Listen to me- We are ALL going to make it.

Hi Everyone,

 

Okay - so I want EVERYONE to listen to me.  I am going to list my ridiculous credentials, and then I want you to listen. 

 

I am a normal, grounded person.  I have a Masters degree.  I am a teacher, was a therapist, and now I'm a mom.  I've gone through - in my lifetime - some instances of severe stress - and never experienced anything like I'm experiencing now, in recovery. I have no psychiatric background, and I have never used illegal drugs and have only ever been a twice-a-year social drinker.

 

WE are in the midst of recovery.  We can ground ourselves.  We are "okay".  These things that are happening are a normal experience for those in recovery.  We are going to improve and improve. And things are going to balance out.

 

We may have very good days, and we may have some hard times.  Some of the HARDEST times for those who have healed come RIGHT before they are just "done". It can take several months of a great window after the WORST wave for someone to realize that the window is an open door. But this happens.

 

I have been at this 6 months.  You've been at this ___ days, weeks, months. It may take us 2 years. It may not. BUT IF IT DOES, WE will go on to LIVE and MAKE IT during the next phase of recovery.  We may ride it all out on here together. We may see new folks come and old friends leave, but we are going to make it.

 

No matter how hard this gets, we can be here for each other.  The AVERAGE time for healing is 6-18 months. That means this can be a longer process than what we wanted it to be.  But it does mean that it ends.

 

I have written to the following buddies - they ALL said it goes away - or that the very worst symptoms go away - and even if you're left with something minor -it ain't nuthin. 

 

- offandrunning (klonopin - high dose - many years - healed in less than 2 years)

-bybymatrix (klonopin and ambien- high dose- healed in 15 months - a few other symptoms after that, but only physical -now healed)

-regaudio (klonopin - healed 7 months)

-revolutionblue (xanax, then klonopin and depakote - healed in a little more than a year)

-sunny71 (klonopin - healed a lot along the way - tons of healing - much better by 18 months)

-pattylu (valium  - healed in 8 months or so)

-jaso19 (valium - healed by 15 months but big healing at 7 months and a lot of healing along the way)

 

These are people who MADE IT.  There are SOME people at the VERY end of the success stories threads that were HEALED IN A MONTH OR LESS. Some in a few months or less.

 

Bliss Johns reports that she has at least 5000 stories from people who write her saying they are NEVER going to make it - and then she is always getting stories from them along the way that they are improving. She followed them and the result is always the same. Healed.

 

The crux of this is that we know we are going to heal.  We just need constant reassurance.  And that is a-okay. 

If that is what we need, then that is what we need - everyday until we start to improve - everyday until it's done.

It's not an overnight process. But 2 years has 730-some-odd days. And so if it takes that long, it takes that long.

But we will still be here.  Until which time it happens, we are going to make it.

 

I was put on these medications becauase after the birth of my son, I had trouble sleeping.  Along the way, I was floxed with Avelox unknowingly, and still - I'm improving.  I can't tell I'm improving by compared today to yesterday. But I can tell if I compare today to January.  It's slow.  It's non-linear. It's unpredictable.  But it's happening. And healing is happening. And a final healing- one that is acceptable to me - is going to happen.  Perhaps I will have a leg twitch when it's said and done. But that is minimal. I can live with it.  And even so, that, too - will eventually go away.

 

We are tasked with only a few things:

 

- Hold on to one another for love and support

- Take care of our physical bodies the best way we know how

- Distract with anything that we enjoy - We are to be comforting ourselves as much as possible. This is healing.  And a broken leg needs tender care.  A nervous system in healing needs tender care, too.

- Reach out to one another when we need it.

- Allow acceptance to wash over us - and let this happen.

 

This last one is by far the hardest. Of course it is!   

 

But if we sit, quietly, loving our bodies, loving them through this experience, we CAN let it pass over us, wash over us - allow it to happen.  Relax knowing it is happening.  Relax in the mind, even when our bodies are symptomatic.  Relax in our mind, where we have a VERY STRONG knowledge, that we are okay.  Relax in our mind, where we know we are going to heal given just enough time.  Relax and not resist it.  Relax and let it wash over.  Let it wash over and through.

 

The way out of this is just doing this, day after day, until we are through it.  Day after day, we are here for one another, and will continue to be.  Day after day, things change. They improve.  They improve. They stumble, and still - they improve.

 

It is only a matter of time - YOUR time - OUR time - until we are finished and can look back with the satisfaction that we, too, have made it.  3 days, 4 months, 16 months, 5 weeks, 23 months. Whatever it takes, it will pass.

 

Today - be still and know it's happening. Let it wash over you as you take a shower. Let it wash over and force a smile. 

It is happening.  It will have a final end.  And it is only a matter of time.

 

5000 people is a lot of people.  We take a deep breath together, and accept that we are almost done.  We are almost done.

One more day.  One more day at a time.

 

I love you all,

:)Parker

THANK-YOU!!!!!!

Very nice, parker. Thank you!

Parker, thank you so much for this post -- I was sitting here this morning about to pass out from fear and anxiety; thinking I might not make it through this.  You are a blessing to this forum, and to me as a friend.  Admittedly, I'm still scared, but this has comforted me, and maybe, just maybe, I won't pass out from being overwhelmed. 

 

I too am prepared to accept a leg twitch or something, but I can't accept this mental agony.

Parker,

Thank you for this encouraging, fact based post. I needed something like this this morning. I feel stronger since reading it.

Thanks for taking the time and for saying it so well!

Flip

Thank you Parker.  Very positive and so very much needed.  I think I will print this out and post it to remind me.  Hope all is well with everyone.

Thank you Parker,  I REALLY needed this, this morning.  I am only now starting to go through phases of acceptance, then why me and anger, then acceptance....ect.

Thank you so much Parker. I read your post with tears. I needed this today. I am going to see if I can print it and paste it in my art journal so I can read it when I am discouraged.

Thank you for being so kind and taking the time to encourage each of us today.

Blessings to you!

WOW Parker! Thank you so much for this post.  THANK YOU  :yippee:

Thanks for the halftime pep talk coach!  It came at a good time.  Now I'm gonna get myself back in the game and go for the win!

 

MiniMinnie

Yes, you are correct. I know we will

 

Billy.

Thanks Parker.  Wonderful post.

Nice post Parker!! I'm sitting here at almost 5 months thinking I will never heal but I need to keep reading that others have healed at 15 months or 2 years.....either way we WILL heal! 

 

Sassy

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Nice Parker

I have just read that a famous football player from my country was diagnosed with leukemia. And while I wish him best of luck for the tough battle ahead, I am aware that it is far from certain if he would recover from it. On the other hand I am very positive that I will heal from my "sickness".

Matrix -

As you can tell, I couldn't do this without you.  You are one of the few folks on here that has been kind enough to write your success story, continue to support others, and respond lovingly to PM's for encouragement. It takes a special person to continue to be a support to others.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate you.

 

:)Parker

Thank you so very much for these wonderful words of hope and encouragement.  This is going on the fridge.  I really needed this today. 

 

Blessings on you!! 

 

XOX

Thank you Parker!!

Thank you for those true words of encouragement, I am in a great window and looking forward to continued healing which will happen to us all given time, time , time Ladygrace

That was a wonderful post Parker, so reassuring and i am having a good day, yet i still teared up... it really hit home and i´m grateful we have support in each other... loved this immensely and i will be keeping a print out of this for sure.

 

Thank you.

 

Oscar

Thanks Parker!!!  :yippee:

 

Your post came just at the right time.  You continue to be a bright and shining start in our recovery universe.

 

pianogirl

:thumbsup:

Wonderful encouraging post Parker - thanks so much for taking the time to write this out for all the BB to read and copy and rest in the knowledge that we all will HEAL!

Hoping2bFree

Yeh,

 

Good one always helps to hear there is an END ,more often the better!

 

               

                                             

 

Rondo