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Some firsts this week while in PAWS


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I wanted to share some positive things that happened this past week since I have spent more time here sharing about symptoms and other setbacks in PAWS. Next Tuesday will be 4.5 months for me off of Ativan. I am not celebrating yet; not making any declarations. I barely trust progress since I have been through many ups and downs and have had hope for hope to be lost many, many times. Here is what I noticed/experienced happening in the past week:

 

--For the first time in over four months, jaw and head pain diminished enough for me to not stay in bed all day in pain

--I laughed—a deep belly laugh—for the first time in over four months

--I made light of my situation and joked about it for the first time in over four months

--I enjoyed feeling the sun on my skin for the first time in over four months

--I could feel love for my dog for the first time in over four months

--I slept 9-12 hours many nights in a row for the first time in over four months

--I closed the door to the bedroom for the first time in over four months, which is miraculous since I fear being alone due to PTSD from benzo withdrawal 

--For the first time in over four months, I went from barely being able to order food online to doing some light work and experiencing some executive function returning

--I am eating enough food and starting to gain weight back for the first time in over four months 

--I watched a reality TV show for the first time in over four months—I could follow the storyline and didn’t feel attacked or panicked by it

--I drove an unfamiliar car which might not seem like a big deal, but I have barely driven in the last months, and to drive a car I wasn't familiar with seemed miraculous

 

 

Regardless of what happens from here, I am grateful for these moments. I would love to hear about your healing moments on the way to recovery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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That is amazing! Sounds like you're making some good progress. Good on you for being able to recognise some big and small victories!
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Nice work!!! Happy for you. You sound like you are on the right track!!! Being able to follow a story line and drive is truly a sign of healing
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