Orionbash AKA Kiro Kiro's Success Story - PROTRACTED: THIS IS FOR YOU!

Its been a long time since I've used the name Orionbash on this forum. If you remember the name Orionbash, that makes me a little sad because you've been here a long time. But at least today I'm coming with a message of hope for others that got tangled into this mess. You CAN heal. However, in my case, time was not the answer. It might be yours, but it certainly was not mine.

 

I only used benzos for three weeks, but I suspect my life prior to benzos was poor enough for benzos to be the final nail in the coffin to send me into one of the wildest rides of my life.

 

I know its good form to post how your withdrawal kinda unfolded, your big waves, symptoms, etc...but honestly? I don't really think any of that matters because most of my withdrawal, in my opinion, was a huge waste of time. On August 10th of this year it will have been 10 years since I last took a benzodiazepene. Like all of you, I did go through the horrors of acute, the windows and waves of the years afterwords...but the first 8 years were literally pointless. So I'm gonna get to when the true healing started.

 

And I wanna preface with this: My story might make some uncomfortable, but its the reality of the situation for some of us going through this. If you are severely protracted and find yourself not getting better year after year, my story might help you on your journey towards healing. However, I'm not going to offer any specific advice for your case because in reality we're all different and what worked for me might not work for you. So don't use my story as a guideline for how you can 100% heal. But, hopefully some of the wisdom I can share will be beneficial to you.

 

Halfway through my 8th year I had a massive setback. Like, worse than acute massive. While going through withdrawal I was afraid of feeling worse and kept myself within a protective bubble which was the worst thing I ever did for myself. As you'll see through my story, pain was not a bad thing and in my case it was inevitable in order to heal. Anyway, I had so many symptoms, but the most problematic was acid reflux and breathlessness. I normally took aloe vera juice for my acid reflux, but suddenly found myself getting extreme anxiety from it which never really happened before. But my reflux was so bad that I weighed the options and was like, "Well, I'd rather have the anxiety than the reflux..." so for a week I kept taking it. And something weird happened. I started a detox. My tongue turned white, I was anxious, depressed, moody, had vivid nightmares, sweating like crazy...it was awful. I had no idea at the time, but I was curious as to why I would get these symptoms. And so started the first steps into my crazy healing journey.

 

I discovered I was detoxing. Aloe vera juice can detox the liver. Lol Who knew? Anyway, something was clogging my liver. I had all of the symptoms of candida, so I ran with that. And while it was true, I DEFINITELY had yeast overgrowth, it wasn't my only issue. But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here. And because I was stupid...I jumped the gun and started on an anti-candida journey that my body was NOT strong enough for.

 

I went on a diet despite being malnourished and lost over 100lbs in 4 months. Yeah, don't do that. At the same time I started seeing a naturopath who, honestly, wasn't all that bad...but I don't think she could grasp the severity of my situation because I couldn't even handle the "baby doses" of her detox blend. Like I got severely effed up. Lol. But its OK! Because that needed to happen in order for me to understand what was going on in my body. All of my setbacks were learning experiences. It took about two weeks for the single round of detoxing to calm down. Soon afterwords, I started to reintroduce food because I was now looking like a skeleton and I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR WHAT HAPPENED! Refeeding syndrome. Omg. Do NOT just reintroduce food after starving yourself without doctor supervision or it will mess you up so bad. But again, I needed this to happen because it sparked the events that led to me finally healing. So, it is what it is.

 

Anyway, I ended up in the ER with debilitating neurological symptoms. Like, my eyes were flicking around in their sockets on their own. It was horrifying. The ER doctor looked at me and was like, "Well, you're basically not skin and bones so you have adequate nutrition"... He was WRONG! Omg. And worst of all it was right at the start of the pandemic so he wasn't willing to run any testing on me. So I left the ER panicking. Now, thankfully my Mom was NOT ON MY SIDE through all of this. Sadly I had to move in with her because I blew through my life savings, RRSPs, etc... through this. Thanks Big Pharma...

But again, it was a good thing. Lol. Anyway, she basically had had enough with me and blew up on me on the way home from the ER and told me that enough was enough and that I was basically insane and needed meds for the rest of my life. That the ER doctor couldn't possible be wrong because he's a trained professional. Yeah, no. I wasn't taking that for an answer. Lol

 

Anyway, she called my family doctor in a huff the next day and got me an appt to see him. He, too, shrugged me off and told me I was doing it to myself. I knew better. I was on to something. But did agree to get some testing done. And thank god he tested me for the right vitamins! However, everything came back normal. Thanks to a guy that I had met on a Facebook group (I hope you're doing a lot better! if you see this. I know you'd know who you are) I learned that just because you're in "normal" range for vitamins it doesn't necessarily mean you aren't symptomatic. In my case, my B vitamins were all low normal. But if you're in the "low normal" range for long enough you can start to experience symptoms.

 

So at that point I was like, "Well, I got nothing to lose so..lets give this a try". And so I took the B vitamins. And it messed me up. Hard. However, after joining a vitamin b12 Facebook group I learned that there's sometimes a "reversing out" phase that people experience when taking vitamins. Also known as the Vitamin Paradox by doctors where you get worse before better. Sounds familiar right guys? Waves before windows?

 

ALSO NOTE: DO NOT BEGIN A VITAMIN JOURNEY WITHOUT MEDICAL SUPERVISION! Vitamins all work together and you can deplete one and experience a setback. Its quickly fixable, but having NO doctor willing to supervise me I had to learn this the hard way. There's also things you can experience if your co-factors for a specific vitamin are low. Like if your potassium is already low, taking B12 could land you in the ER. I cannot stress this enough. Reversing out is a thing, but so is pre-vitamin nutritional status.

 

Anyway, so I knuckled down and took the B vitamins. I did initially get better (And you can read all about this in my benzo blog, Kiro Kiro's B12 Journey) but I still had a lot of work to do. As I started to heal, my body became able to detox on its own. And while I thought I was getting worse...I was actually just healing. But I still had a LOT of work to do. Eventually I found out I was Vitamin D deficient as well. So I had to take that protocol as well. Omg that was horrible. I couldn't handle any stimulation at all. So for 6 weeks while I went through the reversing out for that protocol I basically just laid in the dark in my room listening to movies.

 

After that I found out the B1 in my complex wasn't enough and I had to take higher doses of that. And that was another 2 weeks of high anxiety, among other things. I remember being really nauseous too. I dunno. I did feel a little better after that, but then I hit a stalemate. I was no longer getting any better after 2 months of taking all the right vitamins. I had exhausted all of my research and had nowhere to go. But thankfully something good happened...

 

I thank the giant amoeba in the sky that my Mom decided her life as a CEO of a major company was too much work and decided to settle down and become a hairdresser. It was through one of her clients that she learned about live-blood analysis clinics. In my case, a former nurse who got messed up on pharmaceuticals and healed herself by doing all the research, got certified as a live-blood analysis practitioner (Note, they're still not doctors. But they do the investigative work for you) and now helps others get through the same situation. Anyway, so I went to see her. She took a single drop of my blood (Which, btw, looked REALLY BAD when she pricked my finger. It was not a nice ruby red colour. It was dark and purple) and we looked at it under a microscope together.

 

And when I saw floored me. Mold (It looked like spider webs all over the blood). Parasites. My red blood cells were all jumbled up and sticking together. They had no uniform shape. Some were big, some were small, some were slowly exploding on their own...I was shocked! I wish benzobuddies allowed pictures to be posted cuz I'd love to show you what my blood was like at first vs three months into her protocol. I suspect that my fears of being "setback" by anything is what prevented me from healing. Eating good, healthy food caused me to feel bad in withdrawal. So I often avoided it. Thats not to say it can't have a negative impact. Some people experience histamine issues, for example, and can't eat an avocado. That wasn't my case, but I still felt bad after eating good things and it was most likely a reversing out syndrome on its own. But ya, knowledge is power. Anyway, thats when she got me started on a healing protocol that was actually pretty easy.

 

First step was to take glutathione to clear my bloodstream of all the crap. Just for a week until my body was a little clear of some of the crap. I did detox. It wasn't fun. But it worked. Then after a week I would reintroduce my vitamins. Started to reverse out again, but it worked. I was feeling better!

 

....And then came the detox. Which actually wasn't all that bad and involved natural herbs (Oil of Oregano tablets, actually. Its really potent and I often wonder if this is why people react so badly to it in withdrawal). I just had ZERO energy. Like, none. Couldn't lift my own arms. My body was so full of toxins that it took a lot of energy clearing it out. But thanks to the glutathione I was taking I no longer experienced the irritability, anxiety, depression, etc...so that was nice. Then after rounds of OoO I would take probiotics. I would take my B vitamins on and off (Four months on, 2 months off because B6 in high amounts for a long period can cause toxicity symptoms. So I just took less than 10mg a daily for 4 months and then took a break off the B complex). And slowly I healed.

 

After 8 months I can do SO much again! I can play any videogame I want, I am no longer agoraphobic, I can eat GOOD, DELICIOUS FOOD! I can exercise! I can hang out with friends and feel mostly normal! Its so amazing guys. I never imagined at the start of my setback that this would have been a reality for me. But it finally is! Again, I wish I could post pictures because I'd love to show you all what you can do again once you heal. Actually, while in the healing process I became a semi-popular fashion Instagrammar, but only to the Japanese which sparked me learning Japanese and am now proficient enough to play online games with people that don't speak English. I never would have done that pre-withdrawal! And that in itself has been such a rewarding experience. So, ya, its been an interesting year and a bit while going through the healing process. And while I am upset that I lost so much of my life, I'm also happy because I have a maturity and understanding for things that people that never went through this would never understand.

 

Anyway, almost done. Haha. I'm sorry for the length of this. Now for the most important question: Am I 100% healed? No. Toxins are stored in fat cells and while I'm improving my health for the better all that needs to come out. And I'm still not done healing my gut. I probably have another 6 months to go. But gone are all the torturous symptoms. I just have chronic fatigue which prevents me from working, sadly. Otherwise I'd have a job. But compared to everything I've been through being tired is OK! I can still manage everything I need to for the most part. I just go down for naps throughout the day. My body has done a LOT of work and is exhausted. But its OK! Because that too one day is gonna go. But for now, the endless torment of the last 10 years is gone. I no longer worry about my future. And I'm excited for all of the things that I'm going to do going forward.

 

I'm sorry that my story is all over the place. I kinda summed it up the best that I could and tried to remove the smaller, insignificant details. If you want more, you can always read my Buddie Blog. Regardless, I hope you guys all get there too! Best of luck!

 

Orionbash (AKA KiroKiro)

 

P.S: If you want to ask me questions related to my story, I'm more than happy to answer them. However, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a licensed professional of any sort. Most of my story was honestly luck and as I stated, everyone's journey is unique and what worked for me might not work for you. So i won't answer any questions relating to a protocol for you. If you want to ask what I took or experienced with things, that's fine. Its just... It might not even be your answer. I am just one person in a sea of many trying to navigate this crap and through a series of unfortunate, but lucky events I managed to figure out what I needed to heal. Your answer might be time, it might not be. I dunno. I'm not even sure how much of my experience was really a withdrawal vs not anymore. But, regardless, I did heal and I know you all can too! Some of us just need a little extra help. I just really wanted to add my story to the collective in case it helps more people (As it already has via my buddie blog).

 

 

 

 

I'm so so proud of you brother. Proud of your boundless desire to continue improving, to never give up, to keep trying. And proud I got to be a small part of it along the way. Your conversation certainly helped me back when I was in the throws of it.

 

Onwards and upwards my friend. Don't look back.

I'm so happy you found answers, you sound wonderful!  I posted a link to your story on the protracted board but I wonder if you could start a thread there letting others know about your experience with a link to this story? 

Congrats KiroKiro (Orionbash)

 

I know how hard you worked, but never knew the horrible years you suffered behind the scenes

 

I’m sorry that you felt you had to start a new name here.

 

I’d love to ask more questions, did you have your genes tested and did you have any mutations on the COMT and MTRR genes.

 

I have so many mutations it’s insane. Probably why I’m having such difficulty getting off.

 

As you say it is quite complex and it sounds like your body was ready to be healed and you put on hard hard work to get there.

 

CONGRATS!!

 

YEAH.

 

Winnie

Congrats on your healing may continue x  'If you want to ask what I took or experienced with things, that's fine.'..""

If you don’t mind sharing as you said I would like to know what you took and what you experience. I always like to see everybody’s point of view regarding what  they took what happened to them how long it lasted what was the end results I am myself report  back if I tried anything  and explain as you said from a personal point of view how is affecting me I’m not prescribing it to anybody else I’m just sharing my experience.

 

Nova 💕

I'm so so proud of you brother. Proud of your boundless desire to continue improving, to never give up, to keep trying. And proud I got to be a small part of it along the way. Your conversation certainly helped me back when I was in the throws of it.

 

Onwards and upwards my friend. Don't look back.

 

Hurricane! Thank you! Its so nice to hear from you! I hope you're doing well, man! Yes, you were there from the start and saw a lot of the ups and downs. Hopefully its all just ups from here for both of us

I'm so happy you found answers, you sound wonderful!  I posted a link to your story on the protracted board but I wonder if you could start a thread there letting others know about your experience with a link to this story?

 

Sure, I don't mind at all!

Congrats KiroKiro (Orionbash)

 

I know how hard you worked, but never knew the horrible years you suffered behind the scenes

 

I’m sorry that you felt you had to start a new name here.

 

I’d love to ask more questions, did you have your genes tested and did you have any mutations on the COMT and MTRR genes.

 

I have so many mutations it’s insane. Probably why I’m having such difficulty getting off.

 

As you say it is quite complex and it sounds like your body was ready to be healed and you put on hard hard work to get there.

 

CONGRATS!!

 

YEAH.

 

Winnie

 

I never had genetic testing, no. I did learn in Facebook groups though that it doesn't matter what genes or mutations you have, it doesn't mean that they're active. I never understood that, though. And ya, my journey was a lot harder than I wrote on here. Lol Harder than it should have been. But, life happens. :/ Onwards and upwards for both of us!

Congrats on your healing may continue x  'If you want to ask what I took or experienced with things, that's fine.'..""

If you don’t mind sharing as you said I would like to know what you took and what you experience. I always like to see everybody’s point of view regarding what  they took what happened to them how long it lasted what was the end results I am myself report  back if I tried anything  and explain as you said from a personal point of view how is affecting me I’m not prescribing it to anybody else I’m just sharing my experience.

 

Nova 💕

 

Sure, Nova! I don't mind at all.

 

The cocktail of supplements that worked for me in the end were:

 

5000 Vitamin D3 daily

400 Magnesium

1 B complex (No more than 10 of B6 because it can be toxic to some people in high amounts. I did 4 months on, two months off)

3000 extra of methylfolate

1000-2000mcg of B12 daily

2 caps of Neutriswish (Glutathione supplement)

 

And then I took antifungals on and off as well as probiotics which I'm currently still taking and will until my gut is healed.

 

*bump*

Im adding an addendum:

 

Shortly after posting this success story I got covid and was set back. But, Ive managed to pull myself through the worst of it after about two months. I talk a little bit about it in my Buddie Blog, mentioned above.

 

What helped me was:

 

Vitamin D (This is very, very common in long covid cases)

A Detox regimen (Parasites, yeast)

 

Im not quite back to where I was, but Im definitely getting there week by week. If the doctors arent going to help you, you need to learn how to become your own doctor.

Im adding an addendum:

 

Shortly after posting this success story I got covid and was set back. But, Ive managed to pull myself through the worst of it after about two months. I talk a little bit about it in my Buddie Blog, mentioned above.

 

What helped me was:

 

Vitamin D (This is very, very common in long covid cases)

A Detox regimen (Parasites, yeast)

 

Im not quite back to where I was, but Im definitely getting there week by week. If the doctors arent going to help you, you need to learn how to become your own doctor.

Hope your feeling better mate 

 

 

Nova  :smitten:

Im adding an addendum:

 

Shortly after posting this success story I got covid and was set back. But, Ive managed to pull myself through the worst of it after about two months. I talk a little bit about it in my Buddie Blog, mentioned above.

 

What helped me was:

 

Vitamin D (This is very, very common in long covid cases)

A Detox regimen (Parasites, yeast)

 

Im not quite back to where I was, but Im definitely getting there week by week. If the doctors arent going to help you, you need to learn how to become your own doctor.

Hope your feeling better mate 

 

 

Nova  :smitten:

 

Much better Thank you! Back to business as usual. Just a bit of brain fog left now. Hope you are doing OK as well!

On 18/03/2023 at 11:57, [[K...] said:

Its been a long time since I've used the name Orionbash on this forum. If you remember the name Orionbash, that makes me a little sad because you've been here a long time. But at least today I'm coming with a message of hope for others that got tangled into this mess. You CAN heal. However, in my case, time was not the answer. It might be yours, but it certainly was not mine.

I only used benzos for three weeks, but I suspect my life prior to benzos was poor enough for benzos to be the final nail in the coffin to send me into one of the wildest rides of my life.

I know its good form to post how your withdrawal kinda unfolded, your big waves, symptoms, etc...but honestly? I don't really think any of that matters because most of my withdrawal, in my opinion, was a huge waste of time. On August 10th of this year it will have been 10 years since I last took a benzodiazepene. Like all of you, I did go through the horrors of acute, the windows and waves of the years afterwords...but the first 8 years were literally pointless. So I'm gonna get to when the true healing started.

And I wanna preface with this: My story might make some uncomfortable, but its the reality of the situation for some of us going through this. If you are severely protracted and find yourself not getting better year after year, my story might help you on your journey towards healing. However, I'm not going to offer any specific advice for your case because in reality we're all different and what worked for me might not work for you. So don't use my story as a guideline for how you can 100% heal. But, hopefully some of the wisdom I can share will be beneficial to you.

Halfway through my 8th year I had a massive setback. Like, worse than acute massive. While going through withdrawal I was afraid of feeling worse and kept myself within a protective bubble which was the worst thing I ever did for myself. As you'll see through my story, pain was not a bad thing and in my case it was inevitable in order to heal. Anyway, I had so many symptoms, but the most problematic was acid reflux and breathlessness. I normally took aloe vera juice for my acid reflux, but suddenly found myself getting extreme anxiety from it which never really happened before. But my reflux was so bad that I weighed the options and was like, "Well, I'd rather have the anxiety than the reflux..." so for a week I kept taking it. And something weird happened. I started a detox. My tongue turned white, I was anxious, depressed, moody, had vivid nightmares, sweating like crazy...it was awful. I had no idea at the time, but I was curious as to why I would get these symptoms. And so started the first steps into my crazy healing journey.

I discovered I was detoxing. Aloe vera juice can detox the liver. Lol Who knew? Anyway, something was clogging my liver. I had all of the symptoms of candida, so I ran with that. And while it was true, I DEFINITELY had yeast overgrowth, it wasn't my only issue. But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here. And because I was stupid...I jumped the gun and started on an anti-candida journey that my body was NOT strong enough for.

I went on a diet despite being malnourished and lost over 100lbs in 4 months. Yeah, don't do that. At the same time I started seeing a naturopath who, honestly, wasn't all that bad...but I don't think she could grasp the severity of my situation because I couldn't even handle the "baby doses" of her detox blend. Like I got severely effed up. Lol. But its OK! Because that needed to happen in order for me to understand what was going on in my body. All of my setbacks were learning experiences. It took about two weeks for the single round of detoxing to calm down. Soon afterwords, I started to reintroduce food because I was now looking like a skeleton and I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR WHAT HAPPENED! Refeeding syndrome. Omg. Do NOT just reintroduce food after starving yourself without doctor supervision or it will mess you up so bad. But again, I needed this to happen because it sparked the events that led to me finally healing. So, it is what it is.

Anyway, I ended up in the ER with debilitating neurological symptoms. Like, my eyes were flicking around in their sockets on their own. It was horrifying. The ER doctor looked at me and was like, "Well, you're basically not skin and bones so you have adequate nutrition"... He was WRONG! Omg. And worst of all it was right at the start of the pandemic so he wasn't willing to run any testing on me. So I left the ER panicking. Now, thankfully my Mom was NOT ON MY SIDE through all of this. Sadly I had to move in with her because I blew through my life savings, RRSPs, etc... through this. Thanks Big Pharma...

But again, it was a good thing. Lol. Anyway, she basically had had enough with me and blew up on me on the way home from the ER and told me that enough was enough and that I was basically insane and needed meds for the rest of my life. That the ER doctor couldn't possible be wrong because he's a trained professional. Yeah, no. I wasn't taking that for an answer. Lol

Anyway, she called my family doctor in a huff the next day and got me an appt to see him. He, too, shrugged me off and told me I was doing it to myself. I knew better. I was on to something. But did agree to get some testing done. And thank god he tested me for the right vitamins! However, everything came back normal. Thanks to a guy that I had met on a Facebook group (I hope you're doing a lot better! if you see this. I know you'd know who you are) I learned that just because you're in "normal" range for vitamins it doesn't necessarily mean you aren't symptomatic. In my case, my B vitamins were all low normal. But if you're in the "low normal" range for long enough you can start to experience symptoms.

So at that point I was like, "Well, I got nothing to lose so..lets give this a try". And so I took the B vitamins. And it messed me up. Hard. However, after joining a vitamin b12 Facebook group I learned that there's sometimes a "reversing out" phase that people experience when taking vitamins. Also known as the Vitamin Paradox by doctors where you get worse before better. Sounds familiar right guys? Waves before windows?

ALSO NOTE: DO NOT BEGIN A VITAMIN JOURNEY WITHOUT MEDICAL SUPERVISION! Vitamins all work together and you can deplete one and experience a setback. Its quickly fixable, but having NO doctor willing to supervise me I had to learn this the hard way. There's also things you can experience if your co-factors for a specific vitamin are low. Like if your potassium is already low, taking B12 could land you in the ER. I cannot stress this enough. Reversing out is a thing, but so is pre-vitamin nutritional status.

Anyway, so I knuckled down and took the B vitamins. I did initially get better (And you can read all about this in my benzo blog, Kiro Kiro's B12 Journey) but I still had a lot of work to do. As I started to heal, my body became able to detox on its own. And while I thought I was getting worse...I was actually just healing. But I still had a LOT of work to do. Eventually I found out I was Vitamin D deficient as well. So I had to take that protocol as well. Omg that was horrible. I couldn't handle any stimulation at all. So for 6 weeks while I went through the reversing out for that protocol I basically just laid in the dark in my room listening to movies.

After that I found out the B1 in my complex wasn't enough and I had to take higher doses of that. And that was another 2 weeks of high anxiety, among other things. I remember being really nauseous too. I dunno. I did feel a little better after that, but then I hit a stalemate. I was no longer getting any better after 2 months of taking all the right vitamins. I had exhausted all of my research and had nowhere to go. But thankfully something good happened...

I thank the giant amoeba in the sky that my Mom decided her life as a CEO of a major company was too much work and decided to settle down and become a hairdresser. It was through one of her clients that she learned about live-blood analysis clinics. In my case, a former nurse who got messed up on pharmaceuticals and healed herself by doing all the research, got certified as a live-blood analysis practitioner (Note, they're still not doctors. But they do the investigative work for you) and now helps others get through the same situation. Anyway, so I went to see her. She took a single drop of my blood (Which, btw, looked REALLY BAD when she pricked my finger. It was not a nice ruby red colour. It was dark and purple) and we looked at it under a microscope together.

And when I saw floored me. Mold (It looked like spider webs all over the blood). Parasites. My red blood cells were all jumbled up and sticking together. They had no uniform shape. Some were big, some were small, some were slowly exploding on their own...I was shocked! I wish benzobuddies allowed pictures to be posted cuz I'd love to show you what my blood was like at first vs three months into her protocol. I suspect that my fears of being "setback" by anything is what prevented me from healing. Eating good, healthy food caused me to feel bad in withdrawal. So I often avoided it. Thats not to say it can't have a negative impact. Some people experience histamine issues, for example, and can't eat an avocado. That wasn't my case, but I still felt bad after eating good things and it was most likely a reversing out syndrome on its own. But ya, knowledge is power. Anyway, thats when she got me started on a healing protocol that was actually pretty easy.

First step was to take glutathione to clear my bloodstream of all the crap. Just for a week until my body was a little clear of some of the crap. I did detox. It wasn't fun. But it worked. Then after a week I would reintroduce my vitamins. Started to reverse out again, but it worked. I was feeling better!

....And then came the detox. Which actually wasn't all that bad and involved natural herbs (Oil of Oregano tablets, actually. Its really potent and I often wonder if this is why people react so badly to it in withdrawal). I just had ZERO energy. Like, none. Couldn't lift my own arms. My body was so full of toxins that it took a lot of energy clearing it out. But thanks to the glutathione I was taking I no longer experienced the irritability, anxiety, depression, etc...so that was nice. Then after rounds of OoO I would take probiotics. I would take my B vitamins on and off (Four months on, 2 months off because B6 in high amounts for a long period can cause toxicity symptoms. So I just took less than 10mg a daily for 4 months and then took a break off the B complex). And slowly I healed.

After 8 months I can do SO much again! I can play any videogame I want, I am no longer agoraphobic, I can eat GOOD, DELICIOUS FOOD! I can exercise! I can hang out with friends and feel mostly normal! Its so amazing guys. I never imagined at the start of my setback that this would have been a reality for me. But it finally is! Again, I wish I could post pictures because I'd love to show you all what you can do again once you heal. Actually, while in the healing process I became a semi-popular fashion Instagrammar, but only to the Japanese which sparked me learning Japanese and am now proficient enough to play online games with people that don't speak English. I never would have done that pre-withdrawal! And that in itself has been such a rewarding experience. So, ya, its been an interesting year and a bit while going through the healing process. And while I am upset that I lost so much of my life, I'm also happy because I have a maturity and understanding for things that people that never went through this would never understand.

Anyway, almost done. Haha. I'm sorry for the length of this. Now for the most important question: Am I 100% healed? No. Toxins are stored in fat cells and while I'm improving my health for the better all that needs to come out. And I'm still not done healing my gut. I probably have another 6 months to go. But gone are all the torturous symptoms. I just have chronic fatigue which prevents me from working, sadly. Otherwise I'd have a job. But compared to everything I've been through being tired is OK! I can still manage everything I need to for the most part. I just go down for naps throughout the day. My body has done a LOT of work and is exhausted. But its OK! Because that too one day is gonna go. But for now, the endless torment of the last 10 years is gone. I no longer worry about my future. And I'm excited for all of the things that I'm going to do going forward.

I'm sorry that my story is all over the place. I kinda summed it up the best that I could and tried to remove the smaller, insignificant details. If you want more, you can always read my Buddie Blog. Regardless, I hope you guys all get there too! Best of luck!

Orionbash (AKA KiroKiro)

P.S: If you want to ask me questions related to my story, I'm more than happy to answer them. However, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a licensed professional of any sort. Most of my story was honestly luck and as I stated, everyone's journey is unique and what worked for me might not work for you. So i won't answer any questions relating to a protocol for you. If you want to ask what I took or experienced with things, that's fine. Its just... It might not even be your answer. I am just one person in a sea of many trying to navigate this crap and through a series of unfortunate, but lucky events I managed to figure out what I needed to heal. Your answer might be time, it might not be. I dunno. I'm not even sure how much of my experience was really a withdrawal vs not anymore. But, regardless, I did heal and I know you all can too! Some of us just need a little extra help. I just really wanted to add my story to the collective in case it helps more people (As it already has via my buddie blog).

Hi how are you doing now? 😊regarding  vitamin D did you feel like super hell when you started taking it? I had three blood tested which all showed I am insufficient in vitamin D. I started taking it a few days ago and man!  I can’t tell you how bad I feel right now☹️

mine also has K2 with it in the form of M7 as it’s needed to process of vitamin D get it into the cells and  are drops as I don't want a load of addatives in the mix.  Nova ❤️

11 minutes ago, [[n...] said:

Hi how are you doing now? 😊regarding  vitamin D did you feel like super hell when you started taking it? I had three blood tested which all showed I am insufficient in vitamin D. I started taking it a few days ago and man!  I can’t tell you how bad I feel right now☹️

mine also has K2 with it in the form of M7 as it’s needed to process of vitamin D get it into the cells and  are drops as I don't want a load of addatives in the mix.  Nova ❤️

Hey Nova! Yes, absolutely I did! It knocked me out for a good 6 weeks, actually. It made my cortisol very sensitive and super light sensitive as well. Anytime I would do anything it would make my cortisol fire like crazy and be very uncomfortable. It was a very long six weeks, but I knew it had to be done. So I just laid in the dark with TV on in the background and listened instead of watched. I believe I talk about this in depth in my Buddie Blog (KiroKiro's B12 journey).It should be around January~March of 2022 if you wanna read about my experience. 

Dont be afraid of whats known as "reversing out". A lot of people on here make the assumption that these symptoms are some sort of setback. They arent. Its well documented and known as the Paradox effect. The vitamin SHOULD be making you feel better, but it doesnt. Instead you feel much worse before better. Think of it like a wave. The only exception is if you overdose on certain Vitamins or deplete other vitamins in the process. That technically is a setback, but Ive had it happen to me multiple times and have always bounced back once Ive realized the mistake Ive made.

The only thing Im concerned about is you havent mentioned magnesium in your regimen. Magnesium is a co-factor of Vitamin D and required to get Vitamin D utilized properly. Your body might have enough to do it on its own right now, but if you arent using magnesium as well that will eventually get depleted. I personally used magnesium citrate as it doesnt have a profound affect on the brain. Its mostly used for constipation, but does the trick. Glycinate can mess with a lot of people, even those who have never experienced benzo withdrawal. Not sure why, but its not the recommended type. 

Taking K2 WITH Vitamin D isnt necessarily the greatest idea as they are both fat soluble vitamins and compete with one another. The Vitamin D protocol I did recommended K2 be taken at night and Vitamin D in the morning. Either way, I hope all of that helps and when it comes to vitamins always work with your doctor to ensure you're taking the proper co-factors and everything is in balance. You dont want to replace one vitamin deficiency with another. 

Some things to note: If you have issues with magnesium you are either 1) Deficient in it or 2) Deficient in thiamine. I also had to go through a very tiny paradox effect with magnesium, but it was nowhere near as bad as Vitamin D or Vitamin B12. Just increased anxiety for a week or so.

https://www.hormonesmatter.com/vitamin-therapy-paradox/

"Physicians who practice Alternative Medicine have found that it is possible sometimes to retrieve function at this late stage of development by the use of a course of vitamins given intravenously. They have also learned that the symptoms of the patient actually get worse in the initial stages of intravenous treatment but begin to get better following an unpredictable period of worsening. Naturally, the patient concludes that the treatment is bad or that it is causing side effects as in the use of pharmaceuticals. That is why I have christened it paradox, meaning that the unexpected happens.

Over the years of administering intravenous vitamin therapy for all kinds of conditions, irrespective of conventional diagnosis, I quickly learned to inform a patient about paradox before instituting treatment. Surprisingly, this paradoxical response usually heralds a good outcome. I do have some ideas about the cause of paradox, but it is so technical that I cannot attempt it here, perhaps in future posts. Intravenous vitamins are tremendously effective in the improvement of most chronic diseases, an effect that is almost impossible to achieve with the standard treatment of drugs as used in modern medicine today."

 

Oh and if you have specific symptoms you are worried about or want to read stories of other people who have gone through it, I also recommend Vitamin Facebook groups. Theres not a lot of success stories, because people feel better and dont come back to post, but you'll see that a lot of people get worse before better. It was always reassuring for me in the thick of it to read that other people were just as bad at whatever week I was in during therapy. 

Im still reversing out on Vitamin B12, although its much more subdued and the waves dont come around as often anymore. Its really not that bad once you get through the acute phase of it. Oh!! And one last thing. Sorry, Im just trying to be as thorough as possible. IF you are deficient in VItamin D you are also deficient in Vitamin B12 or one of its co-factors (Folate, Iron, magnesium, or potassium). So please have your doctor run some tests for that. If you end up in the low normal range, it does NOT mean you are OK. You could be, but the longer your body is in the low range the more likely it is for you to develop symptoms of deficiency. I was just above the red for B12 and my doctor initially told me that was normal before I met a psychiatrist at the best mental hospital in my city who told me that I was deficient and before they would give me any medication I had to correct that to ensure that it wasnt just a vitamin problem. 

And while Im here Ill update my success story. With vitamin therapy (Specifically Vitamin D and B12) I was able to recover rather quickly from long covid. Im back and even better than before. My agoraphobia is basically gone, only feeling a tiny bit anxious when going somewhere new, Im dating someone, and Im enjoying life. Ive also started looking for a job that would be easy for me to do, seeing as this will be the first time Ill have been employed in 10 years. Never give up, guys. Your answer is out there. 

2 hours ago, [[K...] said:

Hey Nova! Yes, absolutely I did! It knocked me out for a good 6 weeks, actually. It made my cortisol very sensitive and super light sensitive as well. Anytime I would do anything it would make my cortisol fire like crazy and be very uncomfortable. It was a very long six weeks, but I knew it had to be done. So I just laid in the dark with TV on in the background and listened instead of watched. I believe I talk about this in depth in my Buddie Blog (KiroKiro's B12 journey).It should be around January~March of 2022 if you wanna read about my experience. 

Dont be afraid of whats known as "reversing out". A lot of people on here make the assumption that these symptoms are some sort of setback. They arent. Its well documented and known as the Paradox effect. The vitamin SHOULD be making you feel better, but it doesnt. Instead you feel much worse before better. Think of it like a wave. The only exception is if you overdose on certain Vitamins or deplete other vitamins in the process. That technically is a setback, but Ive had it happen to me multiple times and have always bounced back once Ive realized the mistake Ive made.

The only thing Im concerned about is you havent mentioned magnesium in your regimen. Magnesium is a co-factor of Vitamin D and required to get Vitamin D utilized properly. Your body might have enough to do it on its own right now, but if you arent using magnesium as well that will eventually get depleted. I personally used magnesium citrate as it doesnt have a profound affect on the brain. Its mostly used for constipation, but does the trick. Glycinate can mess with a lot of people, even those who have never experienced benzo withdrawal. Not sure why, but its not the recommended type. 

Taking K2 WITH Vitamin D isnt necessarily the greatest idea as they are both fat soluble vitamins and compete with one another. The Vitamin D protocol I did recommended K2 be taken at night and Vitamin D in the morning. Either way, I hope all of that helps and when it comes to vitamins always work with your doctor to ensure you're taking the proper co-factors and everything is in balance. You dont want to replace one vitamin deficiency with another. 

Some things to note: If you have issues with magnesium you are either 1) Deficient in it or 2) Deficient in thiamine. I also had to go through a very tiny paradox effect with magnesium, but it was nowhere near as bad as Vitamin D or Vitamin B12. Just increased anxiety for a week or so.

 

Thanks for such an informative reply it’s really appreciated 😊👍 actually my magnesium serum levels are too high, according to the results that I had last week from a load of blood test I had done.  And exceptionally high in my age group too  here are the results below in the pics

 

here are the results below in the pics

Edited October 30, 2023 by [no...]

Thank you for sharing your story. It really resonates with me.

I think many of us end up on benzos because Western medicine doesn't know how to look for and address underlying root causes. Benzos are really good at masking these causes and symptoms, allowing us to get much worse and become more sick while on them.

So sometimes, I believe when we try to get off, we have all sorts of new problems that mirror a range of chronic illnesses. If we're lucky, we find someone who helps us to figure out we have a different chronic illness. If we're even luckier, we find a practitioner who can help us recover from the underlying issues causing the chronic illness. I wish it were a simple puzzle to solve. But different people have different genetic predispositions and different underlying illnesses. 

All the people now with Long COVID, who have the exact symptoms of protracted benzo withdrawal, even without ever having taken a benzo, really make this point. And benzos help mask the Long COVID symptoms, of course. 

So yes, your story resonates. 
 

2 hours ago, [[K...] said:

Just increased anxiety for a week or so.

I have noticed my morning anxiety is has  leap the last few days too 😕 as well as an epic rise in other symptoms. Like you said hypersensitivity burning pain. Basically everything that is the worst of my symptoms, but I am sticking it out because I know how essential vitamin D is I cannot understand why certain doctors under play it 😟 

My NHS Dr said oh, your vitamin D is borderline . nothing to worry about oh yeah! 🤔So I had another two test done at  home privately as I'm house bound, bedridden yet again right now 🙄 and they both come back insufficient or too low. I actually have  I had  a lot of different levels  of all sorts tested that the NHS won’t test for.

And I’m also on therapeutic keto diet which I started 12 days ago which is way different to what people tend to interpret the ketogenic diet as it’s 10 levels above, just eating low carb.

 

Calories are also a myth as well. I’m 5 foot seven, I weigh 125 lbs I’m putting away 3000 cal a day or at least 2000 most days  and I’ve lost a few pounds I’m not trying it for weight loss. I’m not interested in that at all. I don’t need to lose weight

 

The vitamin D I started three or four days ago.. I am doing the classic very high fat  keto diet that was invented for seizures but it also treats lots of other illnesses too. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and a lot of people have used it for cancer 

 My mother also had breast cancer, and if I knew then what I know now I would’ve treat my mother exactly the same way because the cancer didn’t kill My mother it was 200%  the treatment.

My mother walked in there to have those scans in fit happy living a fantastic active life wasn’t until they got their hands on her and pumping all sorts of shit and toxins into her that she made a very rapid decline because of the treatment I didn’t know any different but I know a lot different now and if I had known what I know now, as I said I would  told her don’t take that shit into your body let's try this instead.

i’ve also got a ketone and  glucose blood metre that also measures a GKI index which is seriously important.

I am treating in metabolically. Have you ever heard of a film called the cancer revolution at all? at the moment, you can only see it and instalment in UK, where I am. I don’t know where you are and you have to make a contribution doesn’t matter how much whatever you can afford to watch instalment, but the whole film supposed to be coming out for rental when I don’t know.

 

But it will blow a lot of peoples mind lies they're  being told the savage brutal treatment they’ve been given is the only reason they survived  when it isn’t because the treatments kept them alive. It’s because against all odds, they are in the minority managed to survive getting killed by the treatment.

 

so besides withdrawal and lacking in vitamins and minerals et cetera because of the benzos and the cancer. I have other ongoing matters that need to be healed and right now I feel like I am going through die off some people call it or the healing crises I also know about the Vitamin paradox.

And like yourself, I am sticking with the kicking because it’s for a good reason and what appears to be a flareup in symptoms and acquiring new ones is not because there is something wrong with the body it’s because the body is working the way it should. 

But no matter how aware  you are, how much you know at the end of the day, we are still human and man it sucks more than suck. 😩

 

I bet you even Buddha had days when he wanted a bang, his head against the wall, and probably had a good swear under his breath. but you’re not going to find that in any holy Scriptures or books or scrolls anywhere, are you might be a few walls dug up in the future where he did some graffiti regarding it on the wall. 😁

 

 

 

Great post, really happy you finally got to the bottom of things and coming out of the other side!! Thanks for coming back to share

which type of magnesium did you take with your vitamin D? I’ve just orderedMagnesium Glycinate  powder  so I can gently tape it up at my own rate plus I do not trust captions with all the additives all the pills for the same reason. 

On 06/01/2024 at 11:45, [[n...] said:

which type of magnesium did you take with your vitamin D? I’ve just orderedMagnesium Glycinate  powder  so I can gently tape it up at my own rate plus I do not trust captions with all the additives all the pills for the same reason. 

I am at the same point. The spasms are so bad so I am wondering if Magnesium Glycinate could help!? I tried it about two weeks ago and could only sleep for one hour the next night… coincidence? I would like to try it again but too scared. 

On 07/01/2024 at 12:08, [[s...] said:

I am at the same point. The spasms are so bad so I am wondering if Magnesium Glycinate could help!? I tried it about two weeks ago and could only sleep for one hour the next night… coincidence? I would like to try it again but too scared. 

I have hell spasms too from my head to my feet 24 seven besides, having to take it with the vitamin D. I am hoping it doesn’t affect me badly and it will help with the spasms. The reason I got the powder is because I can titrate by tiny doses, as I am so super sensitive. I am nervous too, but I need to try something 

Edited January 9 by [no...]