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An experience like no other


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Very, very cool. I just hit 15 months off and although I still have some annoying symptoms and even some more painful and persistent ones from time to time that make it difficult for me to fully function, I still feel like healing is right around the corner so it's good to hear someone else making a full recovery in a "reasonable" amount of time. This stuff wears on a person. Not knowing when (and when the benzo brain kicks in, IF) we will make a full recovery is frustrating. Hearing that other people have made it through always makes a difference.

 

Thanks for stopping by, Florida Guy

 

You are just about there.  The light at the end of that tunnel is getting so close, and is so bright, you will have to put the shades on.  It's been a long, strange journey, hasn't it.

 

take care

 

pj

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PJ:  I have never read any of your posts before this one.  Your story mirrors mine in many ways.  I am so glad to hear you are recovered!  This experience is harrowing to say the least, but I agree that on good days (and I am sure once recovered it is even more powerful) I feel such a gratitude for everything and such a passion for life.  It may be the gift of this trying experience, that and the compassion that is born of being humbled and needing understanding.  This forum is a lifeline to so many of us.  This experience is truly only understood by those who have gone this way before.  I am always so appreciative of those that still stop by here to support all of us still dealing with symptoms to encourage, educate and inspire.  Good luck to you PJ!  May you have a wonderful life and I hope you stop by to encourage from time to time

 

Hi turtlegirl, :)

 

Thank you so much for your kind words.

 

Whenever you may be feeling down , and somewhat discouraged, try to remember that what is waiting for you after this has ended  makes all that you had  to endure worth the struggle.

 

pj

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Hi PJ-- I don't know you but I really appreciate your story and your posts and those great quotes.  Thank you for sharing yourself with us.

 

--Rhi

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Congratulations!  Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a heartfelt and inspirational post.  It gives those of us still suffering some much needed hope to hold onto.  Enjoy your wonderful new life!  :)
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Hi PJ-- I don't know you but I really appreciate your story and your posts and those great quotes.  Thank you for sharing yourself with us.

 

--Rhi

 

Thank you,

 

Nice to meet you.  I hope you are doing well, and I wish you all the best.

 

pj

 

 

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Congratulations!  Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a heartfelt and inspirational post.  It gives those of us still suffering some much needed hope to hold onto.  Enjoy your wonderful new life!  :)

 

Hi,  :)

 

Thank you for the kind words.  I sincerely hope that you heal from this madness soon, and can do your success story.

 

pj

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Hello pj,

 

I'm so happy to hear you've recovered from this nightmare, thank you for sharing your story with us.  I've long admired you for your positive outlook, and your integrity, so I'm especially happy to hear you're feeling so much better.  You've been so supportive of the forum, the members and the team, thank you for everything you've given.

 

Pam

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Thank you PJ for sharing your success story with us. I'm so happy that after all the suffering you endured you are finally healed. I feed on success stories and yours is awesome. You deserve to live your life fully again. I wish you the best in the word.

 

I was thinking this morning how important is for me the people I "meet" here. I woke up everyday and start thinking about my friends, how are they doing, hoping they are having a good day. Funny thing is that I don't think the same about my "real world" friends, maybe because I don't have many anymore  ;D. You are right, this community is awesome!! We are understood and supported, we could never find this elsewhere. You put in nice words exactly what I was feeling. I so glad to "meet you PJ, you are inspiration and a great friend for many people here.

 

Love ans big hugs.

laura

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Hello pj,

 

I'm so happy to hear you've recovered from this nightmare, thank you for sharing your story with us.  I've long admired you for your positive outlook, and your integrity, so I'm especially happy to hear you're feeling so much better.  You've been so supportive of the forum, the members and the team, thank you for everything you've given.

 

Pam

 

Thank you, Pam

 

You were the first one to welcome me when I became a member.  I wanted to thank you then, but I was so confused at the time I didn't know how.  So thank you.  You have helped, and encouraged so many. 

 

You are a true gem in a world of costume jewelry. 

 

pj   

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Thank you PJ for sharing your success story with us. I'm so happy that after all the suffering you endured you are finally healed. I feed on success stories and yours is awesome. You deserve to live your life fully again. I wish you the best in the word.

 

I was thinking this morning how important is for me the people I "meet" here. I woke up everyday and start thinking about my friends, how are they doing, hoping they are having a good day. Funny thing is that I don't think the same about my "real world" friends, maybe because I don't have many anymore  ;D. You are right, this community is awesome!! We are understood and supported, we could never find this elsewhere. You put in nice words exactly what I was feeling. I so glad to "meet you PJ, you are inspiration and a great friend for many people here.

 

Love ans big hugs.

laura

 

Thanks laura, :)

 

You are really sweet, and so much fun.  I am glad I met you too, laura.  I hope you heal quickly, and can enjoy life, and all the good things that go with it.

 

take good care of yourself

 

pj

 

 

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Dearest PJ,

 

The house is quiet and my mind starts racing.  I can't sleep so I log on to BB to find some comforting words.  Yours are the words I found tonight.  Such words of encouragement and hope and Success.  I'm so happy for you.  I also am a c/t.  I'm 7 months free - I do have windows and waves - the waves really frighten me, especially late at night when I am so alone while my family sleeps.

 

How did you manage to make it PJ?  Any words of wisdom to pass along? 

 

I truly am so happy for you, so appreciative that you have stayed around to write your success story.

 

Here's to you living a full life,

enjoy it PJ, go out and seek all that you want,

Sally Stillbelieving

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Hi sally,

 

Thank you for stopping by, and thank you for those kind words.

 

You asked how I managed. At first I blamed the Doctor, and would get upset, but I soon realized that all my energy would be needed to become whole again, and to continue to vilify my Doctor would do nothing but deplete my strength, and my will power.

 

A positive attitude will do more towards our healing than just about anything else can. 

 

When my legs hurt so badly, and I could only walk a few feet before I had to sit down, I would say to myself;  "What are you complaining about?, be happy that you have legs"

 

Distraction is so important.  Write a journal, write poetry, write about all the things you are thankful for, and always take time to laugh, and not be too serious. 

 

Spend sometime every day in the sunshine.  And most importantly, remember that you will completely heal, and that you are a unique, and special person.

 

the best to you

 

pj 

 

 

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Hi Pj,Thankyou for sharing more of your story...Ive always admired you...your strength and words...the way that you can almost paint a picture for me to see who you are as a person. Im so very happy that you have healed...I hope your future is filled with beauty and happiness. :smitten: Colleen
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Hi Pj,Thankyou for sharing more of your story...Ive always admired you...your strength and words...the way that you can almost paint a picture for me to see who you are as a person. Im so very happy that you have healed...I hope your future is filled with beauty and happiness. :smitten: Colleen

 

Hi Colleen, :)

 

I really enjoyed reading about your favorite childhood memory on the memories thread. It brings a smile to my face when I think of you playing school with your Great Danes, and reciting the Pledge of Allegience with them.  When you were A little girl, those big dogs must have seemed like ponies.

 

There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air is softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again..Elizabeth Lawrence

 

Thank you for your kind words, Colleen.  I sincerely hope that you can soon be over all the pain, and misery that you have had to endure for such a long time.

 

pj

 

 

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  • 1 month later...
Thank you pj for the reply to my thread and link to your story.  I am so happy for you!  I have hope now!
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Thank you, sarafina.  I'm glad you have hope, having hope can get us through the difficult times in our lives.   

 

If you have any questions about withdrawals, feel free to ask. 

 

Take good care of yourself, and remember that what you are experiencing, although painful, and confusing, is temporary, and will end. 

 

pj 

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thank you fore ur poste , what u said is so close to my story i went to the dr couz ihave stomach tides so he give ne xanax and buspar idid take the xanax 3 days only and the buspar 3 weeks  after that i start feel weird i thought iam going crazy panic attacks fears dizzy unreal feeling phobia and more symptoms , and went to other dr i told him i think that the benzo he say noo its only stay in ur body 2 weeks but ididnt believe them i know and i feel its not me tell i found this forum and the nice people here who feel what ihave and try to help , iam happy ur good now and i hope we will be soon .
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Hi hoda,

 

Thank you for those kind words.  You are right, there are many nice people on this site who are very helpful.  If Doctors were more educated about benzos, it would certainly  be a good thing. 

 

Take care, and I hope you are soon healed.

 

pj

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Hi PJ...Just wondered if you had nausea as one of your symptoms. I've had little bouts of it but it now seems to be moving to the top of the list.

 

Bill

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Hi Bill,

 

I had nausea, off and on, up until about the ninth month.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason in the way symptoms come and go.  I've had symptoms that I thought were long gone, and sure enough, they came back.  Just hang in there, and keep reminding yourself that it all will end.

 

pj

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Hi Bill,

 

I had nausea, off and on, up until about the ninth month.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason in the way symptoms come and go.  I've had symptoms that I thought were long gone, and sure enough, they came back.  Just hang in there, and keep reminding yourself that it all will end.

 

pj

 

Thanks again PJ...Bill

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Hi Bill,

 

I had nausea, off and on, up until about the ninth month.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason in the way symptoms come and go.  I've had symptoms that I thought were long gone, and sure enough, they came back.  Just hang in there, and keep reminding yourself that it all will end.

 

pj

 

hell pj.i applaud you for giving back.on that magical day i plan too as well.i got started on benzos in dec 2009

in the er.anxiety.however ccaused by stomach infection.given xanax .25 x 3 a day.once i found out it was infection i stopped.not good.since then i have been on a rollercoaster ride .on xanax 1mth.on ativan 1 mth

then finally clonazapam given to me by an er doc because when i stopped benzo i got insommina,head tightness

chills,sweats,muscle pain.clonazapam 1mg 3x a day.i soon cut cut cut.lost tons of weight and when on mery go round of test and scans to findout what was wrong with me.even went psyc ward twice to detox.not good

i even had surgery on neck and back because some doc said tension in head and numbness in feet where because of degenerative disk.not.i stopped clonazapam again april last year ,before surgery.put on oxycodone after surgery.stopped in august 2011.went into anxiety etc.put on ativan and stopped after 2 mths .5

per day.2 mths later relapse.put back on ativan 1mg twice a day.after bad advice from doctors went on

web and found BB.read aston manual and found myself.tons of bloodwork.tests,mri,mrv,mra,ct,8 endoscopes

spinal leak check,nerve conduction studies,test for TMJ.cancer blood screen.ultresounds.UTI test,bladder scope

nothing.well like you scan internet my favorite was virtual web md.after listing diffrent symptoms directed to ER everytime.48 total 5 diffrent hospitals.after a while was a labeled a nut case.finding BB i switched back to clonazapam a longer acting benzo to taper.my doc converted .5mg ativan to .25 clonazapam.never stabilized.

however tapered until i stopped 3/25/12.off now 75 days.

symptoms

itching

gi aches pains bloating,stinging,indigestion,malabsorbtion,sharp pain in solar plexes

head/neck/face sensations

tight muscles/weak muscles

pain in areas of surgery

wieght loss/now stable but still under

electric shock in right arm/hand

feeling ears/nose clogged

sensation/feeling in hands/feet

ache in ribs/right side -had recent scope and liver bloodwork done

frequent urine/groin pain  neg uti

sleep 5-6 hrs no additional meds my only relief

any advice or simular symptoms would be helpfull

thanks again

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HHi Alan could you explain your gi pain?  I have pain under my left rib.  Feels swollen and tender with some sharp pains.

thanks

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