Did I make a mistake by reinstating?

Hello. I stopped taking Clonazepam 0.5mg in March after a very fast withdrawal over 6 months, I had been in it for 5.5 years, highest dose 2mg. When I stopped in March hell ensued and had serious withdrawal issues, including 24/7 panic. I frantically researched what was happening and came across Heather Ashtons manual. Although I had been off the benzo for 6 weeks my withdrawals were so bad I asked my GP to reinstate me but to Valium as per the manual. Unfortunately I read the withdrawal schedule wrong and started with the wrong equivalent at 25mg instead of 10mg. I have been making 2mg reductions since April and am now at 10mg. Here is my issue, I have never really stabilised since I stopped the Clonazepam in March, maybe a little when I was on 25mg of Valium for a very short time but since then the withdrawal schedule has been he'll despite going low and slow. I was re reading HA manual and she actually said reinstating after you stop (even if cold turkey) isn't advised generally. Although I was in a very bad way I'm not sure I should have gone on Valium as the past 5 months have been hell. I am concerned as I can't imagine another 6 months of this. Following the slow taper just isn't working for me, as I said I never stabilised once I stopped the Clonazepam in March. I am experiencing very physical side effects with memory, severe balance instability, leg weakness, heart palps, constant terror, anxiety,  not able to keep my head up. I require care from my partner and cant walk or stand for long or cook for myself, I need a chair to shower so I have been left very physically disabled atm and worry about progression the longer I stay on this. I am worried staying on this for another 6 months will cause permanent brain damage. I am not seeing any benefits of doing a slower taper so I wonder if I should grit my teeth and do 1mg cuts from now on every week and be done in 10 weeks rather than dragging it out for another 5 or 6 months.My main concern is surviving this withdrawal and also giving myself the best chance of nit having protracted withdrawal ls or a long term or even permanent brain injury. If anyone has been in a similar position could you please help. I am so frightened for my life. Kate

I'm sorry to hear you're suffering so much, you've been on a very challenging road.  The problem with speeding up a taper is that if you're having a lot of difficulty then its probable you'll have difficulty once you're off of the drug.  Getting off the drug is only the first step, next comes recovery and its sometimes difficult to tell the difference.

 

I honestly don't know what your answer is but I don't feel you need to worry about permanent brain damage, we're remarkable creatures with an amazing ability to heal so whatever your decision is, I feel it would be best to take that scenario out of your deliberations. 

 

We don't know who will be protracted and I don't believe it has anything to do with how we rid ourselves of the drug, this is only my personal opinion based on my experience.  I believe genetics, length of time on the drug, age and general health are more significant factors.