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5 months off not ready to party yet


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I am nowhere near celebrating or feeling good being off of benzos. Five months off today, and unfortunately, I am not celebrating yet. Most days, I hope I make it out alive.

 

In the last couple of weeks, things have gotten worse. I have new symptoms of muscle spasms, an electric feeling all over my body, including on the bottom of my feet, and inner tremors. That is in addition to tinnitus, hyperacusis, horrible jaw pain, sleep issues, and many more.

 

I constantly have flashbacks of that conversation with my therapist about Ativan and wish I had held to my guns when I said no, I don't want to take that. I can't believe this could all happen to a person taking medication as prescribed. SO DEPRESSING.

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You know Rebecca29, the name of this board used to be just Benzo Free Celebrations but we realized that while we’re happy to be benzo free, there’s not much to celebrate for far too long.  Hence, we added the word milestones. 

 

I wish I could say things will get better soon but I remember my disappointment at 6 months so I’l just say we’re capable of complete and blissful recovery and I hope yours comes soon.  :smitten:

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I can’t point to a moment in time that I could acknowledge I was improving, I think I was stuck in the negative thinking that wouldn’t allow me to.  I do know I was able to return to work 3 weeks after my cold turkey so I know I passed through acute but after that, I couldn’t see improvement even though I now know I was.  I so wish I would have kept track of my symptoms and their severity so I could at least see it on paper.

 

My story is radically different than yours so we can’t compare them but when I did recover, it was completely with no lingering symptoms, no PTSD and no setbacks. 

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