18 years of benzos

Hey everyone. I’m new here.

Almost 18 years ago I was put on 1mg klonopin a day for bad anxiety/panic attacks.

I’m still on it, and it only works a little bit nowadays. I have a lot of weird symptoms (mainly neurological, some physical) and from what I read it’s safe to assume it’s from being on this med for so long- tolerance withdrawal, and my body is just depending on it and I hate it.

My psychiatrist has been retired for years, so my regular doctor has been reluctantly prescribing the medication, and she wants me to do a fast taper… but that is not going to happen. I want to taper slow and plan on telling my doctor that next time I see her. I plan on doing a slow taper (10% every 2 weeks or more) but I am so scared. I am actually seeing a neurologist in the near future to find out if what I’m experiencing is from the medication or if it’s something else. I do plan on discussing tapering with the neurologist as well.

The only other medication I ever had to taper off of was Cymbalta and that was complete hell, and it’s not even a benzo.

I am also so scared of my panic attacks coming back full force. As an adult with a young child I can’t imagine going through what I went through daily 18 years ago that got me put on this medicine in the first place. 

I really wish when I was prescribed this medicine that the psychiatrist told me it was only for short term use, and that she would have told me about all of the problems that can come with it… but of course, I was left in the dark, and I found everything out as the years went by. I’m kicking myself for not getting off of this years ago. Unfortunately, I don’t have a time machine.

If anyone can help me with a taper schedule and how to go about cutting these pills into super small doses I would really appreciate it beyond belief. Also wondering if anyone has recommendations for a pill cutter and thoughts on using liquid titration once super small doses can’t be achieved by using a pill cutter?

Hi Starlit89!

Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

Unfortunately your story is very common. Most of us here had no idea what these pills do can do to you and we just learned the hard way. Your symptoms sound like normal withdrawal symptoms to me, but there's no harm in getting yourself checked out. I do think you might be experiencing tolerance withdrawal. I think you're wise in insisting on a slow taper. Generally we recommend cuts of no more than 5-10% every two weeks or so but it's best to let your symptoms guide your taper rate. A symptoms based taper should allow you to remain functional while you get off these meds. I know it's very scary when you try to come to terms with it, but I want to reassure you, you're going to be okay.

Most people who start their taper do so by direct tapering through shaving and weighing their pills. You can start a thread on the Tapering Boards (link below) and our members will help you there. The first link below might be worthwhile to provide to your prescriber to support a slow taper.

Here are some links to get you started:

Colorado Consortium Benzodiazepine Deprescribing Guidance

Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper)

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

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Have a look around and start posting when you're ready!

Thanks for the welcome!

I definitely believe I’m experiencing Tolerance withdrawal. I’m checking out all the links and will post on the tapering boards soon. Thank you.