Tapering questions/plan

Hi there,

Some of you may know me as I have been trying to figure stuff out for the last month. My signature is very up to date so you can see where i am at as of today. I was started by my doc on Ativan (ugh) in Sept and became dependent on it very quickly (2 weeks) after using it as needed for anixety brought on by an AD switch. I somewhat stabilized at .5mg 3x a day and found this board and Ashton and realized that i needed to switch to Diazepam to taper. I thought it would be easy as I have used Diazepam as needed for anxiety for years (never on a regular enough basis to feel withdrawals but maybe i Kindled!) and never had issues.

I started crossing over to Valium as per Ashton (switching out half of my evening dose of Ativan (.25 would be half) for 2.5mg Valium. It seemed ok at first so after a week I crossed over the morning dose and got sick enough to have to stop. I got so so dizzy and nauseous foggy and i just hated it. I've heard numerous times that I will get used to it and its gonna take time and to do a slower crossover but I could not deal with the dizziness,  so I stopped the morning switch and stayed on the evening for another 2 weeks (with a short break) and continued to feel terrible. I wonder now if it wasn't just the lack of Ativan (cutting that evening dose in half) that threw me into such a swirl? TBF, when I was unstable on Ativan before i went to .5 3x a day I never felt the dizziness I felt when i crossed over. Not sure if that is relevant though. As of 2 days ago I stopped the valium and went back to Ativan .5 3x a day and feel so much better, at least for now. I do worry about some kind of rebound when the Valium is fully out of my system.

So now i am thinking about a very slow direct Ativan taper. As someone who wants as few sxs as possible (I know who doesn't) is this even an option and secondly, do i do the Valium crossover but cut less of my evening pill so it's not from .5 to .25. but I cut slower (maybe using liquid?). It's hard to tell what is the Valium and what is the Ativan cut!

I want to stop the ping ponging but feeling well enough to work ( I have to travel for work in 3 weeks) right now and actually leave the house is making me rethink how I do this.

I would love any advice you have. I have a Pdoc who thinks he can do this quickly but will go at whatever rate I want.

If you've come across me before and want to give me shit for stopping Valium too soon, please don't. No one is harder on me than me.

Appreciate any help...

Thanks,

Sherri

It sounds like you've made a decision to taper from the Ativan, or have you?  You mention " do i do the Valium crossover but cut less of my evening pill so it's not from .5 to .25. but I cut slower (maybe using liquid?)" but I get the feeling your heart isn't in this so I feel it would be wise to take it off the table, unless you're still considering it.  Making a decision can be empowering because indecision is hard on us so tell us what your decision is.  I hope no one will give you any grief because this is a personal decision and we all have to do what we feel is best.

Let us know what you want to do and we'll work with you towards that end. 

Oh Pamster, you nailed me. I am still undecided based squarely on the question of mine you highlighted. I think part of what I am looking for is help deciding (I know that is a tall order) and wondering if a slower taper off Ativan to V would help. I only say that because i am SO afraid to taper off of such a short acting benzo (Ativan). My system is just SO sensitive. Maybe some reassurance that is doable and seeing what that can look like will help. I live in NYC so have access to liquids, compounds, etc.

Sherri

Oh dear, I can see you're still struggling, I wish we could help you figure out what to do but the only thing I can tell you is I've watched members successfully taper off both medications.  Both Ativan and Valium come in liquid form from the manufacturer so you have very good options with both medications. 

Your system has become destabilized and the Valium isn't working for you like it has in the past, I know how frustrated you must be so I wonder if you're too freaked out to give it another try?  Our fear is powerful and if your feelings about Valium have reached a point of no return then you might have to give up on it because of that fear.  I know it doesn't make sense to give into the fear but that may be what you have to do in order to get moving forward again.  I know I'm not helping but I want you to know I understand what a difficult decision this is, both options involve pain and you have to choose which one will mean less, but how do we know?