Haljes- kel's story

When I had back surgery 4 years ago, my neurosurgeon told me to take  the klono everynight, along with vicodin. Well I stopped the vicodin because I didn't need it. When I told him I wasn't taking the klono everynight, he got mad at me. So I took it,0.5 everynight because he said so.

 

Never really gave it much thought.

 

I started thinking about it when my brother-in-law had problems coming off what he was given. So I started reading everything I could. I was surprised to find out what kind of med I was on.

 

I have to tell you I was really scared by all the things I read. I have a bad habit of working myself into a frenzy. The things I come up with in my head are almost always worse, than what they turn out to be for me. I have anxiety attacks sometimes, always have. I didn't even know this med was perscribed for that, until I came to this site.

 

Anyways  I would have just quit had I not come here. I was afraid to tell the people I love that I was worried about this. It was eating me up inside, because I wasn't doing anyting illegal. I was only doing what a doctor told me to. But suddenly you feel alone. I found that with my anxiety attacks it always became worse. because I didn't want the people around me to know I was having one. The more I tried to hide it the harder it was to breath. So one day I had one at work. I do hair. Anyways I was having one when I was doing a client. Now this lady is 70. She's always so put together and we have only had talks that were professional. So I'm having this attack, feeling like my neck is shrinking and the world is getting smaller. My client knew exactly what was happening, just by looking at me and she tells me " Honey I haven't worn a bra in  10 yrs, because everytime I get an attack I want to be naked." I laughed so hard, I couldn't imagine this polished 70 yearold walking around with no bra on. My attack stopped instantly.

 

My point is in that in laughter I made a friend. I realized I wasn't alone and I wasn't the only person who felt these feelings of no control and fear.

 

My taper was not difficult for me. I followed the tables and I waited 14 days between them. I did that all the way down and I'm ok. I'm better than ok, I'm great. I don't think I ever really felt anything bad. I know I'm probably very lucky and I hope it stays this way. It's been 12 days.

 

I do realize that the pills probally helped with my anxiety even though I didn't realize it.

 

But, now if I have one I just let the people around me know. If I need to go outside I do. I don't care if they don't understand or think I'm strange. It's very freeing when you take your power back. It pretty amazing finding out there are alot of people who feel like you do, and are just as afraid to speak up.

 

Nothing comes to us with power, only that which we give it. I meditate, I walk....I'm definitely a work in progress.

 

I realize that I need to take of me, feed my soul, and be true to me first. Then I can be the best wife and mother I can be.

 

We all can do this. Believing in yourself is huge and probably one hardest things to do. This forum is great and gives everyone the opportunity to say what they need to, and not worry, it helped me alot.

 

Good luck to everyone here, and I will keep you posted on my progress.

 

Thank you for posting your success story Haljes and for you beautiful positive words.  They will help many to know that coming of a benzo is not the end of their life, but the beginning of a new one!!

You take care and it will be lovely to hear of your progress.

Love your little story of the old lady, wasn't she just an angel getting you out of your panic attack?   

 

Love to you

Vicky 

That's a wonderful story, haljes.    I really admire your attitude and how you took control.  Things seldom are as bad as we can imagine them but I think most of us tend to overworry.  I know that I will be pointing people here when they begin to despair.  Thanks so much. 

Hi Haljes,

 

You know, most people report that once they are over withdrawal and feel recovered, they can better handle anxiety than they ever could in the past. The fact that you took Clonazepam for reasons other than anxiety, means that getting over the anxiety attacks is pretty much a certainty. I took Clonazepam to treat a neurological disorder - any anxiety I experienced was associated with withdrawal. You'll be fine.

 

I do have one question though - why were you prescribed Clonazepam - was it as an anticonvulsant? As far as I am aware, 0.5mg Clonazepam is not a therapeutic dose of Clonazepam when prescribed as an anticonvulsant, but I thought I should ask the question anyway.

 

Good luck with the rest of your recovery.

Hi Colin,

I was given the klono for nerve damage in my leg. And told to take it daily, probably forever. I'd rather feel occasional nerve firing in my leg.

Awesome story!  Thank you for posting! 

 

Love,

 

Jen

Thank you!

Missy

Thanks for your story.  Did you have and side affects from withdrawls?  Sure sounds like it went pretty smooth for you.  Congratulations on your success and I hope you continue to feel great!

 

mal

Hi Mal,

No I really didn't. My fear was much worse. Once I got that under control everything was fine. I trully never felt bad at all. I also have other friends that did not have problems. For awhile I thought when I had my period things were strange, I thought they had to do with the klono, but they didn't I'm starting menopause, hot flashes and low iron. Taking iron and that is helping with that, so I know it wasn't the pills. Also I was worried I wouldn't be able to sleep while withdrawaling ,so I took calcium with magnesium and zinc before bed. Never had a problem with that either. When I first got off the pills, I had some nerve firing in my leg, That has gone away. Only happens when I'm about to start my period, so I also figure the swelling must do that. I almost feel strange because none of the horrible things have happened to me. I feel like I shouldn't post to people, because my story is not bad. But, maybe that's why I'm hear to let people know That somtimes it does go ok. I can definetly tell I'm not on the pills anymore. The caritiy of your mind is amazing. I don't have to think so hard to come up with an answer. I wish you well in your journey and you will do great. The symptoms do pass. I'm a strong believer in positive thinking and meditation, because I have seen the proof repeatedly in my own life how it makes a difference. I know it helped me, If only to calm my fears.

Haljes, Thanks and yes your story matters so much!  You give me hope and your an inspiration.  My side effects have not been terrible but rather uncomfortable.  I have 3 bad days with every cut.  I still function and my nerves seem ok it is the headaches, head pressure, sweating, some weakness and towards the end unexplained weepiness and a little stomach issues but all tolerable.  There are so many bad stories that we do need to hear from people with good stories because as you said "they are not all bad".  I will be off soon and yes you are right there is some fear but I am a positive person too and I do believe we need to go forward.  I will not get caught up in this.  I am excited to come off. Thanks I needed to hear the good!!

 

mal

Hey Haljes =)

 

First of all, Congrats!!  Glad to hear it is going well for you.  I agree with Mal!  It is so nice to see a success story that didn't involve a lot of w/d symptoms.  I think my fear creates more problems than the actual taper.  I think I am hypersensitive to any physical changes and automatically associate 100% of the symptom with withdrawl.  I'm sure some if it is related, however thinking about it too much definitely magnifies the symptoms.

 

At any rate, don't feel bad posting!!!!!  People have to understand that everyone is effected differently, and if you expect the worst that may be what you get.  Mal has been great keeping me positive, and reading your post has helped immensely.  I hope that when I am free, I will be able to tell a similar story to yours =))

 

Cheers,

 

Keith

Hi, Haljes,

Congratulations on being benzo free.  Success stories like this are helpful to others.  Keep us posted for awhile so we can follow how you are doing post-benzo.

 

Patty  xo