Can ANYONE help me out?

Can anyone help me out with trying to get off Ativan?

 

My body is addicted to two benzos. One is prescribed to me and the other is not.

 

I know I put myself in this mess and I’m trying to fix it without burdening my family, friends…

 

I’m prescribed Xanax. I tried to cross taper the Ativan using my Xanax. My body is already used to this regimen I’m on of both. 2.5 mg Xanax and 2 mg Ativan per day.

 

Every time I try to stop the Ativan by 1:1 ratio supplementing with the Xanax, I get withdrawals. It doesn’t even seem to take days anymore for the heart palps, the depression, the brain fog and anxiety/panic to kick in. It only takes a few hours.

 

It’s probably exactly the same as trying to taper it without cross-tapering.

 

I’m so lost that I’m wondering if I should go to detox. I know I’ll lose my job, I’ll put unnecessary strain on my family, I’m trying to do this mostly on my own. My PDoc will not put me on two benzos at the same time.

 

I have so much of the Xanax, and I never know when the Ativan will stop being available to me.

 

Has anyone ever gone through this?

 

I’ve been on Xanax for 10 years and Ativan for about 3.

To clarify: I am planning a full taper of both, but I need to get this demon Ativan out of my system first.

 

Every time I try to stop the Ativan by 1:1 ratio supplementing with the Xanax, I get withdrawals.

 

Since Xanax is about twice the strength of Ativan, I'm not surprised you don't feel well.  Can you tell us in more detail what you've tried?  How often do you dose, are you cutting dry cutting your pills? What strength are you Ativan tablets and what are your Xanax?  This information would be really handy to have in your signature so we won't have to ask questions, we can see at a glance what we need to know.  Add  your history/signature

 

Any other medications and have you stopped benzodiazepines in the past?

Hey Pamster,

 

Thanks for the tip, I fixed my signature as best I could within the word count limit.

 

I am trying to taper the Ativan, not the Xanax (at the moment).

 

I have 1 mg tablets of Xanax. This is what my doctor supplies me with.

 

And I currently have 2 mg tablets of Ativan. Not my prescription, doctor does not know about this.

 

I do understand that Xanax is stronger than Ativan, but I’ve learned quickly that the body can withdraw from the Ativan even in the presence of Xanax. They are similar in profile but the body does recognize them as two separate drugs in the system.

 

Right now I am leaving the 2.5 mg of Xanax in the day alone. I take that and I don’t mess around with that dosing.

 

I’ve tried to cut the Ativan 2 mg at night in half. I’ve done 1 mg Ativan and 1 mg Xanax to trick my body with the presence of two benzos. I’ve tried 1.5 mg Ativan and 0.5 mg Xanax with the same feeling. Heart palps that keep me up at night, anxiety, depression, fear that I won’t be able to function at work. It’s definitely withdrawal because I “just don’t feel right” as someone put. The heart palpitations scare me the most. I’m wondering how much damage I’m doing to my heart.

 

I don’t have the ability or luxury of taking medical leave. It’s unpaid, and I have to pay my bills. I’m alone in this.

 

Since my body and brain are addicted to Ativan no matter how much Xanax I attempt to replace it with (they have bound to their own receptors, one cannot just replace the other so easily), I’m going to try scales and shave down 5% of the Ativan pills per month or for however long it takes.

 

I can’t keep putting my body into a state of shock like this in vain.

 

I am ashamed to say that before November 2022, I was just taking all precaution to the wind and taking whatever without thinking about it. December through February were hell, physically and emotionally. So many panic attacks, such awful depression. Nothing felt good. Barely watched TV. Music that I once loved, I couldn’t stand. Everything triggered my panic. Insomnia that would come and go. Even at work, at times my long shifts (12 hours a day) I was so anxious, crawling in my skin. Not wanting to socialize. Wanting to get up and run when others wanted to chat. It took a lot to regiment myself to this new schedule.

 

1.5 mg Xanax in the morning

1 mg Xanax around 3-4pm

2 mg Ativan around 730-830pm

 

I can finally sleep, my moods have stabilized, I’m not always depressed and tearful or going out of my mind.

 

I’m just very sad that I’m taking Ativan. I wish I could turn back time and never have taken even one pill of it. The fact that it isn’t my prescription makes me feel bad, I have poor self image because of that. So while I’ve tapered my Xanax to 2.5 mg a day (my script is for 4 mg a day), it means nothing to me until I don’t need the Ativan anymore.

 

I thought of using scales to taper 5% a month. It doesn’t seem as daunting. Shaving a pill might sound easier than it is? I’m not sure.

 

I spoke to my doctor about titrating over to Ativan (I did not tell him I was already stuck on it). He won’t prescribe two benzos at once. He offered to prescribe me 2 mg Xanax and 2 mg Ativan for two weeks, and then completely switch to Ativan. That was all he was willing to do. That just seems like a recipe for disaster. He thinks these things are “all in my head” and “mind over matter”… He thinks these withdrawals are nonsensical and it’s all about being optimistic and staying mentally strong.

 

My gut is telling me not to just switch completely over to Ativan in 2 weeks time.

 

So that’s my story. Sorry for it being so long winded.

 

 

Interesting, I wasn't aware different benzodiazepines bind to different receptors but I see there is a study which suggests this may have some validity although it appears to be limited. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6102643/#:~:text=Nearly%20all%20of%20the%20clinically,%CE%B15%2Dcontaining%20GABAA%20receptors.  I do understand the different effects both drugs have so I can understand why you're feeling the loss of the Ativan.

 

Thanks by the way for providing so much information.

 

I’ve tried to cut the Ativan 2 mg at night in half. I’ve done 1 mg Ativan and 1 mg Xanax to trick my body with the presence of two benzos. I’ve tried 1.5 mg Ativan and 0.5 mg Xanax with the same feeling.

 

I'm surprised you felt these symptoms when according to the tables you raised your dose to the equivalent of 3 mgs Ativan.  https://clincalc.com/Benzodiazepine/  Regardless of what the tables show us, you reacted and that's what we need to work with.

 

Are you more interested in crossing your Ativan to Xanax or tapering the Ativan?  I sense your discomfort being on the non prescribed medication so a cross to Xanax seems the more desirable option.  If you did want to cross completely over to Ativan, the half life of Xanax is so short, you could do it in far less time than crossing to Valium.  One of my concerns about switching to Ativan is your doctor may not get your equivalency correct, it can vary from person to person.

 

I know I haven't addressed all of your concerns, so lets keep talking. 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you searched for a benzo wise doctor in your area? You could do very well with a provider that is willing to listen, understand, see that you genuinely want to come off, and not hold the non prescribed use against you. You're right -- you do need to consolidate onto one med, stabilize, then taper from there.

 

I don't have the experience or knowledge that senior contributors have, but keep the conversation going. Return to the forums and follow-up. Use your resources.

Hello,

 

I ended up having massive panic attacks over this and went to an ER. Told the doctor what I was doing (a psych doctor). She wasn’t happy about it, really said some harsh truths. But told me that whether Xanax or Ativan, “they’re basically the same thing.” The judgment was harsh. I haven’t taken an Ativan since last Wednesday and I’m taking 4.5 mg of Xanax now. I have to cut it to 4 mg as soon I can. I wanted to give my body a few days to adjust to no Ativan present. I’m really feeling anxious today and didn’t sleep well last night at all. Brain fog and confusion were very terrible this morning.

 

I’ve also decided to take a leave of absence from work until I feel better.

 

The doctor instructed me to make 0.5mg cuts every two weeks of my Xanax. She said this is a really long taper but it doesn’t seem that way. Do this until I’ve weaned myself off.

 

I’m very frightened. I’ve already started to catastrophize. Anticipating not working ever again. Never feeling good again. I’m not sure why at 4.5 mg of Xanax, I still feel terrible. My body is craving Ativan I guess. And I’m grieving routine and stability. The life I once lived - working a job I once loved, driving, staying at my house (I’m back home with my family at the moment), feeling alive. Part of me wants to just go to detox and get it over with in 10 days.

 

I know this would be hard whether I’m taking 5 mg or 0.5 mg. The tapers are never going to be easy. And I know I’m going to basically shock my system the minute I cut down to 4 mg of Xanax. But I’m telling myself not to get too caught up in my head about it and just power through. If something happens, something happens. What can I do?

Is the doctor who is suggesting this taper your prescribing doctor?

Hi,

 

No. This was the psych doctor in the ER that I went to.

 

She did not tell my prescribing doctor what I was doing. And I don’t even know how to tell my doctor either. She just said, stop the Ativan. Take an equal dose of what you were taking with an equal dose of your prescription (roundabout 4.5 mg but every now and then I cheated).

 

She said just take your 4 mg prescription Xanax and taper down 0.5 mg every two weeks to get off the drug. I honestly want to just get to 4 mg of Xanax and keep going if I can. I can probably stabilize every two weeks in between cuts. I’ll probably start the day tomorrow with 1 mg Xanax instead of 1.5 mg or I will eventually run out.

 

If my prescriber knew what I was doing, he would stop prescribing me right away. She did not like my prescribing doctor for putting me on so much Xanax giving me 120 pills every 6 weeks, an opportunity to abuse it. I suppose she’s right because I developed tolerance and that is what I did.  She said I have enough benzodiazepine in me to not have a seizure at 4 mg Xanax which I suppose is my fear right now. But honestly, whatever happens happens.

 

The irony of it all is that I finally have enough Ativan to have done a long taper when I was super stable at 2.5 mg Xanax and 2 mg Ativan.  But now I’m asking myself, what’s the point of reinstating? Might as well keep going. Anything can happen. Do I want to go through this all over again?

Have you taken the leave of absence yet, are you functional enough to still work?

I am officially on FMLA as of last Thursday. I don’t think I can work. I need this break, I’m exhausted. I’m having panic attacks, was having anxiety before even going off the Ativan when I was playing around with doses. My body just had too much medicine I think in it, or it simply wasn’t working for me anymore. My body doesn’t know how to calm itself down. I’m also going to go back on Zoloft 25 mg. That worked well for me in the past and my doctor did prescribe it. I am certainly depressed, my life changed a lot in the last year.

 

Fatigue, insomnia, depression, a separation and lack of support and now structure. I wanted to work but I have a months worth of time off. Maybe things will change.

 

I have to stay strong and believe that I’m the one in control, not the medicine. I can only try to do this. I’ll figure it out.

 

I keep telling myself I only have to worry about half a milligram right now. Not the whole 4. Just a half. Power through.

Yes, you can only eat that elephant one bite at a time, its important to break this down into manageable chunks.

You seem to put a lot of pressure on yourself. I know it's hard not to -- I did (and do), and maybe most of us did (or do), but try to break that cycle. I feel as though one of my greatest points of headway was to accept this... no matter how hard it is to develop a mindset of acceptance.

 

Self compassion is your greatest asset. Stay where you're at, stop playing with dosages, stabilize, get in a better position, then ssllowwww taper. Tapering is likely the hardest thing any of us will ever do (it has been for me, for sure), but managing it in pieces will do you wonders not only for your mental health, but also for your quality of life and overall satisfaction and happiness.