Trying to get off Ativan using Lexotamil

Hello,

Everyone back on the board for some advice.  I generally try to avoid reading and posting too much because doing so may be helpful in terms of info but can also feed anxiety like hell.  On the other hand, I cannot seem to find any help anywhere else.  I am addicted to Ativan after taking about 1 mg of it for two months. It is truly wreaking havoc on my life and is damaging job and family.  Psychologists and psychiatrists I have consulted keep insisting I cannot be addicted or have downplayed the medication being the main reason behind my anxiety.  but unfortunately I know them to be wrong. Even my poor wife has difficulty believing me.  During the last 11 days following advice of a friend who did so successfully after being put on multiple psychiatriac drugs I have been substituting 2-3 mg of Lexotanil (Bromazepam), a lighter benzo available in Europe for the Ativan in the hope of staying on that for about a month or two and tapering off that.  It is generally considered much easier to taper and get off the Lexotanil than Ativan.  In the beginning it seemed to be working out ok but now I am pretty sure I am having several withdrawal symptoms again (nausea, lack of appetite, morning tremors, brain fog, etc).  I can, however, sleep a few hours every night although I usually wake up in a panic. 

 

Bear in mind, that Valium is not available where I live and I cannot fathom the idea of trying to get of Ativan without some help.  I fear my friend was able to make the Lexotanil switch because he was not addicted to the Ativan in the first place.  I also fear that I may just be setting myself up to getting addicted to two different benzos at the same time.

 

Is what I am doing just wishful thinking?

 

Looking for advice. 

seek:

 

All of us are looking for easy/easier ways off benzos and there are some methods that can help reduce the struggle. I really don't know what the answer to your question is. But I was on 1mg Ativan for between 1 and 2 months and have been directly tapering using an Ativan suspension. It has been a miserable road to Hell, but to date, I have been able to drop >90% of my dose so it is possible to taper just on Ativan.

 

I'm not there yet, and dont know what post-jump will look like and low doses can really bite hard. But from a numerical perspective, I am making significant progress.

 

Like yourself, I feared that complicating my taper w/another benzo would just leave me with 2 problems. Thats why I never crossed over to valium. Maybe it was a stupid decision; I'll never know.

Thanks for your answer.  The only thing that I can say is that the stupidest thing one can do is take benzos in the first place.  This all the more true for myself since in the past I had actually taken Ativan for six months and cold turkeyed with minimal withdrawal problems.  I got a get out of jail free card and then got back in.  How crazy is that?

Whats done is done. Hopefully you can learn from the mistake and avoid benzos in the future. Nothing like putting your hand in the fire to learn the lesson of NOT putting your hand in the fire.

Hello,

Everyone back on the board for some advice.  I generally try to avoid reading and posting too much because doing so may be helpful in terms of info but can also feed anxiety like hell.  On the other hand, I cannot seem to find any help anywhere else.  I am addicted to Ativan after taking about 1 mg of it for two months. It is truly wreaking havoc on my life and is damaging job and family.  Psychologists and psychiatrists I have consulted keep insisting I cannot be addicted or have downplayed the medication being the main reason behind my anxiety.  but unfortunately I know them to be wrong. Even my poor wife has difficulty believing me.  During the last 11 days following advice of a friend who did so successfully after being put on multiple psychiatriac drugs I have been substituting 2-3 mg of Lexotanil (Bromazepam), a lighter benzo available in Europe for the Ativan in the hope of staying on that for about a month or two and tapering off that.  It is generally considered much easier to taper and get off the Lexotanil than Ativan.  In the beginning it seemed to be working out ok but now I am pretty sure I am having several withdrawal symptoms again (nausea, lack of appetite, morning tremors, brain fog, etc).  I can, however, sleep a few hours every night although I usually wake up in a panic. 

 

Bear in mind, that Valium is not available where I live and I cannot fathom the idea of trying to get of Ativan without some help.  I fear my friend was able to make the Lexotanil switch because he was not addicted to the Ativan in the first place.  I also fear that I may just be setting myself up to getting addicted to two different benzos at the same time.

 

Is what I am doing just wishful thinking?

 

Looking for advice. 

 

hi, i have already replied to you on the other thread, please work out a sensible taper plan

with the Ativan if you can't get Valium in your country. lexatonil is not the solution......

its a very potent Benzo.

Hello Morreweg,

 

I fear you may be right. Trying to subsitute the Lexotanil for Ativan was definitely a bad idea.  But I have done it now for about two weeks so I don't think it would be a very good idea to try and go back to the Ativan now.  But I actually consulted a few psychiatrists and so called "dependency experts" and doctors before doing it who did not think it was a bad idea.  Of course many of them would not accept the fact that I was addicted to the Ativan in the first place. I think I am actually suffering from a dual problem now.  Both the withdrawal symptoms of getting off the Ativan and a new dependence on the Lexotanil and a myriad of bad symptoms this drug has brought on me.    I don't know if its worse but it is certainly just as bad.

 

The Ativan made me feel absolutely horrible. The worse part is that I believe it was making me somewhat psychotic and mean because I kept having nasty thoughts about harming my family members, etc.  I think that was one of the main reasons for the "switch."  My therapists blamed this on 'anxiety" even though it is totally out of character for me and I totally adore them  I felt very sickly but could perform at work and had some sort of appetite.  The Lexotanil appears to make me dizzier than Ativan and somewhat "stupid" because you need to take larger doses to have an effect.  But I am at 1.5 - 3mg per day which is the equivalent of 1mg of Ativan.  It has also made my legs extremely wobbly and is giving me joint pain while my appetite has been eliminated.  I probably should have tried a taper directly from the Ativan but that stuff was really bad too.

 

What can I say.  I think I may be a poster boy of what exactly to do wrong in terms of benzos.  Thank you for warning me but I think it is too late. 

hi seekfreedom,

Please try to stay positive and i can assure you, once you are off the meds it will

take time till your gabaas upregulated again and then you will have your freedom back.

its so hard i know and it is sad that we have to do this on our own, without

the support of our educated Doctors.

look after yourself and take care ....i am sure you will make it.

Hi Seek, I wouldn't recommend switching from Ativan to bromazepam, as Morreweg said it's a short acting benzo so not a better option to ativan.

You will need to do comprehensive taper from ativan starting yesterday 

There are plenty of advice on how to taper from this over here, a lot more than bromazepam by the way.

You haven't been on this for long so it shouldn't be too hard for you to come off.

Good luck

Morreweg and friends,

 

After switching to Lexotamil from Ativan for two weeks I would have to say I totally agree that it is not a good idea.  It is not as strong as other benzos which means you have to take more for it to have effect further increasing risk of dependency. I find that I crave it more than Ativan.    In terms of comparing to Ativan it also has other side-effects.  I find it makes me dizzier, more unstable and upsets my stomach more than Ativan although the latter certainly did not make my digestive system feel great for sure. 

 

The nasty psychological effects are also not that different as well, although I find I am a little less "meaner" with the Lexotanil.  Anyway, if any of you are looking for advice on what not do to in terms of taking benzos and getting off of them just simply follow my story.  It reads like a soap opera (sorry for inserting humor here).

 

Anyway, I think the general conclusion here that everyone would agree with is that all benzos generally suck.

 

I am myself still am coming to terms with the total destruction they have brought on my otherwise very good life (good job, family, etc.) in such a short time and I am still in  state of total disbelief.  So, sorry if my nonse has bothered you. 

 

I wish everyone the best of luck.  I hope I can garner the strength to get through this. 

Morreweg and friends,

 

After switching to Lexotamil from Ativan for two weeks I would have to say I totally agree that it is not a good idea.  It is not as strong as other benzos which means you have to take more for it to have effect further increasing risk of dependency. I find that I crave it more than Ativan.    In terms of comparing to Ativan it also has other side-effects.  I find it makes me dizzier, more unstable and upsets my stomach more than Ativan although the latter certainly did not make my digestive system feel great for sure. 

 

The nasty psychological effects are also not that different as well, although I find I am a little less "meaner" with the Lexotanil.  Anyway, if any of you are looking for advice on what not do to in terms of taking benzos and getting off of them just simply follow my story.  It reads like a soap opera (sorry for inserting humor here).

 

Anyway, I think the general conclusion here that everyone would agree with is that all benzos generally suck.

 

I am myself still am coming to terms with the total destruction they have brought on my otherwise very good life (good job, family, etc.) in such a short time and I am still in  state of total disbelief.  So, sorry if my nonse has bothered you. 

 

I wish everyone the best of luck.  I hope I can garner the strength to get through this. 

 

good luck and all the best to you as well. its a disaster i know.

Help!  This morning I had a psychotic fit in front of my wife in which I literally ripped my shirt and underwear to shreds in front of her.  It was one of the scariest things I have ever experienced and totally out of character for me.  I have never displayed any of this kind of behavior before taking medication. save for the time that I took an antidepressant for a few weeks. I fear I may be displaying some of the psychotic elements of the Ativan withdrawal (been off the drug for two weeks) along with others and perhaps negative side-effects from the Lexotamil have I have been having taking for the same amount of time.  None of this stuff agrees with me at all!!

 

I am the main caretaker in my home a father with a wonderful wife and son and a great job.  If this keeps  upI will not longer be functional and able to take of them.  My wife cannot take care of me.  The "solutions" being offered to me by medical doctors, psychiatrists, and two separate clinical psychologists are simply to claim that I am not addicted to it for the short time I have taken it and just "quit taking the drug. "  Like I am enjoying myself and wouldn't do it if it was that easy.  My wife says that I don't want to believe any of the professionals and do not want to help myself.  Not true!  They just do not get it.

 

Any advice?  Should I try and reinstate Ativan and slowly wean off that?  In any case, if things continue like this I will have to visit a psychiatrist but I have been down that slippery slope before being bombed with different kinds of meds and fear it will just make me worse.  But I must survive aned I must keep my job.  It is not a question of choice. 

 

Sorry, if I am raining on everyone's parade but I cannot seem to find anyone who understands me anywhere. I need serious advice at this point on how to proceed.

 

Thanx everyone. 

gosh this is hard to advise.

this is the way i see it. i hope others might come along as well.

 

you should have tapered the Ativan and not just stopped taking it like your doctors

advised you. some people are very sensitive and can have terrible wd sxs even though

they have been on the med for a couple of months.

 

if you don't reinstate now it might get worse and you won't be able to function at work

and it will take months till this is over.

 

i would start a post at the general taper section and ask for help to work out a sensible

taper plan. you have to be smart now and help yourself, if you can't find

a medical professional who is benzo-wise.

 

have you read the ashton manual ? have you read the 2 links at my signature , which

explain how this crap affects our brain ?

 

may be you could convince your wife to read it as well and then she will understand.

i think  reinstating and a sensible taper are the only solution.

i am so sorry you have to go through this. its terrible ...i wish i could help.

Morreweg.

 

Thank you for answering.  However, the last time I reinstated the first time I tried to cold - turkey after three weeks (this is before I knew of the dependency) I initially fell asleep for 10 hours.  After than I would start having literal blackouts at work and home before stabilizing somewhat.  However, it was not like my life was a bowl of cherries with the Ativan.  It was horrible.  That is why I switched to the Lexotanil.

 

However, what I think is occurring and "think" is the operative word here, is that the Lexotanil simply slowed down or moderated the onset of the Ativan withdrawal while causing problems of its own.  I have no idea what will happen if I reinstate on Ativan now and what sideeffects stopping the Lexotanil will have either.  I think I am totally screwed.

 

 

Your right, they "don't get it." My doc gave me very bad advcie on weaning off ativan. Within 24 hr of following her plan, I realized it was a road paved t hell and stopped, sought out BB and developed my owm plan w/o any input from so called "professionals." That was my saving grace. I too, have a family to support and a job that I could not stop going to and had to perfrom at a very high level. So non-functionality during the week could not be tolerated.

 

How long has it been since you stoppped the Ativan/Lexotamil? And could you remind me of your detailed dose history? Your choices might be limited to the lesser of two evils at this point but lets figure out the best option here.

Laserjet3051

 

Just a bit on my background.  I am 44 married with a great wife, kid and job.  Made the mistake in 2011 of visiting a psychiatrist for anxiety I developed over a minor surgery.  Had never experienced anxiety before and I am an athlete.  He put me on Lexapro and Ativan.  The Lexapro almost drove me psychotic while after that the Ativan is the only that called me down.  Finally met up with a clinical psychologist who was also an expert in clinical pharmacology who explained that the Lexapro wasn't helping me.  Started psychotherapy with him.  Got off Lexapro in about six weeks but had withdrawal symptoms which lasted about 5 months.    Continued to take Ativan 0.25 mgs twice a day for six months.  My anxiety eventually abated and then I was told to quit the Ativan.  Surprisingly, I had minimal withdrawal symptoms.  Mild insomnia for about 10 days and some dizziness for about two months but nothing major and certainly bearable.

 

I eventually became my old self again began exercising and was very happy and healthy.  Fast forward to last September.  Developed anxiety over a minor back injury (I am not a hypochondriac but tend to develop excessive compulsive anxiety about certain health issues while not others. Don't ask me why).  Visited my psychologist again who told me to take it easy and wait for the injury to heal and the anxiety would eventually go away when that happened.  The anxiety I had was bad but I was still very functional at work and home and did sleep 4-5 hours a night which was not bad.  Unfortunately, I had a stash of Ativan lying around the house from the good old days.  It's funny but I had thrown out all my psychiatric medication after my last wonderful experience with it but somehow this shit was still lying around.  While I trembled the SSRIS given to me last time because they had given me so much trouble I did not fear the Ativan because it had not caused trouble for me before.  I knew nothing about kindling and how dangerous it was for me to put my hand in the cookie jar again.  Started to take it to get some extra sleep.  Took five 2.5 mg pills broken down in doses of 1.2-0.50 mgs intermittently sometimes two days in a row while skipping 2 days on other occassions in a period of three weeks.  Started to want the Ativan more and also started to feel alittle depressed and didn't realize that perhaps this was the drug its number on me and sucking me in. When I told my psychologist I was taking it he threw a fit and told me to stop immediately.  But this time when I did I got severe withdrawal symptoms (akathisia, nausea, constant pacing, sudden fear of the dark and being alone) and realized that I was hooked.  Did not sleep for five days and reinstated at 1mg.  Then my life became a literal living hell.  I would feel sick all day, come home from work, fall asleep in the early evening.  Wake up in the middle of the night in panic to take 0.50 mgs of Ativan and then go to work and start the whole thing again.  Managed to cut back to 0.75 mgs for two weeks but couldn't handle it and when back up to 1 mg.  During this entire time I felt sick as a dog but somehow managed to work. 

 

I then began to have other strange symptoms and this is while on I was on the drug.  I lost the ability to laugh or cry well and started having psychotic thoughts about harming myself and my loved ones.  After consulting a few psychiatrists and even a detox "expert" and a friend who experienced the same thing they suggested that I switch to Lexotamil a lighter benzo available in Europe and then try to wean off of that.  That was a little over three weeks ago.  Initially it worked fairly well but then I being having the same symptoms again and even worse. Only now, I have lost the ability to walk well, have trouble driving and have suicidal ideation, psychotic thoughts, etc. Went to a shopping mall with my wife and son yesterday and it was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.  I was not afraid of the people but was just so dizzy my poor wife literally had to hold me up when walking around.  I fear I may be experiencing a delayed cold turkey withdrawal from the Ativan combined with a new tolerance for the Lexotanil.  During the entire time my poor psychologist kept insisting that I was not addicted to the Ativan and should quit it and almost went ballistic when I told him I made the Lexotamil switch.  But I cannot quit.

 

I called him yesterday and he said that the way my condition is he will have to refer me to a psychiatrist although he hates the idea.  I really do not want to go because he will just bomb me with a new benzo and possibly an SSRI but I am so unstable now I don't think I have any choice.  I am the main caretaker of my home and must be functional. I just fear that more drugs may make me even worse or perhaps drive me completely insane. Even the small doses of the ones I am taking now are driving me mad. Valium is not really available in the country I live in and I don't know if switching would work for me given that my body can barely handle what I am taking now. One psychiatrist I consulted by e-mail said he does valium switches but the taper would last two weeks which seems entirely too short.  I am also an impatient person and don't know if I can handle a protracted benzo withdrawal that would last for years.  The Lexapro withdrawal was hell but a cakewalk to what I am experiencing now.   

 

I know this forum exists to give people strength, but I feel totally hopeless.  In the meantime, I keep punishing myself because I am literally watching my entire family and life become unglued in front of me while I am practically helpless to stop it.  I have no excuse.  Last time I was given psych meds I was unaware of the dangers but this time I have only myself to blame.  I wish all of you the best and at this point I just hope I make it out of this in one piece both mentally and physically.  But my main concern is my family.