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Really in need of some support. I tapered from 5mg to 4mg of diazepam with minimal issues, but going from 4mg to 3mg was absolute hell. I stuck with it for 5 days before going to 3.5mg to see if I can stabilise on this dose. Psychiatrist recommended going back to 4mg for a bit, but I just want off this poison and I don’t want to go backwards. Feels like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. There’s just seems to be no sense of peace no matter what I do - when I’m stabilised on a dose, I am crushed by the knowledge that I’m still dependant on this drug and still have so far to go. When I’m tapering, I’m overwhelmed with physical and mental suffering. I just want this to end, I am so so so over this process. My whole life has come to a halt while everyone and everything is just continuing around me as if everything was normal. I’m just a shell of the person I used to be. I try to fill my days with distracting activities, but everything just feels so useless and meaningless. How do you stay positive through this?

I know this was a long post. I appreciate you taking the time to read this.

Giraffelover26

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Hi Giraffelover26,

 

I recognize so much in your story. I wanted nothing more than be rid of the poison. However I concluded, eventually, that I cannot force the pace of my brain and body to adapt faster than it has already done.

 

So my advice would be towards the acceptance of the time your brain needs to adapt without the presence of Benzodiazepines. Take time.

 

Naf1983

 

Really in need of some support. I tapered from 5mg to 4mg of diazepam with minimal issues, but going from 4mg to 3mg was absolute hell. I stuck with it for 5 days before going to 3.5mg to see if I can stabilise on this dose. Psychiatrist recommended going back to 4mg for a bit, but I just want off this poison and I don’t want to go backwards. Feels like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. There’s just seems to be no sense of peace no matter what I do - when I’m stabilised on a dose, I am crushed by the knowledge that I’m still dependant on this drug and still have so far to go. When I’m tapering, I’m overwhelmed with physical and mental suffering. I just want this to end, I am so so so over this process. My whole life has come to a halt while everyone and everything is just continuing around me as if everything was normal. I’m just a shell of the person I used to be. I try to fill my days with distracting activities, but everything just feels so useless and meaningless. How do you stay positive through this?

I know this was a long post. I appreciate you taking the time to read this.

Giraffelover26

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Hi Giraffelover26,

 

I’m sorry you’re having such difficulty with your taper. I do understand what it’s like to lose all sense of pleasure and joy from your daily life. It won’t be like that forever, believe me. You will heal and rediscover the simple beauty in life!

 

Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems you are doing the cut and hold method, and making quite big reductions. Especially from 4mg to 3mg. I see you updosed to 3.5mg, but it seems you’re in the midst of finding some stabilisation. Have you thought about decreasing the size of your reductions and doing a more symptoms based taper… waiting until you stabilise before before making each next cut? Because I’m writing this reply, I can’t see what the dose was that you started your taper at, but let’s just say (for the purpose of this explanation) that you began at 10mg and your first cut was 1mg down to 9mg. That would have been a 10% cut in dose, but now that you’re down lower, your most recent cut was from 4mg down to 3mg, which is a 25% cut. Your brain does not appreciate that very big cut. Generally it is advised to make 5 - 10% cuts all the way down, but that 5 - 10% needs to be recalculated after each cut from each new dose. Does that make sense? You are cutting more than your brain can handle, and it’s struggling to cope. You can wait it out until you stabilise on the dose you are on (3.5mg) or possibly do as your doctor said and go back to 4mg if you feel you can’t cope. Once you stabilise, you can resume your taper at a considerably slower rate. Its very important to remain functional through your taper. If you need help devising a new taper plan, start a thread explaining your situation and the need for guidance with devising a new taper plan using the below link.

 

Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper)

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Thank you Naf and Winters sun. I truly appreciate your replies.

 

Thanks for explaining and bringing this point to light - they are big cuts when you look at it that way. I was just following Ashton manual, but it sounds like 5-10% cuts are the way to go.

 

I’m feeling a bit better now on 3.5mg, which is only a 12.5% cut from 4mg. Perhaps around the 10% cut mark will work ok for me.

 

Thanks for the advice.

Giraffelover26

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