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Never thought things could get so bad after getting off benzo


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I am shocked and dismayed at my recovery process and numb to life from it. I never thought things could get this bad after quitting benzos. I never thought I would become an extreme case on Benzo Buddies. But here I am—an extreme case. I am writing to all of you today to let you know what is happening. I have no idea what to expect next.

 

If I hadn't taken Seroquel (Quetiapine) for sleep under the direction of a top-five hospital, I would be well on my way to healing the benzo injury and living my life again. But now I have to endure an agonizing taper with more physical pain and insomnia.

 

I was desperate because I hadn't slept in two weeks due to a rapid benzo detox. So I went to the hospital, where they suggested taking Seroquel to "calm my nervous system" and get some rest. I was not in my right mind to agree to take this medication. It has ruined my recovery, and getting off is way worse than benzos.

 

I have slowly tapered for six months and developed withdrawal akathisia from it. The aka got worse this week with a modest cut. That cut brought eye pain, twitching, and excessive eye blinking this week. I already had electricity feeling through my body at times (thankfully, this seems to be going away somehow now; I only have a tingling back which seems tolerable), muscle spasms that seem convulsive, jerks, shakes, twitches, inner vibration 24/7. I had none of this in benzo withdrawal. This makes the head pressure, jaw pain, and tinnitus, along with all the other benzo symptoms, seem easy.

 

BTW the tinnitus has decreased by 95 percent by some miracle. I barely hear it anymore, and it is not because I am habituated. That was the reason I didn't sleep for two weeks in the first place. I wish I had known it would go away; maybe I would not have been so desperate to take an antipsychotic off-label. I mean, really, how stupid of me. I had no idea it was an antipsychotic. I am told by docs that "withdrawal symptoms when stopping Quetiapine are uncommon..."

 

I wish I had known that other medications during withdrawal only complicate matters and can worsen them. And that hospitals are not safe places for people in benzo withdrawal. Because there is no data on withdrawal, and doctors don't understand the phenomenon. They do not know how to deprescribe any drug considered "psychiatric," even if it is being used off-label for sleep for someone who is not a psych patient. There are no deprescribing guidelines; they only make guesses and then turn around and diagnose us with incorrect labels. I am sad to say that I no longer trust doctors.

 

I have internal terror and, at this moment, a strange acceptance that this could be it for my life. I have prayed and prayed and prayed and God has left me here in this position. I used to be an active person who meditated and connected with God, did good for others, and enjoyed life. I always had a positive attitude, but that attitude has faded. This process could take everything from me.

 

I know some people have had surprise turnarounds on these sites. It could happen to me, but in this withdrawal game, I have learned there is no rhyme or reason, and those that come out on the other side unscathed or healed are very lucky. I envy those who have had an easier go of this.

 

I am lucky that my family believes me. I am lucky that I have a couple of friends who have stuck by me. Thankfully my doctors know I am not mentally ill. But, unfortunately, unless you have been through the hell of this, you simply do not understand what is like and what is really going on.

 

 

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You aren’t alone thinking this is it for life, I feel the same. Like you I stupidly listened to doctors  who assured me taking SSRI’s would make the intrusive thoughts go away, instead made them lot worse. Developed a whole set new ones after having a flu jab, felt really psychotic. The psych prescribed seroquel saying it would help. Have occasionally taken it, but reading your post relieved didn’t take it regularly. The GP who forced me to CT off zopiclone assured me would have no problems, 4 years later still not recovered. Just to reassure you I completely know how you feel, I have lost all hope God will save me, and have absolutely no trust in doctors, think they are totally clueless regarding these drugs.
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I used to be such a strong person, now I just feel a pathetic weak waste of space. I can’t believe after 4 years still not recovered, some of the stories on protracted board scare me to death. I only ever took tiny amount zopiclone about 4 packets a year, but the doctors actions have destroyed my life. Least your doctors don’t think you are mentally ill, the psych I spoke to kept saying wasn’t normal to have these thoughts when was trying force me onto anti psychotics😩
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I no longer trust GPs. But how can so many NOT know how dangerous these drugs are? It all comes from the top( our Governments). This poison should have been banned if they care so much but it seems money for big pharma is priority.
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There are so many drugs if you think about it. And doctors just do not know the ins and outs of prescribing and deprescribing. Then again, maybe 75% of the population doesn't have issues with the meds as well. I cannot wait to be 100 percent medicine free. By the Grace of God go I...
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