Sorry I keep Posting

I am so sick of this being my life. The same thing over and over- basically suffering and surviving. My life just revolves around clonazepam withdrawal. Anyone else feel like this?

 

There was so much I enjoyed in my old life- the list is endless really. And I got a lot of satisfaction in helping others- I am a retired nurse, the mother of 3 amazing children, and I believe I was a regular, fun wife that my husband was proud of and a good friend an sister. Is that it? Have I done my life’s work?

Please don't apologize for posting! You're hurting and we understand.  I know it's been mentioned before but I just want to remind you that it may help to slow down your taper, consider making smaller cuts and holding longer between cuts.  This process takes a long time and healing can take a very long time but the brain knows how to heal itself.  You'll get through this.

Brighterday has a point. On another post, you said you are at 54% off. You started at the same dose as I and another member did. She and I crossed over to diazepam. I am more than 2 1/2 years into this process, she is in year 4. I found that once I reached the halfway point, I had to make smaller cuts. I made even smaller ones last Fall, and even smaller yet, starting in December of 2022. I'm now doing a dry daily microtaper, weighing, filing, reducing the dose in tiny increments daily.

 

You may not want to hear this, but your body is telling you that you need to slow down. If you keep going at the rate you're going, you'll only feel worse. What Brighterday suggested, making smaller cuts and holding longer, are things you should consider. Ashton is a symptom-based taper, it means listening to your body and adjusting your taper as needed. Your body is telling you that you need to adjust your cuts and holds. I strongly suggest that you put your taper on pause, and hold at your current dose until you stabilize. Your posts indicate that you are not stable. Holding lets your body catch up to the cuts, and you start to feel better, and more stable. Stability isn't the absence of symptoms, it's when they are tolerable enough for you to function daily.

 

My former state-provided telehealth Peer, who had experience with this, would always remind me, "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." A sprint is a short, quick, race around the track, and you're done. A marathon takes hours to run, and covers more distance. Some marathon runners ending up walking over the finish line at the end. They can't run anymore, so they walk just to cross that finish line so they can say they did it.

 

Please consider what Brighterday  and I have said.

Hi Perseverance,

 

I follow the input of the others. I just want to add I completely understand your frustration. I'm 25 and was misled and used for 12 days. I've been sick due to medications since last summer. I cannot believe this is what my life came down to, so young. Not even having had the chance to become a wife or mother. I don't even have a driver's license yet and was supposed to do the exam around this time but all that is screwed up now. There's been more media attention to this problem since February where I live but all too late for me and I just sought therapy and a safe sleeping aid. These should be the best years of my life and they're clearly not.