Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages

Julia,

Thank you so much!  So kind of you to remember and think of me!  I’m shakin’ in my boots over here.  Sorry I haven’t been able to respond, but I thank you so much for your kindness and support!  You’ve given me hope that there is a way out of the big, black hole I’ve accidentally dug myself into.  I’ll let you know what the doc says. 

How are you feeling? 

You are in my thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻❤️

Uni

Julia,

 

Thank you so much!  So kind of you to remember and think of me!  I’m shakin’ in my boots over here.  Sorry I haven’t been able to respond, but I thank you so much for your kindness and support!  You’ve given me hope that there is a way out of the big, black hole I’ve accidentally dug myself into.  I’ll let you know what the doc says. 

 

How are you feeling? 

You are in my thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻❤️

 

Uni

Hi Uni - You are very welcome!! I am in your corner and you are in my thoughts and prayers!  You do not have anything to be sorry for.  You are doing what you can and I understand that!  If I have given you hope, then I have done what I am supposed to do as a caring, supportive and loving person! I am giving to you what has been given to me.  I am not unique as everything I have learned has been taught to me by other caring, supportive, loving people on BB.  I believe 100% that there is a way out for you and you are taking the first step today.  Again, what happened to you is NOT your fault! 

I look forward to hearing how things went today and know I am with you in spirit.

I am feeling better today and knowing you are taking care of you - makes me feel better!!!

Hugs and love to you!!!

Julia  :hug: :smitten:

Hi Uni,

I am very curious to hear what your doctor said and see how you feel about it. Hang in there! It's going to get better.

HM

I am back here with a different name because I was ashamed of my failure to stay off after 5 years…

Hi Sand,

I was looking at your signature and I can't tell if you just CT or not? You say you're back on after 5 years. What dose are you on and are you planning to taper? We're here for you no matter what. I don't know your old username or who you are but I am glad you posted.

I hope you have a great rest of your day,

HM

Julia and HM,

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement!  You are both so lovely!  The doctor canceled due to a meeting.  Have rescheduled for Monday, but their practice seems very disorganized and after speaking with 3 different people on the phone, I’m not sure what info is correct!  I won’t go into the details about that.  So, I also scheduled with an addictions specialist later next week in case the doc falls through again.  Wowza, this is stressful all the anticipation and just trying to get in to see someone. 

I hope you are both having a good day!

Big Love,

Uni

I am back here with a different name because I was ashamed of my failure to stay off after 5 years…

Hi SandPeep,

It makes me sad that you feel any shame for reinstating.  Please do not!  And please don’t call it a failure.  We are all doing our very best and there is no one way or no right or wrong way.  No judgement here!  It’s a shame that there is any judgement at all, surrounding this.  But, I do understand and empathize.  I’m sure many would tell me to just push through my unbearable symptoms to get off the drug (and they have, I listened and wound up worse off), but it is a bigger picture than that isn’t it.  I’ve learned the hard way.  If only we had an individualized roadmap of how to do this for ourselves…

Welcome!

I am back here with a different name because I was ashamed of my failure to stay off after 5 years…

 

Hi SandPeep,

 

It makes me sad that you feel any shame for reinstating.  Please do not!  And please don’t call it a failure.  We are all doing our very best and there is no one way or no right or wrong way.  No judgement here!  It’s a shame that there is any judgement at all, surrounding this.  But, I do understand and empathize.  I’m sure many would tell me to just push through my unbearable symptoms to get off the drug (and they have, I listened and wound up worse off), but it is a bigger picture than that isn’t it.  I’ve learned the hard way.  If only we had an individualized roadmap of how to do this for ourselves…

 

Welcome!

I agree with this 100%! 

I had to do an updose in the middle of my taper and even though I was upset, embarrassed, frustrated, etc., it turned out to be the absolute right thing to do!  I knew that it was a roadblock... and that's all.  I was able to continue a year later and this time, I'm able to keep going. 

Hang in there and don't beat yourself up over it. 

Fondly,

Lori

Welcome Sand! I hope we are a good fit for you and your needs, and feel the love and support and encouragement that is the core of this group.

All of us are so used to being pill shamed by the unknowing , and we really need to stop taking that on.

I am back here with a different name because I was ashamed of my failure to stay off after 5 years…

Please know you have nothing to be ashamed of!  It was not a failure, just a continuation of your journey.  You are welcome here and I am glad you are here to get support and encouragement!    There are many people who reinstated after a few years of being off.  Life can be hard and you did what you felt you had to do.  No one can fault you for that!

Hugs,

Julia

Julia and HM,

 

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement!  You are both so lovely!  The doctor canceled due to a meeting.  Have rescheduled for Monday, but their practice seems very disorganized and after speaking with 3 different people on the phone, I’m not sure what info is correct!  I won’t go into the details about that.  So, I also scheduled with an addictions specialist later next week in case the doc falls through again.  Wowza, this is stressful all the anticipation and just trying to get in to see someone. 

 

I hope you are both having a good day!

 

Big Love,

 

Uni

Hi Uni - I am sorry it did not work out yesterday to see the doctor but am glad you got another appointment!  I am proud of you because you are trying to help yourself out of a horrible place.  I believe it will work out and you will get relief.  It is great you also have a back up plan!!!  You are doing great with this!  I am hoping and praying that you feel better and I hope the support and encouragement here helps you while you are trying to do the things you need to do for yourself!  You so deserve a break!  You are showing great strength by sharing your story and I am sure it will help others, you help me by being here!  Thank you!  Hang in there! 

Love,

Julia  :smitten:

Welcome Sand! I hope we are a good fit for you and your needs, and feel the love and support and encouragement that is the core of this group.

 

All of us are so used to being pill shamed by the unknowing , and we really need to stop taking that on.

Hi Baddove - you are so right about that!  We all need to do what we need to do for ourselves.  Sometimes taking an additional dose or up dosing is what we need to get through.  I see no shame in that and I see no shame in reinstating after a period of time if that is what someone has to do to get through whatever they are dealing with!  Life can be hard as hell and we do not need others judging us!

Hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

Hi guys,

Just stopping by to say I wish you all the best Friday! I did a cut this morning. I am down to .91mg a day! Under 1mg. For me, that's really good. Here's hoping that I don't have worse WD symptoms than I do already. I am seeking stability. If I keep cutting the way that I am, the percentage will get bigger with each cut. I hope I am one of the lucky ones that can get away with bigger cuts. When I tried to take fewer doses, I had to make my doses higher and I had paradox when I tried that, so I went back to 7 doses a day. I think when I get way down, I'll cut by eliminating doses since I dose so frequently. I'll do a combo of cutting doses and cutting the amount of my doses and see how that works. I just don't want to over do it.

I'm just thinking out loud:)

Take Care,

HM

Hi guys,

 

Just stopping by to say I wish you all the best Friday! I did a cut this morning. I am down to .91mg a day! Under 1mg. For me, that's really good. Here's hoping that I don't have worse WD symptoms than I do already. I am seeking stability. If I keep cutting the way that I am, the percentage will get bigger with each cut. I hope I am one of the lucky ones that can get away with bigger cuts. When I tried to take fewer doses, I had to make my doses higher and I had paradox when I tried that, so I went back to 7 doses a day. I think when I get way down, I'll cut by eliminating doses since I dose so frequently. I'll do a combo of cutting doses and cutting the amount of my doses and see how that works. I just don't want to over do it.

I'm just thinking out loud:)

 

Take Care,

 

HM

Hi HM - I am glad you are able to make a cut.  I will say that from my experience, stability is the key to being able to keep cutting.  If I am not stable and make a cut, it is horrible and it takes weeks sometimes to make another cut.  I want to be off this drug as well but I have found that cutting too frequently or making too big of a cut knocks me down and it is not easy to get back up.  I struggled for months after making an accidental double cut in early November.  It took months to recover and then I also make a cut while I was suffering and that also made things worse and I learned that I can not do that.  I really did not get stable again until a couple months ago.  I just wanted to share this with you because I saw you wrote about having symptoms, anxiety being one of them.  I am hoping things stay tolerable for you.

I also think, in my opinion, one of the reasons you are able to cut like you are is because you are dosing 7 times a day.  That really does keep the med in your system and definitely helps with interdose WD.  I think it is a smart approach. 

Have a good day and I hope your sleep improves.

Hugs,

Julia 

Hi guys,

 

Just stopping by to say I wish you all the best Friday! I did a cut this morning. I am down to .91mg a day! Under 1mg. For me, that's really good. Here's hoping that I don't have worse WD symptoms than I do already. I am seeking stability. If I keep cutting the way that I am, the percentage will get bigger with each cut. I hope I am one of the lucky ones that can get away with bigger cuts. When I tried to take fewer doses, I had to make my doses higher and I had paradox when I tried that, so I went back to 7 doses a day. I think when I get way down, I'll cut by eliminating doses since I dose so frequently. I'll do a combo of cutting doses and cutting the amount of my doses and see how that works. I just don't want to over do it.

I'm just thinking out loud:)

 

Take Care,

 

HM

 

Hi HM - I am glad you are able to make a cut.  I will say that from my experience, stability is the key to being able to keep cutting.  If I am not stable and make a cut, it is horrible and it takes weeks sometimes to make another cut.  I want to be off this drug as well but I have found that cutting too frequently or making too big of a cut knocks me down and it is not easy to get back up.  I struggled for months after making an accidental double cut in early November.  It took months to recover and then I also make a cut while I was suffering and that also made things worse and I learned that I can not do that.  I really did not get stable again until a couple months ago.  I just wanted to share this with you because I saw you wrote about having symptoms, anxiety being one of them.  I am hoping things stay tolerable for you.

 

I also think, in my opinion, one of the reasons you are able to cut like you are is because you are dosing 7 times a day.  That really does keep the med in your system and definitely helps with interdose WD.  I think it is a smart approach. 

 

Have a good day and I hope your sleep improves.

 

Hugs,

Julia 

Hi Julia 

I hear your words and I heed them. So far, I am stable with miserbale, but tolerable symptoms. I don't know how long I can keep cutting that way because the percentage keeps getting higher. I think when i go to cut next Friday, I'll only do a partial cut. Like cut 1ml off every other dose, instead of every dose. I'll have to see how I feel. Why do I have to have ANY symptoms? Why can't I just quit? Why did I ever need it to begin with? Panic and insomnia! Damn problems.

I am just whining. I sometimes (like, I think, BD did) fantasize that I could just go to detox and get it out of my system but I know darn good and well, it doesn't work that way. Long after Xanax is 'out of your system', you suffer withdrawals. I used to think that was the case too. Not that long ago; just get it 'out of your system'. But that's when the problems just begin.

Anyway, I hear what you're saying about being careful.

hugs! xoxo,

HM

Welcome Sand! I hope we are a good fit for you and your needs, and feel the love and support and encouragement that is the core of this group.

 

All of us are so used to being pill shamed by the unknowing , and we really need to stop taking that on.

 

Hi Baddove - you are so right about that!  We all need to do what we need to do for ourselves.  Sometimes taking an additional dose or up dosing is what we need to get through.  I see no shame in that and I see no shame in reinstating after a period of time if that is what someone has to do to get through whatever they are dealing with!  Life can be hard as hell and we do not need others judging us!

 

Hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

Thank you all so much for your comforting welcome.

I will post what happened when I am feeling a bit better

Hi guys,

 

Just stopping by to say I wish you all the best Friday! I did a cut this morning. I am down to .91mg a day! Under 1mg. For me, that's really good. Here's hoping that I don't have worse WD symptoms than I do already. I am seeking stability. If I keep cutting the way that I am, the percentage will get bigger with each cut. I hope I am one of the lucky ones that can get away with bigger cuts. When I tried to take fewer doses, I had to make my doses higher and I had paradox when I tried that, so I went back to 7 doses a day. I think when I get way down, I'll cut by eliminating doses since I dose so frequently. I'll do a combo of cutting doses and cutting the amount of my doses and see how that works. I just don't want to over do it.

I'm just thinking out loud:)

 

Take Care,

 

HM

 

Hi HM - I am glad you are able to make a cut.  I will say that from my experience, stability is the key to being able to keep cutting.  If I am not stable and make a cut, it is horrible and it takes weeks sometimes to make another cut.  I want to be off this drug as well but I have found that cutting too frequently or making too big of a cut knocks me down and it is not easy to get back up.  I struggled for months after making an accidental double cut in early November.  It took months to recover and then I also make a cut while I was suffering and that also made things worse and I learned that I can not do that.  I really did not get stable again until a couple months ago.  I just wanted to share this with you because I saw you wrote about having symptoms, anxiety being one of them.  I am hoping things stay tolerable for you.

 

I also think, in my opinion, one of the reasons you are able to cut like you are is because you are dosing 7 times a day.  That really does keep the med in your system and definitely helps with interdose WD.  I think it is a smart approach. 

 

Have a good day and I hope your sleep improves.

 

Hugs,

Julia 

 

Hi Julia 

I hear your words and I heed them. So far, I am stable with miserbale, but tolerable symptoms. I don't know how long I can keep cutting that way because the percentage keeps getting higher. I think when i go to cut next Friday, I'll only do a partial cut. Like cut 1ml off every other dose, instead of every dose. I'll have to see how I feel. Why do I have to have ANY symptoms? Why can't I just quit? Why did I ever need it to begin with? Panic and insomnia! Damn problems.

I am just whining. I sometimes (like, I think, BD did) fantasize that I could just go to detox and get it out of my system but I know darn good and well, it doesn't work that way. Long after Xanax is 'out of your system', you suffer withdrawals. I used to think that was the case too. Not that long ago; just get it 'out of your system'. But that's when the problems just begin.

 

Anyway, I hear what you're saying about being careful.

 

hugs! xoxo,

HM

Hi HM,

I hear you - I wish we could just stop taking it and be ok but a forced CT showed me that that is not even a possibility.  CT is hell!!  I think you are thinking about this the right way with the percentages and maybe making next weeks cut smaller.  I agree that if you are not having bad symptoms, if you feel you can handle it, if you want to make a bigger cut, you can.  I just know that like you said the percentages start really going up, it is not a wise choice and can cause some awful setbacks. 

It really does suck that the meds we are given to help us are the ones that are causing us so much pain and grief.  I hope the things you went on xanax for will calm down once you are off and if you need meds to help you that you can find ones that will not cause dependence and WD.

Hope you have a good night!

Hugs,

Julia 

Welcome Sand! I hope we are a good fit for you and your needs, and feel the love and support and encouragement that is the core of this group.

 

All of us are so used to being pill shamed by the unknowing , and we really need to stop taking that on.

 

Hi Baddove - you are so right about that!  We all need to do what we need to do for ourselves.  Sometimes taking an additional dose or up dosing is what we need to get through.  I see no shame in that and I see no shame in reinstating after a period of time if that is what someone has to do to get through whatever they are dealing with!  Life can be hard as hell and we do not need others judging us!

 

Hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

 

Thank you all so much for your comforting welcome.

I will post what happened when I am feeling a bit better

I hope you are doing well today!  We are here when you need us.

Take care.

Julia

Morning fellow travelers! I am reading through your posts, it's very hard for me to type. (I lopped off part of a finger to refresh you.) Heart, your 7 dose day strategy fascinates me. I too, wonder how you will manage as you go lower, if that will be sustainable.  I updosed because my injury and the drugs amped me up pretty bad. The second day I got a paradox, so I am back down again to 2.75x3. Day 2. I usually get a whap on day 3 anytime I change anything.

I am also on seroquel, and slept through a dose last night. That usually amps me up, so will see how today goes.

As of now, I have a horrendous whole head tension ache. That is most likely from missing a seroquel dose.

Hope everyone has some good moments and finds some peace through the weekend.

BD,

Thank you for taking the time to type for all of us. I hope your finger is getting better every day. I'm sorry you slept through your dose of seroquel and are feeling it now. Sounds like you got some paradox and had to go back down to your old dose. Are you going to hole there for a while? You initially did well on your updose.

My update,

I did my usual cut today and I don't think it's related to this at all since I am suffering from extraordinary insomnia (Even WITH my 4mg of Xanax, I had insomnia), but I didn't sleep last night. I am trying to remember the countless posts I have read about people who have come back from horrible insomnia to sleep again. From what I have read, ALL symptoms are reversible as the brain heals. I am also making an appointment with a GI doctor about the fact that I am not having good bowel movements. I have no pain, no bloating, but you obviously cant go on like that. I also go a long time between urinating. I don't feel the urge nearly as often as I used to despite drinking the same. The combination of my constipation and lack of desire to urinate makes me think my system is shutting down. I'll see what the doctor says.

Anyway, I am facing the day with a smile as always and hoping this is all reversible as I heal from this poison.

Happy Saturday, folks,

HM

Morning fellow travelers! I am reading through your posts, it's very hard for me to type. (I lopped off part of a finger to refresh you.) Heart, your 7 dose day strategy fascinates me. I too, wonder how you will manage as you go lower, if that will be sustainable.  I updosed because my injury and the drugs amped me up pretty bad. The second day I got a paradox, so I am back down again to 2.75x3. Day 2. I usually get a whap on day 3 anytime I change anything.

 

I am also on seroquel, and slept through a dose last night. That usually amps me up, so will see how today goes.

 

As of now, I have a horrendous whole head tension ache. That is most likely from missing a seroquel dose.

 

Hope everyone has some good moments and finds some peace through the weekend.

 

Hi Baddove,

I am sorry you have been having such a rough time. I am glad going up in dose helped you even if temporarily, I am sorry it did not last longer for you though!  I hope day 3 will not be the same whap that you usually experience!!  I really want you to have some relief from all your are going through! 

It is crazy how missing one dose of seroquel does that to you!  I hope your headache gets better as the day goes on.

Thank you posting, I am sure it is hard to do right now.  I too hope your finger is healing more and more each day.

I hope you have a better day and I am keeping you in my prayers.

Love,

Julia 

BD,

 

Thank you for taking the time to type for all of us. I hope your finger is getting better every day. I'm sorry you slept through your dose of seroquel and are feeling it now. Sounds like you got some paradox and had to go back down to your old dose. Are you going to hole there for a while? You initially did well on your updose.

 

My update,

 

I did my usual cut today and I don't think it's related to this at all since I am suffering from extraordinary insomnia (Even WITH my 4mg of Xanax, I had insomnia), but I didn't sleep last night. I am trying to remember the countless posts I have read about people who have come back from horrible insomnia to sleep again. From what I have read, ALL symptoms are reversible as the brain heals. I am also making an appointment with a GI doctor about the fact that I am not having good bowel movements. I have no pain, no bloating, but you obviously cant go on like that. I also go a long time between urinating. I don't feel the urge nearly as often as I used to despite drinking the same. The combination of my constipation and lack of desire to urinate makes me think my system is shutting down. I'll see what the doctor says.

 

Anyway, I am facing the day with a smile as always and hoping this is all reversible as I heal from this poison.

 

Happy Saturday, folks,

 

HM

HM - I am sorry you did not get any sleep !!  That makes things more difficult to deal with, 

I have had an issue with my bowels lately as well and do not urinate as much as I used to either.  The lower I go the more off it gets.  But I am sure it is just the taper.  We all seem to have to deal with so many different things during this taper.  I also believe we can and will heal completely once done with the taper.  Some things may take longer than others but I do believe they do go away.  I have had many issues that have already gone away and new ones that have started as I have gotten lower.  i believe these will go away too as I heal.  I also definitely believe we are healing as we go.

I am sending you positive vibes and prayers that you get better.  I think it is a wise decision to go to a doctor if things are bothering you that bad.  Hopefully it is just the taper and nothing more.  It is better to be safe than sorry.  I have gone to the doctor so many times in the last 5 years to mainly hear - it is health anxiety.  But one time it was my gallbladder and also h. pylori.

I hope you have a better day and get some sleep.

Hugs,

Julia 

BD,

 

Thank you for taking the time to type for all of us. I hope your finger is getting better every day. I'm sorry you slept through your dose of seroquel and are feeling it now. Sounds like you got some paradox and had to go back down to your old dose. Are you going to hole there for a while? You initially did well on your updose.

 

My update,

 

I did my usual cut today and I don't think it's related to this at all since I am suffering from extraordinary insomnia (Even WITH my 4mg of Xanax, I had insomnia), but I didn't sleep last night. I am trying to remember the countless posts I have read about people who have come back from horrible insomnia to sleep again. From what I have read, ALL symptoms are reversible as the brain heals. I am also making an appointment with a GI doctor about the fact that I am not having good bowel movements. I have no pain, no bloating, but you obviously cant go on like that. I also go a long time between urinating. I don't feel the urge nearly as often as I used to despite drinking the same. The combination of my constipation and lack of desire to urinate makes me think my system is shutting down. I'll see what the doctor says.

 

Anyway, I am facing the day with a smile as always and hoping this is all reversible as I heal from this poison.

 

Happy Saturday, folks,

 

HM

 

HM - I am sorry you did not get any sleep !!  That makes things more difficult to deal with, 

 

I have had an issue with my bowels lately as well and do not urinate as much as I used to either.  The lower I go the more off it gets.  But I am sure it is just the taper.  We all seem to have to deal with so many different things during this taper.  I also believe we can and will heal completely once done with the taper.  Some things may take longer than others but I do believe they do go away.  I have had many issues that have already gone away and new ones that have started as I have gotten lower.  i believe these will go away too as I heal.  I also definitely believe we are healing as we go.

 

I am sending you positive vibes and prayers that you get better.  I think it is a wise decision to go to a doctor if things are bothering you that bad.  Hopefully it is just the taper and nothing more.  It is better to be safe than sorry.  I have gone to the doctor so many times in the last 5 years to mainly hear - it is health anxiety.  But one time it was my gallbladder and also h. pylori.

 

I hope you have a better day and get some sleep.

 

Hugs,

Julia 

Julia,

  I feel better as the day goes on. It's only 11am here and I am 'waking up' so that I can enjoy my friends visit today. It is STUNNING to me how a human being can acclimate to low sleep. I guess people like me acclimate because what choice do we have? I hope I am among the success stories someday. Thank you so much for the well wishes.

HUGS!

HM

BD,

 

Thank you for taking the time to type for all of us. I hope your finger is getting better every day. I'm sorry you slept through your dose of seroquel and are feeling it now. Sounds like you got some paradox and had to go back down to your old dose. Are you going to hole there for a while? You initially did well on your updose.

 

My update,

 

I did my usual cut today and I don't think it's related to this at all since I am suffering from extraordinary insomnia (Even WITH my 4mg of Xanax, I had insomnia), but I didn't sleep last night. I am trying to remember the countless posts I have read about people who have come back from horrible insomnia to sleep again. From what I have read, ALL symptoms are reversible as the brain heals. I am also making an appointment with a GI doctor about the fact that I am not having good bowel movements. I have no pain, no bloating, but you obviously cant go on like that. I also go a long time between urinating. I don't feel the urge nearly as often as I used to despite drinking the same. The combination of my constipation and lack of desire to urinate makes me think my system is shutting down. I'll see what the doctor says.

 

Anyway, I am facing the day with a smile as always and hoping this is all reversible as I heal from this poison.

 

Happy Saturday, folks,

 

HM

 

HM - I am sorry you did not get any sleep !!  That makes things more difficult to deal with, 

 

I have had an issue with my bowels lately as well and do not urinate as much as I used to either.  The lower I go the more off it gets.  But I am sure it is just the taper.  We all seem to have to deal with so many different things during this taper.  I also believe we can and will heal completely once done with the taper.  Some things may take longer than others but I do believe they do go away.  I have had many issues that have already gone away and new ones that have started as I have gotten lower.  i believe these will go away too as I heal.  I also definitely believe we are healing as we go.

 

I am sending you positive vibes and prayers that you get better.  I think it is a wise decision to go to a doctor if things are bothering you that bad.  Hopefully it is just the taper and nothing more.  It is better to be safe than sorry.  I have gone to the doctor so many times in the last 5 years to mainly hear - it is health anxiety.  But one time it was my gallbladder and also h. pylori.

 

I hope you have a better day and get some sleep.

 

Hugs,

Julia 

 

Julia,

 

  I feel better as the day goes on. It's only 11am here and I am 'waking up' so that I can enjoy my friends visit today. It is STUNNING to me how a human being can acclimate to low sleep. I guess people like me acclimate because what choice do we have? I hope I am among the success stories someday. Thank you so much for the well wishes.

 

HUGS!

 

HM

Hi HM - Good Morning to you!!    I am glad it gets better for you as the day goes on!  That is good to hear!!  I agree - it is stunning how a person can adapt to low sleep - but like you said - what are going to do?  Really there is no choice. 

I hope you enjoy your friends visit today!  That sounds nice!!

I believe you will definitely be among the success stories!  You are doing great with your taper!

Take care.

Hugs,

Julia 

BD,

 

Thank you for taking the time to type for all of us. I hope your finger is getting better every day. I'm sorry you slept through your dose of seroquel and are feeling it now. Sounds like you got some paradox and had to go back down to your old dose. Are you going to hole there for a while? You initially did well on your updose.

 

My update,

 

I did my usual cut today and I don't think it's related to this at all since I am suffering from extraordinary insomnia (Even WITH my 4mg of Xanax, I had insomnia), but I didn't sleep last night. I am trying to remember the countless posts I have read about people who have come back from horrible insomnia to sleep again. From what I have read, ALL symptoms are reversible as the brain heals. I am also making an appointment with a GI doctor about the fact that I am not having good bowel movements. I have no pain, no bloating, but you obviously cant go on like that. I also go a long time between urinating. I don't feel the urge nearly as often as I used to despite drinking the same. The combination of my constipation and lack of desire to urinate makes me think my system is shutting down. I'll see what the doctor says.

 

Anyway, I am facing the day with a smile as always and hoping this is all reversible as I heal from this poison.

 

Happy Saturday, folks,

 

HM

 

HM - I am sorry you did not get any sleep !!  That makes things more difficult to deal with, 

 

I have had an issue with my bowels lately as well and do not urinate as much as I used to either.  The lower I go the more off it gets.  But I am sure it is just the taper.  We all seem to have to deal with so many different things during this taper.  I also believe we can and will heal completely once done with the taper.  Some things may take longer than others but I do believe they do go away.  I have had many issues that have already gone away and new ones that have started as I have gotten lower.  i believe these will go away too as I heal.  I also definitely believe we are healing as we go.

 

I am sending you positive vibes and prayers that you get better.  I think it is a wise decision to go to a doctor if things are bothering you that bad.  Hopefully it is just the taper and nothing more.  It is better to be safe than sorry.  I have gone to the doctor so many times in the last 5 years to mainly hear - it is health anxiety.  But one time it was my gallbladder and also h. pylori.

 

I hope you have a better day and get some sleep.

 

Hugs,

Julia 

Agree with all of  that. I am hanging in there. Having a reasonably sane day, which is not typical. Just so tired. Head pain has toned down. I looked up urinary and bowel symptoms, for you girls, they are in the big list. It still needs checking out. Your wise to be cautious when something is off, and not assume it's all withdraw, even if it usually is. Insomnia is horrible, especially if it is persistent, which tends to be the norm. I hope it gets better.

How is everyone else doing?  Would love updates from the rest of the tribe.

Loves and respect to all