Looking for support through Valium withdrawal

Hello,

I’m a 51 year old man who had been taking valium for over 16 years.  I started the drug to help with sleep and muscle relaxation.  When I was 28 years old, I had a sporting accident which left me with four fractured vertabrae.

After I wass prescribed the drug, I began to misuse it.  Tolerance bullt quickly and I also began to pair the valium with strong opiod painkillers.  My innexperience with these classes of drug, coupled with my addictive personlity, quickly escalated the amount that I was using.  At peak use, I was taking 80mg diazepam/day and 320mg oxycodone/day.

I went to recovery in the UK.  After some time (circa 2015), I stabilised at a ‘maintenace dose’ of 10mg diazepam/day and 5.6mg buprenorphone/day. 

In October 2021, my marriage broke down irretrievaby. I moved to Ohio in March 2022 to spend time with family.  On the 24th of December 2022, I decided that I would come off of the drugs.  The doctor I was seeing congratulated me. 

I thought that the opiate would be the hardest withdrawal.  I was finsihed with the buprenorphine withdrawal around the 7th of January.  Instead of feeling better, I began to feel much, much worse.

The severity of symptoms drove me to research benzo withdrawals (including Heather Ashton’s work).  I now realise that jumping off a 10mg/day dose of valium (which I’d been taking for 16 years) was a very bad idea.  However, I also believe that I have passed the point of reinstating. 

I’m suffering from extreme insomnia (slept circa 30 hours since Dec 24th 2022).  I’m showing sever histamine intolerance.  Anxiety, panic, depression, akithesia, burning sensations, muscle spasms, etc.

I’ve learned about radical acceptance and am doing my best to practice.  But, it is hard.  The symptoms don’t seem to be improving and I am not sure how much longer I can manage them.

I need to add to my coping resources. 

Thanks for your help.

Hello Kr1NkEL, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

Congratulations on getting off of benzodiazepines and opiates, I’m sure in time you’ll begin to feel better and better but you’re right, benzo’s are tough to quit and recovery takes a long time. 

If you’re suffering too much you can reinstate, we talk about timelines for reinstatement, some say it s better to reinstate within a matter of weeks but I’m not sure that’s based in any hard data. Tapers can be pretty miserable but they can help us stay functional so if you’re in too much distress it’s an option.

We can help support you as you go through recovery, it helps to communicate with those who understand how tough this is.  I’ll provide some links to help you get started but please let us know how we can help you.

Pamster

Ashton Manual symptom list

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support