Phobia of Going to the Doctor

Buddies,

Here I am again looking for support. I hope I'm soon to the place where I can be of more help to YOU! I've been tapering for nearly two years now and am down from 2.5 mg of Klonopin to now at 1.13 mg. Sometimes there is up to six months between tapers. The dozens of symptoms come and go. I posted a list of them and they are definitely in line with benzo withdrawal. However, up until now, I've only seen my family doctor who appears only somewhat familiar with this phenomenon. I've worried about having a serious neurological disorder, etc., etc. The point I am coming to is that This week I  am seeing a doctor whom I have not seen before. He is recommended as one who is familiar with benzo withdrawal. I just keep fearing that he will have me run the gauntlet of all kinds of neurological tests and I could be diagnosed with something that I might or might not have or they could say it is inconclusive. I'm banking of the recommendation that he is benzo literate but I won't know until I see him. How do I / we decide if tests that a doctor recommends are necessary or just the start of an unending rabbit trail with inconclusive results or a very disturbing diagnosis? I also am cognizant that my phobia might be a benzo withdrawal symptom in and of itself! Any advice? Best wishes to all of you.

Gettingwell2022

 

You sound very much like me. There are a lot of things/times when my response is "what if this happens or what if that happens" and I have a real fear of all the possible outcomes of a situation. I would like to ground you in the here and now. You are going to see the doctor - that's a given, a fact. Let's not get ahead and analyse every possible outcome from that appointment. It's futile and it will only increase your anxiety because analysing each outcome will result in other possible outcomes which need further analysis.

 

My best advice would be, go to the appointment and listen to what he has to say. Once he has made suggestions (or maybe none at all!), then we look at those suggestions within the context (why he made them) and we can support you in your decision going forward.

 

I know it might be easier said than done, because I've had some very irrational fears during my benzo withdrawal and even though I recognised it as irrational fears it was extremely hard to let it go. And with this I'm not saying yours is irrational at all. I'm just saying if it's difficult to let an irrational fear go, I know how hard it can be not to give in to what might be reasonable concerns.

That is very helpful. Thank you for your kind words and support!

You're most welcome! I'm sure your appointment will go well. Please let us know how it goes. You've got this and we've got you! 

I know going in can be stressful, but not having the answer will cause more stress down the road. You can do it!

What should I do? He says to go off Klonopin cold turkey,  take gabapentin to avoid seizures, take catapress blood pressure as needed for anxiety, and doxepin as needed for sleep.  He says my symptoms are not withdrawal but anxiety.

Oh my, he certainly does not sound benzo wise at all, in fact he sounds very ignorant. I would definitely not go CT with all the symptoms you have. I would just ignore him. If he doesn't have a shred of understanding or acknowledgement for withdrawal I would not take any advice from him. This makes me so angry.

 

I'm very sorry you're being dismissed. Most of what you've described sound textbook withdrawal. How do you feel about this?

To be honest, I feel confused and like crying because I don't know of a doctor nearby that is benzo smart. I have a friend who is an doctor in another state and he has told me that he has looked into some of this. I can call him but I don't think he can prescribe out of state. Someone suggested that I call back the doctor I saw today and ask for a better explanation. I just don't believe all my symptoms are anxiety although many could be. Any further advice is welcome. I'm 52 and feel like crying like a baby. I thought I was going to get reassurance from this doctor. Thanks for your help and I'm praying for all of you too. God bless

Do you need a doctor to prescribe or a doctor to look into your symptoms?

I need a doctor to prescribe tapered doses from a compounding  clinic. It would be nice if such prescribing doctor was familiar with withdrawal symptoms so they could determine when it's withdrawal and when the symptoms potentially need attention.

Is your current doctor refusing to prescribe your compounding meds?

 

 

 

 

Yes, it make me very angry! I dont want to follow his advice but afraid he will stop prescribing to me. Not sure how to approach him

Oh no, that is terrible.

 

Is it possible to find a doctor (or nurse practitioner) that's willing to prescribe even though they're not benzo wise? My doctor knows very little about tapering but she works with me. She lets me taper however I want and prescribes what I need. She's very supportive in getting me off benzo's no matter how long it takes, as long I'm getting off it. I really want to see the same for you. 

I am happy to report that today I visited a doctor who agreed to take me as his patient and to prescribe a slow taper. He is also open to using a compounding pharmacy. 

   

 

There are not enough emoji's to show how happy I am for you! This is going to make your life so much easier!

 

Well done for persisting!

Thank you! Interestingly, this doctor is only about 2 miles from the place I work in a small town. The other doctors I have been seeing are an hour or two in distance in larger cities. Sometimes miracles happen right near home!

This is great!!! I am so happy for you!!!