Hormonal Waves... harder later in recovery

Hello,

I am in a wave - no doubt triggered by hormones, as I've read many times that hormones interact with GABA and trigger things. But now, at 12 months, it is difficult as the anhedonia or negative emotions and dp/dr I am experiencing feel like a hit in the face compared to having had my emotions back and more balanced out recently...

I am trying to look at the positive of it highlighting that my emotions have balanced back out ordinarily, but it is difficult to feel positive in the moment and also challenging as the people close to me don't fully understand how it can feel when stuck in this headspace so that is making me feel more disconnected from them and reality... it is scary to think I used to feel like this constantly before that symptoms started to heal, and how much hard work I would have been for people with my emotions so flat or negative...

I appreciate other people will have had this problem as well but, alongside some other negatives with regards to my health and things at the moment, I was just hoping to connect with some people about it and feel a little bit less stuck out alone with it all like the dissociative feelings make me feel...

I've been recovered for a long time but I remember the emptiness, how flat I felt not being able to feel love or joy, to be dead inside.  This is such an isolating experience, not only are we cut off from our positive emotions, friends and family but we're cut off from ourselves as well. I'd look into a mirror and couldn't recognize myself, it was scary.

I'm glad these feelings have faded before and hope they will again.  Do you take hormones or are you dealing with your monthly?  There is a menstrual support group if you're interested. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=267621.0