Being in Public Challenges

Hello all, first let me state that I am just shy of 8 months off of Xanax and klonopin. I was prescribed them but after a few months I was acquiring extra off the street. My dose escalated to up to 10-15mg’s towards the end. I was on them for 10 months daily and did a 10 day medical detox off of them. Currently I am still struggling immensely. My body physically has recovered much quicker than my mind. I still experience facing paresthesia, head pressure, hand and foot numbness, sweating, and a relentless boaty feeling that never stops. I know that I am recovering and I can see a lot of healing if I take a step back and look at the big picture. That being said i feel like my biggest hurdle to recovery is being in public, interacting with people, and going back to work eventually. I don’t know how im going to get over this fear. Whenever I’m public I get slight derealization, a lot of anxiety, excessive sweating, and I wind up analyzing every single second that goes by. Simply existing seems unbearably painful when being anywhere outside my home..

 

I’d like to know how others have recovered from this and if so how long did it take and what helped?

 

Thanks!

Hey Paulie.... congratulations on being 8 months post jump.

Be kind and gentle with yourself.  Being in public for me was pretty horrible,  still can be... but it's getting easier.  What I remind myself is that my brain is healing from neural damage.  Being out shopping or visiting involves having to process so much information... vision, sound, sorting out conversations etc.  There was a point early on, where I was so sound and light sensitive, my brain and body would just crash.  I was hallucinating as well.

It much better now.... but not consistently.  I got good at acting...

I've had windows in the past 6 months where I've had several social exchanges in a row with very reduced symptoms, and a much quicker recovery.

So it gets better.... but it's not in a row.  I feel like I'm halfway there... to returning to jumping into the 'fray'.  Go easy....

Big hugs....

Now I'm much more supportive... I recognize when my time is up.

Thank you for your reply. It just gets so tough when things or people don’t seem real and I start to panic over it. I guess I need to expose myself more and more over time and hopefully it will get better. I feel like it is holding me back more than anything else.