Please anybody help me!! Just want to give up.

Hi everyone ❤️ I feel so bad. I went from 2,5mg of diazepam to 2 mg. This is my third day with only 2mg. I did not know it would be that big of a difference. I am feeling so bad. Nerve pain and muscle pain. As I wrote before my right Achilles reflex does not work as good as the other one and I am so scared I have developed a nerve desease. Sorry I don’t speek or write in English so good so I am sorry if I’m hard to understand. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I really feel so bad. At night time i sometimes feel I can’t even breath and my pulse gets lower than normal for me, around 70-75pbm. It is a very scary feeling. What is happening with me??? My doctors don’t want to put me in an inside clinic to withdrawal and they almost don’t take me serious with my withdrawal saying a lot is in my head but it really is not!!! My legs hurt my Achilles hurt my upper back and lower back hurts. My heart skips a beat almost once a day, stiff muscles and muscle wastage. I feel like I am going crazy and thinking of giving up is something that is coming into my head but I refuse!!! I am just so scared I will never get healed or never get help I need. Please you guys what should I do??

Hi Girl, oh dear, I hear how much you are suffering. You sound frightened.

Looking at your taper schedule I see that you have reduced very quickly, very very quickly and I think that is why you are suffering so much. Your cuts have been massive! Much greater than the 10% that Ashton suggests.

Were you feeling alright on 2.5mg? Maybe you should go back on that for a while until you feel more stable. It doesn’t matter how long it takes to get to zero. You could stay at 2.5mg for a few weeks if necessary.

Then try a 10%  cut , so that would be reducing down to around 2.3mg.

 

Hope you feel better soon

Hardy

Hi Thegirlfb,

 

I’m sorry you feel so overwhelmed by withdrawal symptoms, but they are withdrawal symptoms and there’s nothing we haven’t seem before in your description. Although some members can taper at your rate without too much trouble, there are many who simply cannot. They have to go slower.

 

It is recommended that you make reductions from each current dose of 5-10% every 10-14 days. This means you recalculate that 5-10% at each new dose you reach as you taper down. It seems you are also making your cuts every 7 days which looks very much like it’s too fast for you. I would suggest holding at your current dose until you stabilise. Keep in mind that the more you push your taper rate and the more destabilised you become, the harder it can be to stabilise, meaning it can take longer to stabilise. So give your brain and body the time it needs to adjust. As you taper, your brain is making repairs, but if you go hard and fast, the brain can’t keep up with the repairs with such limited time between cuts, especially, it seems, with the size of your cuts. If you feel it is absolutely necessary, you do have the option of slightly updosing, waiting to stabilise, and then resuming your taper at a slower rate with smaller reductions, however, there is no guarantee you will stabilise any faster than if you just hold your current dose.

 

Many members experience what you describe… as being starved of breath, this is another withdrawal symptom along with the stiff muscles and overall pain throughout the body. I would suggest that you don’t have any kind of nerve disease, your symptoms are simply part of a long endless list of withdrawal symptoms that will subside considerably as you stabilise. I’ve also read many members claiming their heart often skipping a beat. I’m not a doctor, so I would never tell you to not have something like that checked out, however, I’m simply trying to ease some of the fear surrounding your current experience. Please keep in mind that ‘Fear’ itself is a common withdrawal symptom. It is common to have suicidal thoughts, but they are just thoughts, but there is a difference between having suicidal thoughts, and actually considering acting on them. If it got to that point, I would absolutely urge you to see your doctor and discuss what can be done. However, to reiterate, it is common to experience suicidal thoughts in withdrawal, especially when pushing your taper too fast which only increases symptom severity.

 

You will heal and make a complete recovery!

 

Here are a couple of links which may help to dispel some of the fear you are experiencing.

 

Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted

http://www.benzobuddies.org//forum/index.php?topic=87594.0

 

What’s happening inside your brain[/url

 

 

 

WS

 

 

Thank you both for your quick answer. I get so sad that my doctors are pushing me so hard! I almost feel ashamed telling them about how I feel because of how they react when I talk about it. I will see if I can talk to them tomorrow about keeping this dose on 2mg until I feel better, If I will feel better. I am so scared also because I have absolutely nobody to talk to. My own parents think I’m a burden and if I so much as even mention that I have pain they talk about their feet pain or tooth pain or whatever it may be. I get so sad at times but it is even hard to cry. Sick and tired of being in treated as if something is wrong with me. Except for my WD. I really do feel like a burden. I woke up at 4 at night and then fell asleep again until 8. I can almost sense in my body that I will not sleep good tonight. I get like this almost every taper. One hard thing about this is that my doctors say that street Xanax, that I took (not prescribed), are much less potent as prescribed Xanax. I guess it is true I only trust what they telling me. Therefore they tapered me (beginning on a low dose) and when I asked about the low dose, she (my doctor) said there is no importance of if it’s a low or high dose. I really have trouble understanding their way of tapering me. Anyway sorry for my confused writing just having lot’s of thoughts and no one that will listen. So thankful for each and every answer I get. You really help me to calm down! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I’m so sorry for how your doctors are treating you and misleading you. They are clearly not benzo wise doctors, and therefore cause more harm than they do good. I’m going to leave a link at the bottom of this post for you to read and print out. Take it to the doctor and show them. If they react negatively or abruptly and refuse to read it, which many do, I suggest you leave it on their desk or on your seat when you leave. They just may peak at it when you’re not there because their ego won’t feel like it’s under fire from a patient suggesting they may not know as much as they think they do.

 

You are not a burden, you just have a lack of understanding around you. When I cut too fast and symptoms overwhelmed me, I also spent all my time discussing how I felt about one symptom or another to the point that I would say to people “I know it seems this is all I talk about.”

 

The above is a very good sign that you need to ‘hold’ now and allow yourself however long it takes to stabilise. Things will look very different once you stabilise.

 

You are not alone, you have us, and we know what you are going through, or, at least as close to understanding as anyone possibly could. So lean on us, that’s what we’re here for!

 

We’re here for you!

 

Be gentle and loving towards yourself, and just ‘know’ that you will get through this! You will heal!

 

Here’s that link.

 

(Please print it out and take it to the doctor, and if they fob you off, do exactly as I suggested…)

 

Colorado Consortium Benzodiazepine Deprescribing Guidance

 

WS

 

P.S. It would also suggest you start looking for a benzo wise doctor as a back up. They are out there, so search one out by whatever means you have at your disposal.

 

 

Thank you so much for your advice! It means so much. Do you know if seizure is something I have to worry about at my current dose? Im almost scared to write it but I have never had one yet thank God! How is it going for you? ❤️

Thank you so much for your advice! It means so much. Do you know if seizure is something I have to worry about at my current dose? Im almost scared to write it but I have never had one yet thank God! How is it going for you? ❤️

 

They are quite rare unless you have a history of seizures, so I really wouldn’t be overly concerned. Keep in mind, as I mentioned earlier, the fear of your symptoms is actually a symptom in itself.

 

I’m doing quite well now, but that’s because I allowed enough time to stabilise, and this is what I also want for you. ❤️

I wanted to add that your heart rate of 70-75 is perfectly normal.  Good luck to you..

Hi Thegirlfb,

 

so sorry to hear you are in a bad place. I think I speak for everyone we just want you (and ourselves) not to suffer. First order of business would be to stabilize in my opinion.

 

I do tend to stray a little bit from Winters sun: I think a symptom based taper might pose less challenges; no need to set a time when you will reduce. Some people, like myself, tend to feel so much better once they hold. But not everyone is so "lucky"; for those who keep having symptoms the only way to get better is to keep a certain pace in their taper.

 

Finally, I want to point out the following. Personal experience has made me realize low in the taper that the available tablets may not be adequate to cut anymore and even slight differences in your dose might be dehabilating. In this case I would consider compound pills or liquid. I learned this the hard way.

 

Best of luck,

Naf1983

 

Hi Thegirlfb,

 

I’m sorry you feel so overwhelmed by withdrawal symptoms, but they are withdrawal symptoms and there’s nothing we haven’t seem before in your description. Although some members can taper at your rate without too much trouble, there are many who simply cannot. They have to go slower.

 

It is recommended that you make reductions from each current dose of 5-10% every 10-14 days. This means you recalculate that 5-10% at each new dose you reach as you taper down. It seems you are also making your cuts every 7 days which looks very much like it’s too fast for you. I would suggest holding at your current dose until you stabilise. Keep in mind that the more you push your taper rate and the more destabilised you become, the harder it can be to stabilise, meaning it can take longer to stabilise. So give your brain and body the time it needs to adjust. As you taper, your brain is making repairs, but if you go hard and fast, the brain can’t keep up with the repairs with such limited time between cuts, especially, it seems, with the size of your cuts. If you feel it is absolutely necessary, you do have the option of slightly updosing, waiting to stabilise, and then resuming your taper at a slower rate with smaller reductions, however, there is no guarantee you will stabilise any faster than if you just hold your current dose.

 

Many members experience what you describe… as being starved of breath, this is another withdrawal symptom along with the stiff muscles and overall pain throughout the body. I would suggest that you don’t have any kind of nerve disease, your symptoms are simply part of a long endless list of withdrawal symptoms that will subside considerably as you stabilise. I’ve also read many members claiming their heart often skipping a beat. I’m not a doctor, so I would never tell you to not have something like that checked out, however, I’m simply trying to ease some of the fear surrounding your current experience. Please keep in mind that ‘Fear’ itself is a common withdrawal symptom. It is common to have suicidal thoughts, but they are just thoughts, but there is a difference between having suicidal thoughts, and actually considering acting on them. If it got to that point, I would absolutely urge you to see your doctor and discuss what can be done. However, to reiterate, it is common to experience suicidal thoughts in withdrawal, especially when pushing your taper too fast which only increases symptom severity.

 

You will heal and make a complete recovery!

 

Here are a couple of links which may help to dispel some of the fear you are experiencing.

 

Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted

http://www.benzobuddies.org//forum/index.php?topic=87594.0

 

What’s happening inside your brain[/url

 

 

 

WS

I want to reinforce the fact that your heart is just fine :3 that pulse rate is good and not too low. If it’s in the 30’s, then that’s a bit too low (if you aren’t an Olympian). A skipped beat is not abnormal in your state. You can just feel it because you are hyper sensitive to everything right now. Even if it skipped more than that, you are fine :3 Your heart will do that when tapering for sure.

 

You can do this. We know you can!

Thank you so much you guys for all of your support and I really hope and wish that you all will get better and be able to be free from this poison!!! I am 28 years old, and the wierd thing is that my heart bpm usually is between 80-100 during this withdrawal, and now all of a sudden my heart is beating like slow at times (slow for me like 70-75). Especially during night time. I get so scared waking up sometimes in the middle of the night and feeling like i can’t breath and having a pulse around 68bpm. It scares the * out of me. Also this nerve thing really scares me but I’m so grateful for all links above, I read them and the nerve healing part definitely calmed me down but at the same time I can’t help to worry about my health because I feel like I am only getting worse. Do you guys think it has to do with that I am on a low dose right now? I was suppose to cut to 1mg this week but honestly I am to scared for that. Really sad about everything I put my body through by taking this poison. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started to take the Xanax. Ugh 😣 but thank you all so so so much for taking the time of your day and reading my post and answering, words can’t describe how much I appreciate it! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hi Girl.

Everything you describe are classic withdrawal symptoms. When my heart skips about I tell myself that it’s changing gear……either speeding up or slowing down! I know that’s not an accurate description but it just calms me to think……oooh there’s my heart changing gear!

I tapered directly from Lorazepam and found the low doses hard to cope with but I did. I just weighed my crushed pills to get the correct weight. There are lots of ways to reduce by tiny amounts. Just ask, there’s lots of good info here.

Hardy x

Hi again Hardy❤️ Really appreciate your answers. I really don’t know how to taper like slow because I don’t have a scale and they are going to give me 2mg tablets that I’ll have to split into 1mgs, but after that I don’t know how to split anymore because they are so small in shape. Do you have any tips? I don’t quite understand the liquid thing either 😤❤️

If you bought a simple pill cutter from a pharmacy you could easily cut your tablet into quarters so that would be 0.5mg. That might be enough to get you down to a final dose of 0.5mg

I didn’t want to bother with a liquid taper and managed without but others find it helpful.

 

My last dose of Lorazepam was 0.1mg which is equivalent to 1mg of Valium. I got so good at measuring my doses I could ‘see’ the right amount and just used my scales to check. You could probably manage without scales.

Please don’t rush this last bit, it’s not a race and slow and steady works best.

Hardy. X

 

Hi Thegirlfb,

 

Hardy66 could be right. It may be more about giving yourself more time between reductions to fully recover from the previous one, rather than the size of the reductions. Please give yourself enough time to recover before you make another cut, you’re going much too fast and the reductions have caught up with you.

 

If you feel you want to accurately reduce in smaller amounts, you can always get scales. Someone here will provide a link to a good cheap set.

 

If you need guidance with changing or implementing a new taper, just use this link below and start a thread asking for help

 

Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper)

 

WS

 

 

It looks like your doctors crossed you over from 3-5mg Xanax/day to 15mg Valium (that is not even close to the right crossover amount), and then fast tapered down the Valium over a very short period of time. Your doctors are the problem here, not you. You need to go slower on your taper. Many members here start to microtaper when they get this low in their dose. It helps a lot with symptoms.

 

See if you can get your doctor to allow you to stay on 2.5 or 2 for a little while, so your body and brain can catch up, and then formulate a plan to microtaper the rest. That could look like tapering the rest over the course of a few months. If you'd like to do this, write a post in the taper section, and folks will help you understand how to make a plan for microtapering.

 

Hope you feel better soon!

I am tapering off 1 MILIMETER a day.  That's slow but I'm not having severe symptoms.