Anyone else get worsening depression on benzos/tolerance?

I’ve been trying to think more and more about my life and how I felt at certain points before and during benzo use. I do believe the longer I was benzos, the more depressed I became, and even more so once I hit tolerance for years, tapered and post jump (8 months)

 

Can anyone relate? Did benzos cause/worsen depression like this?

Hello, yes i can relate to it.

I am also facing this problem.

When we are taking benzo, it sort of suppressed our thoughts making us comfort.

However, once hit the tolerance things get worsen .

Our mind will take time to heal and try not to stress yourself .

You’ll get better and don’t over think this is what i tell myself

Thank you. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Message me anytime. Were you depressed before benzos?

It very common for depression to become more intense during withdrawal.  I've seen it suggested that withdrawal seems to find whatever vulnerabilities we had prior to benzos and takes them to another level.  I hope you're able to find a way to distract yourself as you continue to heal and that things ease up for you soon. 

yes indeed...very sever depression like never before once I started tapering. Currently, it is my most challenging symptom.  I don't want to go down the road of adding an AD med, but I am tempted sometimes.  Depression has a  lot of components sad is just one of them..lack of motivation, thoughts of death, anger, irritability, insomnia, appetite changes, intrusive thoughts.

Try and hang in there, I know it is so painful, I actually feel sick in my stomach, like a dread cavern some days.

I’m just so worried this is pre-existing, but it’s so hard to remember because I was prescribed at age 11 and am 30 now

Hi fellow sufferers of depression

I feel I need to share some solidarity with you all… this is soul crushing and I’m doing everything you talked about… trying to figure out if this is ME.. my normal state. I was given Ativan at 29 years old so a lot to reconstruct.  I did find a post by Groovejuice??? that has helped this morning… he tried everything including ECT to escape his depression… I don’t think anything worked.  And it did go away for him…. Just like everyone says.    I’m sooo tempted to try something and I have tried Elavil and Lexapro… I feel I need to wait it out… when I catch those rare windows I can’t make my mind feel this bad.  This is a depression like none other I think.  I feel like if we make it out we’ll be the strongest people ever because we’ve relived every horror that we could possibly imagine in vivid magnified form… normal sadness/depression will be a peace of cake compared to this.  But dang I’m hanging on by a thread in the meantime… and don’t let my almost 18 months off scare you… I took Ativan every single day for 30 years…

You guys are in my heart and I’m with you

Feelingfire

Hi fellow sufferers of depression

I feel I need to share some solidarity with you all… this is soul crushing and I’m doing everything you talked about… trying to figure out if this is ME.. my normal state. I was given Ativan at 29 years old so a lot to reconstruct.  I did find a post by Groovejuice??? that has helped this morning… he tried everything including ECT to escape his depression… I don’t think anything worked.  And it did go away for him…. Just like everyone says.    I’m sooo tempted to try something and I have tried Elavil and Lexapro… I feel I need to wait it out… when I catch those rare windows I can’t make my mind feel this bad.  This is a depression like none other I think.  I feel like if we make it out we’ll be the strongest people ever because we’ve relived every horror that we could possibly imagine in vivid magnified form… normal sadness/depression will be a peace of cake compared to this.  But dang I’m hanging on by a thread in the meantime… and don’t let my almost 18 months off scare you… I took Ativan every single day for 30 years…

You guys are in my heart and I’m with you

Feelingfire

 

Hi ♥️ did you have depression before benzos?

Bless this mess,

I don’t remember having depression…. I have never ever felt this before.

I was getting depressed at different times being on the benzo and in tolerance but I can’t say being on the Lexapro helped me.  I could always get busy or exercise and it helped.  Now nothing seems to help.

And it’s awful. I would take an antidepressant in a second if it would help… but I can’t make this worse so now I’m scared to try anything.  Have you tried anything?

Fire

I think the longer I've stayed on it (intermittent) the more dug in background depression became.  Each of the major episodes I have experienced happened around major life events.  a death when I was 21, postpartum (hormones involved), divorce, another death (or series), menopause/empty nest (here now).  So its very interesting to look back and try to map it all out.  But I don't want to get stuck I want to move forward.  I think we all go through similar stages and happenings, it is a part of being human.  I am fairly angry that I did not know I'd have trouble not taking this med off and on for anxiety/panic disorder.  And now I'm again re learning how to deal with these issues using my own skills (breathing, changing thought process, self care, etc).  I am a whole lot more than anything this medication was trying to mask.  Oh and educate as many people as I can on better ways to deal with common life events so they may not suffer as most of us are now. 

Well said stingRae

This feels like a very chemical depression to me… nothing like I’ve ever felt in my life… and I walk and distract like we all try and do… I’m just trying to hang on and wait for more healing. I just want everyone to know they are not alone going through this… hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and at 60 I’ve seen and experienced a few things… this tops it all. 

Fire

StingRae, if you don’t mind me asking are you on buspirone and is it helping?

Fire

I am not on Buspirone.  I tried it for 5 days.  It had a calming effect, I don't think it required a buildup.... But it gave me very intense one sided ear ringing.  So I discontinued it with no problems.  I am about 3 weeks on Trintellix, an "atypical" AD.  It increased anxiety slightly but that is lessening now.  Just had follow up and going to increase that as it is helping with the depression.  In therapy, doing a lot of walking.  This depression is no joke.  I was scared to take it and scared not to.  Hopefully it will help get me through the taper, allow me to get my coping skills in order before someday coming off of it as well.    What.a.mess this all is, isn't it? 

StingRae,

Thank you for responding… I also tried it for 9 days and then I got scared and stopped.  I did think it said it takes a few weeks for effectiveness… idk.  But it wasn’t bad for me… didn’t make me worse. But I’ve never heard of the atipical that you are taking… I’ll look it up.  And you’re exactly right … scared to take something and scared not to… very tough spot.  You are doing great on your taper it looks like.  I was an idiot and wouldn’t listen to advice to slow down.  I’m not doing this process a second time in my life that’s for sure so I’m trying to stay the course and do all the things we know to do… try at least. And it helps to read stories that say it all goes away…

And pray and hang on

Godspeed to you all

Fire

I'm back here revisiting this thread because...  I'm crying a lot.  I think I'm overall a lot more calm as far as anxiety.  My thoughts are getting into the worry mode about how honestly depressing the timeline is.  I thought I had accepted that.  I also am exploring hormones effect and am going to try HRT.  I live alone and the silence in the house really reinforces the loneliness.  And I'm just sad.  I have to stay away from thoughts and worries about the future.  So then I feel stuck.  I take myself to the park and do a lot of walking and I'd say that helps.  And sure enough sometimes I get a day where I can feel "happy" then I get slammed back to this the next day.  I'm still seeking what I can "do" about this and find a solution and that in itself is just frustrating.  I hope everyone is having a decent weekend.  I'm going to head out for a walk and hope something will lift to give me a break from this sadness. 

StingRae, I'm so sorry you're suffering like this.  I'm glad you're getting out and walking and that it's helping lift your mood a little. I know how exhausting it is to wake up each morning and feel like you have to start all over again. 

I'm wondering if you've tried using a light box, the kind used for seasonal affective disorder (SAD) - some people find light therapy really helpful this time of year.

I know it's really hard when you're feeling low - it often goes hand in hand with low energy - but I hope you can find ways to distract yourself from thoughts about the timeline for withdrawal.  Distraction and trying to stay in the present moment can be your best allies.  And please keep reaching out for support. 

Hi BrighterDay,  Even seeing your name makes me feel better!  I DO notice when the days are gloomy (last 2 days here) I am worse.  Its been cold too.  Today the sun is out.  When the sun is out I spend several sessions outside sitting in it, and looking up at the sky and sungazing.  Those things definitely do help.  Historically I have taken a dip into gloomy in the winter.  I don't know how people in northern climates handle any of this stuff.  I'm lucky I live where I do and I suppose it is one of those things I'm very sensitive to (lack of sunlight).  Thank you for writing a message.  Today is one of those days....

Here's an example of a light box in case you want to try one on those gloomy gray days: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00K08ZDBI/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Things will get better.

I never had depression before benzos, even after getting divorced after 26 years and loosing my house and kid and wife i didnt have much depression. Its just not my bag, my thing is anxiety and boy did i have alot of it. What ive noticed is here i am 6 months after divorce everythings fine yet the depression sometimes is horrible. And i KNOW its from the benzos. I hate that shit, i am getting off these things and never taking another one again. They cause every symptom in the book plus 100 you never thought of

Every since the internet has exploded with info and to see how little - very very little most Doctors really know about the realities of what these drugs they prescribe us like candy - they more I study every thing I take and even Benadryl OTC can help easily cause a major medical fatal issue called serotonin syndrome and too many taken with SSRI-s and anything that boosts the serotonin levels including nature.

 

Depending on your medical insurance or financial status its good to get a full blood panel including Vitamin D-  Ferrous sulfate (helps with Iron- Ends up supplements help restless legs.

 

Lots of Meds including some of the ones we are all talking about and taking really for symptoms we get via script ends up Vitamin D really gets effected by lots of Meds. Low Vitamin D causes total depression and is natural from the sun and Milk and Salmon and OJ but I still have to take D3 supplements.

 

Then we are prescribed another pill- Doctors cant AND NEVER will know everything so ask their advice- the pharmacists and then come to the internet and be proactive and research from good sources- this is a link- just punch in everything you take and eat and its appalling. And its call the Medical Practice as its just that- they are always learning too. https://www.drugs.com/interaction/list/?drug_list=703-357https://www.drugs.com/interaction/list/?drug_list=703-357 They should have withdrawal techniques before the dispense drugs.

 

 

i started with my first sleep prescription in 89 and that lead to a bazillion of other meds to counter this and that etc--- many are really needed but some seem redundant and eventually they are OTC and then new ones come out.

 

 

The depression from benzos can be extreme, i was out playing pickleball yesterday i just couldnt stand being in this house any longer...when all of a sudden BAM i had such bad depression it was crazy. THAT is def from benzos. HOw in the middle of a game on a court could you get hit with horrible depression idk but it happened. I rode it out and it went away thank god. Even if i dont sleep, even if i wound up drinking that morning because of it, even if is horrendous depression and anxiety i StILL try to get out and play pickelball and mingle with people. I might be feeling like hell, but id rather be getting some form of exercise and feeling like hell with no sleep then just sitting here in this apartment by myself feeling like this.

Hi Spitfire, I saw your post as "new" and it sure was interesting reading our posts going back to January.  I have a go to walking spot I run off to when the walls start closing in on me.  I think I am going to go there in a few minutes.  I've gone from a lot of daily crying to kind of a flat feeling.  I guess that is progress. 

My depression got so bad I wound up in a mental hospital for it. I was desperate for relief and had 6 ECT sessions until I realized my memory was being affected. At which point - I opted out and refused to continue with the next 6 sessions I was supposed to have. I came home and did the best that I could but never was it mentioned by the doc there it could be the benzos I was taking. Suffered for years but that's a whole other story right now. See my signature where I speak of being in the hospital again and how that went.

Hi mowgli..  Are you feeling any better?  I am keeping track of depression/anxiety symptoms and when I'm having a rough patch I can look where I am in taper and look back at previous reductions and see that this is just the last cut... Hang on will be better soon.    This last cut was a little extreme but I'm dealing with crumbs so I removed the morning dose all together.  Will hold here for a good while.  I hope you are feeling better. 

I'm having the blues again - figured I'd post here.  I did feel a little accomplishment going back up and reading my own post from January.  How far I've come.  For some reason I can not get it in my head that the depression will continue.  I guess I was hoping that it would lessen as my dose got smaller.  Maybe it is the opposite.