You will heal too!

[[Buddie]]

[...] thank you so much for posting this but please tell me... did you have anxiety as a wd symptom, and if so did this COMPLETELY go away as well? Needing encouragement in this area today..  thank you

[[Buddie]]

Healing is possible.  Focus on speaking positively about your life and getting well, also focus on your health rather than stressing and worrying about every [...] symptom. Eventually they will all go away with time. Even sleep will come back! Your body will remember. What I learned is that when this is over you’ll be much stronger and you’ll appreciate life like never before.

Your post is an amazing and wonderful story.  Thank you so very much for writing it for all of us [...] suffering.   

I really like the part I quoted above.  I really need to reshift my focus back to knowing that I will eventually get well.  I was able to do that for the first couple of months and at times during the past few; but have actually become hopeless during this past week as I've been in a horrific wave that is unrelenting and has eroded away my resolve and [...]. 

If I could only know some how what my "eventually" is.  weeks?  months?  year?  Yikes.  This is such an unbelievable hell.  I want my life back so badly.  I want to experience life again.  Your post gives renewed [...].  Thank you.

[[Buddie]]

Hi [...]

I have read your signature and see that you have been making progress but that things have gone wrong again (hopefully briefly) from doing exercise.

That's a pity but presumably you did the exercise in the belief you were helping to make yourself better by becoming fitter. I have taken that approach; I went to the gym early on in my taper and sometimes I was left feeling appalling. But I persisted. Eventually my body coped better with this regime although ocasionally I had to take a break.

I think that the most important thing to bear in mind with all of this is that each day away from benzos is a day closer to eventual recovery even if it does not always feel like it. So many times I have thought: I am better; it is finally over- only for the symptoms to return. However, 20 months since my last fragment if I look at myself now compared to then I see that I have made so much progrss. If I look at myself and contrast myself with how I was before this trauma began I become frustrated that I am not fully well. So I try not to do that. It is better to focus on the progress I have made rather than the anger I feel that this has happened to me.

Something else which keeps me going is the belief that I can never allow myself to fall into the hands of psychiatrists again so I must be as positive as I can be. To be treated the way I was with psychiatric drugs again is truly unimaginable.

Best of luck with it all and try to be as positive as you possibly can be.

[...]

[[Buddie]]

Hi [...]

I have read your signature and see that you have been making progress but that things have gone wrong again (hopefully briefly) from doing exercise.

That's a pity but presumably you did the exercise in the belief you were helping to make yourself better by becoming fitter. I have taken that approach; I went to the gym early on in my taper and sometimes I was left feeling appalling. But I persisted. Eventually my body coped better with this regime although ocasionally I had to take a break.

I think that the most important thing to bear in mind with all of this is that each day away from benzos is a day closer to eventual recovery even if it does not always feel like it. So many times I have thought: I am better; it is finally over- only for the symptoms to return. However, 20 months since my last fragment if I look at myself now compared to then I see that I have made so much progrss. If I look at myself and contrast myself with how I was before this trauma began I become frustrated that I am not fully well. So I try not to do that. It is better to focus on the progress I have made rather than the anger I feel that this has happened to me.

Something else which keeps me going is the belief that I can never allow myself to fall into the hands of psychiatrists again so I must be as positive as I can be. To be treated the way I was with psychiatric drugs again is truly unimaginable.

Best of luck with it all and try to be as positive as you possibly can be.

[...]

[...] -- Bless you for reaching out to me with this wonderful note of encouragement.  I really need it today.  This wave is unrelenting.  I can't remember a good day.  Hubby needs to remind and reassure me constantly. 
THANK YOU!!! 

[[Buddie]]

Thanks [...], [...], [...], Laura, Hockeyboy, [...], [...], [...].

Hi [...]. Actually I first took Ativan about 20 years ago,  but was mostly on benzo's for the last 13 years. I don't think you can really say for certain that healing will take longer. I honestly believe that a slow taper is crucial and it sounds like you're on the right track.  Don't assume it will take a long time to heal. It might happen sooner than you'd imagine.  I'm so happy that my post is helping some of you.  I [...] really wanted to celebrate my 2 year anniversary and what better way than to share that you can get well too. 
[...]

[[Buddie]]

[...] thank you so much for posting this but please tell me... did you have anxiety as a wd symptom, and if so did this COMPLETELY go away as well? Needing encouragement in this area today..  thank you

Hi [...].  Yes, anxiety was really off the charts until I was about 8 months off. It gradually kept getting better as I learned how to deal with it on my own and not with a pill.  One way I know for certain I'm better is by how well I handle social situations where there is a lot of stress. For instance, last week I went with my sister to Chuck'E Cheese for my nephews birthday and it didn't phase me at all. In the past the loud sounds, lights, commotion would have driven me out the door, but I was fine. Also, I really handle stressful life events better than ever before.  It used to be if I had a stressful interview, meeting, etc, I would reach for a pill or a cigarette, but no more. I can handle it all now. I practice deep breathing, meditation, exercise and eating well. There is so much we can do to overcome intense anxiety. Part of handling stress when going through withdrawal is knowing your limitations. Don't take things on that you know are going to make you worse. Try as much as possible to [...] yourself and avoid things that you know will increase stress and anxiety. Obviously we cannot avoid all stressful situations in life, but we have to know when to say no and take care of ourselves.  I really [...] this helps you some. I promise it keeps getting better. 

[[Buddie]]

So I try not to do that. It is better to focus on the progress I have made rather than the anger I feel that this has happened to me.

[...]

Hi [...]. I did the same thing, focused on the progress I made and even had to forgive the doctors who prescribed these pills for too long.  It's been SO healing to forgive. I wasn't able to forgive them for a long time, but I honestly feel healthier now since I have forgiven them.  The anger and rage was only hurting me and I wanted to truly be free from it all, so I forgave them. That's not to say I'm in agreement with what they're doing, or that I feel it's okay at all that doctors so carelessly prescribe these drugs with no repercussions, but I needed to be free from the hurt and anger it caused.

[[Buddie]]

Hi buddies, [...] had another revelation [...] now.

As I was reading some posts on the forum today I realized how many symptoms and issues I had completely forgotten all about!  For instance intense heart palpitations and chest pain. It was unreal and I even went to the ER because I thought I might have a heart attack. Of course they didn't want to admit to me that it was withdrawal for legal reasons, but I'm certain my doctor got the picture after all I told her.  5 ER trips total the year I was in the worst of withdrawal.  What a nightmare. The pain was unbearable. How amazing that we can forget things like this as we move on with our lives.

You're all in my prayers for a full recovery and a happy life!
[...]

[[Buddie]]

[...] thanks a lot for this

It is so nice and gave me a lot [...] with my process and my future sleep. You are a great story for me and I want to say thanks again because its a relief to know that we heal like you.

Sergio

[[Buddie]]

Thanks Sergio. I [...] the sleep comes back for you soon. 

[...]