Morning Anxiety, Dosing Schedule, and Gabapentin

Hi all. First post here.

Started taking 2 mg klonopin/day + 10 mg valium/day along with frequent heavy drinking in the fall of 2021. Fast forward one year and I was beginning to have what I believe was tolerance/interdose withdrawal, and knew I needed to do something about it.

Quit all the alcohol in October of last year, and switched over to valium from klonopin. Was taking roughly 50-90 mg/day of valium throughout November of last year when I decided it would be a good idea to check myself into a treatment center in California, given that my use seemed to be spiraling out of control.

When I first arrived, they put me on 120 mg/day valium, introduced gabapentin, and started tapering. The first drops were big, as I hadn't been on a high dose of valium for very long. The gabapentin really seemed to help.

Fast forward 3 months and I am now holding at 23 mg/day and having quite a difficult time. The worst of it has been in these last two weeks. I dropped to 23 mg from 25 mg on February 24th, and since then I feel like I have been bashing my head against a wall (panic attacks, constant anxiety, poor sleep, strange bodily sensations, heart palpitations, etc). I try to spread my dosage out evenly throughout the day. Right now I take a dose every 3-4 hours, because at the 4 hour mark I feel panic coming on strong. So I do 6/6/6/5 mg. First dose is usually at 6-7 am.

In addition to the valium, I'm also on 2400 mg of gabapentin a day, 10 mg propranolol as needed, and 1200 mg l-theanine.

I started at 900 mg/day gabapentin, and then slowly increased to 2400 mg/day over the last 3 months, as it seemed to be helping my symptoms. Doctor I've been working with has had no qualms about it.

With how bad my symptoms have gotten over the past couple of weeks, I am at a bit of a loss about where to proceed from here.

Part of me wants to try and updose, part of me wants to try spreading out my dose differently (taking more in the morning and evening, or switching to dosing 3 times a day), and part of me just wants to try and grit my teeth and hold where I'm at and hope I stabilize.

Looking for any and all input. Have gathered so much information just from lurking around here and I pray that anyone suffering heals soon.

Hi chunkibumpi

Unfortunately I can’t really provide you with any information about the gabapentin, but I’m sure someone else will help with that. You could also post any questions about the gabapentin and any other medication on the Other Medications Board.

In regard to the mixed emotions and panic around the right course of action to take at this point, I just want you to know that that’s a perfectly natural reaction, and could even be considered an extension of your symptoms. Personally, I would hold right now and wait for symptoms to decrease. It sounds like you’ve been tapering from a very high dose at quite a hefty rate, without ever giving yourself a break to avoid a backlash of continuous reductions (one after another) from catching up with you. So personally, I would hold and give these intensified symptoms time to decrease considerably, before then moving on to making smaller reductions in dose. Often, one of the biggest and most difficult lessens we learn through this process, is maintaining ‘Patience’, as this can be very hard to do when we’re suffering such intense symptoms. It’s one moment at a time, one hour at a time, and one day at a time, using as many distraction techniques as possible. Write your symptoms down every day and give them all a rating out of 10 so you can detect any slight improvements along the way and notice any symptoms that may have disappeared, that without journaling, you wouldn’t have noticed.

WS

If you could just fill out your history/signature, this would really help all of us give you better informed feedback to your questions. Instructions are provided at the below link.

Add your history/signature

Winters sun,

Thank you so much for your motivational response. It feels incredibly lonely to not be able to discuss the depth of this suffering with anybody in my life. I feel the doctors do not understand, nor friends and family.

In my 25 years on this earth, this is by far the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. I took benzo-free life for granted. How deeply I now wish to have simple anxiety and hypochondria again. 

The road seems so long, and I feel all the reading and research I have done has only served to scare me. I worry that the gabapentin is masking my withdrawal symptoms to some extent. I wonder how I am going to get to 0 mg from 23 mg. Right now it feels nearly impossible. I can't imagine cutting again, if I'm already having panic attacks so frequently and such a reduced quality of life.

God bless,

Mark

Winters sun,

 

Thank you so much for your motivational response. It feels incredibly lonely to not be able to discuss the depth of this suffering with anybody in my life. I feel the doctors do not understand, nor friends and family.

 

In my 25 years on this earth, this is by far the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. I took benzo-free life for granted. How deeply I now wish to have simple anxiety and hypochondria again. 

 

The road seems so long, and I feel all the reading and research I have done has only served to scare me. I worry that the gabapentin is masking my withdrawal symptoms to some extent. I wonder how I am going to get to 0 mg from 23 mg. Right now it feels nearly impossible. I can't imagine cutting again, if I'm already having panic attacks so frequently and such a reduced quality of life.

 

God bless,

 

Mark

Hi chunkibumpi

Please try and understand that at this moment, you are actually seeing your future through a filter of fear because of your intensified symptoms. As these symptoms decrease, the filter will cleanse and the lens through which you see your future will clear and everything will appear much more manageable. Most of us here have experienced the very same lack of understanding and support from family, friends, and medical practitioners, but you don’t need to concern yourself with that here, as everyone here understands what it’s like to have our suffering dismissed by those around us. Please reach out and use the BB forum to avoid feeling so alone through this process.

WS

I have been using this forum since 2016; I would definatley agree  that withdrawal is painful not only physically but emotionaly. I have been looking at Mad forum on utube and have uncovered a lot of good information. Right now I am doing a taper from zanex. It's been really rough.

Stick it out use this forum you will get the support and respect right here on this forum.

Rockitdawg