8 months post jump

[[Buddie]]

It's been wavy. Lots of ups and downs. One BIG wave at month 6 (brought on by a procedure where I had to take fentynal, there was also alot of emotional and physical stress surrounding the situation). BUT after that big wave, I felt even better then before the big wave started. 3 weeks later I fell into another wave, but it was smaller. Coming down from the wave was similar to the experience of your ears popping. There is a distinct moment of - oh wow, things are So clear!  I still have some physical symptoms that are waving through my days. BUT. the psychological are gone, for now. And if they come back I know it'll pass. But have hope, that even when waves come, clarity and relief is right behind. It might take time, days, weeks, months, but it will be worth it.  I was looking in the mirror yesterday saying to myself, i'm so glad i'm alive, i Love life. This was Not my thoughts for so many years. Lots of suicidal ideation, convincing myself life is terrible with Way too much suffering.  But I promise it's not all terrible. The beautiful, still, and peaceful moments are what makes everything worth it. 

[[Buddie]]

Congrats on feeling better! I’m at month 8 from going CT so I can def relate with u on the waves and knowing/hoping that after each wave we will be even better than before. When you are in wave next time just remember how u felt looking in the mirror saying you loved life!! ❤️

[[Buddie]]

I keep reading this, over as d over! Thank you and WTG!!!!! 💝

[[Buddie]]

Congratulations!! Are you able to share you taper plan?

[[Buddie]]

Just wondering if you have to be a British Columbia resident to work with that doctor? Thanks.

[[Buddie]]

Just wondering if you have to be a British Columbia resident to work with that doctor? Thanks.

As long as you can go in person for your appointments, I believe they do private coverage which is like 100 bucks a month. The clinic has been set up for people who are not able to afford care which is why it's relatively cheap, the doctor there is pretty amazing. There is also a compounding pharmacy in the clinic where they dose out exactly what you need for the next two weeks. That way we aren't obsessing over cutting our pills or diluting them in water etc. the measuring process that a lot of us have to do doesn't help the healing process. My heart goes to those who are having to have a chemistry set up in their kitchen and attend to it every day to get through this mess. 

[[Buddie]]

Congratulations!! Are you able to share you taper plan?

yes, how do I attach a document???

NOTE - everyone's plan differs. At certain points in my taper I only held for 2 weeks, but others I held for a months time. Use the hard rule of you can hold but don't increase. I only went down by 1/8th of a .5mg pill at a time. I suggest not decreasing any faster. This will give your brain more time to heal, receptors to grow back. If you cold turkey or go down by a lot per decrease - this is equivalent to waxing your receptors off, instead of doing a slow pluck. We can't shock our brain by not giving it the benzo's it's become reliant on. 

if you have questions feel free to PM

[[Buddie]]

Congratulations!! Are you able to share you taper plan?

yes, how do I attach a document???

NOTE - everyone's plan differs. At certain points in my taper I only held for 2 weeks, but others I held for a months time. Use the hard rule of you can hold but don't increase. I only went down by 1/8th of a .5mg pill at a time. I suggest not decreasing any faster. This will give your brain more time to heal, receptors to grow back. If you cold turkey or go down by a lot per decrease - this is equivalent to waxing your receptors off, instead of doing a slow pluck. We can't shock our brain by not giving it the benzo's it's become reliant on. 

if you have questions feel free to PM

i can personally email it to you if you want? I can't figure out how to attach :/

[[Buddie]]

I don’t feel comfortable sharing my email. Can you tell us how much you were on, for how long and how long the taper took?

Were you comfortable through it or very anxious? I am so anxious and in tears all the time.

[[Buddie]]

Also what dose were you at when you jumped?