In recovery-mode - and I had no idea !

Hi everyone ,

I think it is time to share some positivity as I just saw the doctor.

My doctor lets me know my withdrawal symptoms are protracted withdrawal and that I am showing healingsigns.

After a week free of panic-attacks I think I will have to agree on that.

This is a successtory in his opinion as he knew me when I was constantly taking too much benzodiazepines.

He knew me when I was constantly panicking and took up to 20 or more benzodiazepines a day. They were often afraid I was consuming an OD.

Now after visiting him he mentioned that the symptoms I have are no longer acute but post-acute.

It did take me up to one year and a couple of months to be where I am today.

And still we are not there yet... but we are getting there and we are doing good so far.

I still feel sick a lot but it comes and goes.

I am one week free of panic attacks and had no agoraphobia and misophonia , even did my groceries ( what a miracle ! ).

The beginning of my withdrawal was hell on earth... I was having panic attacks , I had severe anxiety and often fainted.

I could not even walk anymore and had to borrow a wheelchair because the benzodiazepines also damaged my central nervous system... nothing was in its place , I cried all day , could not sleep , did not have a moment of peace at all.

I am certain many have been trough the same nightmare.

Recently I started to notice changes and again I started to panic because I did not know the feeling.

now I learned " it is my body starting to feel again what I did not feel anymore because I was numbed by the benzo's "

apart from an upset stomach on occasion I feel increased appetite ( had no idea anymore what it was like to be actually hungry !  )

I am on a low dosage and I honestly never gave myself the credit " I did it already and I had no idea I did " ... coming from 20 pills a day , up untill a week ago I took 3 times valium a day but even that is on a taper now and I can assure those afraid of taking the step ; it is fine , it is not as bad as in the beginning , yes you will feel it but honestly it just feels like having a flew now ...

I understand I had to overcome my fears instead of constantly suffering panic attacks , now I am learning that as well ( one week without that , wow , this is awesome ! )

I still struggle to relax without my meds but I am learning it too.

my body was able to relax without benzodiazepines and I think it is a miracle !

A week ago I was on 3 times valium a day , today I am on 2 times valium a day and missing out that last pill ; yes I feel sick but it is not as bad is used to be in the beginning.

I feel that I am finally getting there

Note for those on their own ; go see a doctor on occasion , they can help you get trough the creepy parts , if not , read on this website about it and yes it works fine !

I'm sure it is a succes story but I was just unaware of it , now I wanted to share it , because we can all do this !