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worried about rapid taper


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I didnt know where else to put this. I have a couple threads going but ive not had any response as of late.

Im now at my wits end and getting extremely overwhelmed.

 

I seen my gp yesterday and hes still pushing a rapid taper with me. Im 65 and my withdrawal symptoms have become worse. I am still expected to end my taper by spring of this year and have only started tapering off a 25 yr daily dose of X since roughly November of 2022.

 

I am stuck at 3mg per day and my gp has not read any of the material i gave him back in December 2022 that wintersun advised to give him on tapering and the like. He refused to lower my taper to 5% and allow me to lead my own taper , by going much slower so the withdrawal process is tolerable for me , saying , ' you cant do that', and he also suggested crossing or switching me over to another medication,  such as Abilify or other antidepressants, which I refused to do. I know from past experience with those drugs, that i will end up in far worse shape than i am trying to get off of the X I'm on now.

 

I felt completely defeated and just gave up trying to reason with him. I was so upset after that, when i got home i just broke down. Theres  no way i will be able to make it down to 0 by April 2023, no way. Im suffering now and actually have been for the last 6 mths with this. I searched for a new doctor, in the hope I would find one who is far better with tapering, but so far no luck. My only other option is the hospital or a walkin clinic.  These are hugely difficult and not very promising. 

 

I was starting to get depressed last night , so I read some of the success stories here, looking for hope of getting through this somehow.  I read Gitfiddle's post on how she went slow, 2 yrs or so off her X and took special notice of a Dr S. Shipko she mentioned. I found him on YouTube and a book on kindle called  Xanax Withdrawal.

I found his website and email,  so i emailed him asking if he could perhaps suggest a proper tapering process for me.

I truly didn't expect him to respond,  but he did.

 

This is what he said in regards to how my doctor is handling my tapering....

 

""I don't think that it can be done in the timeframe you mention.  The tapering has to be based on how you are doing after each dosage cut, sometimes going up a bit if the cut is too much. If you are doing well, you might be able to go faster, but the only way this will work is if you are in control of the tapering speed.  I describe this in my eBook, Xanax Withdrawal.  At 65 with the dosage and duration that you describe, there is a real risk of hypertensive or hypotensive stroke or heart attack, seizures or suicide - to name a few.  It is not just a matter of discomfort. I think that at your age, rather than trying to go entirely off, harm reduction, by trying to get the dosage down to 2 mg may be more reasonable.  Even this would take a long time.  No set schedule, but I would estimate that would take 1 - 2 years from today. Feel free to share this with your doctor.  I would be happy to speak with him/her  if he they are interested.

 

 

 

Best Wishes,

 

Dr.S.""

 

I was shocked at what he said, and I printed out the whole thing. Being I live in Canada and hes in California,  I'm not sure my doctor would even take this seriously,  but this man is a psychiatrist, wouldnt that account for something?

 

I need advice on where to go from here now. Do i give this email to my doctor or someone else, like a pharmacist or is any of this worth bothering with now? Im on the verge of giving up.

 

 

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Hi moojoo22

 

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation because of your ill-informed, ignorant doctor. I can only tell you what I would do if in your position - I would give the printed email to my doctor, look him in the eye, and say… I am not leaving this room until you have read this email from this psychiatrist and the other information I have provided you with over this time.

 

Your doctor has taken a oath to do no harm, and so I would advise him that you are documenting all of your discussions with him, and if anything happens to you health wise, there are those around you that will not only hold him solely responsible, but he will be held accountable through legal means. At this point, there is nothing for you to save with this doctor, and he has no power over you, he just thinks he does because he’s a doctor. I would just flat out refuse to leave the room until he at least has the common decency to read what you have provided him, both on the day, and on past occasions. There’s a saying - “ignorance is no excuse” and this also applies to medical professionals. Dig your heels in, moojoo, you have absolutely nothing to lose with this doctor. He’s already causing you unnecessary suffering.  Please keep searching for another doctor, don’t give up on that.

 

Again, so sorry you have been put in such a terrible position by your doctor :hug:

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I'm sorry you've been put through this terrible ordeal. I hope you're able to switch to a more knowledgeable, kind, patient centered doctor soon so you can begin a sensible, slow taper.  Once you've tapered down to 2mg you may be able to reassess and find it's reasonable to keep tapering. 
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I plan on going back in soon, i am tired as heck right now and mentally exhausted. I need to recharge and I will be going back in mad as hell this time. As you said and i agree Wintersun, theres nothing to save with him now.

Even if i cant find another doctor, and he will be searching for me,since by law here in Canada , NO DOCTOR can outright abandon or fire a patient without good cause. Ive done everything hes asked me to up to this point,even when i openly disagreed with him. 

Im trying to keep a stiff upper lip, but I must say, it is getting harder to stay positive. Nor am i sure ive the energy to push this much longer. I am glad though for all my buddies here. Thank you for all your thoughtful advice.  :smitten::highfive:

 

 

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Hi moojoo22,

 

I'm glad you reached out to this Dr. Shipko. He's absolutely right about the risks of tapering too quickly and about the manner and rate to be able to taper safely. I hope you can get this resolved and on a safe taper schedule that keeps your symptoms as minimal as possible.

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This is a long shot but I wonder if the folks at Toronto-based Outro Health (see link below) might be able to give you suggestions on how to find a doctor who would be willing to work with you on a safe and gradual taper?

 

The current focus of Outro Health (OH) is helping individuals safely taper off antidepressants. However, my sense is that OH may also be exploring the possibility of expanding its services at some point to include helping individuals safely taper off benzodiazepines.

 

Link:

Outro Health | Safely Taper Off Antidepressants

https://www.outro.com/

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Moojoo2

 

I responded on your other thread

 

If you’re in the Toronto area or anywhere in Ont, I can help.

 

You need to find a RAAM clinic.

 

They will taper you off using Ashton.

 

They are pretty ignorant about the severity of symptoms and frankly don’t understand why I’m so bad, but they let me go at my pace.

 

Let me know where you are, and I can try and help.

 

We’re here to help

 

Winnie

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Someone mentioned RAAM before on here and I checked it out and found a clinic in my area, but they kind of taper a bit too fast and I had mentioned I didn't want to cross over to another benzo since I had been tapering fairly well off the X , at that time I contacted them, (last year)...going at my own pace and trying to ward off the doctors BS. Its just him refusing to allow me to do it my way.

Dr Shipko suggested possibly holding at 2mg, or get down to that in time and remain at that dose for as long as I need. This is what I will be giving to my doctor next week. I was unable to get back out to see him this week and I can only muster a phone call and email ,at the moment, because of all the stress. I can email him a copy of that email from DR Shipko. ( good Lord thats a lot of emails  .. !)

 

I also have a session with the therapist tomorrow, weather permitting, and I will be passing the email from Dr Shipko onto her as well.

He ( my doctor) seriously cant expect me to continue on his way if I have worse chances of ending up sicker than I am now. I will also speak to my pharmacist, who has a good idea of whats going on and who I know personally, and let him in on whats happening now. I will attempt a call to him tomorrow depending on how I feel. Right now I am feeling a little sick to my stomach worrying about all this.

I appreciate everyone's help, I  really do. But I am starting to get  over anxious and want to keep my mind busy with other things for a while. Im just too over stressed with all this and I dont want any feelings hurt.

I am so happy that there is so much caring and concern here. Again, thank you all.

I do have enough meds to keep me going for another 10 days or longer, simply because I couldnt taper down to the 2.5 mg from the 3 mg this fast from the last week of December. I am going by my symptoms and how I am able to function. Right now its just feeling very tired and overwhelmed...so I will keep you all updated as I move forward. One last thing I remember my *DA* doctor saying before I left his office yesterday ,that if I ran out before the end of this month , he would fax in enough to get me to the 29th. We shall see how that goes. I dont want to say to much more about it right now

 

Thank you all so much and thumbs up to all of you who are plowing through your own suffering. I wish I could make it all stop for every.single .one .of you. I do.

God Bless!  :mybuddy:

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I’m not sure which RAAM clinic you called, but yes some aren’t that great.

 

I go to the one at Women’s College Hospital and I am able to tell them how I want to do it.

 

They even leave people on and get them to a lower dose.

 

But every dr is different, even at this place.

 

I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted, but I’d seriously go to the RAAM clinic and show them the email and you might get more reception than your dr.

 

Tell them that the latest research is to not switch the benzo you are used to.

 

I wish I never switched to Valium. I’m a rapid metabolizer and it’s terrible drug.

 

It’s possible to taper from Xanax, just by taking it more times a day.

 

Canada is so stupid about benzos.

 

I’m so sorry you’re in this position.

 

Good luck. Reach out to me if you need help.

 

Winnie

 

Ps. They also let me hold as long as I want and need.

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I plan on going back in soon, i am tired as heck right now and mentally exhausted. I need to recharge and I will be going back in mad as hell this time. As you said and i agree Wintersun, theres nothing to save with him now.

Even if i cant find another doctor, and he will be searching for me,since by law here in Canada , NO DOCTOR can outright abandon or fire a patient without good cause. Ive done everything hes asked me to up to this point,even when i openly disagreed with him. 

Im trying to keep a stiff upper lip, but I must say, it is getting harder to stay positive. Nor am i sure ive the energy to push this much longer. I am glad though for all my buddies here. Thank you for all your thoughtful advice.  :smitten::highfive:

 

Hi moojoo22

 

Sorry if that previous reply of mine was pretty full on, I was feeling so angry with your doctor when I wrote it, and I try not to do that, but I do stand by most of what I said. We tend to cower to doctors, and they know it!

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Thats ok WinterSun, i always welcome your vaild input and advise.

Ive no intention of cowering to this doctor of mine. He knows dam well, if i get sparked , i do speak up. I have probably spoken up too much and maybe git a bit lippy with him, but i dont regret it. Hes been so condescending with me and snarky, lately,  that i would really love to punch him in the face.  :boxer: :boxer:

 

I have a phone call coming from my therapist today and im sending her a copy of Dr Shipkos email. Im not tolerating her condescending attitude with this tapering process neither.  If she refuses to help better than what she is, ill be waving her off. Im tired of being ignored and laughed at, which i remembered thats what my dam doctor did a few times during my appointment Wednesday. Telling me i cant lead my own taper or reduce my dose lower , at 5% a month...its doable,  he just doesn't want me in charge . My thinking is he has to be in control and if not, well , patients that speak up can just bugger off. Hes only about 8 yrs in practicing as a physician. Hes a newb  Lol.

 

We will see how todays chitchat goes with my therapist.  Im no longer in any mood to tolerate lip service and ignorance by these people. ( doctors and therapists at my clinic).

 

Hope you all have a great weekend.  Will talk later.  ;)

 

Good for you, moojoo,

 

I find it astonishing that doctors think the patient doesn’t have a right to question their advise and treatment, believing we should just blindly trust them with our lives. It’s called God Complex, and it’s rife throughout the medical community. It’s often extremely difficult to crack their overinflated egos and stop them from talking down to us.

 

Enjoy your weekend, moojoo!

 

I hope it’s better than my Friday the 13th - A unattached runaway trailer from a gardening service came rocketing down my hill and smashed into my car writing it off completely, then I melted a chord and blew up the toaster, and then I burned my arm badly on the oven. Couldn’t wait for midnight to strike!  :laugh:

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I'm back again and messed up.

I was so concentrated on my tapering off X, that i completely forgot about the fact that i am also on Ox for sleep. Ive been taking 45mg nightly for about 20 yrs , i think. It may be longer, I just never thought about it. The doctor actually didnt even bother to question that one and he was only super focused on the X all this time.This is one screwed up situation now that im realizing it.

 

Im seriously ticked off at myself for not thinking of that when i joined the forum here. The doctor had mentioned it only a few times before, thats about it. What should I do at this point?

 

I know Im working hard to get off the X, seeing its the most potent, and probably one reason why i completely forgot about it. But i will be setting up an appointment to see the clinics pharmacist,  whom was suggested by my therapist Friday. She also mentioned Harm Reduction? From  Dr. S's message  Wednesday via email, he pretty much said the same thing. Im a newb about that so, its sounding like im headed into a whole new ball game here. I'm really getting confused and anxious now. More so about whats coming next. I take nothing else, if theres any question about that.

 

The pharmacist will be well aware of the therapist notes and the doctor's,  so my thinking is she will ask me about the Ox as well. So now I know I may have to try to taper off the Ox  as well or should i remain focused on the X taper?  Another conundrum and Im getting wore down by this. I never had problems with my meds at all until the doctor suddenly decided I had to cut the X in half last year, mainly because he was worried I would get dementia . All this suffering and for what. Its starting to work on my anxiety and stress at one huge phenomenal rate.

 

I certainly didnt mean to leave that out, with all thats been going on since last year, it just never seemed all that important to me I guess...  :/  old brain , not quite the same. ** sighs**

:'(

 

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Hi moojoo,

 

We’ve had or have quite a few tapering two different benzo’s, so don’t be overly concerned. Just post that message you sent via PM here so anything we discuss has context to others, and so others can offer you feedback.  :thumbsup:

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I edited it a bit Winter sun , as I left some thoughts out. Im super freaked out right now. Between Dr S's email and the heart/stroke scare now and this ongoing rapid taper from X, I just dont know what to do now or how to cope with this. I am seriously terrified of going through way worse withdrawals and getting sicker at my age. I just turned 65 , and am so upset now..sorrry.... :-\
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I edited it a bit Winter sun , as I left some thoughts out. Im super freaked out right now. Between Dr S's email and the heart/stroke scare now and this ongoing rapid taper from X, I just dont know what to do now or how to cope with this. I am seriously terrified of going through way worse withdrawals and getting sicker at my age. I just turned 65 , and am so upset now..sorrry.... :-\

 

Hi moojoo,

 

Will reply properly a little later. I have to go to a few bodywork’s as my car was in a stationary accident on Friday and I have to get a few quotes.

 

As understandable as it is, please don’t work yourself up too much. We will work through this with you!

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Hi moojoo

 

So there are a number of issues to work through here, so we’ll just take it step by step. I’ll also ask other moderators and admin to post any thoughts they may have about your situation.

 

1) clearly, your doctor has no idea what he’s doing or how he’s hurting you. If he can’t be brought around to helping you rather than harming you, then it really is important that you find another doctor. It’s not essential for potential replacements to be benzo wise (although preferable), they just need to be open to working and learning alongside you, rather than being completely dismissive, working against you, and causing increased unnecessary suffering. They just need to be open to a much more sensible, slower taper.

 

2) If I were in your position, I would focus on tapering just one of the benzodiazepine medications at a time, so I would continue to just focus on the Xanax and leave the Oxazepam for last.

 

3) issues associated with dosing two short half life benzodiazepines - Using the conversion calculator, your 3mg daily Xanax dose = 45mg Diazepam (Valium) and your 45mg Oxazepam nightly dose = 22mg Diazepam. The half life of the Xanax is 9-20hrs and the Oxazepam has a half life of 3-24hrs. Because of the very short half life of these medications, most people have to dose more than once per day to avoid interdose withdrawals. I would say the reason you haven’t experienced interdose withdrawals during the day from the nightly Oxazepam doses is because of the Xanax, so it makes sense to me that as you taper away the Xanax, you will reach a stage where you will not only be going through periods of withdrawal from the Xanax reductions, but you may also eventually begin experiencing underlying interdose withdrawals from the Oxazepam, so at some point down the road, you will most likely have to split your 45mg nightly Oxazepam dose into 2 or 3 doses and dose multiple times a day because of it’s short half life. But these are things that can be dealt with when the time comes. Just focus on slowly tapering the Xanax first, but I wouldn’t even begin tapering from the 3mg until the issues with your doctor have been resolved and your stress levels have lessened considerably.

 

We will help you to devise and adjust your taper plan as needed along the way.

 

Let’s just see how it all plays out with your doctor in regard to the other psychiatrists email… and then we’ll know where things stand for you. Also, keep seeking out another doctor, preferably one who has the ability to feel compassion for their patients.

 

I know this appears to you to be a monumentally difficult task at the moment, but with the right support and a sensibly slow and adjustable taper plan, it doesn’t have to be the long painful process you fear it will be. You just need support, and a taper rate that works comfortably for you, as there’s no such thing as tapering too slowly.

 

In the meantime, I’ll ask other moderators or admin to share anything they may have to offer.

 

 

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Thank you  Winter sun. I was thinking pretty much the same thing in regards to focusing on just tapering off the xanax for now. I just didnt see the oxazepam as being a  huge issue, i dont think i ever did. My old doctor from back in the late 90s had prescribed the oxazepam first but i continued to have bad anxiety/panic attacks during the day, and after 2 psychiatrists and 2 psychologists, and numerous trials of a myriad of different antidepressants and SSRI's, within less than a years span, and which none could be tolerated, I was eventually prescribed xanax to take during the day. I remember the pscyh docs and none of them were particularly helpful, just more interested in drugging me up. I told my doctor at that time i was done with that garbage. Little did i know i was on my way to hell anyway.

 

So essentially ive been on them both for close to the same amount of time. Probably only a year apart. I went over my medical records i got a couple years ago, and was trying to see when exactly all this crap started, all i found was 2006 of both listed as my only medications history when i was referred to see a neurologist for ongoing rotator cuff , back and other joint pain.  At that time i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia,  which is just a fancy way of telling me , " we dont know whats wrong with you so we'll give it this name", kind of thing.

 

Ive tried to get the clinic to go back farther in my records, but the accounts office said they couldnt find anything  earlier than 1997. So thats all i have to go on.

 

I am going in to see the clinics pharmacist on Wednesday morning ,as my therapist advised, and see  if she can figure out how to slow this tapering down and she mentioned the harm reduction part as well. I just want this whole situation to end. Im getting terribly worn out with this whole thing.  Im also taking that copy of my email from Dr.S. with me. Also advised by therapist.

 

I truly value all your inputs and will take it with me when i go Wednesday to see the pharmacist,  as you all have the experiences and knowledge of how this all works. Its important to me, very important.  The doctor? If this pharmacist helps me as i am hoping,  he will have to listen to her. I know it, as my therapist said hes young and still needs education in this field so, fingers crossed.  God knows im now getting extremely overwhelmed and petrified with this now..  its a lot to take in... *** breathe***

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Hi moojoo22, I was just reading the last few posts by you and Winters sun and saw you made an unwelcome discovery but I’m glad you did so we can help you work this out.

 

I agree with Winters sun about focusing on the Xanax taper for now, typically we suggest tapering the shorter acting benzo first but since you’re already working on the Xanax it makes sense to continue doing that.  I hope you won’t be overwhelmed by what’s happened but I know this has to be discouraging. 

 

In the back of my mind I’m wondering if the Oxazepam was the cause of your panic and anxiety and that’s why the Xanax was the only drug that helped you.  And of course, that fibromyalgia diagnosis is a pretty common one for us too.  Oh well, its not important at this point but I shake my head at the ignorance of the practitioners prescribing these drugs. 

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TRIGGER ALERT!!!

 

Thank you Pamster, i agree with you and Winter sun.

 

Im going to relay that to the pharmacist Wednesday,  and hope she is of more help than the doctor on this, but at least i now have my therapist on board with me on this,  even though she can only advise to a certain degree. Her reading the email from Dr Shipko,  and checking out his website was encouraging.  She did say she understood my pain. And i was suffering anxiety/panic attacks long before,  years from when i was a very young girl. I remembered my first one, as young as 5 yrs old. Some said its genetics,  others say how one was raised, maybe a traumatic experience? I question it often.

 

Forgive me, im just not so positive about many things these days, since ive been pretty much shoved through a sieve for years,I  keep worrying that all this will end badly. Im still struggling to get myself back up off my backside. 

 

 

AGAIN...TRIGGER ALERT!!

 

I  just had a sort of breakdown or epiphany earlier today.  I was doing dishes and trying to occupy  my mind and this sudden vision of thousands of hands and arms , waving and screaming above water, and the faces of peoples faces below, the water,  horribly distorted in pain ,  suffering, drowning became so surreal, i just stopped and at that very point became quite emotionally overcome by sadness, i  broke down in tears. It was so strong, emotionally. It was like i  envisioned this whole forum in those poor faces,  and every single personal story ive read made me feel more connected,  attached somehow.  I felt the pain,sadness , fear, all of it.  Its happened to me before, but not this intense. Is this normal or am i actually losing my mind? Ive always , almost never shared such things with anyone. I merely keep thoughts or visions like that to myself.

 

Im ok now, and hopefully it wont hit me again.  :(

 

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I’m relieved to know you had anxiety before you were put on the Oxazepam, at least it wasn’t the cause of your distress.

 

It sounds like you’re dealing with intrusive thoughts and they can take many forms, I’m sorry it was so powerful but what you described fits our plight perfectly.  You can share these thoughts here without judgement, the fear and pain we go through effects us deeply.

 

I’m glad to know you have a therapist who understands and the pharmacist sounds helpful too, and you have us so please don’t lose hope.

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I agree with Pamster & Winter's sun that it's best to focus on your Xanax taper.

I hope you won't be too hard on yourself about the Oxazepam. It wouldn't have made sense to start tapering the Oxazepam now anyway. 

 

The vision you had was intense but not out of the ordinary for withdrawal.  There are all sorts of mental and visual phenomena that happen during withdrawal - much of it is a mystery, and it can be disturbing.  As our brain readjusts it can struggle more than usual to make sense of things. 

 

I hope you find some resolution soon with the support of your therapist and your meeting with the pharmacist.  This quest in itself is a big stressor.  I wish I could fast forward it for you. 

 

I also want to mention to you that I started on my benzo withdrawal journey at age 65.  Three years later I wrote my Success Story.  I am worlds better now.  I think there are quite a few of us here who have traveled this difficult path in our 60s and older.  I hope you'll take heart that other older individuals have recovered.

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Not much changed on the rapid taper when I spoke to the pharmacist. I was expected to go on an SSRI or other antidepressant type drug, and she went on about how there are so many new meds out there to help with my anxiety and withdrawal from the X.

Im in a rough state now. Im back where I was before. Emotionally and physically. My dam health is declining, i can barely eat, sleep or stop crying.

Nothing was truly promising that she told me. She went on telling me it was generally the doctors decision on how he tapers me and withdrawals are pretty much assumed to be not so bad and mainly anxiety related ( according to her).

Ive been crying most of the day, giving up again and now suffering excruciating muscle spasms in my upper back that comes around to the right side of my rib cage across my liver. (I also have NAFLD, diagnosed 2 yrs ago, stage 3) Im noticing that from all the stress my doctor has put me through these past months, has increased the bloating and stomach pain around my liver, so the specialist wants to see me but I said lets just do another fibroscan, as I said the doctors been  stressing me out, fighting me every bloody inch of the way , not allowing me to lead my own taper and give my system time to catch up and calm down. The taper speed is too rapid and even emailing the Dr S's email to the pharmacist did little. Its all in the clinic, so theyre all sticking together. I guess. I tried calling other places , but no one was available as it was late.

Doctors suppose to call tomorrow, after whatever the pharmacist tells him, and I know it will be pretty much useless saying anything to him now. I did mention to this woman pharmacist, that I may as well look for another doc, but she made some remark about me not "aggravating him"? Like whats he doing to me? And he started that one last year, telling me if I wasnt happy with his practice and the treatment, that I was free to look for another doctor, no hard feelings....I think he wants me to bugger off. Its dam difficult to find another doctor around here these days.

I dont know what else to say to him. Hes dug his heels into my backside and now Im sicker than I was a few short weeks ago and so is my husband. I think I cried so hard that I felt like my brain just snapped in half. It hurt to cry that hard. Ive no hope left.None.

Im sorry for not having the strength so many of you have, but Im not looking forward to the next few years or whatever I have left, suffering like this and then die anyway.

Im off to try and sleep, have a good weekend. Again, sorry for such a negative post, you can remove it if needed.

 

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I’m so sorry Moojoo

 

I was afraid this would happen.

 

It’s Canada, they don’t know much here.

 

Please call the RAAM clinic again.

 

They will taper you and not as quickly as your dr.

 

Have them call the Drs at Women’s College Hospital RAAM for getting them to understand how sensitive some patients are.

 

They are letting me taper myself.

 

For example I jus tapered 0.075 mg 10 days ago and I’m dying!

 

They will take all the burden off your family dr.

 

They can also call CAMH in Toronto, some drs and pharmacists there know how sensitive some people are too.

 

Don’t give up.

 

Call more RAAM clinics tomorrow.

 

Call WCH RAAM clinic. I don’t even go in for apts there, everything is by video.

 

Good luck.

 

Winnie

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Not much changed on the rapid taper when I spoke to the pharmacist. I was expected to go on an SSRI or other antidepressant type drug, and she went on about how there are so many new meds out there to help with my anxiety and withdrawal from the X.

Im in a rough state now. Im back where I was before. Emotionally and physically. My dam health is declining, i can barely eat, sleep or stop crying.

Nothing was truly promising that she told me. She went on telling me it was generally the doctors decision on how he tapers me and withdrawals are pretty much assumed to be not so bad and mainly anxiety related ( according to her).

Ive been crying most of the day, giving up again and now suffering excruciating muscle spasms in my upper back that comes around to the right side of my rib cage across my liver. (I also have NAFLD, diagnosed 2 yrs ago, stage 3) Im noticing that from all the stress my doctor has put me through these past months, has increased the bloating and stomach pain around my liver, so the specialist wants to see me but I said lets just do another fibroscan, as I said the doctors been  stressing me out, fighting me every bloody inch of the way , not allowing me to lead my own taper and give my system time to catch up and calm down. The taper speed is too rapid and even emailing the Dr S's email to the pharmacist did little. Its all in the clinic, so theyre all sticking together. I guess. I tried calling other places , but no one was available as it was late.

Doctors suppose to call tomorrow, after whatever the pharmacist tells him, and I know it will be pretty much useless saying anything to him now. I did mention to this woman pharmacist, that I may as well look for another doc, but she made some remark about me not "aggravating him"? Like whats he doing to me? And he started that one last year, telling me if I wasnt happy with his practice and the treatment, that I was free to look for another doctor, no hard feelings....I think he wants me to bugger off. Its dam difficult to find another doctor around here these days.

I dont know what else to say to him. Hes dug his heels into my backside and now Im sicker than I was a few short weeks ago and so is my husband. I think I cried so hard that I felt like my brain just snapped in half. It hurt to cry that hard. Ive no hope left.None.

Im sorry for not having the strength so many of you have, but Im not looking forward to the next few years or whatever I have left, suffering like this and then die anyway.

Im off to try and sleep, have a good weekend. Again, sorry for such a negative post, you can remove it if needed.

 

I’m so sorry to hear he’s caused you to feel so broken and defeated, moojoo, but just try and keep a sliver of positivity that things will eventually fall your way. See what your doctor says when you ask him if he read your email from the ‘benzo wise’ psychiatrist, who is so much more educated in these medications, on top of being a general practitioner. It would be ignorant for the GP to think he knows more than the psychiatrist… simply because he’s been considerably less educated in medications and their adverse affects. If I were you, I would listen to what the doctors thoughts were after reading the email, if he has, and if there’s no shift in his position on fast tapering, I would just remind him that he once told you that if you were unhappy with his treatment, you could find another doctor without there being any hard feelings. So I would advise him that unfortunately you have no choice but to look for a much more benzo wise doctor who is understanding and compassionate towards the intense suffering caused by the fast tapering of these medications and therefore sees the importance of putting your mental, emotional and physical health before a seriously flawed, I’ll-informed fast taper that further risks your overall health. He can’t dump you while you are looking for another doctor without facing considerable repercussions to his licence and reputation should you decide to take legal action against him. Cutting you off from your prescriptions altogether comes with all sorts of potential risks, as mentioned by the psychiatrist. Doing so would only show an extreme level of callousness and unprofessionalism by your doctor. Please keep looking for another doctor, any doctor, as they couldn’t possibly be as ignorant and uncaring as the doctor you presently see. I see that Winnie has provided you with a potential road map out of this, so I would follow through with that information and see where it leads you. It may be your answer. Keep believing in an eventual positive outcome, moojoo! :hug::smitten:

 

Winnie: Thank you so much for your advice!  :smitten:

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Hello Moojoo

Reaching out as I feel furious about your situation.

I work as a nurse in Australia. As someone already mentioned our oath as health professionals is to “Do

no harm”. I believe you have a right to report this doctor.

In Australia, we have both a health ombudsman &r health professional regulatory body that members of the public can make reports against health professionals. I’m not sure what’s available in Canada.

Tapering is like walking through hell. I’m having an ok day today however have been on occasions bed ridden, not eating, barely able to sleep etc. I’ve never felt more vulnerable.

I tried tapering too quickly & suffered the consequences. I’m currently holding on 6mg Valium. Will remain here until I feel stabilised. My doc has tried to push me to continue however I’ve had to set some firm boundaries around my recovery. Thinking of you. Take care

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