I hope this doesn’t come off as bragging. Really, I just want to share this with folk who understand how difficult this is and hopefully help people expand what they think is possible during recovery.
A couple months ago, I got tired of distracting myself. Especially with all the COVID isolation, I felt irrelevant and it fed into the depression from withdrawal. So I was like — well, you didn’t think you would survive for a minute there. What do you want from life? So I signed up for a screenwriting class (write a film in 100 days. Oof!) thinking I’d be happy if I could just write one page. But having a challenge to focus on helped me do things I didn’t think were possible. I started reading again and my creativity and sense of humor started coming back online. I even started thinking about the future as a real thing.
I sent an application to Sundance for a revision-to-production workshop and got a scholarship. It’s still a bummer because I’m by no means healed. When I got the news, I felt that hollow place in my chest where expected positive emotions don’t happen. And most days I can’t sit still to focus, which is frustrating now that I know what I’m capable of.
So I guess I hope that y’all are finding your own ways to project into the future and live the fullest lives you can while you’re healing.
