and may have started on the benzo  due more to anxiety than something else. I started on valium about five years ago to try and cope with anxiety I had about a parent who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and also to help with some insomnia I had been having.  I took valium for a few weeks on an International trip and was not warned to taper off, which led to some problems such as vertigo a few weeks later.  I ended up reinstating and eventually tapered off the valium and have stuck around forum to pay it forward some.

 

I believe there are at least two types of post taper anxiety. The first is a kind of acute hyped up feeling, often in the mornings which seems to take place in the acute healing phase after a taper, may take about three to four months for things to settle down some, for others it may be longer.  That acute anxiety (sometimes also referred to as rebound anxiety) or hyped up feeling is sometimes attributed to elevated cortisol, some get tested although not all have it show up elevated on a blood test during this period.  Blood pressure is also sometimes elevated in the acute healing stages after taper is over and some doctors will offer to prescribe a beta blocker or other medication.  Mine did but I declined adding another medication for something I viewed as part of the natural healing process in benzo withdrawal and recovery.  As one starts to feel a little better or calmer (anxiety may not be gone but can diminish).  However, that does not mean one will not experience any anxiety or the pre anxiety one may have had.  By the way, I'm not suggesting ignoring medical advice regards to blood pressure meds, it was just a decision I made but some may benefit from BP medication and all medication changes should be ultimately made with one's own physician.

 

Also, it is possible that one may in the first six months have an occasional mini panicky feeling (I don't like to call it an attack).  I never had panic attacks prior to benzos or during, but I had two instances where I got a little dizzy and cog foggy which led to some palpitations and "panicky" feelings at about 3 months and 6 months off.  Some also refer to depersonalization or derealization which is a kind of out of body sensation.  Fortunately, I had done some reading up on anxiety and mindfulness, which helped me to not work myself up into a frenzy or all out panic "attack" when I had some of these sensations.  So doing some work on learning some coping skills for anxiety is in my opinion, essential.  Those mini panics were unexpected but at least I already had some sense of how to observe my physical sensations and not freak out.  The body scan is one helpful tool to learn.  It can be learned on youtube or it is in many books on mindfulness.  One classic is "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat Zinn but there are newer books on mindfulness and anxiety as well as depression.  Anxiety can be paradoxical in that the more one may try to avoid it or get rid of it, the stronger and more powerful a force it starts to have on you.  ACT therapy (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) is one approach that has been helpful to me, since it incorporates mindfulness and acceptance, focuses less on getting rid of anxiety. It is also a little different from CBT in that rather than putting a kind of pressure to change and replace "irrational thoughts", ACT is more about acceptance, curious observation, mindfulness, and changing behavior.  CBT may also be helpful and some of you may have other approaches to share. 

 

A second type of anxiety once the acute phase is somewhat diminished, may be a return to what I would call "pre existing" anxiety.  That is close to the state that one may have been in before first taking a benzo and may be pretty close to "normal" by comparison to others.  At times, it may actually be more intense than before benzos, but similar.  Some who took a benzo may not have had intensified anxiety at all.  Some may have had more subtle anxiety which perhaps led to other symptoms such as insomnia.  It was and has been important for me to learn that anxiety is not abnormal or something to get rid of.  The issue with anxiety that can become a problem is when it becomes overly intense and prevents one from functioning or doing the things one wants in life.

 

Finally, healing is often not linear.  So one may start to feel pretty good for a while and bam, you might get hit with a wave or setback.  So its important to have realistic expectations and be prepared for anything.  Plus, as you start to feel better, one may begin to challenge oneself more with things one used to do more of, such as exercise, work, getting out there socially (as some posted) volunteering to help or coach your kid's sports (as I did) and this may lead to some return of adrenalin or anxiety again.  The idea is not to avoid life and anxiety but get back into life.  ACT founder Steven Hayes wrote a book called Get out of your Mind and Back into your Life.  That resonated with me.  As mentioned above,  I first started up on valium to try and cope with a situation involving a parent with terminal cancer.  When big life events happen, such as divorce or end of relationship, financial loss or ruin, loss of a job, a loved one dying or becoming ill, yourself becoming ill... (the biggies) one will find that anxiety and depression may rear their ugly heads.  The question may be whether to cover up those situations and painful experiences with booze or pills (as many of us tried), pretend like everything is fine, or learn how to cope differently and better to meet life's challenges.  And it doesn't have to be the biggies.  Sometimes one may just be lonely or have social anxiety.  I personally believe that good nutrition, less sweets, moderate exercise and putting oneself out there socially can be helpful. For some, therapy may be needed or even medication.  This support group should not be a replacement for therapy or medical care that one may need.

 

I welcome other posts from those who took a benzo to try and lower anxiety and who are now wishing to cope with anxiety better, rather than trying to eliminate it.

 

Vertigo (no more)

Vertigo....I can not thank you enough for starting this group...I am sure I will be on it every day for a few months. I am 3 months 2 weeks off...I was doing well and then, just as you said in your intro to this group....Bam...huge panic attack...preceeded by 3 days of pounding relentless palps and sky high b/p...trip to urgent care...reinstated at poor medical advice until I could see a cardiologist..reinstatement made everything worse...trip to er. Worst experience ever..I was prescribed beta block....very low dose ( 12.5)...have helped alot.

...I believe I am in acute ...as well as s/x flamed by reinstatement. ...Almost exactly as you described...morning anxiety/ mini panics...d/r...intrusive thoughts...nausea and hypochondria...just like mid-taper for me which lasted a good 6 weeks. So I am hunkering down again to ' allow ' the process...The one s/x I did not have in mid-taper was sky high b/p...so that one threw me into a tailspin so your explanation of that s/x sometimes being pronounced in acute is very reassuring to me. Thank you again.so much again. for starting this....and all the excellent information and support in the into....will be following ...( I do CBT,but love the ACT approach that you reference...I will be researching that author and his works)....blessings to you...coop

Vertigo....I can not thank you enough for starting this group...I am sure I will be on it every day for a few months. I am 3 months 2 weeks off...I was doing well and then, just as you said in your intro to this group....Bam...huge panic attack...preceeded by 3 days of pounding relentless palps and sky high b/p...trip to urgent care...reinstated at poor medical advice until I could see a cardiologist..reinstatement made everything worse...trip to er. Worst experience ever..I was prescribed beta block....very low dose ( 12.5)...have helped alot.

...I believe I am in acute ...as well as s/x flamed by reinstatement. ...Almost exactly as you described...morning anxiety/ mini panics...d/r...intrusive thoughts...nausea and hypochondria...just like mid-taper for me which lasted a good 6 weeks. So I am hunkering down again to ' allow ' the process...The one s/x I did not have in mid-taper was sky high b/p...so that one threw me into a tailspin so your explanation of that s/x sometimes being pronounced in acute is very reassuring to me. Thank you again.so much again. for starting this....and all the excellent information and support in the into....will be following ...( I do CBT,but love the ACT approach that you reference...I will be researching that author and his works)....blessings to you...coop

 

Thanks for your post Coop.  Sorry you've been struggling with acute withdrawal, but yes, much of what you posted sounds quite normal for acute phase. Sometimes one wants some reassurance with medical input.  I also went to urgent care too when I had my setback at 9 months, the return of elevated BP after too much excitement in my first summer off the benzo .  I chose not to go on the beta blocker but some find it calming.  I just didn't want to get on another medication.  Others find that it helps.  So far not too many have posted on this thread, maybe because there is designated anxiety section on forum.  Nevertheless, maybe others will weigh in.  Had you had panic before?  I never had and it just appeared out of nowhere on those two occasions in the first six months off.  I think it helped that I was able to diffuse it quickly (ACT technique).  How was your pre benzo anxiety?

 

 

Vertigo

Good thread.  I am six no the off and the first four to five months I really had an amped up anxiety.  I feel like I have now settled into my preexisting anxiety that got me onto the meds in the first place.  Actually, in some ways I am doing better because I have learned it is temporary, I can ride it out much better, and I have learned some coping techniques such as

Deep breathing - doesn't always work but helps calm down the big ones

Writing -  write down why you know it is anxiety and why you know it won't hurt you.  Writing makes it more concrete and solidifies it better than thinking.

NRP swoosh technique - there is one version that really seems to resonate for me

Acceptance - still learning lol but if you can accept you are having a moment and don't dwell or fret or give it attention it is more likely to fade.

 

I am sure there are others and I will post if I think of it.  In the meantime good thread

Vertigo...I think once people catch on to the fact that there is a support group as well as the anxiety topic board they will participate. Anxiety is such a prevelant worrisome s/x....all the way through for some of us, we need as much support and information as we can get.

.....I had never had a panic attack until I experienced sudden onset vertigo from an undiagnosed ear condition 3 years ago. I went straight to er and was given Valium ....with a prescription of Xanax to take at home.I had a paradoxical reaction to the Xanax and was switched to ativan at a whopping 2mg/day dose.I thought it was a miracle drug and took it happily...and naively. I experienced interdose s/x and tolerance within 6 months.My physician misdiagnosed underlying anxiety disorder...z.I first tried to go off uninformed and had a complete meltdown In June of last year I jumped the first mg and found BBs and the Ashton M.after researching the drug on the net. ...Did a direct taper from June to Dec..

  ..My end taper and first month off was manageable. The third month has been very difficult with anxiety being the worst ...pretty much constant.

....My anxiety pre- benzos was nothing at all like anything I have experienced while on tapering or recovering from ativan. I was always high energy and somewhat of a worrier ....I have always had a flying and hospital phobia..  but I really had no idea what anxiety was until ativan became a part of my life...and acute is proving to be more difficult than I anticipated with anxiety driving my hypochondria. I wouldn't have come this far without BBs I am keeping my sights on month 6 ( June)...hoping for better days by then.

...well that is a very long blah blah blah answer to your question (tapping out hours of words on my screen really helps keep me distracted from the looping thoughts of health fear) I know it is all Benzo because I get sunbreaks ( and had nice windows in end taper). but in a wave the hypochondria can be very convincing and relentless. Distraction is my best ally in a wave.

  Thanks again Vertigo....this is a much needed support group...you are offering a huge encouragement to those of us crawling through this any way we can.It is so caring of you to stay on the forum after you have recovered. We so need the support of those healed....  coop

Cir ...can you tell me more about NRP and Swoosh.? ...Glad to hear that after month 5 you are St your baseline anxiety...and that the battle of w/d and recovery has yeilded strategies for combating anxiety without medication. ...Hoping to get there myself

...I seem to experience weakness with some of my anxiety states...kind of like d/r ...a sinking feeling.. did you experience similar feeling?

.......Glad to see you here, Cir .....wishing you bright long windows and continued progress fiorward.  ....coop

I got it all wrong lol.  It is the NLP Swish technique.  There are others that use colors and stuff, but this one uses you envisioning yourself doing something successfully.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk_bbhMyQSU

 

Yes, I get the DR feeling, coupled with dizziness, sinking slipping emotionally and physically.  During acute wd it seemed to have a mind of it's own, but now if I deep breath, continue what I was doing and ignore it like a whining child, it seems to fade away pretty quickly.  As I get further along I have found that if I think about, focus on, worry about, pay attention yo, any of the sxs then they grow and persist, but if I don't then they go away.  They crave attention lol. 

 

For instance - dizziness.  Before if I was dizzy I would sit down.  I would get upset that I was dizzy, then I would get worried, then I wonder if I could stand, then I would worry if I could walk, then I would worry if I left the house, etc etc.  The dizziness would not go away because I was giving validation to it "I am dizzy and I had to stop what I was doing and worry about it or look it up on BB and I couldn't leave my seat - therefore tricky brain you were right it was something serious".  Now if I get dizzy I try to keep doing what I was doing and if it is bad enough I will grab a slip of paper and write "You have been dizzy hundreds of times and you have never fallen or passed out or wrecked the car.  You have had medical tests that show it does not have a physical cause.  You may be dizzy but you allow the anxiety and worry about it to let it continue.  It is anxiety pure and simple and your anxious response is a choice"  or something along those lines or whatever strikes me.

 

This writing really worked with me for situational issues.  For instance I could be feeling great all day but have to drive or go into a store.  I would get dizzy, short of breath, weak legs, heart racing, etc and I would almost always allow worry over it being a medical condition to consume me and inevitably go to the Urgent Care at some point.  I started keeping a notebook with me to wrote down before doing these things "You have felt XYZ dozens of times and worried it was a medical condition.  You have had medical tests that show it is not.  You have been feeling great today and if you do (this event) and you feel any of XYZ symptoms, then it is just anxiety.  Withdrawal or a medical condition does not just pop up in certain situations, they are always there, but situational anxiety does.  Therefore, if any of these things appear when you are doing this it is just anxiety, not a medical condition, and you can ride it out.  It is anxiety and only anxiety".  Again this can all be modified to suit you, longer or shorter, whatever situation, etc. 

 

But writing it down is key.  Thoughts get garbled.  Thoughts get twisted by our anxious brains.  Thoughts get spoken over top of by the worry.  But writing puts it in stone.  You have to think about writing, you have to see what you are writing, you physically have to write. 

 

I usually start with writing before I head out and practice the NLP technique to use in the middle of something when writing isn't possible (driving, in a store, with a client, etc).  Now I find I don't have to do these things all the time.  It is like I have proven to myself that it was only anxiety and I can ride it out so it has gone away.  And when it does crop up I just do it again.

 

 

Cir ..thank you for the information and encouragement....Today I tried to stay busy busy busy...rather than stay on the couch being afraid ...you are right not listening to the Benzo voice helps to not focus on the s/x....I did that successfully at mid-taper.

.....last night was very very difficult...no sleep...pounding lurching palps..near panic,  but I walked it back...b/p did not sky rocket...and the beta block cut the palps down...d/r throughout the first part of the day...Your ' whiney child ' example served me well. I visualized my anxiety and took it by the hand and lead it through my day.  .still scary but , I got through the day.One thing I notice is the 'it is so awful...wasn't that the scariest thing...etc etc internal dialoyge ...I need to change that and not ruminate.  ...Really hoping for a better day tomorrow. The false belief of heart attack k etc etc was less today...Rewally hoping acute lets up some at month 4...or 5

.....thanks again Cir. ...how are you doing with anxiety/pa I. at this point today?

......wishing you peaceful days...coop

 

Doing much better.  Again, my thoughts would always run wild.  I started a thread about how my thoughts turn to panic.  This is why writing really helps.  We don't even realize how far we let our thoughts run wild sometimes.  Writing helps catch it in the bud, and focus on the reality.  Try it.  Grab pen and paper and right why you know it isn't harmful and why you know it is just panic.  I have been there.  So afraid to even move from the couch for fear of shortness of breath, chest pressure, etc and just some unknown fear.....  Some of it is this drug.  Most of it is how we react.

I would definitely like to join the group!! I have been struggling with anxiety immensely post withdrawal. My fears are worse than the physical anxiety symptoms. I posted earlier that I want to start going to the gym again but the coat racks are too far away from the doors for me so not only can I not walk that far away from the exit to put my jacket away, but I then go into "what if" mode where I wonder what would happen if I start to panic and need to leave immediately- my jacket would be too far away to go get and it would end up getting left there, which would automatically give me the feeling of being trapped. Very frustrating- I am hoping that this goes away as I continue in my recovery but my biggest fear in all of this is that these crazy irrational fears are actually real and not benzo induced

Cowgirl, welcome.  I know exactly how you feel.  I have been there. 

 

Could go in a small store but a larger store was too far from the door and heaven forbid I have to walk to the back...

Have a gym membership but scared to death to get my heart rate up or pass out on the treadmill.

Ok to drive locally but afraid to go long distances.

Ok to walk near my house but pure panic when I turn the corner on my sidewalk and get further away.

And on and on.......

 

It gets better if you work at it.  See some of my tips above and also check out paniccenter.net. I think they are helping me

wow yes that sounds exactly like me. I will definitely check out that website. It has been far too long since I have been able to go to any stores, if I didn't have such a good support system I wouldn't be able to go grocery shopping or get anything from a large store for that matter. I am also going to check out the video you posted, and the writing method sounds like it really could help. I can tell myself a million times that I am OK but the thoughts that I actually won't be OK quickly take over, sounds like writing might really help

Vertigo...I did read your post on How My Thoughts Turn To Panic. . Loved the writing and the concept. It was very helpful to me...forgive me, but I thought some of it was so humorous. That is exactly bow my panics go...a s/x ..fear...a bigger s/x..fear...2-3. S/x...panic, however some panics just descend on me out of the blue...but the progression is the same...the panic just feeds itself.Thanks again so much Vertigo...this is a great thread.

....My wave is lifting.  The b/p is back to normal and even a little sub normal ( although a little high in the morning on waking up ( cortisol?). ..also lavendar Epson salts baths have bee. cry helpful. I posted more on my progress journal ...( Progress Journal...Goodnight Moon Girl.).. I thought people are probably sick of all my frantic horahrah posts from last week).

....Cowgirl.  things will get better.  they really will...Believe. me, I know how hard that is to trust when you are right in the thick of things...Come on BBs ...as often as you need to...or want to for support. There are so many knowledgeable caring people on here to see through you through the bad moments. Read the success stories...a lot..gives you a balanced perspective.

.....hold on CG...you will get there...wishing you better days and peace and comfort...coop

Cir. ....sorry I refereanced your writing to Vertigo...the thoughts to panic loop that you wrote was so helpful to me and helped me understand that cascading faster than lightening progression of panic ....without the science details that I don't understand. ...best to you Cir.... coop

Hi Vertigo, this is a great topic.  I admit, my anxiety has gotten out of control I'm not sure if it's just the Xanax, my age, or what, but I really don't want anxiety.  It is such a tough thing to combat. 

 

Would you mind posting a link to where you wrote about how your thoughts turn to panic.  I just went through an acute period where my thoughts definitely turned to panic and I seemed to be helping them along.  Why does the brain do that?  Why doesn't it have a mechanism to help us with our thoughts?  Instead, the natural thing most people do is focus on the symptom and how bad it feels and it escalates from there.  I know it does for me.  I found CBT to not be very helpful, but maybe it was the therapist. 

 

Writing was very hard for me in acute, my handwriting was all scribbly because my hands were shaky.  I HATE anxiety!  Hence the Xanax.  Actually the Xanax I took mostly for sleep and then when anxiety started getting worse (tolerance?) I started taking Xanax during the day sporadically and from there had a total breakdown and became unfunctional. 

 

I'm all ears for tips on anxiety, mostly I wish I was just a calmer person.  My husband doesn't have an anxious bone in his body.  Oh how I wish I was like him!  But I'm not, so I must learn how to deal with this.

 

Hugs to all,

 

Rabbit

Hi Vertigo, this is a great topic.  I admit, my anxiety has gotten out of control I'm not sure if it's just the Xanax, my age, or what, but I really don't want anxiety.  It is such a tough thing to combat. 

 

Would you mind posting a link to where you wrote about how your thoughts turn to panic.  I just went through an acute period where my thoughts definitely turned to panic and I seemed to be helping them along.  Why does the brain do that?  Why doesn't it have a mechanism to help us with our thoughts?  Instead, the natural thing most people do is focus on the symptom and how bad it feels and it escalates from there.  I know it does for me.  I found CBT to not be very helpful, but maybe it was the therapist. 

 

Writing was very hard for me in acute, my handwriting was all scribbly because my hands were shaky.  I HATE anxiety!  Hence the Xanax.  Actually the Xanax I took mostly for sleep and then when anxiety started getting worse (tolerance?) I started taking Xanax during the day sporadically and from there had a total breakdown and became unfunctional. 

 

I'm all ears for tips on anxiety, mostly I wish I was just a calmer person.  My husband doesn't have an anxious bone in his body.  Oh how I wish I was like him!  But I'm not, so I must learn how to deal with this.

 

Hugs to all,

 

Rabbit

 

Hi Rabbit.  The technique is called diffusion in ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).  An easy read is "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris.  I believe several diffusion techniques are mentioned.  Also, the Body Scan/mindfulness can also be used to diffuse to become more present and not let some sensations "freak one out".  I may have discussed some of this on my Success Thread or the other support group thread I started back in 2010 when I was having some of these acute symptoms.  Check the Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group thread also here in the support group section of forum.  There are some good posts from many folks who had a variety of issues in that first six months to a year off.

 

Best,

 

Vertigo